My Baby, By Any Other Name...
We've known Sprout's name for a long time. Naming him, in fact, was one of the easier parts of child-preparation for us. It came to us, and it felt right, and that was that. So he has a name, and we - and Wonderbaby - have been referring to him by name for a long time. Which I love, because he's already part of the family, someone we know, someone whose name is included with all of our own when we talk about the future, or when we whisper good wishes to everyone we love at bedtime. I love that Wonderbaby discusses him freely with anyone who asks - I have a baby brudder his name is xxxxxx I love him I gonna share my toys we gonna have CAKE and and and I love him and I kiss him LIKE THIS (blows kiss at mommy's belly) - as though he were already here, which he is, of course, in the most important way, in our hearts.
And I've gotten accustomed to the occasional eyebrow being raised when Wonderbaby utters his name. It's not a strange name - artists and writers and characters of fiction have had this name - but it is a little on the eccentric side, maybe. It's not a name that you hear every day. So, yes, there have been moments when an utterance of his name provokes those arched brows and a politely restrained oh isn't that an unusual name. Which doesn't bother me. It's his name, and I just know that it's perfect for him, even having not yet met him. I just know. It just is.
Still, I avoided telling my mother, because I knew she'd hate it. I knew, because she hated all the boys names that I mentioned to her when Wonderbaby was just a Wonderfetus, gender unknown. "Theodore? Theo? Oh, NO, honey, I don't like that name AT ALL. Not AT ALL." I knew that I would have to preface any announcement of his name with the caveat that she would not like it and that I wouldn't care and that she'd just have to deal, etc, etc, but still. I knew that it would be an uncomfortable conversation. I knew that there would be an awkward silence over the telephone. I knew that she would sigh deeply and maybe issue a protracted hmmmm before saying something to the effect of I don't know, Cath and I suppose that I'll have to get used to it. Which is exactly what she did, yesterday, when I told her.
I'm not crazy about it.
I knew that you wouldn't be.
I just worry... will kids make fun of him? What will you call him for short?
MOM. It's not unusual enough for him to be made fun of just because of that. There are far more unusual boys' names out there. And I don't know what we'll call him for short. It doesn't matter. What matters is that this is his name.
Well... (DEEP SIGH) I suppose that I'll have to get used to it.
Yes. Yes, you will.
What about Theodore? Didn't you want that name before? I've always liked that name...
I love my mother, I really do, and have always valued and admired her naked honesty - she is very nearly constitutionally incapable of withholding her opinion - and I had told myself that I just wouldn't care if she didn't like his name, I had told myself that I knew she wouldn't like it, that I was prepared for her to not like it. But still... there was a moment there, the briefest moment between his name falling from my lips and her reaction to that name, during which I held my breath and willed her to like it. Wished for her to like it, to recognize it as the perfect name, as his name. And so I was deflated when she reacted as I had expected. Disappointed.
Because, as I keep saying, it is his name, his perfect name, and I feel lucky to have found it, just as I felt lucky to have found Wonderbaby's perfect name. So, the larger part of me says that it does not matter what anyone else thinks: I am his mother, and, along with his father, I hold responsibility for his naming, for finding the name that is uniquely his. Only we can recognize that name. It is ours to give to him, his to take from us, his to wear, his to own. Even if he grows up to hate it - which is always a possibility - it will remain his name, his original name, the one that I will whisper in his ear the very moment that he is first placed in my arms and that I will shout from the rooftops at every opportunity thereafter.
But, but... my instructions to my mother - get used to it, you will just have to get used to it - remind me that to some extent a name really is just a name, just a word, something that we get used to, something that grows on us, something that becomes our own because of what we make of it, not because it fell from the sky of ideas like a shooting star into our mother's lap and presented itself as sacred, sacrosanct, perfect. Our boy will be our boy, regardless of his name, regardless of whether we call him Jack or John or Junior or Pilot Inspektor. He will, if our experience with Wonderbaby is anything to go by, have many names, be called many things, be referred to by many terms of endearment. He will be, no doubt, our Prince, our Pirate, our Monster, our Parakeet, our Crunch. And no matter what he is called, he will always be him.
The him that he is, though - the him that he will be - that 'him' has a name, a name that I, we, have given him, a name that we love him by, and will always love him by. His name, his very own name. It is indeed special, and it will be the first word that he hears.
What anybody else thinks of it? Doesn't matter. It's between we and him.
(A question that vexes me, though: DO I TELL THE INTERNETS? I've long wanted to stop calling Wonderbaby 'Wonderbaby' and call her by her real name. And I'd so love to share Sprout's real name. But I've become so accustomed to using pseudonyms, even as I've become less convinced of their protective effect. This, however, is another topic for another day, and something to distract me while I continue suffering through this interminable, unpredictable labor.)
Labels: her bad pregnancy, sprout
posted by Her Bad Mother @ Tuesday, May 13, 2008
130 Comments:
Well, of course I know Wonderbaby is Emilia because of the Tanner story and because I watched a video where you were interviewed. You really have me curious about Sprout's name.
45 years ago it was me, picking an odd name. If my firstborn were a girl, she would be Shannon. I know it's common now, but in 1962 it was not, and our entire family was appalled. In fact, my grandmother decided her name was Ruth and refused to admit to anything else. Told everyone the wrong name. Odd that today Ruth is the odd name and Shannon is so common.
Seriously, I know you worry about stalkers and weirdos. But they can find you anyway. The internet has photos of your house and Google is so handy. In the end it's really up to you and Her Bad Father to decide if you want the world to know Sprout's real name.
I'd love to know!!!
Family on both sides were perplexed when we named our one and only, Max, a name I dreamed about before we even started trying to get pregnant.
I knew it would be perfect for him and it is and everyone else has gotten used to it!
My MIL was a 1st grade teacher so every name we came up with she had taught a bratty booger eating child with the same name. We finally decided not to tell her the name until we handed her the baby. It was just easier that way.
With all this build up, I really hope you share the name. Curiousity is killing me.
And today I wish you luck... luck and labor :)
After I had my ultra-sound and learned we were having a little boy, I called my parents to tell them the news along with my son's name. My dad acted like a complete jerk and told me hated the name and it was horrible and awful and what was I thinking?
I will never understand this insensitivity. It's pretty hurtful, especially from a parent. Don't people get it? When you choose a name for a baby you choose it with the greatest hope and love for this little person. It's not for anyone to rain their petty opinions on it.
At one time Bob Geldof named his infant daughter Fifi Trixibelle and thought it perfectly wonderful. Maybe he still does. I hate it, but it's his kid. His choice. And his conscience when an adolescent Fifi becomes enraged after a classmate says that her name reminds him/her of a nervous French poodle. Or...a prostitute.
I harbor no such fear that you would give your child a name that would require years of therapy once he was an adult. I know you give your son his name out of love. The world is full of tired old family names that have about as much flavor as a stale piece of gum. And the Greatest Generation gave us more than our fair share of Bettys and Bills. Your mom got her chance to pick a name she likes and now it's your turn. You don't owe her grandchildren at all...let alone children with a name she likes. This is your choice. We're behind you.
we had the same problem with our firsts (twins).
This time around we didn't tell anyone the names we were even considering.
People seem to have opinions before the baby is born but after they usually just keep their mouth shut, which was fine by me!
Please oh please tell us their names!! I'm dying to know... I love to hear children's names. It makes them so much more than a cute face... it means something.
You're naming him Bob, aren't you.
I just knew it.
PS We didn't announce our names until the baby was there wearing it. It's easy to reject a name. It's hard to reject a child. Whatever it is (It's Bob, right?) he will be so very loved by all.
We waited until after the delivery of each child to come up with names, procrastinate much? We decided upon my daughter's name (because if you leave the hospital without a name it becomes a real hassle so better sooner than later) and called my parent's with the news. My mother's comment was "Really? That sounds like the name of the an upstairs chambermaid." I said goodbye quickly and we didn't speak again until I received a written apology.
Until the day she died she always referred to her by both here first and middle name, not just her first. Makes me smile every time I think about it.
I named my daughter after my deceased mother, so I got no arguments. But I KNEW going in that I wouldn't get any arguments b/c of the situation!
I'm dying to know his name, too. Had no idea what Wonderbaby's was until I read the first comment posted.
Mom-101, dude, HOW DID YOU KNOW?
After the fact, we learned that our son's name was one that my grandfather had wanted for my uncle, but my grandmother had categorically refused. I find this oddly charming; even though I adored my grandmother, she was an opinionated old bird.
i think you borrowed my mother for that conversation, clearly.
but yep, that's a familiar refrain...and in fact, it sounds almost like you picked a familiar name - if Muppets count as characters in fiction ;) - and the truth is, my mom has gotten so used to Oscar she's forgotten now that she had such a reluctant response to it when it first came up and is quite shameless about comparing all current options to its merits. sigh.
spill the names. you want to. :)
Tell us, tell us!
I never worry about using my son's name - if someone wanted to stalk us they could figure it out in about 2 minutes anyway...
Ok on naming children they will love it at times and then hate it at times. I've never been a huge fan of my middle name and now artistically I use it as my first, go figure! Quite a few people didn't like my second baby's name Griffin but he is a Grif, G, G money, G dog to me so and that is all that matters. My husbands grandparents never remember his name to remind me of their disapproval (screw em')I birth it, I name it!!! I don't use my kids names on line, just their initials I have some issues with nicknames and the expectations kids can feel come with them, stemming from my own childhood nickname. I know plenty of people who use their kids names, so just go with your gut.
I must say I am in the category where I speak in real names... I've realized that if you are going to have a crazy stalker, he is going to find you regardless of if you say your child's real name or not... but obviously it's a preference. I love unusual names! My daughter's name is Lyric and I am pregnant with my 2nd and don't know the sex yet... but the possible names are just as unusual! Names are so much fun!
With Noise, we picked his name before he was even born, and we told everyone we were going to name him Benjamin, after his great-grandfather. Then my SIL kept calling him BENJI and calling him her little puppy. Damn, I was mad.
At the same time, we were reading Roots. We loved the idea that the child was the first person to hear their name spoken out loud. So we decided that we would not tell anyone the name we had chosen (having moved away from Benji after months of barking from my SIL.) Noise would hear it first.
We did this with both kids, and it has been both a beautiful tradition and a way to avoid commentary. People just don't feel as free to criticize a name when it's already attached to a person they can see.
I wouldn't worry about what other's think, including family. If your husband and yourself LOVE the name, then that's it. Done. Finite.
My MIL hated my daughter's name and continued to ask how to spell it often after she was born. I finally wrote it down and told her to put it in her wallet for future reference.
But you know what...she got over it...our daughter fits her name....and I still love it.
Also? I was an English teacher the year I was pregnant with Greyson. I had seven students named Jennifer and three named Ryan. We wanted something different. Some of the names we used: Tucker, Atticus, Wilder. Hope no one needs therapy.
When we told my mom our first born would be Drew, if he was a boy, her reaction was, "You mean Andrew." I reassured her that, no, it would just be Drew. She paused and asked, "Got anything else?"
After that, we kept our name choices rather vague until after the baby was born.
I think of my children as Bub and Pie half the time, so I don't mind the nicknames when I blog about them. The only time it bothers me is when I'm telling an anecdote in which the children use each other's names in conversation, and I have to sub in the nickname. I always feel that much of the charm and cuteness is lost in the translation.
Nicknames are no guarantee of anonymity, but I still prefer them; I think they do provide some measure of anti-googlability.
That said, I'm dying of curiosity about your boy-name now! Can you tell us in a clever code? (How about those literary characters you mentioned?)
Everyone I told my daughter's name to? Got really quiet. I kind of understand, we named her an uncommon Hebrew name, and it's very different. Nobody said anything- except for my dad- who pointed out that her initials would be ALA. As in "Alabama". And he would call her "bama", like a f*cking DOG. And this is where I got pissed, and said I didn't like that much, and thankfully he hasn't called her that yet- she is only 16 months old.
I'm extremely curious now too.
With Scooter's given name, we got a lot of the raised eyebrows and the like before he was born, but once he was present, people had a harder time being so obvious with their horrified surprise. Those who recognize the historical reference get bonus points.
Number Two (if/when) will also get an unusual name, likely something historical again, but with a common-ish nickname. One reason for this is that after teaching for a bit, I find I can't use a name I can place with a past student. My top boy's choice was recently ruined because the nickname it suggested is the name of the most obnoxious boy on Scooter's soccer team. I've now heard that name yelled shrilly so many times that I never want to hear it again.
I love that idea growingapair! When I was researching for our wedding I came across the idea of a naming ceremony for a baby a few weeks after birth. I really liked the idea of not annoucing the baby's name until that moment--although I always thought it would be hard to keep it a secret until the ceremony!
But waiting to tell the baby his or her name first is such a good idea, and certainly would avoid a lot of the yucky commentary.
If that first commenter is correct, I have to say I love your daughter's name and I bet your son's will be just as lovely.
I'm one of the bloggers who doesn't use the kids' names, but I imagine I will reveal this baby's name in a photo or something. Maybe I'll take the photo down after a couple of days or something though.
I'm fairly certain my family will think the name is weird too. Oh well. We don't tell what it is until after they're born either. I think the kids just seem to become their name. My son was named after my maternal grandfather. When I told my mom his name she thought it seemed weird (although she was touched too) at first, but now, that's just who he is!
I had the. perfect. name. for my daughter before she was born, and then the circumstances of the birth and the Japanese middle name we thus wanted to use for her (husband is Japanese) made the perfect first name un-useable, so we had to choose a new first name. For a few days after she was born, I even called her by the name I'd carried around with me for so long. But now I can't imagine her with any other name than the one she's been given. Children grow into their names, no matter what others say about them. Choose what's in your heart, and don't worry about what anyone else says. (If my husband had liked my perfect choice as much as I had, we might have changed the middle name instead.)
Mom 101 made me snort! I do think Bob is the perfect name. My high school biology teacher named her son Flash Gordon so I think as long as you don't go the route of Moon Unit, Crystal Meth or Napalm it'll all be swell.
I'm a big fan of not telling certain people until a baby is born, for this exact reason. Everyone has opinions on everything. Heck my step-mother will be horrible when she hears my children's names. Even after my kids are born.
As long as you guys love it, it's the perfect name.
Bea - I'm pretty sure that I'll reveal it at some point, but here's a lit clue - a surname in Edwin Drood. It's also the name of an author who writes a series about literary detectives.
My sister named her kids last names. I.e., my niece's first name is my sister's maiden name, and my nephew's name is my grandmother's maiden name. I happen to personally HATE the practice of using last names as first names (way too many asssociations with elitist assholes from prep schools) and so their names have bugged me from the start. But you know what, they are 10 and 12 now, and I can't really imagine them as anyone else. I don't really think a name is as important as everyone else does. It's just a name, why should that matter? What matters is the person. Your mother is going to love that boy no matter what his name is, and just wait, she'll grow to love the name pretty damn fast. It will be impossible not to, she'll love the boy so much.
As for telling the internets, PLEASE! I'd love to know!
I don't think there's any harm in it, either--but I'm biased and naive, as I've used my kids' names all along.
Of course I want to know. I love the name game.
But it is all up to you - the revealing or not. Personally, I think you should save it for the birth announcement which we are all on pins and needles waiting for.
I agree with Phoenix too.
Don't worry about what other people think. It's YOUR baby!
You will get used to people asking about it, like they do with your daughter's name, but who cares?
I get that stuff all the time - that's a last name! What an unusual name! Is that a family name? Why did you decide to name him that? It doesn't matter.
Our first son's name is McRae and 2 people I know who have had boys since then have "borrowed" the name so it can't be that bad.
Hope your labor is being more predictable - I'll send positive thoughts to get you through these last days!
Dick Datchery?? Jasper?? Christian??
C'mon. I'm dying of curiosity here. If you tell, I promise to reveal the my Princess' real name is not Princess.
Do you tell the internet Sprout's real name? Silly question. After a post like that, you HAVE to.
TELL US SPROUT'S NAME!!!
(Please do forgive my insistent rudeness - as I have never commented on your blog before - but seriously. Don't post teasers. Hinting that mom hates it and it's "unusual" - that's just plain old blog cruelty. Offender!)
Dudes. I will very probably share his name - and WB's, which has already been outed, but still. But it won't be until he's born. Which, hopefully, will be any minute now. ;)
I'm sorry that your mom does that. It would be nice if she were just supportive. It is, after all, YOUR child and YOUR name. YOUR choice.
Anyway, whether or not you tell, it would be nice to know what "strange" name you have cooked up, but you could say it and still call him by a pseudonym after that.
I think I got it from your clue. If I'm right, I love it. I really, really do. Good luck with everything!
I confess that I am dying to know this 'perfect name' because it is something that we've all agonized over at one time or another. I also understand the temptation to share my children's real names. For one thing, it makes story-telling dialogue a whole lot smoother.
BUT
I keep hesitating. I mean, the internets, for all of its intimacy, supportiveness, and otherwise warm-fuzzy-inducing moments is a scary place. I don't want my children to be known on the internet beyond the anonymity provided by their pseudonyms.
That said, I am *this* close to posting pictures of mine which is something I've always sworn I would not do.
Hey - I think I know the name! I love mysteries.
I'm quite ridiculously superstitious, so we didn't tell anyone the names we had picked out - not even the Boy. (No doubt because he would tell EVERYONE what the name was.) It helped though, that we didn't know the sex of the baby, so technically we hadn't decided on a name, we had decided on two names.
Something that a few blogs I read has done is say the name in announcing the birth or telling the birth story -- a little, Welcome, Theo, or whatever -- and then use a pseudonym. I can't wait to hear his name, so I hope you do the same!
Ok, nice outing on the very first comment. LOL. We too are in the throws of baby naming, the past two girls have been very easy but this little girl has me stumped. Our short list has a couple of lovely ones but I am just not sold on one yet so that makes me think there could be a better one out there. I have one criteria that stands strong, she has to be able to be introduced as "The President of the United States ----- -----," just in case. So that means no sissy names. And both on my girls have male middle names (James and Lee). Anyway, can wait to hear what you pick.
I think it's Jasper. I can just imagine that little face in the sonogram being named Jasper. And I sort of like it...it's different, strong, and yet has a whispery softness to it, so you can sing it to a baby.
I also love Emilia. You could have done Amelia and been more common and modern, but I love the spelling that you chose.
By the way, in that one picture of her for Mother's Day where she is looking sideways at the camera - she looks so much like HBF in that, I was astonished.
You have great kids!
We have had every comment from every quarter. And it's not even as if they have wierd made up names (although I happen to like those too).
Child #1: How do you say it? How do you spell it? How do you say it in English?
Child #2: But that's an old lady's name!
Child #3: It's a Hispanic name! You're not Hispanic!
Everybody has an opinion, it seems... and you can't please everybody so best to ignore them.
And now ... please please tell us? Emilia is such a lovely name, I can't wait to hear what goes with it!
My husband is from Hungary, and his parents are STILL not happy (almost 2 years later!!) that we named our son Oliver London. Our last name is very Hungarian and long and difficult to spell/pronounce, so we wanted his first and middle names to be easy. Apparently Oliver is "not Hungarian enough" and London is simply "not a real name," according to my in-laws. But we never, not once, reconsidered. That is 'him,' and he could be nothing other than Oliver London.
The real kicker is that my husband's brother had a son a year ago, and since he had converted to Judaism as an adult, he and his Jewish wife gave their son Jewish first and middle names. Well, my parents-in-law were REALLY upset (this totally stopped their picked on Oliver's name for a while). They call the baby boy his real name in person, but any other time they actually call him a completely different Hungarian name (what would be his late great-grandfather's name)! Is that crazy or what???
Baby naming is an awesome responsibility and no one should compromise their choices based on anyone else's opinions. I think it's great you're sticking with what you feel is right for YOUR baby!
I honestly did not think I was "outing" Wonderbaby in my first post. She's been referred to by name in this blog, I thought it was common knowledge.
We tormented our friends and families by withholding our kids' names for as long as possible - for exactly the reasons articulated above.
We only revealed our son's name several hours after he was born and all the paperwork had been processed.
For our daughter, who was adopted internationally, we revealed her name at the airport when we arrived home with her and were greeted by friends and family.
It drove my mother crazy both times!
Best of luck with labor, delivery and whatever naming ceremonies you choose.
No matter what you name sprout, someone will dislike it. The first words out of my SIL's mouth when she saw me and the monkey was "You can not name monkey ****". My parents tried to claim that a part of his name was after my dad...crazy indians. Seriously though , I think when you dialed the westcoast they connected you to my mom. Can't wait to hear the name, wishing you a delivery today.
Oh hun, you are driving me nuts!! I am so desperate I have googled every possible author. I'm with the others who guessed Jasper...it does have a very sweet whisper quality to it. Anyways, if that's not it, I'm sure whatever you pick will be magnificent! BTW, my twins are a Nathaniel and a Sebastian and I got harped on for making their names too long and too old fashioned and not making them rhyme. I still get angry with my MIL for calling them Nat and Seabass...she is just that dumb, what can I say? Anyways, keep your secret until you are darn good and ready...Best wishes for a speedy delivery...
I don't think Jasper is it. I think it's either Septimus Crisparkle or Dick Datchery. (Could've been Grewgious, but that's too hard to say!)
:)
we didn't tell ANY family members the names we picked out while pregnant. i KNEW there would be comments and criticisms. but once they were named....my family members had to close their mouths. ;)
i'm sure the name is perfect!
First of all, I'm guessing Thelonius. And I love it :)
Secondly, just last week I started using my kids real names and I have to say that it has been liberating. Good luck with your decision.
No one liked my son's name and we came up with his name while trying to conceive. I told everyone his name just to get them used to it and my mom sounded much like yours the first, oh...50 times. "Are you sure you want to give him that name? Can you at least spell it so it looks more, I don't know, American?" she would ask. But it was immediately evident that his name fit him and I just adore his name. Adore it.
As far as names on the scary internets, I do use pseudonyms for our little family, but the real names are not hard to discover at all. Although I must say that Lasers is the name my husband and daughter wanted for the baby and Koko is what my daughter wished she was named.
Well, when you name your children after Sesame Street characters, you DO have to expect a certain amount of flak....but I feel sure that Princess Snuffleupagus and her brother will be able to handle it.
(Oops, should I have not revealed her middle name?)
PS I'm guessing Dashiell. Which is lovely.
PPS And I do do the unpardonable and call my kids by their real names on my blog. I tried pseudonyms, and they rang false to my ears after awhile. So far, it's been fine, although just last week I DID get a newsclipping about Dooce (fallout from the Today show, natch) from my GRANDMOTHER, who is sure I 'won't make the same mistakes that woman did.'
Hee!
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks! I say name him the name you LOVE...someone will always have an opinion.
Hmmm....I'm going to guess Jasper as well....
Hee! I just googled Edwin Drood, and I have to say: If you continue using pseudonyms, and you DON'T call WonderBoy 'Honeythunder', I will be VERY DISAPPOINTED.
:)
I actually like Sprout! What a cute little name. It's funny- we got grief when we used the pseudonym "Jagger" on our blog. My father "Ray" whose real name is Charles wanted to advise me against using nicknames because they could lead to permenant names (perhaps referring to himself or my brother "Chip" who hates them and that name to this very day, for it).
You're right that he will become the name and you'll never imagine him with any other name. But I understand the disappointment- of course we want everyone to love it because to you- it's him already. It's almost like they don't like him...
Hope Sprout makes an appearance soon for you!
I remember telling my MIL Oliver's name and she said something like, "Why would you do that to him?"
But he is an Oliver, and I knew it, and now I don't think she'd consider any other name for him but Oliver.
I hope you have this beautiful baby boy soon!
I have a mother who sounds very much like yours... And for that reason, I chose not to say a single word about either the sex, or the names of my children. It was MUCH easier just to present her with each baby, and while she was still in a state of rapturous adoration, say simply, "Her name is ___".
In the meantime, of course, I had to listen to ENDLESS amounts of advice on the choosing-of-names. It finally drove me SO nuts, I had to admit that I already knew exactly WHO IT WAS I was carrying, but that my husband and I had decided to keep it a secret.
That put a stop to it. And, of course, I was eventually forgiven (for THAT, anyway...)
Your decision! Yours alone.
As is the decision whether or not to share it with us.
We will always love hearing about your kids, nomatterwhat.
xo CGF
I would love to know the name(s) if you ever choose to share. My daughter came to us at 14 months as a foster child, so we were not able to choose a first name. We did, however, give her a new middle name, the name we always dreamed of having for a little girl.
My nephew knew we had wanted someday to have a boy and name him Samuel. when his own son was born, they emailed me to let me know they wanted to name the baby Samuel and did we mind? I thought that was sweet.
As far as anonymity, I just couldn't keep up the pseudonym thing. I use my husband's real first name, and mine, and April's. My siblings, on the other hand, are not household hostages, so they have pseudonyms on my blog. There are 11 of them, however, so I have to use a spreadsheet to remember who is supposed to be whom.
Anon - no worries! I have let her name slip here and there, and yes, a lot of people do know it already.
:)
Oh! Emilia is beautiful!
I'm curious about Sprout's name, but only if you want to share.
I use my kids' names, and now my last name (have to watermark all my photos), but you have to do what YOU are comfortable with.
I hope you just HAVE him soon!
I'm curious, but you've done a good job on anonymity and you'll be pleased about that as they get older.
Wonderbaby is a great pseudonym.
Names are obviously very personal to the parents. People should really only say 'Ooh, what a lovely name'. My parents didn't understand me calling our daughter Eleanor - but they totally get Ellie.
Ooooh. Well done, HBM. I love that name, as well as the national park in Alberta. In fact, if we were to have a third boy (assuming we have a third, whole other issue), that's the name that currently sits at the top of our 'boy list' .... it was the runner-up to Baby Boo's name!
We did clues last year re our boys' names to keep them ungoogleable...
Oh, and we told nobody, and I mean nobody, the boys' names until after they were born... because I know what my family is like. heh heh
I have a sister in law who is like your Mother - incapable of with holding her opinion. Even when she knows that voicing her opinion will not change the outcome one little bit.
And like you, I have held my breath and just waited for her disapproval. What has annoyed me even more is that her approval should matter to me!
I pondered this one for a few years and eventually decided that it only mattered to me when I was feeling vulnerable in myself. Now I don't care at all!
Looking forward to hearing about the end to your labour! All the very best wishes.
This is something that is near and dear to my heart. We closely guarded our son's names until birth for this very reason. If ONE person had even hesitated when I told them their names I would have punched them in the gut. I figured that once the baby's were born no one would DARE say anything bad about them. Then my sister-in-law had her son and named him a slightly "different" name and my Mother-in-law & Grandmother-in-law gave her shit for it for WEEKS. I almost punched them in the gut on her behalf. Drives me crazy. CRAZY! I'm sure his name is beautiful and perfect, much like he will be...when he finally arrives.
On another note, my sister was rear-ended on Mother's Day & ended up going into labor 3 weeks early. Not that I'd recommend it, but...
I vote Jasper too. A perfectly lovely name. In fact, it meets my personal criteria of being relatively unique (unlikely he will be Jasper X at school) and it's pronounced the way it's spelled (I assume you're not going to be kreativ). Good stuff.
It will be his name because it was chosen for and given to him by the people who made him. And it will be perfect because HE will be perfect.
Can't wait to meet him!
Of course we want to know! I find myself checking my reader more often these days waiting for the big news!
we didn't tell anyone our baby names till the baby was born. It was cause of the comments.
But, I've loved my daughter's name forever (Chloe) and I think it fits her and I love it.
It took people awhile to get used to it, but like you I don't care.
A name is special.
My name is really unusual and I hated it as a kid and now I feel like I grew into it.
I happen to LOVE the name Jasper. It's definitely not way out there or anything. You want to talk about shocked reactions? I named my daughter Cousteau. It suits her SO well, but when some people first heard it they were completely weirded out. It's funny - some people would rather you name your child a completely ubiquitous name. Frankly when I come across babies named ubercommon names, I kind of gag a little.
I made the mistake of telling my mother that if Bee was a girl she was going to be India (which she isn't, but she was supposed to be), and then had to suffer through months of her fretting over a name she hated.
This time around, knowing it was a girl, my mother wanted to know her name. I wouldn't give. She asked if it was going to be India. I said no, but added (after her huge, dramatic sigh of relief), 'You are going to wish it was India.'
Wonderbaby is so sweet and beautiful, and your son will NO DOUBT be EQUALLY handsome.
Oh PLEASE! Oh PLEASE! Tell us the names!! :)
We just hold off on telling anyone what the baby's name is until the baby is actually out and find that really helps people keep their opinions to themselves. Being horrified at "Harold" is one thing - being horrified at BABY Harold is entirely another. (Are any babies still called Harold? Is that what you're going to call your little fella?)
I think Bazzard is a lovely name. Why wouldn't your mom like it? ;-)
That is my husband's great-great grandfather's name...it's time to use it again.
We used Oscar. Not a family name (and certainly not liked by my mother-in-law), but it has fit our child all 13 years of his life...and he is proud of it.
I meant Jasper, of course.
Sharing is such a personal decision - whatever you decide has to be comfortable for you. For our daughter, we kept it a secret because we knew the grief we would get because we didn't include my husband's family in the name somewhere, but mine was. For our son, we had a tough time coming up with a name we both liked and that hadn't been used by one of my siblings or nine million cousins. We finally turned to one of our favorite movies for inspiration, and found what we had been seeking. On a side note, my mother always threatened to come back from the grave and haunt us if we ever named one of our kids after her. (She wasn't particularly fond of her turn-of-the-century throwback moniker.) None of us took the chance...
People have physical reactions to the names we give our children. Wonderful or horrible, they always have an OPINION. An opinion in all caps. That's why we're struggling with this one's name. But at the end of the day you have to love it because you'll be the one who is yelling it when the child has gotten on your last nerve.
Oh, your mom will get used to Oliver in time. Oliver, right? I got it right, didn't i?
I love the name we chose for Rascal more and more everyday. At first I wasn't totally sure (like you are), but now I KNOW my instincts were right in giving him this name. I LOVE it now. Say it proudly all the time...
The monkey's name was always perfect for her -- from the moment she was conceived!
Don't you love how they say "my brudder"? Monkey does that, too.... :)
I would love to find out the baby's name now that you've piqued my curiosity. Did someone guess Holden?
It's Vlasic, no?
What's so funny is that I never even though to give Archer a pseudonym when I started blogging. What I did manage to do (I think) is keep the internets from knowing his last name (as it is different for mine) so if someone were to google his full name, he would be anonymous. Do you and your husband share a last name? I feel like I should know this, probably but eh. THINKING OF YOU, Catherine! So excited to meet your boy and hear all about his awesome pirate-princeness.
And re: names. My mother not only hated our first pick for a daughter (Salome) but sent my husband literature on why she was a murderous tramp in the bible, so while I was away, she manipulated Hal into hating the name and boycotting it for all eternity. So I hear you. We have two names, now that we like. One is old and beautiful and the other isn't even a name at all. But it is to me. And I love it anyway.
Seriously, when that babe comes out, every one who meets him won't be able to picture him as anyone besides who you've named him, which like you said, is perfect.
xo and thoughts to you for asap labor.
GGC - we have different last names, so both WB and Le Sprout will have last names that aren't directly traceable to this blog. Which, yeah, gives me added comfort.
If I were starting all over again, I'd probably not even consider pseudonyms. It feels strained now. And, these are, in large part, THEIR stories. So, I think that a further lifting of the veil is coming ;)
I love how people pause after I tell them my son's name is Josey. It's like *ohmygod. Is he actually a girl? It really looks like a boy. No, it's a boy, but who would DO that to a boy?* "Oh!" Every time I tell someone his name I get a deer-in-the-headlights look and an "Oh!" It's rather amusing.
I definitely think you should tell :)
Our son has a name that is perfect for him, but not a name you hear every day either. My mom hates it. My dad, on the other hand, told me that it was a strong name and he raised his fist in the air above his hospital bed. This made me so happy since they had such a short time together. And, there is also no 'real' nickname for our guy which is why I call him by his first initial: D. That's his name on my blog and his nickname in real life. Any name, chosen with love and caring, is the perfect name for your son.
Good for you! My firstborn has a name that is unusual (not weird), and it could NOT have been more perfect for him. I've never regretted it one day.
My grandmother on my step-father's side was like your mom. When my uncle told her what his son would be named, she said, "Really? You're kidding right?". When he told her what his daughter would be called, she said, "But there are so many PRETTY girls names."
So we didn't tell ANYBODY what Muffin Man's name was gonna be until we had him physically there and his name was already printed on his hospital records.
And hoping that tonight will see you pushing that sweet Sprout OUT!
Ah yes. Both sons' names are traditional but spelled the Scandinavian way. I've gotten odd comments from folks, but in the end most people have liked them.
We considered Theodore, too, but my mom did the same "THEO?!" with a wrinkled brow. Husband wanted "Cicero Octavian."
I LOVE names. Used to write 'em out in long lists as a hobby when I was a kid.
It's NOT Dick Datchery, is it? Though, if it is, I applaud your independent spirit.
In any case, best wishes for an easy labor.
there will always be doubters. my favorite retort from family and (ahem) friends: "but what will you CALL him?" well, his name of course. why would you name a child something you didn't want to call him? i know people do it from time to time, but...
my mother, who is the most non-judgmental and lovely person, has the exact same sorts of things to say about a certain category of names, most especially names that are commonly surnames, or what she thinks of as boy's names used for girls (like mackenzie, which fortunately not one of her children likes in the slightest). and my poor, poor sister-in-law, who at first chose "maya" and "mendel" for her twins, suffered mightily at the tongue of her sister and two mothers, who regaled her in the recovery room with all the reasons why they hated those and any other names she came up with.
no wonder she never picks names until the babies are nearly six months old.
in panama, where one of my sisters lives and just had a baby, evidently it's so common not to have a name for a newborn yet that she now asks new parents, "so, have you decided on a name for the baby yet?" that seems so much more luxurious.
I've tried naming pets in advance and always end up changing my mind after I finally "meet" them because the name just isn't right, so I think I'll be one of those crazy people who wait to name their baby until after the birth.
Hope the Sprout makes an appearance soon and you get some much-needed pregnancy relief!
If it's Jasper, I'm so jealous. I wanted to name my son that, but couldn't convince the husband.
Isn't Jasper What James Lileks named his dog?
Lamont
Great post. I so want to know his name, but I am for a bit of privacy when it comes to the net. I use pseudonyms.
And when are you gonna have that dadgum baby?!?!
When you said it was the name of artists, writers, and characters of fiction, I thought of Homer or Hugo, but if your Mom wants to know how you will shorten the name, those probably aren't it. Dashiell sounds possible, as does Pablo. Or Ivan!
I think I freaked you out at BlogHer last year when I asked how your daughter was and called her by name :)
Just don't let your mom near the birth certificate, OK? When my mom was born, her grandmother filled out the form. Incredibly, it wasn't until years later that they discovered that mom's legal name was in fact not Constance, but Cornelia.
Hope he comes soon, for your sake and all these curious folks.
Was glad to see Erika's (Plain Jane Mom) comment as I was going to suggest you ask her how she came to the decision to share her boys real names after using pseudonyms. Not that those of us who have always used our kids' actual names couldn't give good advice, but always good to hear from someone who has worn the same shoes.
Tell us. Just tell us.
(I'll probably react just like your mother.)
Jenny
I love Jasper (if that is what the name is). My husband and I met at Manhattan College whose mascot is the Jaspers (named for Brother Jasper)http://www.manhattan.edu/athletics_mc/what_is_a_jasper.shtml
I did consider it as a middle name if Baby #2 was a boy. My oldest was named after Daddy.
I didn't know Wonderbaby's name but she always looked like an Emma to me. So when I read the first comment I was surprised that I almost got it right! And now hurry on, little Jasper!
I've always thought the won't he/she be made fun of comment about names (unless they're something totally crazy like, oh, say, Oz) was sort of stupid. My mom's middle name is Lucy - can't get much more regular than that - and she still talks about being made fun of.
Once Sprout is here, your mom will probably love his name - I think grandparent reactions to their named grandbaby are rarely as critical as those to a name pre-birth. That's how my in-laws have been - although my father in law did just ask if we were calling our six month old something other than Axel by now...
Well, as you know, I am obsessive about names, and even so, I refused to tell relatives until after Pumpkinpie was born. I told about two friends, and that was it. My mom kept calling with absurd suggestions (Gertrude? Huhh? Are you serious?) even after I told her I was not seeking opinions, as she already has been this time - all girl names, funnily enough, though still bizarre. But that way, even though we thought her name was perfect and beautiful, people would be insulting her as much as her name if they reacted badly. Not that anyone has, though. Which is nice.
And if all those people above are right and it's Jasper? I know a young Jasper, and he is a lovely kid and no one that I know of has thought it a weird name, let alone one to pick on him over. I quite liked it, in fact.
The older I get the more I appreciate less common names. I gave my kids fairly common names that were not too popular but I've noticed that one of them is rapidly on the rise. So far, my son is the only boy in his grade with his name, but I'm sure that will change once he hits university and the work force. Ugh. I need a do-over. Although, the name does suit him, so at least there's that.
my husband's father was the only one that liked our son's name, Oscar. We loved it and it's perfect for him. We kept it a secret until he was born because I didn't want to deal w/any editorial comments (which I got anyways.)
my husband's father was the only one that liked our son's name, Oscar. We loved it and it's perfect for him. We kept it a secret until he was born because I didn't want to deal w/any editorial comments (which I got anyways.)
Aristotle, Archimedes, Plato, Da Vinci, Einstein, Newton....Edison
Did I get it right?
I really hope not! Don't name your baby those names!
Of COURSE you tell the internets.
Well, I want to know anyway.
Out of our 5 children, we only got to name 1 (the other four were adopted after infancy). We never told a soul until after he was born, we knew everyone would hate his name. But yes, they grew into it and couldn't imagine calling him anything else.
By the way, in my blog I just named all of my children normal names (although not their real names). People can connect to Leroy or Tori or Christian because they are real names....just not their given ones as to protect identity.
Sprout & Wonderbaby are just fine!
My mother changed her own name TO Gladys.
So what would her opinion have counted for anyway?
You have select fine names for lovely little persons. You don't need to tell us. I enjoy the aliases, to be honest.
Metrodad never calls Peanut peanut either.
Atticus, Linus, Arunas, Cornelius, Constantine, Edmund...all names I loved, and all got shot down.
My son has a very old-school but currently trendy three syllable boy's name. But, we call him by the tres rock-n-roll nick name.
As long as the name has a rock-and-roll nick name, you can't go wrong. ;-)
Here's a little story for you:
We decided our girl would have a name that started with C since our last name did. I went to hospital in labor with 5 names in my pocket. One was Carly (not my fave but one of my hubby's faves). We told our moms the 5 names.
My MIL said, "You can't name her that! There is a woman of ill repute named that on General Hospital."
My mom said, "You can't name her that! There is a sl*t named that on As the World Turns."
Miss CC is not named Carly.
I hope Wonderboy comes soon!
P.S. did you know there is a T-shirt with Wonderbaby on it on the Chasing Fireflies website?
Her Bad Mother? Are you in labor? Sending you good thoughts.
-Tina
I keep checking my blog reader and Twitter to see if Anything Has Happened but no. You continue to keep us in suspense. Now:
FIRST of all Wonderbaby is amazingly gorgeous.
Secondly , a warning: We had a perfectly lovely name picked out for our second and then -- he emerged -- and he just didn't look like a "James." (He was to be named for Sweet Baby James - you know, rockabye sweet baby... What can I say, it was the 70's) He ended up Daniel because that was who he just was. So even if you don't use this perfect, decided-upon name you must reveal it here for your groupies and friends. Good luck C.. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY (Mine is the same day, albeit a few years before you...)
HBM your mom will love sprout as much as wonderbaby and she will gwt used to his name.and i'm sure it is a very special name for apeciAL liitle boy.who we all hope for your sake comes soon. hugs to you LAVANDULA
I'm sure you've chosen wisely.
For years and years, I wanted rid of my first name, thinking it wasd pedestrian and a bit nice and dull.
but i could never come up with anything else that fitted (apart from Bitch Cassidy and i'm keeping that for my burlesque breakthrough).
Nowadays, I don't mind when doofuses run my first name and middle name together and i'm v. partial to being called by my surname (in fact if i were ever to marry, i'd give some thought to taking it as my first name, just to confuse everyone) (then my first name could be a secret thing. Ish).
So i guess i was named correctly after.
Hope your baby comes soon
I called my youngest by her name before I knew she was a she. The shortened version is unisex. My husband always called her BooBoo, she came 10 years after our youngest son. I am glad you are going to share the names at some point. I may do it one of these days myself, in fact, I may have slipped a time or two.
I can totally relate to this post. When I would tell people what I was going to name my boys, I always got "what nickname are you going to call them?". I'm not, I call them by there full name. I also get from my MIL, you know they are going to get "XXXX" as a nickname, I say not if I start the nickname I prefer.
I also struggle with using my boys real names and still am on the fence.
How funny that others have guessed Jasper because even before I read the comments, I guessed that name based on your description. I know a three-year-old boy named Jasper and I think it's a lovely name -- it really suits him, is familiar enough, but not common.
Whatever he's called, your little boy has clearly been named with thought and love.
If it were about anything but names, that conversation would sound just like my mother, but my mom has difficulty with a lot of pronunciations, so with names she only asks that it be something she can say. She cannot say my father-in-law's name, for example.
When I revealed my last baby's name, I did it by photos of famous people or things with those names, so all my readers would know the name, but it still wasn't google-able.
My husband and I were rather indecisive... and then Pumpkin (our first) came two weeks early. So when I was frantically finishing packing my bag (post-water-breaking!), I had to grab the Excel spreadsheet with all of our choices on it!
But it was nice to be able to look at her as we chose. There were some names that she just WASN'T. (Like Cassie. Cute name, but not her.)
And we chose an unusual (but real) name and love it.
And when we were expecting our second, we didn't stress out about it, but once again went to the hospital with a list and figured it out when we were there. (But this time the name we chose was one I was really thinking about and thought she looked like right, right away.)
Anyway, sending you let's-go-labor thoughts! (Which should be powerful ones, 'cuz each of my girls came two weeks early!)
You're right - you're the only ones who have a say in his name, and everyone else will just need to accept it. You know what the best name is for him.
I knew Cordelia's name would be the right fit. It took me some time to realize that was her name, but once I knew I was certain.
I actually was never certain about Miranda. I'm still not - I think she would have made a better Bianca, but let family talk me out of it. But her nickname Mira fits her well, so that's what I call her most of the time.
I can't wait to hear this guy's name. I'm sure you've picked just the right name for him.
I feel your pain. When I told my parents what we were naming our oldest son they said "Oh. I don't like it." To make me feel even better a year later my mother said "You know, I hated the name Drake when you picked it out, but now I guess it suits him." Soooo does that mean he is a sucky kid and the name fits or that you finally pulled your head out of your ass and see his name rocks?? Yeah I picked the second choice too!
I am sure the name you pick is as wonderful as Wonderbaby's. Hope he come REAL soon!
i want jasper, but my husband said no. i'm mourning the loss of the name, even though i am only 6 months pregnant and don't even know it's a boy.
heck, you might not even be using that, but it's my guess.
our other kids are gracie, slater, and finnegan. slater is a girl and is often mistaken for a boy when i'm on the phone and when she was a baby.
With my first (twins) we told the names (one pretty common, one a little more unusual.) Some family members loved them, and some loved one and not the other, but pulled the 'I'll get used to them.'Which they did because I knew that was their names.
With # 3 we thought we had the name, and decided not to tell anyone, which lasted until 8 weeks before she was born. When we told my mother the name was Eliza, she quickly got used to it. But then kept saying it in a long high pitched southern drawl, dropping the E, to be' Liiiiiiiza'. Irked me so bad. My MIL on the otherhand, loved Eliza, and kept going on about how dainty and feminine it was. Irked me even worse. So, in an insane pregnant woman moment three days before my due date, I asked the baby her name, and somehow came out with an answer, and it was not Eliza. So we made a deal. If she'd kindly be born ASAP, she could have that name. I was in labour within 24 hours, and we had the fun of surprising everyone with a completely different name than they had been expecting.
Here's hoping your babe is not being un-cooperative and fishing for a name change like mine seemed to be! Good luck!
My daughter is called Saoirse, Irish for freedom. It was an important name for me to use. My mother hated it. My grandfather calls her Sarah (he also calls my son Liam Billy...he's anti Irish), for months my friends tried to convince me to change it. We wouldn't. They can't imagine her as anything else. She is Saoirse. Jasper will be Jasper, and no one will ever be able to imagine him as a jacob or Ethan. Congragts by the way!
I agree with you about these. Well someday Ill create a blog to compete you! lolz.
Jasper is a great name.
I've known kids to be saddled with some names that will cause problems down the line. One boy, if his name is shortened might be called Sue. Seriously. The dad is not American and they chose a name from his country. I hope he's tall like his dad. And strong. So no one will mess with him.
I picked both my kids names because they were not in the top 100. Scout's name was just over 100 and Lil'bug's name was about 450 the year she was born. I like a name that is unique, that they won't hear every day.
Here's a cool site. You can see how a names have increased/decreased in popularity over time. Where the name ranked in any given year, etc.
http://www.socialsecurity.gov/OACT/babynames/
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