Her Bad Mother

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Sunshine, On A Cloudy Day

Update on Zachary below.

This is going to sound trite, but I'm going to say it anyway: sometimes, on even the darkest day, a little bit of sunshine bursts through a gap in the clouds and that streak of light - even if it does not have the power to warm cold bones and frigid skin - reminds you that there's blue sky up there somewhere, above and behind and beyond the dark. The smiles of my children - I warned you about the trite - are such bursts of light.

So is this:

Hi Catherine (& well wishers),

I kept up w/ your blog and every single one of your comments on my Beaner and I cannot thank you enough for posting my story and helping me out even though I know that you are going through a lot and I am so sorry if I put you in a position. I say this because I know the hurt you are going through now… but what you did is life changing for me and my kids and I will forever be grateful.

On Friday night I was able to get visitation w/ my two older kids for the weekend. It was the first time I’d been w/ them for more than 2 hours since Beaner was born. It was a great visit and they just adored her. I had originally told them when I was making the adoption plan that Beaner was going to live w/ a family that couldn’t have babies. I thought that was the only way for them to understand…I can honestly say it was a very hard weekend w/ all 3 of them, but I wouldn’t have had any different. We were all finally together, our family…My Family. How could I give her up and take her away from her big brother and sister who were lying nuzzled right next to her giving her so many kisses? Would they ever forgive me for taking her away from them, would she for giving her up? Believe me, there was a moment where all 4 of us were crying at the same time… I know its going to be hard, but you know I want to do it, I have to do it for them…

Everyone one that left a comment, sent prayers and thoughts my way will always be in my thoughts and prayers, as I will be forever grateful.. They gave me A LOT of advice and I read and processed every single one of them over and over…Thank you for sharing personal stories, I know how hard that is and was for some.. I wasn’t strong enough on my own to not get help and opinions from others. Right now I’m taking the adoptive parents backing out, your blog entry about your brother and I’m taking them as a sign…a sign that things are right now because they are supposed to be, that I will learn and grow and put this behind me as a very hard and confusing part of my life…

I can honestly say that this time last week it was at any moment that I was going to sign the adoption papers. I drove by the agency 8 times and visited my caseworker once, but there was not one moment that I could actually make the pen move on the paper…I couldn’t sign…So I’ll take that as another sign…

So, it's final, a decision is made….I’m keeping my Beaner, she will grow up w/ her big sister (2yrs) Itty Bitty who will lovingly teach her everything she knows…and her big brother (4yrs) Lil Man who will always be there for her and protect her as much as he can… He was such a good big brother this weekend making sure Itty Bitty was gentle w/ Beaner… I am glad to know that adoption as an option was there for me, because I do know that there would have been parents out there willing to love her and take care of her. And it would have been my decision had this mess w/ my parents not happened…but I now believe things happened for a reason… this all happened for a reason…

Things are going to be different…I know they are, its not going to happen overnight…but I will keep believing because I will have my kids…all 3 of my kids. I love them more so much. And I will never give up, I promise them that…I will do everything in my power to make sure they are provided for…I won’t be ashamed to go the welfare office and get the help that I need now to get back up on my feet…I will do this because its too late to do an adoption plan…I love her too much to let her go now...

Thank you HBM, I don’t know if you realize it… but because of you and your help, my family will be forever grateful indebted to you… My prayers and my thoughts are with you finding your brother and that your Nephew Zach will get better…he’s young, and I’m sure a fighter…

Always here,

PS Attached is a picture of Beaner, so you can meet the little one who this was all about… OH, and, well she needs a name now… I don’t know about you but Beaner C, Attorney at Law doesn’t sound right for her future… So if you wanna ask your readers for any suggestions, I would welcome it… My other kids are names begin w/ M’s, so I would like to find an M name…

I want you all to know this: the greater share of Marie's thanks is due to you, dear internets, dear friends. I corresponded with her, shared my meager thoughts, and posted her story, but you all did so much more: you shared your own stories, you shared your wisdom, you filled this virtual page with warmth and hope and love and realism and friendship and support. As you have done so often for me. As you continue to do now. For that, all the gratitude in the world is barely enough.

Now, you heard her. She needs a name for a baby girl - her baby girl - a name that begins with M...


(Zachary has not improved. The doctors still don't know why the strain of meningitis that is attacking him is attacking so aggressively and unreservedly. They think that there is probably something more than meningitis that is waging war on him, but they don't know what. Zachary continues to fight. I leave for Vancouver tomorrow, to sit with my sister at his bedside and offer all the love that I can.

If you have more prayers and good wishes to spare, I will accept them gratefully.)


Update on Beaner:

Hi Catherine,

I wanted to let you know that Little Mia Catherine is doing great! She is 8 weeks old and a great baby, ya I'm a little biased!! :) I just want to say thank you again, what you did for me was life changing... It opened new doors for me, and I am so happy w/ ALL my kids and her with me! Good news, I found a job...a bigger place to live w/ my friend that will accomodate all of us!! My brother moved down and is babysitting while I work (11pm-7am)...so everything is falling into place!! So anytime you are in NM please hit me up, I owe you a few drinks!! :) Much love Friend!!

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Blogger mommamia said...

I'm continuing to pray for your nephew and your sister and all of your family. Thank you for updating.

Marie-I'm glad you made the deceision that is right for you and your family. As for a name how about Misty or Maribet. Wishing you all the best.

1:11 PM  
Blogger Don Mills Diva said...

What a wonderful e-mail from Marie - so happy to read it.

I'm also happy to hear you're headed to Vancouver - will continue to pray for your nephew.

1:15 PM  
Blogger Gia said...

Wow! That is all I Can think to say.

Mira, Mirabel, Maddie, Matilda, Maeve, Marcella, Mara, Margot, Marina, Marnie, Mercedes, Miriam, Myra

1:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I keep checking and rechecking your blog to find out about Zachary, and I had such hopes with the title today. But he is alive. Where there's life, there is hope.

Beaner is adorable, Marie!

Names - Melanie, Marcia, Melissa, Marnie - oh, don't listen to me. Go to babynames.com and check them out there! But do let us know what you name her.

1:21 PM  
Blogger MissAnna said...

I will keep sending positive thoughts your way & hope that soon, everyone & everything in your life will heal.

(And I'm glad Marie was able to resolve everything the way she wanted)

1:22 PM  
Blogger Theresa said...

She is beautiful :) How about Mira or Maia?

1:23 PM  
Blogger ChurchPunkMom said...

What a gorgeous baby. :)

How about Mercy, or Mercia or Mercedes - all meaning 'compassion, mercy'.

HBM: continuing to pray for Zachary..

1:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear that Zachary has not improved. I will continue to send good thoughts your way and pray that things improve soon. I'm sure having you beside her will help your sister and I hope knowing that there are so many people who care and are thinking of them will help lift her spirits even a little.

For Marie: Thank you for the update and I'm really happy that you made a decision and seem more at peace. Your beaner is just the cutest thing ever! As far as names, I really like "Melody." I won't say why since it is beyond corny :) but I hope you'll give an update when you decide on a name. Best of luck to you and your wonderful children.

1:29 PM  
Blogger Ariel said...

I've always loved the names Melisande and Moira.

Prayers for you family HBM :)

1:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


1:34 PM  
Blogger Kate said...

Millie, Marcie

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For HBM... All of our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I wish I could help in some way.

For Marie... I'm partial to Madeleine...specifically Madeleine Elaine. It's my oldest little girl's name, and was my grandmother's name. It means strength, or tower of strength. It's good for a girl to have a strong name.

1:36 PM  
Blogger Fiesty Charlie said...

Origin: Italian
Meaning: Mine, My

Just my 2 cents....

HBM- Can I send you some canvas strips? I would love to put some good prayers on the canvas for you and your entire family, including your mom and soon to be found brother.

If you could also pass some on to Marie, for the same reasons.

Just go to my page and it will explain it.

Peace in your hearts and many prayers your way...

1:41 PM  
Blogger Niksmom said...

Continuing to pray for Zachary and his family (yours, too!). What a marvelous email from Marie! Wow.

How about Milagro (Spanish for Miracle)? She's beautiful.

1:42 PM  
Blogger Niksmom said...

Continuing to pray for Zachary and his family (yours, too!). What a marvelous email from Marie! Wow.

How about Milagro (Spanish for Miracle)? She's beautiful.

1:42 PM  
Blogger Amelia Sprout said...

Mina Beansprout

Safe travels, I hope they find the issue soon.

1:42 PM  
Blogger Petunia Face said...

I am so sorry that Zachary has not improved--that breaks my heart. I will do my version of praying for your family...

As for M names: I love it that Mia means MINE. So fitting.

1:43 PM  
Blogger ML said...

Maris, Mallory, or Melody.

Safe journeys.

1:47 PM  
Blogger Lara said...

The beauty in this post just spills from my eyes. That Marie was able to feel our support and make a choice that was right for her and her family completely reinforces the goodness - and necessity - of community. I'm praying for Zachary and hoping his news is yet another burst of sunshine for you and your family.

1:56 PM  
Blogger Karen Lew said...

I'd like to second, er third, Mia. Very fitting and a lovely name.

I'm a devoted reader of Swistle: Baby Names (http://swistlebabynames.blogspot.com/) in fact, I'm going to email her a link to this story.

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mabelle, Macey, or Maelee which means "goddess of growth" which is very relevant.

Of course, there's always "Megan." But I could be partial.


Sorry to hear about Zachary. The whole internet is wishing/hoping/praying for him.

2:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

More prayers today for Zachary. I cannot imagine what your sister is going through. I pray that they can fight this.

I am so happy for Marie. I know the road is long and hard, but you can do it. Mothers are by nature strong people and you can do this. I'm not sure what state you are in, but I am willing to help you work the "system" if you need help. I've been in this field for 8 years and know my way around. My e-mail is storybooklori@gmail.com. Feel free to contact me Marie.

As for a name, how about Mandy (meaning She who must be loved), Mona (little noble one), Maybel (loveable), Milena (gracious).

2:00 PM  
Blogger Jenny Grace said...

I've always thought Maya was a nice name. Or Malia. Or Morgan.

I can't comment on the other parts of this post because they make me too sad, but my thoughts are with you.

2:04 PM  
Blogger Michelle W said...

To Marie, I'd have to vote for Mia. It means mine. Beaner is nothing now if not yours at last, so it seems appropriate! Though I am partial to Michelle. :) I am filled with so much relief and joy for your decision. You have a whole world of help available to you if you should need it.

Safe journey. Prayers. Hugs.

2:05 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

This is going to sound weird, but I've always loved the Catalan name Montserrat (Montse, for short) - it's a mountain outside Barcelona, and a common name for Catalan girls.

Also love Madeleine, and Mia (Emilia refers to herself as Mia; my mother calls her Millie, another pretty M name)

2:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My prayers and thoughts go out for Zach.

Marie: I like Mia as well. And for a middle name, how about Catherine, after HBM?

2:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you have done a good thing HBM. I wish you luck in your travels tomorrow. I don't imagine the plane will fly fast enough to suit anyone.

2:13 PM  
Blogger KristySearching said...

I will be praying for your family and especially for Zachary.


2:19 PM  
Blogger Listen Up, MoFos! said...

Marla. She is beautiful, so very glad she'll be able to grow up with her brother and sister. If you need anything, like baby clothes, don't hesitate to ask, I have a 21 month old daughter and she outgrows them fairly quickly, nothing fancy but everything's clean. My email is listenupmofos@gmail.com

Catherine, I think the best place you could possibly be right now would be with your sister and nephews. Much love to you and them.

2:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Totally random shot in the dark, but just a thought given that your other nephew has a definite diagnosis. Have they looked at any mitochondrial or metabolic issues? From my reflux board, I follow a couple of CB sites for kids with mito and a simple infection turns into something a lot more taxing on the system. There is a Dr. K in Texas who would be someone to consult. Thinking of Zachary and all my prayers for him! Safe travels!

2:26 PM  
Blogger Diane said...

I also have girl clothes (18 mos and up) and bottles if you need any of those. My e-mail is themommydiaries@gmail.com

Good luck. How about Miracle. Mira for short.

2:27 PM  
Blogger The Mrs. said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

As for M names - Morgan or Madison?

2:31 PM  
Blogger Jenifer said...

Safe travels C, and more thoughts and prayers for your nephew and family.

Great news about Marie. How about Melina or Maribel.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Praying for Zachary!

As for M names. Morganne, Melody, Mercy, Mia,

2:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a wonderful email from Marie! And how blessed she is to have a healthy new "beaner". I know her decision was difficult, and I pray that, though difficult, she'll realize the reward and hope of this new life.
My vote would be for Mia Rose (southerners name twice yanno).

I continue to pray for Zachary and that God will keep him in his loving care.

2:36 PM  
Blogger Julie Marsh said...

Marie, wishing you and your little family much love and happiness.

C, wishing you safe and speedy travels to Vancouver, and great strength to you, your sister, and Zachary. You are always on my mind.

2:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prayers and blessings to you and yours. Hoping you have safe travels and uplifting news about your precious nephew. With love Nance in Texas

2:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My daughter's name is Madeleine Rose and we call her Madi Rose. It fits my personal naming criteria, which is that a name has to work for a little girl AND an old lady. Nobody wants to see a baby Agnes Gertrude or a Granny Brandy Amber...

2:39 PM  
Blogger Britt said...

marie~ i am so glad you have made a decision that you are happy with and you can all be a family. make me cry!! i know you will all be very hapy together.
my baby (3 now!) is an "m." mackenzie to be exact. i also love mya, mia, and mira. molly, madison, and madelyn are so good ones too. i can't wait to hear an update from your fam! congrats on your beautiful baby girl. as a reader of signs from the universe myself, i think you are doing the best for all of you.

catherine, safe travels. i'm sorry to hear zachary hasn't imroved thus far but i continue to keep him in my thoughts and prayers and hope for the best possible outcome. ((((BIG FAT CYBER HUGS!!!!!!)))

2:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will be away from my computer this weekend, but I will be thinking of you and praying for Zachary. I am so glad that you are going there. I am sure they need you just as much as you need to be there.

2:50 PM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

Thinking of you, Catherine and your sister and your nephews and continue to keep us posted. Marie -- your baby is gorgeous. Just beautiful. And names? I love Mirabelle.

2:52 PM  
Blogger Karla Zamora, Digital Analyst said...

C, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Marie, wishing all the best with your family. I think you will have a tough time choosing from all the beautiful names suggested :)

2:53 PM  
Blogger Cameron said...

Much prayers heading your way for Zachary. Praying that he has some relief soon.

Madison Grace



2:53 PM  
Blogger Issa said...

I'm so glad to hear an update on Marie and that she made the right decision for her and her kids. She's got a beautiful little beaner.

Names: Well Melissa is mine and it's served me well...but the one that came to me was Meredith, as she looks like a fighter and a fighter needs a strong solid name. Good luck Marie, let us know what you name her in the end. You made a brave choice and I hope you find your way.

HBM- My prayers are with Zachary. I hope they figure out how to make him better soon.

2:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HBM - My thoughts & prayers are with your and your family during this trying time. Stay positive!

Thank you for sharing the letter from Marie. How about Mindy for the baby's name? Or Michele? Or Marina?

Wishing you all the best to come!

2:55 PM  
Blogger TheMama said...

I'm sending you every good thought I have, and I hope that improvement is just moments away.

Beaner is beautiful. I only have one name suggestion. It's the name we've set aside for the possiblility of a girl.

Molly: From the Gaelic Maili which is a pet form of Mary, from way back when, it was not permissable to name your child directly after Mary, the mother of Jesus.

2:56 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

My contribution from Ireland is Moira or Moyra is the alternative spelling.

So wonderful the family is all together, and I pray they get all the help and support they need.

More prayers for your nephew too from Ireland.

3:04 PM  
Blogger S said...

i've always loved the name meredith.

will be thinking of you, C., and Zach, and your sister...and expect to hear any moment now that Zach has turned the corner.


3:06 PM  
Blogger AnnetteK said...

HBM, I hope all the good you've done here in helping Marie comes back to you in spades. Sending you all my best wishes for your nephew.

3:07 PM  
Blogger Robbin said...

What a beautiful baby!

For names, what about Mia? It means, simply, "Mine".

3:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prayers and positive thoughts to you, your sister and Zachary.

I will be thinking of you all this weekend.

3:14 PM  
Blogger Manic Mommy said...

So glad you will be with your sister. I pray it will lighten her load and that Zach will feel your presence.

Marie: Meredith is a strong, beautiful name. It was on my 'girl' list.

3:25 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

I will keep ALL of you, Zachary, your sister, you, your children, Marie, and her children in my thoughts and prayers. Oh, how I wish life was easier for you all.

3:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, my hopes go out to everyone. Pain is just such a crappy part of life, especially when it happens to young people.

To Marie,
I'm glad you are feeling good about your decision. You sound strong. You sound like your focus is on getting your family to a good place. That is, to my mind, the essence of Motherhood. You are now Mother as Warrior, and I can think of no more empowering place to be.

What about Mercy?

3:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Marie--I'm so happy for you and your family. Good luck and Godspeed to you and that beautiful child.

My daughter's name is Meredith, and she is every bit the strong, independent child we hoped she would be when we picked the name for her.

If we were ever to have another girl, we would name her Mira, for what that's worth.

HBM--still praying for you, Zachary, your sister, and the rest of your family.

3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I pray for your nephew.
It's raining here in Vancouver and it's cold. You might want to bring your umbrella.

4:03 PM  
Blogger Brandy said...

My prayers will continue to be with your nephew.

4:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She is gorgeous! You just made my day. How about Mia or Maya?

HBM -totally praying for you, Zachary and the whole family. Blessings to you all and safe travels.

4:11 PM  
Blogger Janet said...

I have been thinking about your nephew and hoping, wishing for the very best outcome.

Marie: thanks for sharing your story. I wish you and your beautiful family the best. As for M. names, I always liked Maya.

4:11 PM  
Blogger karrie said...

Marie:When my son Max was in utero, several ultrasounds indicated that he was a girl. HA! He had other plans. If he had been born a girl, his name would have been Maren, which is Danish and means "of the sea." (Pronounced like Karen.)

HBM: Sorry to read that your nephew has not improved.

4:16 PM  
Blogger T with Honey said...

She is a beautiful baby girl and I love the suggestion to name her Mia because it mean "Mine". I also think she looks like a Monica which means adviser or counselor.

I'll be keeping Zachary in my prayers.

4:18 PM  
Blogger Amelia said...

I have a couple of suggestions. Monroe is a great name, it's timeless. I also think Mia is beautiful, and appropriate. Mirabelle is pretty as well. Go with something classic.

HBM - Miracles happen. Zachary is continually in our thoughts.

4:25 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

my thoughts and prayers are with you and Zachery. I feel so much for your sister and all she has been through. Its not right but I believe that miracles happen every day and why not to your family? =)

as for Beaner's name, Maya =)

Best wishes all around!

4:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Marie - I like Mary, Meredith, and Mia. Best wishes to your little family.

Catherine - I continue to pray for your family. I hope you have a safe trip and that some good news awaits you when you arrive. Godspeed.

4:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys are great, thank you, thank you...

Well I have Beaner here and I've looked at her and called her every one of the suggested names... She is soooo a Mia! She's mine!!

So now either Mia Catherine or Mia Montserrat? Its up to you HBM...you pick...

I really can't thank you all enough...especially HBM.


4:55 PM  
Blogger María said...

Marie - I love Madeline, Maleah [means unique little girl, beautiful young woman], and especially Maribel.

Catherine - you have all the positive vibes I can muster up coming towards your family.

4:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been checking in regularly and sending you good wishes and as much hope and love as I can muster for your sweet nephew. Please, please, please let him be okay.
Safe journey,

5:38 PM  
Blogger K said...

I like Maisey. It's as sweet as she is. :o)

6:08 PM  
Blogger flutter said...


because by the mercy of your grace, she will grow with a mother that adores her.

6:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the idea of her middle name being Catherine. I think it is entirely appropriate. Mia is a wonderful name, and if it can't be Mary...well, you know...

Catherine, we are still praying for your nephew.

6:31 PM  
Blogger Melanie D. said...

Such a happy-sad post. Thanks for the update on Beaner, I'm glad that she'll soon have a name. I vote for Melanie (totally selfish, being my name and all). But also love the name Muriel.

About your nephew. I am so, so, so very sad for you and your family.

6:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Catherine, I'm so sorry that Zachary is not getting better. I'm praying. Thinking good, fighting thoughts for him.

Marie, your daughter is BEAUTIFUL. Madeleine? Maisie (cuter, I think than the -ey ending? Matilda? Matilda always brings me back to the Roald Dahl books - lovely, smart, spunky, strong.

Wishing you all the best. For you and your 3 children.

6:40 PM  
Blogger Jess said...

What a beautiful girl!

Catherine, Wishing you hope, and best wishes for Z and family. I hope you walk into that hospital and find Zack sitting up, rubbing his eyes and chirping 'Auntie C!'


7:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for Zachary, and strength for you and your sister.

Suggestions for M names: Madison, Madeline, Maddie, and MiaBella (means "my beautiful one" in Italian). Good luck!

7:07 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

I like Mercy and Mia...the meaning behind them. Best of luck to you Marie!

Still praying for Zachary!

7:19 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Marie, friend, I will be honored with whatever you choose. xo

8:07 PM  
Blogger Alli Worthington said...

Praying for Zachary. Safe travels.

Tears for sweet Marie & baby.

Maybe, um, Catherine?

Hey, it's a great name.

Just sayin...

8:17 PM  
Blogger Julianna said...

Marielle, Madeleine or Mira

8:18 PM  
Blogger gmoney said...

Mia is such a beautiful and fitting name. I'm glad you were able to come to a decision that gives you peace.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


8:24 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Stick with something classic and strong and beautiful - she's going to be a fighter.

Miriam (how cute is Mimi?)

8:25 PM  
Blogger Amy Watson said...

I was especially touched by your story, as I have a son and daughter, and a very full life, and was shocked and saddened and terrified when I learned I was pregnant with my third. How on earth would we bring another PERSON into our lives??? Now he is here, and he is perfect-- our "unexpected blessing" turned out to be such an amazing gift.

as for girl names, I'm partial to Mariah. :)

wishing you all the best!

8:37 PM  
Blogger Major Bedhead said...

Mia Catherine is a lovely name. She is a gorgeous baby and I'm so glad that you've reached a decision!

Catherine - my thoughts are with you and your family. Healthy, healing vibes to Zachary.

8:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*tears streaming down face* I am so happy for Marie...

I vote for Maddie, Madeline, Maya or Myrabella.

HBM -- Your nephew and family are in my thoughts... So glad you're able to be by your sisters side.

8:43 PM  
Blogger Marlo said...

Madeleine is my all time favorite M name. Melody is also very pretty.

Praying for you Zachary.. praying as hard as I can.

8:46 PM  
Blogger idiot said...

Megan or Mia get my vote.

I'm so thrilled for you Marie that you came to a decision.

God bless you and all your children.

9:03 PM  
Blogger Mommato2 said...

Marie....your baby M is a darling girl.

HBM...sending so may prayers and so much love to your family and your dear nephew. Your sister will be glad to have you there to support her. Please keep us updated when you can.


9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Margot, Maeve or Marisol.

9:11 PM  
Blogger idiot said...

and HBM I JUST read about Zachary and my heart aches. I am sending up all kinds of prayers and good thoughts for you all.

9:12 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

What an amazing story. The outpouring of support from the internet community is inspiring to help this woman with such a difficult choice to make. She's a beautiful baby. I love the name Madelyn.

I will keep Zachary and your family in my prayers. I know your sister will be comforted by your presence.

9:15 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

Marie, best wishes to you and your family. I'm glad you've found the answer to your dilemma.

Catherine, I've sent you my phone numbers while you're here in VAncouver. Don't hesitate to call, for whatever you might need.

9:15 PM  
Blogger Jezer said...

Praying for a swift and full healing of Zachary.

Marie, while Montserrat is perhaps my most favorite name EVER, Catherine is a beautiful and fitting choice.

9:46 PM  
Blogger Kate said...

Prayers, thoughts, good wishes.. whatever will help is coming your way.

9:49 PM  
Blogger Anissa Mayhew said...

Praying faithfully for your whole family.

Maranda means "she who must be loved" and I think that would fit perfectly for her. Because who couldn't love that little one.

9:59 PM  
Blogger Karen MEG said...

That's a wonderful update; I came so close to calling my daughter Morgan, I still really love that name.

Praying for Zachary, and so glad that you can get there soon and be with your sister through this.

10:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

catherine i'm so glad that you are able to go to van to be with your sis....i will continue to pray for zachary.....maria beaner is a precious little girl and i would name her MIRACLE if i was in your shoes. God bless you and i'm glad that you have been able to make your decision and our willing to get the help you'll need.

10:19 PM  
Blogger Psyche said...

Marie, you're a strong woman and a loving mother. You - and your children - will do well. I truly believe you will.

I also have baby girl clothes, formula, breastfeeding items, and other lovely unused newborn things that my little guy has outgrown. I'd be more than happy to send anything you could use. In fact, you'd be doing me a favor by helping clean out my closets. ;-) My e-mail is earthymotherr@yahoo.com (don't forget the extra r!). I hope I'll hear from you.

- E

10:22 PM  
Blogger Stimey said...

I mostly lurk here, but I think you need some delurked good wishes. I am sending all my love and good vibes to you and Zachary. I hope with all of my heart that he recovers soon. Hugs.

10:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

C. Prayers for Zachary. And carrots left out for the carrot-god, just in case.

Marie, So proud of you. Prayers for you and yours. Maddox Bean. I work at a daycare and one of the MOST adorable children there is a curly haired girl named Maddox. We call her "Maddie Bear". Blessings for you...

Martie of


PS: Martie is shortened version of Martice. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

11:02 PM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

I like Margot (also spelled Margaux) or Mariel.

And HBM, good luck on your trip and I hope beyond hoping that everything turns out sunnier than even the most optimistic doctor can envision.

11:16 PM  
Blogger tallulah said...

ALL of you are in my thoughts. So much pain and beauty to process.

My all time favorite name starts with an M........Mazzy.

11:22 PM  
Blogger Someone Being Me said...

I am so glad you were able to make the right decision for your family. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I guarantee there are a dozen organizations in your area that can help you stay on your feet.

As for name I love Mia which means My. Or Michelle which means gift from God. Maya means princess.

12:03 AM  
Blogger Mom O Matic said...

Zachary's absolutely in my prayer's tonight. As are you all. Sitting with your sister and Zachary will be such a comfort. Try and visualize Zachary as well and happy as much as you can. Take care.

12:11 AM  
Blogger Mom O Matic said...

And regarding Beaner. I was always taught, and always believed, that my birth mother giving me up was an enormous gift on her part. A completely unselfish act, wanting her baby to have what she couldn't give.

As beaner gets older, just try and keep telling that same story. How her family loved her so very much that they were willing to do anything to give her an amazing life. And how lucky they were that it ended up being with them.


12:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Agree with the many who suggesting Mia... it's a lovely, meaningful name for your precious girl. As an adoptee, albeit with a very loving adoptive mother, your daughter will be blessed by your decision. Also, the name Michelle is pretty great, but I'm biased, since it's my middle name.

Catherine, my thoughts are with you and your family, best as always to everyone on your end.

12:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about Makenzie for a girl's name? My daughter's name is Makenzie Amanda.....

12:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My fave "M" names for girls are; Marissa, Maggie, Mariel (or Marielle), Makenna (Mackenna), Marlee, and Mia. How wonderful that you have been blessed with the peace of your decision to keep your Little Beaner (funny, but that's what I called both of my babies while I carried them!! :)

I'm sure that I speak for a huge number of Mommybloggers, and the internet community at large, when I say that we send prayers and well-wishes your way....and to all three of your babies!

Kiss those babies for us...and sniff that sweet newborn head...and her toes...**sigh**...those piggies really do start to stink by the time they reach the ripe old age of four...but that's another story for another blog....

{{HUGS}} to all!
aka MO Mom-bo

12:44 AM  
Blogger KJ said...

How about Mia? It means, "Mine."
Thanks for posting Marie's email. Marie, thanks for writing it. I was so happy to hear that you are keeping her and are going to do what you need to do to make it all work out. Tell that baby girl that you love her and are going to keep her, too.

My thoughts, prayers, intention, and every ounce of good voodoo I can muster up is with Zachary and your family.

1:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I hear your story, your words, that paint the picture of your child, your children, your family, I think about these names:
Mataya, means gift from God.
Megan, the pearl, the treasure, that grew from the seed of your love, protected by the shell of your family, adding beauty and gentleness to your family.
Melody, an aura of joy.
Miranda, she who must be admired.

2:32 AM  
Blogger mae said...

i vote for "molly" or "mae" (biased what?)

i'll keep saying prayers for zachary...

2:42 AM  
Blogger carrie said...

I love the name Maya - for Maya Angelou. And what better role model for a mother facing a struggle and making it through the dark than her? She is phenomenal, woman - and so are you Marie. You can do it.

I'll keep you HBM, and your whole family, close to my heart throughout the weekend.

3:21 AM  
Blogger Bianka said...

Here are some names I think might be nice for your Beaner.. I got them from babynamesworld.com
Mabelle = My beautiful one.
Manda/Mandy/Miranda = She who must be loved.
Manalani = Divine power.. as in, some divine power brought you to this blog!
And my very favorite.. Madeline. It's my own peanut's name. :)
Just an extra one for good measure, even though it doesn't start with M... Fabiana actually means "a bean"! And you could call her Fay for short! Or it could be a good middle name!
Happy name choosing!

3:51 AM  
Blogger Lizarita said...

She's gorgeous.
Maribelle is my pick for a name. She looks like a "Belle" and Marie+Belle...you get the point.

All my best to your nephew. I hope the doctors can find the source of his illness and that they can fix it with ease. Your family is in my thoughts.


5:13 AM  
Blogger flickrlovr said...

I was going to suggest Mirabella for little Beaner's name. You've got a lot of suggestions up there, Marie! Good luck choosing. I'll be anxious to see what you decide. I'm sure it'll be beautiful.

Other options: Maia, Morgan, Madison, Mariah, McKinley, Maeve, Maxie, Madeline. I bet some of those have been suggested already, so sorry to repeat!

I like http://www.nymbler.com for baby names, so try that if you get stuck. Best wishes.

And HBM-still praying for sweet Zach. Praying HARD. He's in my thoughts.

5:59 AM  
Blogger The Captain's Wife said...

I will send all of my positive thoughts and healing vibes your lovely Zachary's way until he beats this!

Hugs to you and your sister...

6:26 AM  
Blogger J from Ireland said...

I will continue to pray for Zachary. Lovely news about Marie, she seems so happy with her decision. Best wishes to you all.

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


10:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mandy means loveable. Your baby has already demonstrated that. She is loveable. She is loved by you, she is loved by her siblings. She loves you. She loves her siblings.

11:09 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

MATILDA means mighty battler
MILLIE means labour of strength
MEGAN a fine pearl

or how about MIRA...short for miracle.

no matter what her name, she is one blessed little gift. This story reminds me of how through struggle, there is always great love and miraculous discoveries. As a friend just reassured me, "Take Gods gifts when they come. They are wrapped in mysterious ways."

11:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:15 AM  
Blogger Kacey said...

Please read the email I sent you about Guillain-Barre Syndrome. What you described sounds so very similar.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Whirlwind said...

Zachary is still in our thoughts and prayers.

As for names - I think she looks like a Madeline. There's always Madison or Mackenzie.

11:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HBM, I'm praying for you and your sister and especially for Zachary.

Marie: I love the name Maeve. Or Marlin.

- j (fishinginabucket.blogspot.com)

12:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


HMB- you and your entire family are my prayers.

12:40 PM  
Blogger TheFunkyFeline said...

We will pray for Zachary and for Marie..
What about naming her Mercy? It means 'compassion' and that seems appropriate in so many ways...

2:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a hideously cruel thing to do to the adoptive parents.

I hope you can live with yourself.


2:56 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

1. Lamont is an idiot.
2. Praying on for Zachary.
3. Marie, I hope this isn't obnoxious of me, I don't mean to offend, and I don't know how you feel about the Bible, but Mt. Mariah is the name of the place Abraham took his son Isaac to sacrifice him to God. Kind of horrible story at first, but it is about an unwavering faith despite the difficult circumstance, and Abraham ended up keeping Isaac. Mariah seems a fitting name to me.

3:53 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Lamont - not that it necessarily matters - the choice always falls to the birth mother/first mother - but the adoptive family backed out (that was one of the things that Marie took to be a 'sign').

What a cruel thing to do, to inject negativity into such a happy story. You harshed everyone's mellow, not least my (tenuous) own.

4:19 PM  
Blogger BabyonBored said...

Catherine, I'm so so sorry for everything your sister (and you) are going through. I'm praying for Zach. I'm glad you're going to be with your sister. She needs you.

We'll be here waiting.

7:16 PM  
Blogger BabyonBored said...

Catherine, I'm so so sorry for everything your sister (and you) are going through. I'm praying for Zach. I'm glad you're going to be with your sister. She needs you.

We'll be here waiting.

7:16 PM  
Blogger BabyonBored said...

Catherine, I'm so so sorry for everything your sister (and you) are going through. I'm praying for Zach. I'm glad you're going to be with your sister. She needs you.

We'll be here waiting.

7:16 PM  
Blogger Dani said...

My best girls M name is Matisse.

All the positive healing energy I can muster is flying Zachary's way. I hope he heals well and soon.

7:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Marie - I think you made the right decision. You don't want to live a life of regret. My friend placed her child for all the right reasons but not a day goes by that she doesn't question her decision. It has been very, very difficult for her. I vote for Molly, Miranda or Mia and Catherine as the second name.
Catherine, prayers and love for Zachary. I know a young man who also had meningitis who was in ICU for a month and not expected to live. He is now totally fine and just had a baby girl. Be strong for your sister's sake. He will pull through this.

8:04 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

My sisters name is Maleah and I think it's beautiful.

8:28 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

i wish i had read the comments before posting.
Mia Catherine, its perfect.

8:33 PM  
Blogger Kyla said...

My heart is leaking out my eyeballs now.

I'm happy for you Marie.

And my healthiest and strongest thoughts are following you to Vancouver, Catherine.

8:56 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

I'll be thinking of you all. As we have this special weekend with an extra day here in the States, I'll imagine it's one extra day for Zachary to lift himself high enough to stomp the ever loving crap out of this virus.

11:13 AM  
Blogger Laural Dawn said...

I'm thinking and praying for Zachary.

As for names. I love the name Mylah.

12:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mia Catherine. That sounds perfect to me. And may she always be yours and close to your heart. Remind her often how much you love her and how you could never give her away.

Catherine, I will be praying for your first babylove and your entire family. God keep you all safe and well.

1:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two middle names:
Mia Catherine Montserrat, why not. It's regal, it's lilting, it's energetic, it's interesting, it's fully of love and curiosity and it's calm and peaceful all at once!

6:44 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

Huge, huge prayers for Zachary. Please keep us updated on him.

I've been following this story about the baby and am thrilled with the decision the mother made!

2:27 AM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

wow. All I can say is that I am sending thoughts your way. I'd like to send a martini, but just doesn't seem appropriate here.


7:56 AM  
Blogger steenky bee said...

I'm brand new here. I'm glad I stopped by. I wish you all the best and prayers are with you.

4:24 PM  
Blogger Barb said...

What about Maribel or RoseMarie or something to honor her mother?

Prayers for Zachary...

9:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my daughter's name is magdalene. she was born on 8/21...we chose this name because we thought it would protect her. and she is the most vigilant 11 day old I've ever seen.

2:50 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Haven't seen Margaret yet. Meaning: child of light; can be shortened to Maggie, or Meg which is less common these days but still cute (like in Little Women). Actually, Margaret Elizabeth is one of the girl names I came up with before we found out the sex of our son, and my husband really doesn't like it... so if you do, you can have it. :)
Has Molly been mentioned yet? I like that too, and Marian/Marion/Marianne. Not too common, which I'm always a fan of.

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Matilda, Marissa, Mona, Molly, Mallory, Melinda, and my personal favourite, Miranda. These are some "M" names I think are good. Good luck! Every baby deserves are great name!

12:00 PM  
Blogger Tricia said...

I'm with Anon-

Mia Catherine Montserrat

Nice strong, and a little different.

11:24 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

i like marissa, and mollyanna

7:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

maybe a bit late but i like Maris as a name for the baby


8:06 AM  

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