Her Bad Mother

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Potty On

This morning, Wonderbaby tugged on my arm as I lay on the sofa, sniffling and coughing and muttering softly about the evil of Bill Maher and of viruses in general. She tugged on my arm, and said, potty. Pee-pee. Go potty.



And so I dragged myself out from under the covers, and took her by the hand, and - asking, all the way, are you sure? you want the potty? - pulled out the little green Boon Potty Bench that we had tucked away for the toilet training that we felt sure wouldn't begin until she was two, and I helped her unlatched her diaper, and she sat her little round bottom upon the seat, and she tinkled.

And then she asked for her sunglasses, which I fetched, and she put them on. And then she tinkled some more.

And then she asked for paper, and I helped her dab her parts, and then we tossed the paper in the toilet, and we washed our hands. Then we went back downstairs and I took some more Tylenol and crawled back under the covers on the sofa and thought, what the f*ck just happened?

I considered the possibility that I'd dreamt it, or that it was an hallucination induced by the cocktail of Neo Citran and Tylenol that I've been taking - the sunglasses were, I thought, a particularly fantastical detail - but then I checked my camera:

I must leave the bathroom door open a LOT.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! I am impressed! Dawson just turned three and he refuses to go on the potty unless I beg him and bribe him!

Wonderbaby is so smart!

10:55 AM  
Blogger Run ANC said...

Hey - we bought the exact same potty bench!

Congrats to WB! The Boy is, I'm sure, going to reach the ripe old age of 3 and never touch the fashionable green potty.

10:59 AM  
Blogger PunditMom said...

Amazing! PunditGirl didn't get it until she was 3! Feel better. Maybe you should wear those glasses!

11:18 AM  
Blogger b*babbler said...

I'm so impressed. Way to go Wonderbaby!

And good timing too, eh? A little bit of happiness in the middle of the sick for mommy.

11:36 AM  
Blogger Avalon said...

Go WB!!! Good girl. Now, could you get her a stack of trashy Hollywood magazines to read while she's sitting?

11:51 AM  
Blogger Awesome Mom said...

That is amazing!!! I am green with envy right now.

12:14 PM  
Blogger S said...

She is on top of things, that WB.

And my goodness, that photo just ROCKS.

12:20 PM  
Blogger Phoenix said...

She's potty training herself. That's awesome.

Even in a daze, you take great pictures.

12:22 PM  
Blogger mamatulip said...

She and Oliver would get along just fine...he likes to throw things in the toilet after he's tinkled, too.

Congrats WonderBaby!! 'Atta girl!

12:40 PM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

You go girl (and spread the word to your BumpBud 'k?). Mom, this means we have got to map out all the clean public bathrooms in the Tdot ASAP (is clean public bathroom an oxymoron?).

Get better would ya? ;)

1:08 PM  
Blogger Namito said...

Rock ON Wonderbaby!

We have the exact same potty. Boon has some pretty neat products. Not a lot, but from what I've seen, all really well designed.

The Impling is totally into the peeing thang, and will happily empty the basin into the toilet and flush with glee...but forget it for poop. She asks for a diaper.

1:20 PM  
Blogger Girlplustwo said...

Nicely done, WB! I am so impressed. Now let your mama rest, sister...

1:31 PM  
Blogger The City Gal said...

Wow! Congratulations! WB rocks!

And the sunglasses, well, a girl has to keep up with fashion, even in the toilet!

1:37 PM  
Blogger m said...

Hooray, Wonderbaby! The sunglasses are a sweet touch.

1:40 PM  
Blogger Niksmom said...

She's a superstar! Love the shades!

2:01 PM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

WhooHoo! Who knew we'd all be so thrilled to hear of someone tinkling with sunglasses on?

2:02 PM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

'Sawesome. Pumpkinpie started about 18 or 20 months, then gave it up for a while. We didn't push it, knowing she was about to start daycare and one change at a time, I say, and she started again a month or two after turning two. So good.

And that is one cool potty bench!

2:06 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Wow! You're pretty lucky to get one of the self-trainers when it comes to the potty. Cordy is three on Friday and still just laughs when we ask her if she wants to use the potty.

2:11 PM  
Blogger painted maypole said...

i guess wonderbaby kows that big girls get haircuts, that big girls use the potty, and that big girls wear glamorous sunglasses

2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Count me in the jealous but proud group. Maybe WB can give Rosie a few pointers?

2:20 PM  
Blogger Tracey said...

oh that's awesome. it was TIME, you know? stuff like that doesn't happen until then, no matter how much we'd like them to.

congrats, lady.

2:41 PM  
Blogger flutter said...

Rock on, Wonderbaby!

2:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is so cool.

Tacy trained overnight. Like, woke up one morning and announced that she was going to use the potty from now on. Here's hoping you get so lucky!

2:46 PM  
Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

Wow! Big H didn't get it until he was almost 3 and then he was a bit reluctant. That potty can be scary!

2:56 PM  
Blogger Beck said...

I always get to the point where I think my children will be 16 and in diapers and then magically TA DA! they toilet train.
Good job, Wonder Baby.

3:16 PM  
Blogger Kyla said...

Way to go, WB!

When they are ready, they are ready.

The glasses are fantastic!

3:18 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Wonderbaby has a really cool potty! I wonder if they'd let you use that at Applebee's?

3:22 PM  
Blogger Creative-Type Dad said...

Wow! I wear my sunglasses while doing my business too!


3:53 PM  
Blogger Julie Pippert said...

Yep, a lot of girls do this. Both of mine did, albeit not straightforward thereafter. (In other words, think of this as the beginning, not the done part LOL.)

Way to go Wonderbaby! Wondergirl??

Using My Words

6:11 PM  
Blogger Jess said...


Love the photo - very 'surprised by the paparazzi' there

6:12 PM  
Blogger Julie Pippert said...

P.S. We're finished with a fold-up portable purse-sized Dora potty seat. Great for those out and about occasions.

P.P.S. I must be the only mean mommy in the world who didn't get her kids a baby potty. Not even a cool one that sings. I made them climb a stepping stool to the real potty and sit on a seat on that.

My skeeves hit defcon 4 at the idea of cleaning a baby potty and having it in rooms like the living room instead of the bathroom.

Using My Words

6:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Potty on, Dude!

Julie, I'm a toilet mom too. I'm just too lazy to have to bother with cleaning a potty. I tried, but the day it got kicked over onto the rug was the day it went in the garbage and everybody started peeing like a big girl.


8:09 PM  
Blogger Sarcasta-Mom said...

Too cute! No wonder you call her Wonderbaby :)

8:45 PM  
Blogger Sharon L. Holland said...

How exciting! And yes, I realize how very much my life has changed when I say that about toilet use but STILL! HOW EXCITING!


Bill Maher is an idiot. But he inspired my husband to guest post for the first time ever. Also exciting.

9:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my heavens, could Wonderbaby please give my sweet baby a phone call and let him know that this is how it shall go down when the time comes?

She's a keeper, C!

(feel better)

9:48 PM  
Blogger Pgoodness said...

Yippeee!! That's fantastic! Congrats WB!!
And we love that potty bench in our house. I'm hoping P. will want to use it SOON - we are soooo tired of the diapers!

10:04 PM  
Blogger crazymumma said...

A song by Corey Hart is running thru my head.

Wondergirl for sure. Big step!

get better Bad.

10:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yay! Isn't it cool when they just "get it"?

11:08 PM  
Blogger the mystic said...

I'm very grateful for my boys and never envy people who have girls --EXCEPT during potty training discussions!

11:24 PM  
Blogger mo-wo said...

Never argue with a toddler out for a whaz.

1:39 AM  
Blogger ms blue said...

She even knows the etiquette of picture taking on the potty. She's showing exactly the right amount of shoulder.

Yay for the potty skills! I hope you feel better.

2:01 AM  
Blogger jenB said...

I am also weeping w/ envy as Charlotte has just graduated to wearing underpants...OVER her diaper. Potty? I caaaan't. She will be 4 in January. I know I know, they all figure it out eventually, but it is really hard to see from here.

Your kid is cute as a freakin' button and a genius. I personally give her a metaphorical Genius Grant. Ohh! Mom should get credit too.


2:53 AM  
Blogger ewe are here said...

Oh, you're so lucky. Girls seem to be so much easier in this regard. I know lots of wee girls who, on their own initial initiative, just like WB, were completely potty trained before the age of 2.


We're still working on it.

3:16 AM  
Blogger Lady M said...

Such the life, to have to have photographic evidence to remember things. No really, I hope you feel better soon.

And amazed congratulations on the potty training!

5:20 AM  
Blogger floating in space said...

I am so impressed and jealous. Potty training has been a nightmare in our house. Congrats to you and Wonderbaby!

7:40 AM  
Blogger BOSSY said...

Most excellent. Her future's so bright, she has to wear shades.

7:45 AM  
Blogger Mimi said...

Oh sweet Jeebus. Look at her. All agape and disheveled and peepeeing. Did she have shoes on? Or was she replaying Britney-at-the-gas-station, in an ironic baby way?

Overthinking it ...

Over here, Munchkin peed on her father ...

9:48 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

someone, somewhere, really loves you. because this is an otherwordly gift.

wow. just wow.

10:03 AM  
Blogger Karla Zamora, Digital Analyst said...

Congrats to WB...hooray hooray. My Isa looks at the potty and runs screaming from the room.

Hope the plague will pass and you will feel better soon:)

12:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We are currently in the potty training phase here at chez Momish, so I feel the need to stand up and cheer Wonderbaby! Bravo!

Very impressive, especially when done with such style!

1:37 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

Yea Wonderbaby!

3:03 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Yeay for your beautiful little girl. I like how she's got that whole Flash dance shoulder thing going there. :-)

Most precious.

3:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very smart girl

...we all know it was the sunglasses that really did it though ;)

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wonderbaby is a total wonderkid :) yay!!

4:19 PM  
Blogger Major Bedhead said...

We have that potty! Of course, Boo won't use it, but still. We have it.

8:09 PM  
Blogger Maman said...


BTW, watch that door thing... cuz if it works at your house like it did at mine anytime you are in the bathroom will be designated as free time to chat and ask you questions...

10:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Way to go, WonderBaby! You said "I must leave the door open a LOT", does that mean you wear your shades when you pee, too? *giggle*

Kaitlyn has started saying "I pee! I pee!" when I go into the bathroom, so I think it's time to buy her a potty! The Boon, huh? OH, and are you feeling better? Sounds like you had quite the cold or something.

12:19 AM  
Blogger Girl con Queso said...

Um, you two are making it look ridiculously easy. And cool. Definitely cool.

12:29 AM  
Blogger becks said...

I read this yesterday morning and wsa seriously jealous. Then, mysteriously, my son (who is a month younger than WB) runs up and yells, "Pants!" at me, while furiously trying to remove his pants. I shrug and give him a hand. Next he yells, "Shirt!" SO again, I oblige. Next, he takes my hand and pulls me towards the washroom while taking off his diaper with the other hand. He points to the door knob and says, "Door!" Okay... We get into the washroom and he runs over to the toilet, "Poo-poo!" he's saying, "Poo-poo!"
I am shocked. Literally moments earlier I am reading about WB and wishing it could be so easy when my time comes. And here is my son, doing the exact same thing (though why he feels he needs to be naked to go potty, I don't know). Maybe it's just the new generation of kids? They train themselves.

And then he sits on the toilet, makes a few grunting noises, passes some gas and stands up. Next he faces the toilet, holds his penis for a second or two, spits in the toilet and looks at me with a big grin. "All done!" he announces as he flushes the toilet.

Maybe it won't be so easy after all... (oh! and we repeated this two or three times throughout the day).

8:38 AM  
Blogger Damselfly said...

I love it! If you're going to go potty, be fabulous about it.

12:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bill Mahr et al can suck it. It's a non issue as far as I'm concerned. I'm legally entitled to breastfeed my child anywhere I like and I exercise that right on a regular basis.

I hope you're feeling better soon.

3:39 PM  
Blogger Jenifer said...

That's awesome!

Hopefully she keeps up the interest... beware the potty regression though. My daughter was "trained" for 3 months until it became less fun and more like a chore. Then we had 3 more months of wet pants and "I want my diappy back!!"

7:35 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

Ah, Potty Training. I wonder if that day will ever come for us...

11:16 PM  
Blogger moosh in indy. said...

I leave the door open ALL THE TIME.
What kind of drugs are in your house?

8:36 PM  
Blogger Julie @ Letter9 said...

You're lucky. My sister also learned an early awareness of her, uh, bodily functions but did not choose to turn this into using the potty. Instead, she would just run up to my mother, squat down, pointing to her diaper, and yell "CHANGE!" It was another year still before she deigned to sit her round little butt on a potty.

12:50 PM  

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