Her Bad Mother

Thursday, August 9, 2007

In The Bag

Edited to include more! bags! (Tell me what's in your bag and I'll add it, too.)

This is my bag:

Notice that I do not call it a purse. That is because, like my dear friend Katie, I do not like the word purse.

(I also do not like the word moist, which is why you will never see any discussion of Duncan Hines products in this space.)




Anyway, back to my bag: it contains my life, or at least a good portion of it. And seeing what's inside might tell you a little somehing about that life. So...


My life, as summarized by the contents of my bag:

1: Canadian passport, expired. (I am Canadian, and I have limited life skills.)

2 & 21: Blog propaganda. (Am a blogger, and a shameless propagandist.)

3: Blog propaganda upon which I exploit the image of my child. (Am a blogger, a shameless propagandist and a bad mother.)

4: PunditMom's magnet. (I like PunditMom, and magnets.)

5: Child's pink foil party hat. (My child likes to party.)

6: Bliss toiletries, appropriated from W Hotel Chicago. (Have good taste in toiletries and was recently in Chicago. And, have no moral qualms about petty thievery.)

7: Chamomile tea. (I get hangovers.)

8: Moneys. (Have moneys. Not a lot.)

9: iPod Nano, battery dead, earphones missing. (I like music, but not enough to keep iPod battery charged. Also, I lose things. See above re: limited life skills.)

10: Hand sanitizer. (Have post-partum germophobia.)

11: Key to the Doors Of Perception. (Your call.)

12 & 13: Moleskine notebook and pocket Gertrude Stein. (Am snooty intellectual.)

14 & 15: Grooming products. (Am snooty intellectual who nonetheless values grooming, and lipgloss.)

16: Wooden ring of unknown use and origin; not what you think, dirty people. (Have wooden ring; collect random junk; have dirty mind.)

17: Chocolate coin. (Hope to one day travel to Chocolatlandia, where I intend to purchase goods and services.)

18: House key, not my own. (Have lost my keys. But have completely useless back-up key, so no worries! I'll just climb in and out of windows!)

19: Half-eaten digestive biscuit. (Have child who is ambivalent about digestive biscuits. Also, am averse to wastage, but not averse to eating old biscuits.)

20: Sub-bag, pink, for carrying moneys and credit cards. Not wallet. Sub-bag. (Have issues about naming accessories. Also, have credit cards. Am grown-up, sort of.)

22: Half-eaten Crayons. (Child eats crayons. I feed child crayons. See above re: bad mother.)

23 & 24: WonderBaby's bag du jour, featuring cowboy image, containing rocks. (Child likes bags, and cowboys and rocks. Also, child makes this mother carry bag of rocks. This mother is child's bitch.)

What's in your bag? (If you do a picture, leave a comment or link to me so that I can find it.) (I like snooping in other peoples' bags. Like Katie's: check hers out here.)

More bags! Check out Kgirl's bag here, Heather/Cool Zebra's bag here, Alley Cat's bag here, aaaand some Blog Blah Blah bag right here.

More! MORE BAGS! Check les sacs du...

MamaT

Sassafrass

Laural Dawn

Mothergoosemouse

Perpetual Exhaustion

Girl's Gone Child

MamaTulip

Whoorl

NoBadDays

Flutter

Maman Des Filles

Just Scribbling

Blithely Babbling

Velocibadgergirl

Damselfly

Kyla

Tere

I Can Fly, Just Not Up

No Mother Earth

Amy-Jo/Cheese Party

Ewe Are Here

Notes Of A Full-Time Mom

Jezer

The Maya's Mom List

Unfit Mother

Mommy's Dirty Secret


Have I missed anybody? Got a link to add? Let me know!

95 Comments:

Blogger Mimi said...

it would be easy enough to take a picture of the contents of my bag, because Munchkin's unwinding routine after daycare involves methodically removing every. single. item. from my computer bag. And then putting random stuff back in.

you have chocolate in your purse? that's not eaten?

12:17 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

You didn't see the shadow of the chocolate that had already been eaten? Won't turn up in a picture if it's in my tummy.

Besides, as I said, if I ever get to Chocolatlandia, I'm going to need moneys, no? Be prepared.

12:32 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

I carry small bags so all that is in mine is a wallet, two checkbooks, epipen shot, pen, cell phone, and lipstick. Very boring stuff in my bag!

12:55 PM  
Blogger flutter said...

ooo I did this one too, I love this it feels so voyeuristic. I am also a nonlover of the word moist. I also cannot stand savory or vaginal. blech.

12:56 PM  
Anonymous radical mama said...

It would not be worth a picture. Wallet, keys, cell phone (if I remember it). Sometimes, an ink pen. But I am not usually that prepared.

Now, my diaper bag contents? That would take up several square feet. I'm a little afraid of what I might find in its dark corners. Ew.

1:06 PM  
Blogger Bobita~ said...

I'm all over this one! (And am somewhat embarrassed to admit that these kinds of things delight me to no end.)

1:26 PM  
Blogger kgirl said...

Yes, love this! I mentioned at MB's that I think Sassy used to do a feature on dissecting random girls' bag. Let's resurrect for sure. My huge hippie sack is going public.

1:28 PM  
Blogger Lady M said...

ooooh, this is great! I love bag snooping. The one I carry the most is actually a soft briefcase, it's painfully full.

1:42 PM  
Blogger KrisUnderwood said...

Yes, for some reason, I too cannot call my lovely bag 'purse'. Don't know what it is...maybe it is too 'girly' for me? I don't know.

What's in my bag? keys, LOTS of scrap paper (for scribbling upon of course), Sunglasses, wallet, baby's sunglasses, about 20 different pens. chapstick, a ring, mints, cell phone.......lots of other stuff....

1:43 PM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

Chocolatlandia! That is SO OUR NEXT ROADTRIP! But I think we would probably eat all the currency before getting across the border. And then we would probably eat the border guard (cos he'd be made of chocolate), and then we'd be deported for eating lamp posts. [note we'd be deported for the lamp posts, not the worker b/c I've heard it's like Michigan where they pay you to maim and kill their road workers]. But regardless of the punishments we certainly would accrue, it's a risk I'm willing to take.

And OMG your purse is like an archive of the past two weeks.

1:44 PM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

I wonder what sort of services they provide in Chocolatlandia. I think I will have lots of fun daydreaming about that today.

1:46 PM  
Blogger Kyla said...

You are your bag, HBM. Excellent.

1:46 PM  
Blogger Jonathon Morgan said...

I just had to add -- I have an actress friend who used to have a phobia about the word "purse." She couldn't say it, and had a very tough time hearing it.

So I wrote it into the script we were rehearsing. FUN TIMES.

1:49 PM  
Anonymous dana said...

I've got too much junk in my bag.

I'll have to do this!

1:50 PM  
Blogger slouching mom said...

I love number five. Cuz you never know when you might need to pull out a party hat.

Party hats defuse most any situational tension, I find. ;)

1:50 PM  
Blogger T. said...

Seriously - I hate the word moist too...my god.. another word hater...and I thought I was the only one.

1:57 PM  
Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

One of my dearest friends cannot stand the word moist. It grosses her out entirely. So, of course, I must endlessly torture her by putting moist into my conversation as much as possible. We even had a game in law school where, while the professors were employing the Socratic method, we would be awarded points based on the number of times we could work "moist" into our answers. You would have hated us.

But at least I can tell Tiffany she's not alone!

2:00 PM  
Blogger nomotherearth said...

Wow, this is too interesting to pass up. I may have to try it myself. Sadly though, my "bag" is not nearly as representative as yours. Or maybe it is...which is doubly sad.

2:03 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicken said...

I despise the word "moist." Pair it with "tip," and you have the most disgusting combination in all language.

2:16 PM  
Anonymous andi said...

I loathe the word "purse" also. Whenever I hear it, I always think of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry is carrying one and he defends it by shouting, "It's not a purse! It's European."

3:11 PM  
Blogger karla said...

Oh my goodness. There once was a time that I carried expensive mascara and concealer a credit card to rack up a bar bill, but these days, my bag doubles as a diaper bag and now you will probably find one too many walmart receipts for diapers and wipes and spare diapers and a clip to tie back my dishelleved hair so my son stops pulling it.

3:18 PM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

Hee hee. I kinda like the word moist. it has a satifyingly squishy sound that makes it perfect for dryly understating the fact that, say, your shoes are sopping wet and your feet are squishing in puddles.

Anyhow, my PURSE is much bigger and fuller. I might not be able to do this, in fact. It's akin to a suitcase right now because I haven't emptied it in a month or two and it is rather, um, vast.

And probably contains some rocks, since we are really into rocks in our house, too. We have a collection that numbers just under 100 at press time.

3:29 PM  
Blogger Awesome Mom said...

That is an iPod Shuffle not a Nano. :P I am not a bag person, so I have a wallet and use my pockets to carry stuff. I only drag out the diaper bag for long trips.

3:32 PM  
Blogger Phoenix said...

Mmmmm, cake.

I kinda like this meme, I may do it. You have a ton of shit...stuff in your purse...um bag. Sorry, I have no word issues. But I love that you do.

3:38 PM  
Blogger something blue said...

Oops, I already did this before we left for Chicago. I guess I'm just ahead of my time. Plus now I'm too afraid to venture into my Flat Bag. There is likely something moist in there.

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Selfmademom said...

First of all, your bag is fabulous. Second of all, I hate hate the word moist. Third of all, my favorite thing in my bag is this little pink pig on a key chain I got a Bed Bath and Beyond that oink oinks and flashes when you push it. It works wonders with a 16-month-old during lunch.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

'Moist' and 'tip' together are not nearly so gross and 'moist' and 'crotch.'

4:31 PM  
Blogger Alley Cat said...

I hate the word, "engorged".

I dumped my purse for you. Feel free to take a peek.

4:33 PM  
Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

All these years and I never knew that "wallet," "purse," and "moist" were Bad Words.

I feel a post germinating from this newfound Badness....

5:39 PM  
Blogger Stimey said...

Addition to bad words: "Slacks." Really, can't we just call them pants?

5:44 PM  
Blogger Ruth Dynamite said...

I have not one but TWO little plastic pill boxes with Amy Sedaris' picture on them that read "Pee on Me" and on the inside they say "loser."

At the time, I was hysterical and thought "Who wouldn't want one of these?" Now they lurk in a side pocket of my bag, waiting for just the right moment to make an appearance. Shhhh.

8:05 PM  
Blogger mamatulip said...

When you go to Chocolatlandia, can I come too?

8:44 PM  
Blogger Major Bedhead said...

C'mon. Where's the crumbs and the snotty tissues and the gum wrapper with chewed gum in it? Tsk. I do believe that you fluffed your stuff before photographing.

I need a handbag fluffer. Mine would scare the bejesus out of most people.

9:39 PM  
Blogger moosh in indy. said...

wholesome and hearty.
gross.

9:40 PM  
Blogger Damselfly said...

I'm still wondering about that party hat. Am I supposed to be carrying that in my pur-- er, bag?

9:55 PM  
Blogger myminivanisfasterthanyours said...

I bought a smaller purse so I wouldn't carry so much stuff around with me all the time. So now I have like 22 sippy cups crammed into that small purse. I'm a genius, for sure.

11:15 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Here's a link to what my purse held last year:

http://coolzebras.blogspot.com/2006/09/pocketbook-uncensored.html

11:31 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

I did a post like this (except not nearly so witty) almost a year ago.

Also, I called it my purse. D'oh!

I guess I am not averse to the word purse.

Here's what was in my bag.

12:02 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Bedhead, you just can't see the crumbs. They're there, alongside the cat hair.

12:08 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Reading back through the comments and seeing the words "crotch" and "moist" reminds me that I learned a delightfully disgusting and raunchy Aussie slang word when I was reading Cloudstreet by Tim Winton (a gift from an Aussie friend) last night.

And that word was? Crotchpong. As in, "Her swimsuit smelled of her hammy crotchpong."

Gross, no? Kinda makes "moist" and "tip" seem benign, huh?

*and yes, I know this comment relates to this post really not at all except that I am very susceptible to flight of ideas and somehow from "moist" I ended up at crotchpong*

I'm going away now. I promise.

12:09 AM  
Blogger Lisa b said...

Pocket Gertrude Stein. Seems so obvious to me now that you would have this.
If I can find my purse we are going public!

12:25 AM  
Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

I have a huge bag and could quite easily live out of it for a day or two. Today, in a tizzy, I went off with nothing but my wallett, and felt, quitel literally, as if a part of me had been amputated.

I don't like the word "slither".

1:43 AM  
Blogger jen said...

your bag is much more exciting than my bag any day of the week.

2:00 AM  
Blogger SoundHunter said...

I too..HATE HATE HATE the word moist. Hate it. Worst word ever.

2:05 AM  
Blogger jchevais said...

My canadian passport is expired too. gar. I hate going to the Canadian Embassy in Paris which is why I still haven't renewed it.

I sort of realised that this sort of makes me stuck here...

5:10 AM  
Anonymous phenom said...

Many of you will be happy to learn that hatred of the word "moist" made it to TV-land. The mom on the Showtime series Dead Like Me hated the word "moist".

I'm indifferent.

7:58 AM  
Blogger ~JJ! said...

Very cool contents...

I may have to reprise this idea just for you...we'll see.

8:49 AM  
Blogger kgirl said...

I did it! And I hate the phrase 'make love.'

8:55 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

'Babydance' is worse than 'make love,' IMO. But 'make love' does call to mind middle-aged hippy men drenched in patchouli, so yeah: UCK.

9:11 AM  
Blogger BOSSY said...

Pathetically Bossy calls her purse her "diaper bag". Despite the fact that her youngest is a decade removed from diapers and Bossy has purchased many lovely handbags since, she can't break this habit.

What's in it? Shit.

9:17 AM  
Blogger Laural Dawn said...

I loved this.
I love seeing what's in other people's bags. LOVE it (though I personally have both bags and purses). I have always loved going through other people's bags to see what they have - try their lipglosses, etc.
I'm so going to do this when I get home and have energy.

PS I LOVE the cowboy wallet. I'd totally use it myself.

10:06 AM  
Blogger Tere said...

Loved this, and did it, too.

http://tere-tere.blogspot.com/2007/08/take-look-inside-my-purse.html

12:37 PM  
Blogger gingajoy said...

i should totally do this, but i won't. you are getting seriously good usage out of that special computer pen thingy, aren't you? WANT ONE.

so YOU were the bitchtroll who swiped all the soaps.

12:45 PM  
Anonymous ali said...

the word moist gives me the heebie jeebies. (i guess...now that i think about it...so does the word heebie jeebies...)

2:50 PM  
Blogger ByJane said...

This reminds me of an essay assignment I gave when I was teaching comp one year. The text was The Things They Carried and I had the class do an analysis of what they carried in their bookbags. Some of them were actually interesting...

4:14 PM  
Blogger Kyla said...

I did mine yesterday.

http://khebert.blogspot.com/2007/08/thats-not-my-bag-baby.html

4:16 PM  
Blogger Janet said...

Y'know I was reading this and thinking, "People don't like the word 'moist' because it can apply to both items and anatomy." And then...there is was in a comment. Moist. Crotch. I laughed, and laughed, and laughed some more.

I have three bags on the go right now. I move my wallet around from one to the other. All have some sort of lip gloss. All have a size 5 diaper. But none have any wipes.

It doesn't make a lick of sense.

4:22 PM  
Blogger Damselfly said...

OK, I did it!

http://growingalife.blogspot.com/2007/08/bagged.html

5:51 PM  
Blogger painted maypole said...

am trying to catch up on blog reading since my return to north america. Love your comments about blogher (and those pictures! oh my!) And may I just say that our husbands are the exact same size. Well, height, anyways. No one could accuse mine of being too skinny.

6:24 PM  
Blogger velocibadgergirl said...

Oooh, I love these "what's in the bag" posts!

I did one a while back, if you're interested:

http://velocibadgergirl.blogspot.com/2007/05/baggage-isabel-posted-cool-entry-today.html

9:08 PM  
Blogger b*babbler said...

This was so much fun! I'm glad I could participate in this...

I've exposed myself here:
http://blithelybabbling.blogspot.com/2007/08/great-expos.html

10:09 PM  
Blogger Gabriella said...

Fun thing to do, sadly my bag is BORING, but I did it anyway!

9:01 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

Here's mine.

Good luck with your laptop!

9:06 AM  
Blogger Maman said...

I have mine up here... you can definitely tell my kids are older

10:14 AM  
Blogger Alley Cat said...

Wow! Thanks to the link you added, I have had more traffic than I've ever seen! Mind you, everyone is looking at my tampons, coupons, and drink voucher, but I guess I'll take what I can get ;)

1:45 PM  
Blogger ewe are here said...

Ok. I couldn't resist the challenge and posted the contents of my bag. :-)

6:17 PM  
Blogger Candygirlflies said...

Okay, you showed me yours, so I'll show you mine:

http://icanflyjustnotup.blogspot.com/

10:15 AM  
Blogger flutter said...

Check it out, mama:

http://fluttercrafts.typepad.com/fluttercrafts_taking_the_/2007/06/mememememememem.html

2:58 PM  
Anonymous Sue at nobaddays said...

Loved this. Here is mine: http://nobaddays.wordpress.com/2007/08/12/pantechnicon-in-training/

8:04 PM  
Blogger nomotherearth said...

Did post about the (boring..um, practical) contents of my bag recently.

10:46 PM  
Anonymous whoorl said...

Here's my bag from earlier this year.

http://flickr.com/photos/whoorl/395531725/

I don't even know where my bag is right now. I just throw a couple diapers and wipes and my wallet into the stroller these days. LAZY.

12:39 PM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

http://girlsgonechild.blogspot.com/2007/08/twenty-pencils-zero-paper.html

I'm in!

2:15 PM  
Blogger Scarlett said...

I did mine but it wasn't very interesting at all. Or perhaps it was interesting but nothing useful. I'm not quite sure.

1:51 AM  
Blogger mamatulip said...

Okay, this was too fun to pass up. My post's up.

9:19 AM  
Blogger geenalyn said...

i dumped my purse and did it too....

http://perpetuallyexhausted.blogspot.com/2007/08/so-ive-seen-this-floating-around.html

10:50 AM  
Blogger Stephanie T. said...

The contents of my purse have been revealed, too!

http://mamatsmusings.blogspot.com/2007/08/hey-whats-in-your-purse-redux.html

11:29 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

This is hilarious. I too hate the words "purse" and "moist". Ugh!! That "m" word is the worst. If a phrase like "teen activity" also makes you want to retch, you can be my new best friend.

9:40 AM  
Blogger Amy Jo said...

Fun fun fun! And something to kill the time while I'm stuck inside waiting for this baby to come. It's 103 degrees, so the doctor recommends I stay inside. At 39 1/2 weeks, I'm losing my flipping mind! Here's my mess!

http://cheeseparty.blogspot.com/2007/08/good-opportunity-to-sort-through.html

10:06 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

From September 2006:

http://mommysdirtysecret.blogspot.com/2006/09/dirty-little-secret-28.html

5:25 PM  
Anonymous Unfit Mother said...

Uncle!
http://unfitmother.typepad.com/unfit_mother/2007/08/bag-lady.html

7:16 PM  
Anonymous Selfmademom said...

I loved this post and idea so much I totally copied it, but for people's offices- I shared what I'm hiding in my office and I would love to see what others have in theirs! My purse really isn't all that interesting, or I would have participated in this.

10:50 PM  
Anonymous Selfmademom said...

Oops- I did comment- I have total mom brain- I'm too tired I forgot. But I do remember reading and liking it. Oy. I think I just comment-paux'd my way off this blog! :)

10:53 PM  
Anonymous crazedparent said...

we did a photo challenge at maya's mom about a month ago on "what's in your bag"...here's a link to all the posts:

http://www.mayasmom.com/find?tag=fj-photochallenge720&s=journals

11:50 PM  
Blogger Jezer said...

I FINALLY did this! Thanks to you and Katie for the inspiration.

http://jezewhiz.blogspot.com/2007/08/not-so-fashionably-late.html

10:34 AM  
Anonymous ali said...

ok i can't manage to get a link to just the post-i think i forgot how-but i emptied my bag and here is my blog address!
http://rnmom.spaces.live.com

10:45 AM  
Blogger ewe are here said...

I showed mine last week! ;-)

http://thereeweare.blogspot.com/2007/08/its-in-bag.html

3:23 PM  
Blogger Isabel said...

Always fun...showed mine a while ago!

Here's the link!

6:28 PM  
Blogger Alpha DogMa said...

Late to the party - but I just showed you mine!

7:01 PM  
Blogger meno said...

What fun, i'll do mine soon.

I hate the word flabbergasted. It sounds like a room full of stale farts.

Moist is kind of icky.

11:25 AM  
Anonymous carmen said...

I'm way late to the party, but putting mine up tonight. My purse is not nearly as exciting as yours, though....

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Katie said...

I did this, it's fun! Although, mine doesn't have chocolate in it. *sigh*

1:06 AM  
Blogger WkSocMom said...

Okay, I'll very very late, but here's mine
http://notjustaworkingmom.blogspot.com/2007/08/signs-i-should-spend-more-time.html

3:41 PM  
Anonymous Sue at nobaddays said...

My mom takes the prize ... she did hers after I did mine. Check it out: http://nobaddays.wordpress.com/2007/08/25/genuinely-quite-scary/

6:56 PM  
Blogger chris said...

Hi,

We have recently launched a {designer handbag | designer watches | designer
jewellery } (choose one which is most appropriate) blog and we are looking
to spread the word and get in contact with similar websites to ours to
promote relevant blogs and websites.

Please email me at chriss714@gmail.com

Thanks
Chris

9:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice handbags, but I think that Gucci handbags are the best of all!

11:55 AM  

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