So, I decided: I like myself the way that I am.
Also, I discovered that if you put a light blond rinse on platinum hair, you basically come out with exact same hair that you started with, at the expense of a bathroom towel or two, and very possibly your dignity. (Scene at drugstore - Saleslady: can I help you find something? Me: no, thank you, I'm fine. Saleslady: that kind of color won't cover grays, you know. Me: that's fine, I don't know that I want to cover it. Saleslady: Are you sure? Because I can recommend... Me: OH FERCHRISSAKES PLEASE.)
Three days ago, pre-Clairol:
I managed to make myself look pretty much exactly the same, which was kinda to be expected, since I purchased Clairol Extra-Light Platinum Blond #16, which is like my exact color. Also, apparently, I managed to intercept some communications from outer space with my camera (yes, the picture was recorded to camera and downloaded as you see it above, complete with spectral rock images.) Something to do with rocks and dirt and some kind of belly-like image? It was telling me to stay natural, I think, and also, maybe to get pregnant. Or, maybe, that staying natural is only reasonable when one is pregnant? Whatever.
I know signs from the gods when I see them. I'll keep myself the way that I am, and be happy about it.
Thank you and goodnight.