Her Bad Mother

Saturday, April 14, 2007

The Bad Mommyblogger Purity Test

Greetings and salutations (first one to name the movie, the speaker of that line, and where I actually saw him in person – I’ll send you a mix CD). I'm Julie, and you can usually find me at mothergoosemouse. (Mix CD has been won by Amy Jo!)

It’s an honor to be here, trashing Her Bad Mother’s pristine blog with all of my trashiness. Frankly, I’m intimidated to be kicking off this burlesque show, as I’ve never even been in a wet t-shirt contest, let alone paraded across the stage of the Moulin Rouge wearing nothing but feathers. Consider me the little trick dog that amuses you. Kristen and Liz and Joy will be here with the feathers soon enough.

------------------------------

I grew up in the Midwest, and when we weren’t out tipping cows, we were busy raising our scores on the Purity Test (thereby lowering our Purity).

The Purity Test consisted of two tattered sheets of paper that had been copied and re-typed and copied again and folded up and shoved into the back pockets of innumerable pairs of jeans as it made its way around our high school several times over. The 100 questions on the test concerned sexual experimentation, drug and alcohol experimentation, and how much trouble you’d gotten into with both of those. Not only was it fun to assess just how far your own innocence had deteriorated, it was also pretty interesting to guess – based on your friends’ scores – in what ways THEIR innocence had deteriorated. That is, which questions they’d answered yes and which ones they’d answered no.

It’s been at least 15 years since I last took the Purity Test, and now that I’m over 21, with a husband and children, many of the questions seem…well, kind of boring.

But a Bad Mommyblogger Purity Test? Well, that’s another story altogether.

The Bad Mommyblogger Purity Test


Check all boxes for which your answer is "yes".
The "submit" button is at the bottom.



  1. Do you have a blog?

  2. Have you been blogging for more than one year?

  3. Have you been blogging for more than five years?

  4. Do you contribute to more than two blogs?

  5. Do you contribute to more than five blogs?

  6. Do you comment on others' blogs?

  7. When commenting, have you ever provided a fake name/fake e-mail?

  8. When commenting, have you ever flamed the blog owner?

  9. When commenting, have you ever flamed another commenter?

  10. Do you post unflattering tidbits about your spouse or SO?

  11. Do you post unflattering tidbits about your in-laws?

  12. Do you post unflattering tidbits about other bloggers?

  13. Did you go to BlogHer '05?

  14. Did you go to BlogHer '06?

  15. Did you go to BlogHer Business '07?

  16. Are you going to BlogHer '07?

  17. Do you write about poop?

  18. Do you write about pubes?

  19. Do you shave/wax/otherwise eliminate your pubes?

  20. Do you say "fuck" in your posts?

  21. Does your spouse or SO read your blog?

  22. Do your in-laws read your blog?

  23. Do your co-workers read your blog?

  24. Do your kids read your blog?

  25. Does your ex read your blog?



Leave your score in the comments!







75 Comments:

Blogger Lady M said...

That was fun, Julie!

Badness of 36%, a long way to go.

12:06 AM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

So, I appear to be one of the first comments and, based on the results, I rather suck at my badness. Sigh. Oh, and I'm doing this on a Saturday night. Lamer still...

You answered "yes" to 11 of 25 questions, making you 56.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (44.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt); that is, you are 56.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain (your Badness is 44.0%).
According to the scoring guide, your Bad Mommyblogger experience level is: A Pretty Darn Awful Mommyblogger, that's you. But nowhere near Bad.

12:06 AM  
Blogger Lena said...

50% badness. As I assumed. I refuse to be labeled! Haaaa!

1:18 AM  
Blogger Chag said...

I'm only 32% in the Bad MommyBlogger Test. But I'm a Dad.

And here's my guesses: Heathers, Christian Slater, and how the hell should I know? Rehab? Chicago? Rehab in Chicago?

1:21 AM  
Blogger The Jewel said...

Yep, I'm pretty lame too, I guess. But I did score a 60% badness!

HBM, did you make this yourself, or was it found in the glorious archives of the internetz?

1:47 AM  
Blogger Mary Tsao said...

I'm only 56% Bad. I've got to work on my trash-blogging!

2:22 AM  
Blogger Granny said...

It sounds like Charlotte, the spider in Charlotte's Web. The girls have watched the original so many times I have it almost committed to memory.

2:23 AM  
Anonymous mel said...

I am ashamed to admit my badness level. Can I remedy it now. Wanna' hear about my pubes? My inlaws? My inlaws pubes? Shudder. Me neither.

Fun test...even if I suck

www.freakparade.wordpress.com

2:24 AM  
Blogger Granny said...

Can't be though - you said you saw him in person and Charlotte was a she.

Oops.

2:24 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

84% mommy pure. I always knew I was an angel....

:-)

5:18 AM  
Blogger something blue said...

Oh poo poo I only scored 48% bad. If only I could write the naughty words.

But I did catch my daughter saying What the Hell today. I asked where she heard that and she told me it was from me. What the hell?

Julie thanks for the visual of the Blogging Burlesque Show. Your feathers are hot!

5:33 AM  
Anonymous madge said...

I am 52.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain (my Badness is 48.0%). So, I am a Pretty Darn Awful Mommyblogger.

I'm going to run with Christian Slater, but say Pump Up the Volume instead of Heathers.

Where'd you meet him? I'm going to have to say...Jail.

7:21 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I am a dork.

68% pure, 32% bad.

I'll try harder.

Fun post!

7:28 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

You answered "yes" to 5 of 25 questions, making you 80.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (20.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt); that is, you are 80.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain (your Badness is 20.0%).
According to the scoring guide, your Bad Mommyblogger experience level is: Quite the neophyte, aren't you? Lots of Badness to go, my friend.

8:15 AM  
Anonymous Mir said...

DUDE. Only 24% Mommyblogger pure, and "in the home stretch of Mommyblogger badness." I can't decide whether I feel proud or dirty.

A little of each, I think.

8:46 AM  
Blogger slouching mom said...

Umm. I am embarrassingly pure. God, this is just like high school.

I guess once embarrassingly pure, always embarrassingly pure.

8:53 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

I am a lame ass neophyte with only 32% badness.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

LOL well 52% badness.... or as it said " darn awful"

9:12 AM  
Blogger Amy Jo said...

I am only 28% bad. A neophyte. Pathetic!

As far as the quote goes, I believe it is from Heathers, spoken by Christian Slater, and that you encountered him at an auto show, right?

9:20 AM  
Blogger Jerri said...

32.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (68.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt); that is, you are 32.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger

lovely, I'm not looking so good up against your other readers...ack!

9:48 AM  
Anonymous the new girl said...

72% PURE, my friends. (almost a bar of friggin' Ivory soap!)

*sigh*

See? I AM a Maryann.

Signed,
Always wanted to be a Ginger

10:01 AM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

Amy Jo is the winner of the mix CD! Christian Slater in Heathers, and I found him at an auto show in Detroit.

But I like Chag's and Madge's answers too. I'd go to jail for a night if that meant I'd be spending it with Christian Slater.

10:14 AM  
Blogger nomotherearth said...

32% bad, and still a neophyte. Got get me some badness.

10:17 AM  
Anonymous Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I've got 64% badness. Maybe more. I have no idea if any of my exes read.

10:52 AM  
Anonymous Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Am I the worst? I mean baddest?

How rock n roll am I?

10:53 AM  
Blogger venessa said...

28% pure. Time to get nasty...

11:06 AM  
Anonymous Elizabeth said...

I am 48% pure, so 52% bad. But still not as bad as SARAH!!!

11:25 AM  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

Christian Slater, Heathers. But I dunno where you met him. I once bumped into Weird Al on the streets of Vancouver. He's no Christian Slater, though.

So, my results?

You answered "yes" to 8 of 25 questions, making you 68.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (32.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt); that is, you are 68.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain (your Badness is 32.0%).
According to the scoring guide, your Bad Mommyblogger experience level is: Quite the neophyte, aren't you? Lots of Badness to go, my friend.

11:47 AM  
Blogger Mimi said...

Cute! I remember those purity tests too... Always good for a laugh!

My results:

You answered "yes" to 5 of 25 questions, making you 80.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (20.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt); that is, you are 80.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain (your Badness is 20.0%).
According to the scoring guide, your Bad Mommyblogger experience level is: Quite the neophyte, aren't you? Lots of Badness to go, my friend

11:52 AM  
Blogger Mimi said...

Cute! I remember those purity tests too... Always good for a laugh!

My results:

You answered "yes" to 5 of 25 questions, making you 80.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (20.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt); that is, you are 80.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain (your Badness is 20.0%).
According to the scoring guide, your Bad Mommyblogger experience level is: Quite the neophyte, aren't you? Lots of Badness to go, my friend

11:52 AM  
Blogger Motherhood Uncensored said...

60% LOL.

Surprised?

11:56 AM  
Blogger Pattie said...

I am 76% pure.....I am a nerd ;P

11:57 AM  
Anonymous Glennia said...

60% pure. Guess I better work on that, since I'm "awful bad" whatever that means. I should go leave a mean comment somewhere, but I don't want to make anyone feel bad. Man, I suck at being bad.

12:05 PM  
Blogger MotherBumper said...

Damn! I'm still a virgin - I only scored 36% badness... I really had myself pegged for a badass so I guess I'd better start flaming, insulting and doing more anonymous stuff. Hmmm.... who should I hit first?

12:13 PM  
Blogger BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

I am 72 percent pure. Dammit I knew I should be writing more about my pubes! ;)

I knew I'd be fairly innocent as my mom reads my blog daily. Although she's been fairly receptive to my writing about my boobs.

12:34 PM  
Anonymous Redneck Mommy said...

I am 32% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain. My badness is 68%.

Apparently, I'm an absolutetly rotten mommyblogger - in the home stretch of badness.

I won't rest until I my badness level rises to 90%.

Now I must go write about poop and pubes while badmouthing my spouse.

Just another day on my blog.

1:10 PM  
Anonymous Much More Than A Mom said...

64.0% pure (36.0% corrupt)

I've always wanted to be pure...

Finally!

1:24 PM  
Blogger Just little ol'me said...

You answered "yes" to 4 of 25 questions, making you 84.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (16.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt); that is, you are 84.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain (your Badness is 16.0%).
According to the scoring guide, your Bad Mommyblogger experience level is: Hell, you ain't no Mommyblogger...let alone a Bad one.

just about what I thought as a newbie, lol

1:41 PM  
Anonymous rachel said...

gosh, my purity test scores (the other kind) were never this bad. I've got a 40% bad, 60% pure rate on this one. :P I WANT to go to BlogHer, though - maybe that will help get me under 50%. ;)

4:13 PM  
Blogger Bon said...

only 44% bad...damn near intact. i'll have to start blogging about my inlaws pubes soon.

still, great to see ye olde purity test in a new incarnation!

kinda depressing to discover how pure i've become in my old age, though. :)

4:58 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

Hmmm...68% pure, only 32% corrumpt. Hmmm...

5:01 PM  
Blogger Lindyloo said...

Your Bad Mommyblogger Purity Test Results
You answered "yes" to 5 of 25 questions, making you 80.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (20.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt); that is, you are 80.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain (your Badness is 20.0%).
According to the scoring guide, your Bad Mommyblogger experience level is: Quite the neophyte, aren't you? Lots of Badness to go, my friend.

How sad am I!!!

5:05 PM  
Blogger PunditMom said...

68% pure! I have my work cut out for me at BlogHer '07!

5:08 PM  
Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

44% bad. Clearly, I need to work on that!

5:09 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

JUlie, this is so freaking clever! Uh... I mean fucking. Fucking clever. There, that's one more question for me.

I answered yes to 13 making me 48.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (52.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt)

Did anyone get all of them? Kristen maybe?

5:27 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

56% badness. If my husband didn't read, I could blog more of his unsavory tidbits. Or maybe I just need to swear more.

5:38 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

44% Bad -- "A Pretty Darn Awful Mommyblogger, that's you. But nowhere near Bad."

Thank goodness. I have a reputation to uphold. ;-)

5:56 PM  
Blogger Kyla said...

16% bad? I'm a wuss.

5:59 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

That was fun! But I think I have to work on my badness. I'm just not bad enough for my liking.

6:40 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

20% bad -" Bad Mommyblogger experience level is: Quite the neophyte, aren't you? Lots of Badness to go, my friend."

And I had to go look up the word neophyte.

Hey, I'm new to this blogging business, what can I say ;)

6:53 PM  
Blogger Lizzy said...

56% bad, thankyouverymuch!

and definitely christian slater. did he drunkenly "slap" your arse on the sidewalk of new york city? :-)

that was fun?

7:05 PM  
Blogger gingajoy said...

it appears I have TONS of sinning left to do. I will proceed this week--on THIS blog. hehehe

I am a neophyte! Let the inlaws and husband bashing BEGIN!

(fun, julie!)

7:12 PM  
Blogger Magpie said...

80.0% pure: Quite the neophyte. I guess I'm too nice?

8:13 PM  
Blogger Chas said...

I'm 84% Pure...it says I'm not mommyblogger...but I know I am :).

9:38 PM  
Blogger crazymumma said...

24%

Guess I'm not the badass i thought i ws.


sigh.


many miles to go before I sleep.

9:57 PM  
Blogger Poppy said...

76% pure here.

*adjusts halo*

hee

10:12 PM  
Anonymous Leah said...

Miss-goody-two-clicks at 72%. A may think I am raising kane, but apparently I am not.

11:54 PM  
Blogger Gwen said...

Well here are my results:

You answered "yes" to 6 of 25 questions, making you 76.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (24.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt); that is, you are 76.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain (your Badness is 24.0%).
According to the scoring guide, your Bad Mommyblogger experience level is: Quite the neophyte, aren't you? Lots of Badness to go, my friend.

And I could agree, but it leaves the question, if you blog about your step-mother and not your in-laws does it count for badness? I also blog about baby crack,but I guess that isn't the same thing. Just wait I will start flaming the relatives soon. :)

12:19 AM  
Blogger Reesh said...

32% bad - which isn't all that bad I suppose. I know I'm not really bad in a "cool" way - and I'm okay with that. So 32% bad is awesome dude!

12:44 AM  
Blogger TSM-terrifically superiorily mediocre said...

56% pure? Who am I kidding?

2:22 AM  
Blogger TSM-terrifically superiorily mediocre said...

And the only reason I don't say "fuck" is because there might be people from church reading it.

2:22 AM  
Blogger Jodi said...

You answered "yes" to 4 of 25 questions, making you 84.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (16.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt); that is, you are 84.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain (your Badness is 16.0%).
According to the scoring guide, your Bad Mommyblogger experience level is: Hell, you ain't no Mommyblogger...let alone a Bad one.

I'm not sure if I should be proud or dissapointed. I clearly have some more blogging to do.

8:34 AM  
Blogger Robbin said...

Only 28% Badness. Practically virginal. I was a good-two-shoes in high school, too.

10:57 AM  
Anonymous Colleen said...

Only 36% badness. Guess I'm making up for all that shit I did in high school. My poor mother! I'm sure my daughter will dish it all back to me. In SPADES.

4:46 PM  
Blogger Damselfly said...

Only 32% bad! That means I'm not half bad! Har!

Actually, if your spouse *doesn't* read your blog, doesn't that make you more bad. e.g., he doesn't even know that you blog?

10:04 PM  
Blogger ewe are here said...

80% pure.... typical ... sigh.

;-)

8:04 AM  
Blogger Mayberry said...

60% pure - I'm surprised it's that low! Big nerd over here!

2:42 PM  
Blogger domestika said...

Practically a virgin (72% of one anyway) - sorry, dears, I can't possibly take the time to leave a thoughtful and interesting comment - must rush off and figure out how to bring up (down?) that score without (a) doing a convention, or (b) emailing my url to an ex or twelve...

2:57 PM  
Blogger Girl con Queso said...

32% bad. I'm so freaking pure. Gag.

12:11 AM  
Blogger tracey said...

I am 78% pure and proud of it. Kind of. And I had to look up the word neophyte so does that also make me 78% dumb? Crap.

1:14 AM  
Blogger Ruth Dynamite said...

Let it be known that Ruth Dynamite is pure as the driven snow. (7/25)

So bad she appears good.

9:32 AM  
Anonymous blackbeltmama said...

32%- a long way to go indeed.

9:08 PM  
Blogger Vikki said...

I'm a lesbo mommyblogger and 64% pure. Tell that to Focus on the Family.

10:26 AM  
Blogger Angelika said...

88.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure.

I don't really consider myself a "Mommy Blogger". I just happen to be a mom.

And I don't have any in-laws, thank God. LMAO!

3:44 PM  
Blogger Kind of Crunchy Mama said...

80% pure. I've a long way to go :-D

11:22 AM  

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