Her Bad Mother

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Feels and Squeezes...

...'Cause you know that's what they really want, right?

Yep, it's time for the Dad-Blogger Totally Manly Handshake/Laddish Back-Pat/Hey Buddy Shout-Out.

Featuring the It's Not Easy Being Green Dancers!

Are we on yet?

But first, by way of introduction, a reflection on the Mommy-Blogger Love-In (thereby allowing HBM to jam last week's forgotten Weekly Squeeze in here)...

When I put the call out for posts celebrating mama-bloggers, I was hoping that it would provoke reflection about what makes this community (YES) and its members so great. That it would give us all pause to consider why we blog, in the fullest sense of participating in this community as both writers and readers. That it would cause us to look around and recognize the tremendous awesomeness surrounding us. That it would make us feel good.

And, that it would allow us all to indulge in some shameless link-whoring. 'Cause in my view, there ain't nuttin' wrong with that. We all got a little blog slut in us - let's embrace it. Sluts are fun.

So while all us blog-sluts were frolicking with our links, I noticed two things. First, that there were very few - until recently, NO - male participants. I realize that this was a Mommy-Blogger Love-In, but that didn't preclude guys from shouting out to the moms that they read. I know that they're reading, and I know that they like us. And doesn't every guy like parties where the girls all hug and tickle and get drunk and all kissy-faced? Still, I understand if this whole Love-In thing seemed to involve too much estrogen. It might have felt too much like putting on a dress. I get that.

But this lead me to the second thing: despite the hormone-gassing estrogen levels surging throughout the posts, there was still the occasional pause to consider the men. Mostly Dutch from Sweet Juniper, who is, according to some, a Mommy-Blogger in Dad's clothing. This, in any case, was the assertion of Mo-Wo, in her post 'Eclectic Kool-Aid Acid Test [Pattern]' (this would get prize for best title, if I was awarding such prizes), and Melanie in Orygun said much the same thing.* (As it happens, I also talked about Sweet Juniper in my own shout-out post. But I was shouting-out to Wood, not Dutch.)

(Hey. If Dutch is the Mommy-Blogger at Sweet Juniper, does that make Wood the Daddy-Blogger? Does that sort of thing go over in Detroit?)

I think that Dutch's possible status as a Drag Mom raises some important, or at least interesting, questions about what constitutes manliness in the blogosphere. (Is it possible to be manly while waxing poetic about your family in a public forum? Would one have to include stories about bullfighting and deep sea fishing to really man a blog up? In my opinion, no, but I tend to to be too literal about these things. I'd begin from the ancient Roman ideal of manliness - which is the root of our term virtue [vir is Latin for man] - and work up through the weakening of that ideal of manliness by Christianity, and on towards Rousseau's bourgeois man before turning to Hemingway and such figures as Michael Landon as Pa Ingalls [here I would be indebted to Dutch.] Finally, I would consider whether Dave Eggers can be considered to be manly, especially in comparison to Dog the Bounty Hunter, who may or may not be manly, depending upon where one stands on the issue of overcompensation with regards to manliness. After all of this, we might have an operating definition of manliness to work with.)

(Loves me this subject. Takes up a goodly amount of space in my dissertation.)

But, as always, I digress. Considerations of manliness in the blogosphere will have to be left for another day. (Men? Care to take me up on these questions?)

For the moment, our business is celebrating Dad-Bloggers, regardless of whether they are manly or only sorta manly or metrosexual (can one be manly and metrosexual?) or totally girly. And so we have...

The Great Dad-Blogger Shout-Out

There were a handful of posts composed for the express purpose of celebrating Dad-Bloggers. Wordgirl did hers before I even got the call for posts out. For her, there is no question that Dad-Bloggers are manly. The measure of a man, she say, is the depth of his love for his children. And a man that wears that love on his sleeve? HOT. A man that writes that love for all the world to read? Ovary-percolating hot. Her hotties: Chris at Rude Cactus, Chag at Cynical Dad and Nilbo. Reading them, apparently, will make you pant.

Mo-Wo carries the hot theme forward with "Red Hot Chili Papas," in which she proclaims her love for Dad-Bloggers and her indebtedness to them for drawing her into the blog world. It was sweet-talkin' Daddytypes, she says, that first lured her in; then came 'all good things t-shirt' on Sweet Juniper, and then MetroDad, and Dadcentric and Cheeky's Hideaway, and Jason et al. Melinor, in her post, grumbles that she already did a shout out dammit when she included Dutch in her Mommy Blogger Ode, but then goes all gushy fangirl all over again and repeats her Sweet Juniper praise before gushing all over Kevin, Matthew of Defective Yeti, DJ Blurb (Mr. Dooce), and her friends Axe, George and Fern.

And then just when you're thinking that Wordgirl, Mo-Wo and Melinor read a LOT of Dad-Blogs, Sarah of Sarah and the Goon Squad, from this day forward to be known as Totally Awesome Ultimate Tomboy Sarah (she sports blogs with the guys. Sports blogs.), says this: 'I read more Daddy Blogs than Mommy Blogs' and offers up the list to prove it: Crouton Boy, The Blogfathers, Dadcentric, Cheeky's Hideaway, Child's Play X 2, Cynical Dad, Dad Gone Mad, Dad2Twins, Genuine, Kemp, Lim Babies, MetroDad, Mr. Big Dubya, The Odd Mix and Rude Cactus. And Bump, Dutch, P-Man, Gene and Miles Etc. Aaaand Because I'm Your Father, Two Okapis, Poop and Boogies, Chocolate Makes it Better, The Hygiene Chronicles, Scott Rant Spot, Daddy in A Strange Land, The Jasper Chronicles, Not-For-Profit-Dad , Mr. Nice Guy, IFLYG, Pet Cobra and some sports blogs that are written by men who may or may not have children. And The Kaiser who contributes at Draft Day Suit.
Got all that?

So the blog-girls loves them their bloggy men and aren't afraid to say it. But MetroDad totally represented for the boy side of the gym and proclaimed loudly (and not for the first time) his appreciation for other Dad-Bloggers. And nobody called him a big ole girl for doing it.

Some that are on his current reading list: The Bradstein Household, And then there was a pickle..., Zygote Daddy, The Hygiene Chronicles, Denver Dad, VampDaddy, and Mo-Wo's fella, p-man.

Check all of these guys out. And check these guys too (mama bloggers shouted all over my comments about these guys, as well as those mentioned above, who I have not yet included below):

(In no particular order, because I am TIRED AS HELL and attempting alphabetic order would probably cause my head to pop clean off. And it is for this very reason that I cannot - CANNOT - sort through the multiple links above to figure out who was mentioned and how many times in comments and add them to the list below. I'll get to it eventually, though, and then we will have a big-ass Dad-Blogger list that I'll put up with the Mommy Blogger List. 'Kay?)

Tony from Creative Types
Cocktails with Kevin
Jeff (ViewFromTheCloud)

Have I missed anybody? Anyone that you want to add? Let me know!

Are we done? Can I break his legs now?


TO Momma's get-together!

So it looks like Friday, June 30th is our day. (Not everybody can make these date, I know, but no fear - this will only be the first of many!) The plan so far is this: a daytime gathering in the park with the babes, and reconvening for an evening drink after babes have been put to bed/to sitters/to husbands. Parks have been narrowed down to Dufferin Grove (central) and Withrow (east side). Cast your votes now (leave a comment here or e-mail me), and let me know if you plan to join us for one or the other or both gatherings (day and/or evening). Precise details will be posted once settled, in a few days.

All are welcome (and no - since some of you have asked - you don't absolutely need to have a baby.) Looking forward to meeting you!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It has been my Father's Day resolution to begin reading more daddy blogs, and I'm proud to say I've added three to my Bloglines feeds - Cynical Dad, mr. nice guy (who is freaking hilarious), and a new one - Simply SAHD.

Dads rule. I'm so lucky that my girls have such an awesome daddy. HBM, thanks again for spreading the love.

11:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The interesting thing about the daddy blogs is that they're all written by a very diverse group of individuals who are redefining what it means to be both a man and a father today. The fact that we can gush profusely or wax eloquently on the sheer love of our kids should in no way make us any less of a man. Hell, I probably spend more money on hair products than most mommy bloggers out there. Does that make me less of a man? (That's a rhetorical question.)

Besides, it's been pretty well documented that the rough-and-tumble Papa Hemingway model of parenting left much to be desired.

(By the way, I never read a lot of Hemingway but I know I can pretty much sum up everything he wrote by saying: men are men, women are women, drinking is good, lions are dangerous.)

In that vein, let me just say that (as you know) I'm an avid reader of both mommy AND daddy blogs. I love hearing the different perspectives. I love the way they each express their love for their kids. And I love hearing about how they deal with various issues of parenting. Yes, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. But let's always remember that those two planets are closer together than the distance between the the sun and the moon (ok, I totally made that up and I don't even think it's true. But like I always say, never let the truth get in the way of a good metaphor.)

Anyway, I'm loving this discussion that you're having on your blog, HBM. Not only do I find it very interesting, I think you offer an awesomely unique perspective on it all. I'm very glad to have found you lately and look forward to reading much more. And on behalf of all daddy bloggers out there, thanks for shining a light on our tiny corner of the blogosphere. You rock!

Hey Dutch! They called you a Drag Mom! Hahhaha! I laughed so hard at that moniker that Pink Zinfandel came out my nose! I'm never going to let you live that one down. But you know I love you, MAN!

11:22 PM  
Blogger Baby in the City said...

I feel so guilty and shameful commenting on Kermit and the Wonderbaby when there is such good content in the post, but I can't help it - the 2nd and 3rd photos are classics! Worthy of framing. I don't know how you caught those shots, hats off!

OK, back to the meat of the post. This particular post is going to be a reference guide for me. Witnessing - be it reading, seeing, hearing - men as loving fathers is highly appealing to me these days. I'm just such a lazy surfer/lurker, so thanks for the directory.

11:23 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

I didn't have time to write him a tribute, but I'd like to add an awesome dad blog written by Kurt, of http://kurtandsandy.blogspot.com.

11:30 PM  
Blogger Lindsay said...

I had the hardest time reading what you wrote because the pictures are just so darn CUTE, I had to keep scrolling down to see more!!!

11:52 PM  
Blogger Nichole said...

Me too, Lindsay! The pictures are absolutely precious.

And I'm drooling over how many daddy blogs you listed...I can't wait to read them!

(Great new layout by the way! I love green!!!)

11:53 PM  
Blogger ninepounddictator said...

Ok, a) I want that frog. Where did you get him..

and b) I wish I could come to the mommy blog-a-paloza....But I won't be in town. Sigh...I can't beleive I'm going to miss it...

Next time, next time!!!

12:02 AM  
Blogger nonlineargirl said...

Amazing photos. Apparently you are saying it isn't easy being dad.

12:36 AM  
Blogger The City Gal said...

Well, I am in Vancouver on Friday June 30th.

But, here is an offer. Next time, I can come and watch all the babies (ok, maybe 5 at a time) while mommies can talk in the park.

I loooooooove WonderBaby :D

12:40 AM  
Blogger Cristina said...

Man, I so wish I lived in Canada...not only for the free healthcare, but so that I could join your blogger gathering.

Those kermit photos....could they BE any cuter?

The new template...lovin' it.

Your daddy linkies...awesome. I've been needing to branch out to the opposite sex.

Thanks for another great post!

1:17 AM  
Blogger susan said...

I will so totally be sending you a link to a daddy-shout-out when the cloud of an impending crash is lifted from my computer... for now, please add these two sites to the list:
Dad vs Dad (http://www.dadvsdad.blogspot.com/)
Poop & Boogies

Two sites I found independently of each other then realized they've got more in common than just being daddy bloggers! Great sites, both of 'em... but that will all be said in my post (rather than taking up your comment space here!). Thanks for extending this love-in idea to include the guys!!!

7:31 AM  
Blogger Jezer said...

Ahh, man, I'm having a garage sale on the 30th and the 1st, there's no way I can make it. Maybe the next one (Expedia is only a click away, you know).

And I've got a LOT of reading to do.

7:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come on! The Friday of A LONG WEEKEND?

NOOOOOOooooooooooooooooOOOOOooooo! I'm leaving the city for that weekend to explore God's green country with the lakes, and the sunsets, and the forests.

I want to be at the inaurgral t dot bloggers meeting, but the friday of a long weekend? For real?

Now I go and mope elsewhere.

I'll be at the next one at least.

PS- I have never once read a dad blog. Wait, I think I visited MetroDad one time. That's it though. Maybe it's time to branch out.

8:02 AM  
Blogger metro mama said...

I can probably make both outings.

My vote is for Withrow park.

8:03 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

So many dads ... so little time! Thanks for the reading :)

Oh and those kermit photos - THE CUTEST!

I have meetings on the 30th during the day but could make an evening get together or depending on the timing of your park, I could stop by breifly but my son is in day camp so I'll be sans kids. Looking forward to it.

8:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good reads, great pictures...now I'm off to explore a few of your sugggestions.

10:34 AM  
Blogger themikestand said...

Awww, thanks for the linkage! Nice to know that the "bloggers-who-are-also-moms" community appreciates the menfolk (both stay at home and otherwise) who spout off about our families.

I had a hard time at first. Mostly because I didn't think I'd earned the Daddyblogger badge -- but then I realised that there isn't a test. (Somehow that seemed more prophetic as it rolled off my fingertips. Weird.)

10:35 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

My husband has a blog. He's still working on the manly thing. He's occasionaly starting to blog about my daughter and family life. He's workin on it. =o)


12:52 PM  
Blogger Kristi said...

How in the heck did you get Wonderbaby to pose like that? I loved those pics!

1:22 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

kfk - she's a poser. Just put her down somewhere and she'll bust a move.

1:40 PM  
Blogger jdg said...

How fortuitous! On Friday June 30, I will be in Vancouver performing my drag show at the Dufferin Pub! From what I hear, that's not far from Dufferin Groves. You ladies should really stop by, my show involves manlactation, sling-removal stripping, nipple-pad pasties, blindfolded diaper changing, and giving dirty looks to that old Chinese nanny over there who's 2-year old charge just knocked my baby off the rocking horse. "Oh no she di-ant!"

2:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my god, so many sweet links to check out.

I wish I could but I can't make the get-together. Keep me posted on further happenings, because like I said, I'm not in Toronto but I'm not all that far.

2:19 PM  
Blogger ms blue said...

Gots me some daddy surfin to do!

I'm loving the It's Not Easy Being Green Dancers. I can't help but wonder if my children would feel slighted if my desktop background featured one of these adorable shots.

Even though the 30th happens to be our wedding anniversary, I want to be there.

2:45 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

I take issue that Dutch is a mommyblogger. I think he's sort of a cross between MetroDad and Greg at Daddytypes - he loves his kid and he loves his toys. Sounds like a dad to me.

Not that there's anything wrong with being a mom. Of course.

2:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like that term...BLOG SLUTS!! I would like to read some daddy blogs..so thanks for the refs.

3:06 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

awesome. i need to check out Sweet Juniper, clearly.
Another one that I forgot, and enjoy (and I think you will too) is http://suburbdad.blogspot.com/
(confessions of a community college dean). he writes about academic life, but also about his family (see today's post for a giggle).

3:23 PM  
Blogger mr. big dubya said...

Wow - that MetroDad sure can get wordy, huh? I'd love to just say ditto to what he did say, but I did read Hemingway...a lot..and well, I don't use hair care products...often.

Thanks for the Daddy Blog love - much appreciated. You'll have to excuse me now, I need to go write a check out to Sarah.

3:41 PM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

I. Did. Not. Need. Anymore. Blogs. To. Read.

But since the great daddy blog shout out began i've been checking out the dads hard core. There is something sexy about a guy who loves his kid, that is fo' sho.

And now I don't have anytime to clean my house, because I'm reading a lot more blogs. Oh well.

9:49 PM  
Blogger crabbykate said...

Sadly missed here is my ABSOLUTE fave Defective Yeti http://www.defectiveyeti.com/ - I have such a huge bloggy crush on him. In the from-afar kind of way, of course...

And as for a T.O. hook-up on the 30th, count me in. I'll be the one looking relaxeed and uncomfortable at the same time. It's a gift, it's true.

11:22 PM  
Blogger Jeff and Charli Lee said...

Thanks for mentioning my site. My wife and kids are what define me and my stories, so there's always lots to talk about in my little corner of the world.

I read a wide variety of blogs - humor, daddy and mommy blogs included. I find that women especially have an extra fine-tuned sarcasm (what they're calling "snarkiness" these days?) that cracks me up.

11:36 PM  
Blogger mo-wo said...

i do have some concerns about the manliness of blog-dads. I read the precious post of Laid of Dad on the Mommyblogger crossroads Father's day essay specials and had to say this:

"Promise me you modern Dads won't get soooo sensitived up as to completely trash the tense affections of the Dads of yore. With all the hugging and actualization I do get a bit freaked that no 'modern' kids will experience the gravity of this sort of approval."

For next Father's Day I would love to see all the Dads on this list do a post for their Dads. Not, all about their love for their Dads but as a warp item... 'If my 68 year old Dad was posting on my blog today, it would go like this... "

ps.. thanks for all the attention, blush. You know I did do up that title with your wordsmith ways in mind; thanks tons for noticing. blush. blush

12:13 AM  
Blogger kevin black said...

When a mommy blogger and a daddy blogger love each other very much they link together and it's a very wonderful thing.

3:34 AM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

OK - the It's Not Easy Being Green Dancers ROCK!

I'm sad that I can't make the TO mom get together (very very sad) but I will be there next time (oh there will be a next time). Going to the in-laws for Canada Day weekend *sigh*.

I'm glad you introduced all these great dad blogs... now if I could just get some more time to surf! ahhhh!

9:01 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Mom-101: I totally agree that Dutch is not actually a mommyblogger. (He uses urinals, for one.) If he's a mommyblogger, most dad-bloggers are mamas, too... they do all share (and express) a deep love for their children, which as Wordgirl said, is abotu as masculine as you can get. Short of expressing your love for your children while chasing down bail jumpers, like Dog the Bounty Hunter.

12:23 PM  
Blogger Namito said...

Those big beautiful eyes! Did Kermit survive for the rest of the shoot?

Thanks to you I have expanded my reading list yet again. Daddytypes was actually one of the first sites I ever visited, as the Hub is a fan. F-Bomb was also great, though I think the author is writing more for Rice-Daddies now-a-days.

Um, are you taking pics of the Momma's get-together? I'd like to live vicariously through y'all till I can get out for a night of debauchery myself. At least have a drink for me. And let me know what it was later.


12:47 PM  
Blogger Papa Bradstein said...

Your writing is wonderful, the pictures are brilliant. I only wish that I'd found you sooner, but now I'm here to stay. And thanks for passing along MD's shout out.

1:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great shout out to the Daddy Blogs. I don't read all of them, but I have been known to read (ie: lurk) around. I am a slut that way. Thanks for all your great writing.

The pictures are beyond adorable.

Too bad I live in Detroit because it would be great to put faces to a lot of the blogs I read.

2:35 PM  
Blogger Charlie said...

amazing pictures

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you checked out Left of the Dial? He cracks me up. http://scottpeterson.typepad.com/leftofthedial/fambly/index.html.

Loved the Kermie pix!

8:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoops, I messed up that link, didn't I. Idiot.
Left of the Dial

8:28 PM  
Blogger tracey clark said...

For God sakes-those pictures! Those pictures!
You're awesome.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Daddy L said...

Thanks for the shout-out! Appreciate it, truly. What I find interesting since becoming a dad is that all the other dads I've come to know (online and in - gasp - person) are all devoted completely to their kids.

The abusive, uninvolved fathers - are they becoming extinct? I hope so.

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love your site! Have you checked out

yet? He's great!

5:06 PM  

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