It was - it is - a positive screen for Down's Syndrome. It's a risk-assessment screen, not a diagnostic screen, so it's not conclusive - and I know that I need to focus on the fact that it's just about odds, that false positives happen all the time, that further testing isn't as scary as it seems, that it could all be fine - but still, it's not a happy thing. Not a happy thing at all. It's a dark cloud hanging over my head now, and even though I know that dark clouds don't always end up dumping buckets of rain or hurling thunderbolts upon your head, I still don't like them. They block the sun. I need the sun. So badly right now, I need the sun.
I need to crawl under the blankets for a while to process this. Thank you all so much - from the bottom of my heart so much - for the endless waves of love and support.