I am spectacularly, hormonally cranky today. You don't want to be anywhere near me, because I guarantee you that you will not be able to say the right thing. Just ask my husband. This mood has been going on for two days now, and I think that he's considering wearing both earplugs and a jockstrap. You know, to protect the vulnerable parts.
So, there is just no readable prose forthcoming from me today. Or, probably, tomorrow. Unless you count the mocking of celebrity penises readable prose. In which case, you're in luck - I've had a lot to say about celebrity penises of late.
(If you are easily offended or weak of stomach or in the presence of small children, do not click on the first two of the above links. Just don't. I warned you.)