Her Bad Mother

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Humanity I Love You

The world, sometimes, is an ugly place. A spectacularly ugly place. A place that is made all the uglier for the fact that its ugliness creeps in at the edges, smothering the beauty in its path. When you look at it through dreamy or sleepy eyes - rose-colored glasses, I think is the term - it seems unparalleled in beauty - a baby's smile, peonies in first bloom, a new Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie - until you blink and rub your eyes and look more closely and realize that in the shadows lurks such ugliness as you have never imagined. And suddenly the baby's smile fades, and the peonies wither, and the Buffy movie turns out to be a cinematic crime of such epic proportions to prevent you from ever seeing a movie again.

It's the kind of ugliness, as I said, that smothers and warps beauty, turning the world ugly for no reason other than proclaim the victory of ugliness. So it is, for example, that people proclaim that an image of beauty and hope - an image of a small child nursing her infant doll - is something sordid, in order to assert their belief that nursing is ugly and that bodies are ugly and that any practice of nurture that does not accord with their limited view of what constitutes love and nurture is ugly. So it is, for example, that people proclaim that the marriage of two people who love each other and want to love and care for each other for the entirety of their lives is a deviation, simply because the people who want to marry are not of different sex, in order to assert their belief that love is ugly and that sex is ugly if these do not accord with their limited view of the character and purpose of love and sex. And so by making these assertions, they drag in the cold specters of prurience and judgment and demand that we view these unarguably beautiful things - playful joy being derived from an act of nurture, the determination of two hearts to be joined in committed love - through a chilly hateful fog. Everything takes on the cast of ugliness through such a fog. Everything.

Such a fog creates hate where none existed before, where none should have existed before. I hate those who would make me second-guess a beautiful photograph of my daughter, who would force me to defend encouraging her in something - indulging the impulse to play at motherhood, to play at nurture, to teach herself the practices of love and care - that should require no defense, none at all. I hate those who would compel me to shake my fists at the state of California and shout words like evil and stupid and unfair, who would drag me into the ring to defend, again, something that should be beyond defense, something that should just be received as a given blessing - more love in the world, more hearts bound to other hearts, more hearts in exulting in the joy of sharing a life.

There is nothing sexual about a child pretending to nurse. There is nothing sordid about two men or two women loving each other. That I even have to draw together in a written breath the words sexual-child-nurse and sordid-two-men-two-women-loving is ugly and wrong because it just perpetuates the ugliness, it just gives it air to breathe, it just acknowledges that it is there and that fills me with anger, so much anger, and so the cycle of ugliness grinds on.

So I am choosing, now, to refuse the ugliness. I am not going to argue or rant or defend. Beauty needs no defense. It just is. And I am going to celebrate it.

This is beauty:

Let's celebrate it. Maybe, by celebrating it, we can chase the ugliness back into the shadows.

Teach your child to nurse a dolly. Tell your child that Barbie can fall in love with Barbie and that Ken can fall in love with Ken. Tell them that love - good love, strong love, love that doesn't hurt - is never ugly. Tell them, teach them, that caring for other beings, is always beautiful, no matter what it looks like. Tell them to fight ugliness by celebrating beauty. And you do the same.

Let's all do the same.

(Humanity i love you because you
are perpetually putting the secret of
life in your pants and forgetting
it's there and sitting down

on it)




Blogger Mimi said...

Yes. Exactly right.

2:56 PM  
Anonymous Goldfish said...

That photo is beautiful. And love is beautiful. And you know what else? This post is beautiful.

2:57 PM  
Anonymous Goldfish said...

That photo is beautiful. And love is beautiful. And you know what else? This post is beautiful.

2:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are exactly right. I unknowingly opened up a facebook status storm by complaining about how I was not a fan of California holding up Prop 8 (Okay, maybe I didn't say it like that. Maybe I said that I was hoping the state would go ahead and fall off into the ocean ... or something as equally pleasant as that) because I choose to believe that marriage is marriage regardless of who is involved (with the exception of children and puppies).

Plus, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your daughter knowing how to breastfeed. Any action that is loving, that shows care for others -- I don't understand how it can ever be questionable.

Live and let live, yo. And with that, I'll get off my soapbox.

3:08 PM  
Blogger heidi daisybones said...

You're keeping me from total despair with this post. Bless ya.

3:15 PM  
Blogger AiringMyLaundry said...

Fantastic post.

You are so right.

Oh, and I love that picture.

3:28 PM  
Anonymous Colleen said...

You couldn't have said it better! That is one of the most innocent, beautiful pictures I have ever seen!

3:31 PM  
Blogger Irene said...

Amen to that you beautiful woman. You said it right as usual and I sure as hell wish there were more people in the world in important positions who were like you.

3:34 PM  
Blogger Mr Lady said...

Bra tothefucking VO.

3:36 PM  
Blogger Little Monkies said...

I looked across the table the other night to see my children, my husband, my lesbian friends, and their twins all eating, joking and having fun. A normal Saturday night for us. All I could hope was "geez, maybe we've broken a cycle here." I was raised to believe that being gay was wrong and horrible. My children look at female couples and male-female couples without difference. I'm ready for the day they come home to question why it is that others think it wrong. But it's easier to go there than undo the other crap. Thanks for your fantastic insight, as always.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Psyche said...

Amen. And I love that photo.

3:42 PM  
Blogger MommiePie said...


3:48 PM  
Blogger zchamu said...


Although I do have to laugh at her holding the baby doll by the neck. I'm pretty sure that's not a standard football hold.

3:49 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Amen, Catherine! Amen!

Breastfeeding is beautiful and love is beautiful, too - no matter the genders of those involved.

3:55 PM  
Blogger Classy Fab Sarah said...


The USA needs to take a gigantic dose of "stay the hell out of everyone's business".

And by stay out, I mean live and let love.

Well said.

3:59 PM  
Anonymous FireMom said...

I have a picture of my oldest son nursing his Fire Doggie doll while I was nursing his younger brother one afternoon in bed. The smile on his face is one of pride.

Beautiful post.

4:00 PM  
Blogger Jaden Paige said...

Friggin right!!

That photo swells my heart :) As does this post. Thank you.

4:00 PM  
Anonymous feefifoto said...

I really think it's going to happen in California. If Iowa can do it, and Massachusetts, and Vermont, and possibly New York, California can. I feel so sad for everyone whose existence is being denied.

4:11 PM  
Blogger Jessi said...

I'm totally with you. With you to the point that I can't talk about it because I'll either end up yelling at the computer screen like an idiot or crying at the computer screen like a loser.

So, instead, I'll say that the new "Buffy" movie is the worst idea ever!! Do these people seriously believe that the same fan group that resurrected Firefly will stand for this. Hmph.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Magpie said...

Yes. And yes again.

4:14 PM  
Blogger Joy said...

YES!! and YES!!

Thank you for stating this so eloquently. The world needs more love and acceptance.

4:28 PM  
Anonymous JR said...

I'm a long time reader of your blog. I stumbled across this Jill Bolte video, thought you'd appreciate it too. http://www.carecrunch.com/2009/05/16/how-it-feels-to-have-a-stroke/


4:32 PM  
Blogger GingerB said...

I love that you took this picture of your daughter and that you posted it with pride. My baby doesn't nurse well because she started out in the hospital but I pump around the clock for her, and my stepsons and toddler know that even if they have to wait for me to finish sometimes, it is all about giving the love to the baby. I am proud I taught them that. You are so very right, Baddie. I'm going to go hug one of my gay friends so I can feel better about the world today.

4:35 PM  
Blogger Angela said...

I have a similar picture of my daughter. I cannot BELIEVE you were given a hard time about it!! Shame on people. SHAME!

Angela <><

4:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel very sad about the verdict in California. I look forward to the day when love is celebrated not only here in Canada but across the US and around the world.

And I love that photo of your daughter. :)

4:42 PM  
Blogger Rachael said...

And get this...even little boys nurse toys! I was so happy when my then 2 yo nursed his, as it meant the breastfeeding was totally normalised for him, and hopefully he will be a great support to a future partner if they ever have a child.

Anyway it's totally ridiculous, and I think most people don't get it until they have actually nursed a child themselves.

5:08 PM  
Anonymous Lynn said...

When we had our third, my older daughter would often pretend to nurse. I thought it was adorable! Stick to your guns, there's nothing shameful here.

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said...

I couldn't believe the court decision. Honestly. COULD. NOT. BELIEVE.

Thank you for this lovely post.

5:26 PM  
Blogger ...k... said...

coming out of longtime lurker/reader status to say I LOVE YOU!!!

This post is wonderful, and you are spot on - love should be celebrated, not denigrated.

and that picture is so adorable it makes my ovaries ache.

5:32 PM  
Blogger KB said...

Beautifully put.

6:33 PM  
Blogger The Girl said...

I could weep. I'm 13 weeks pregnant with my own little one, and I hope one day he or she mimics something beautiful like breastfeeding. I truly, fiercely hope one day he or she finds true love, WHOMEVER THAT IS WITH. How dare anyone pervert these beautiful things with their cast down glances, with their judgemental sneers? Shame on us? SHAME ON THEM.

6:34 PM  
Blogger Tuesday Girl said...

I am teaching my kids that love is love no matter who you love. The heart wants want it wants and if it is not your cup of tea, good for you.
If it is MY cup of tea good for me.
really if people just mined their OWN business and families we wouldn't have a Country falling apart, kids with no families, violence, and abuse.

7:06 PM  
Blogger D said...

When I brought our youngest home from the hospital, my 2.5 year old immediately hoisted her shirt and pretended to feed her "baby." Of course, I took a picture, and it's one of the most precious I have. There's NOTHING wrong with it!

Thanks for posting this. I agree with you 100%!

7:26 PM  
Blogger Erin said...


7:37 PM  
Blogger mek said...

A-freaking-men to it all.

8:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My younger brother nursed his baby Doug. Even in the middle of Canadian Tire...much to my fathers embarrassment.
He is a well adjusted adult. Who is awesome and considerate with his niece and nephew.

8:17 PM  
Blogger Momma Sunshine said...

Love the photo. Both of my girls "nursed" their dollies when they were little, too. Such a beautiful thing.

8:32 PM  
Anonymous Sarcastica said...

Catherine, I LOVE LOVE LOVED this post. It was so beautifully written, I cried. I agree with everything and more you said here. I'm tired of the ugliness where there should be no ugliness.

8:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a picture of my three year old son nursing his little bunny and when I saw him do it, it made me want to cry. It is such a nuturing act and the fact that he is imitating it is wonderful. I see nothing wrong with it-its what he sees me doing with his baby sister and thinks its completely natural. I hope that that innocence always stays with him.

8:38 PM  
Blogger Aimee said...

So often your posts perfectly state what I have been feeling or thinking. Thank you!

My husband said last week that he hopes our daughter nurses her baby dolls. I am dumbfounded that someone could think that was abuse.

8:39 PM  
Anonymous Kris said...

My daughter breastfeeds her babydolls as well, and I find it so sweet. I've had other moms over for playdates (ones that bottle fed, for whatever reason they chose to do so, I'm not judging) look away with actual disgust. How could that be disgusting? That picture is really beautiful.

What an incredibly written post. Absolute brilliance. Thank you for writing it.

8:58 PM  
Blogger karengreeners said...


8:59 PM  
Blogger Jess said...

I just don't understand how love could be so wrong.

9:04 PM  
Blogger Animal said...

Thank you. So well-written, and your plaintive cry to celebrate beauty reverberated with me, and so will reverberate further in the world…and then more beauty will be celebrated.

9:34 PM  
Anonymous Trista said...

Once I stopped hyperventilating about the Whedon-less BTVS movie (thanks for that bit of sunshine, ugh), I read your beautiful post and kept thinking "hear, hear." I love that your daughter instinctually wanted to nurture her baby, it's lovely that she equated nursing with caring and loving. As for same-sex marriage, this is one of the times when I am thankful that I live in Canada (and I don't want that to sound arrogant, I'm just grateful that we are a bit ahead of the curve in this area, or at least not behind it). I don't want more rights than anyone else, and they don't deserve them any less than I do.

10:19 PM  
Anonymous Kaye said...

AMEN!! *applause*

10:32 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Darling, I want to bottle you, cross the border with you, then uncork you all over the State of California right now.

Also, that Denny's in Asheville.

We need more HBMs in the world that's for sure.

11:45 PM  
Anonymous Melody said...

I agree. And you won an award at my blog where my 2.5 year old sometimes tandem nurses her dolls.

12:08 AM  
Anonymous Lynn @ Walking With Scissors said...

That photo is beautiful. My son used to nurse his baby doll on his belly button while I nursed my daughter. I thought it was awesome then and I think it's awesome now. There are some people in this world who just need to de-bunch their panties and learn about the word acceptance.

1:00 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

::standing ovation::

2:26 AM  
Blogger Amy Ruth Webb said...

You said it!

4:48 AM  
Blogger Teacher Mommy said...

I'm pretty sure I nursed my dollies when I was a kid. I also grew up in a country where nursing is so taken for granted--and boobs, in general, viewed as tools for such activity--that women in their homes and the more rural places routinely go around topless for easy access. For the babies, that is.

It was so strange to me to be told that I needed to cover up more or perhaps nurse my sons in another room when my father-in-law was around, because it made him uncomfortable. Sorry, bub, it's my baby and my boobs!

And LOVE e.e. cummings. Brilliant man.

8:35 AM  
Anonymous Jennifer said...

You are amazing. Thank you for making my cry (again). So well said; the e.e. cummings was just icing on the cake.

9:38 AM  
Blogger Mama Seoul said...

Allowing more people to marry does not undermine my marriage at all. The high divorce rate undermines the institution of marriage more than allowing more people to marry.

Also, I really don't why some people would be o.k. with civil unions but not marriage. Why care? A government recognized union should be called the same thing for homosexuals and heterosexuals and if people want to describe themselves as married or partnered or coupled or whatever, they should. It doesn't make any difference or have any effect on my marriage.

All this energy would be better spent encouraging pre-marital counseling and couples counseling to help lower the divorce rate or very simply, for the people to put down their signs and go focus on their own marriages!

My son nursed his doll as well until he figured out that he didn't have breasts, then, being the concerned little daddy that he is, he asked me to nurse his doll!

The picture of your daughter is beautiful!

9:42 AM  
Blogger JChevais said...

Anglosaxon puritanism stinks and is hypocritical.

I'm really glad that I live in a "Latin" country now where people are allowed to live their lives and make their own choices.

9:58 AM  
Blogger Upstatemamma said...

First off I must say I love this post!!! And I love that picture! Now let me tell you a story. I run a daycare and one day one of the four year old boys was saying he was going to marry another four years old boy that he was really good friends with. It was cute. Well, one of the five year old girls turned around and scolded him saying that boys cannot marry other boys. Well, before I could get into the conversation and correct her she went on to say that she was going to marry her brother. Now she is a kid but what got to me was that her parents had actually taken the time to tech her that boys could not marry other boys and girls could not marry other girls but let her go around saying she was going to marry her brother. TO me that kind of haterd is ugly.

But I agree we should celebrate beauty and that picture of your daughter is beautiful!!

10:14 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

Absolutely!! I offer you a standing ovation and a heartfelt, "hear! hear!"

10:17 AM  
Anonymous Julie @ The Mom Slant said...

We will all keep teaching our children so that they will not have to lament such ugliness themselves.

10:18 AM  
Anonymous LAVANDULA said...

love and nurturing and caring are always beautiful

10:37 AM  
Anonymous Jill said...

Love this post. I couldn't agree with you more.

10:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a photo of my child that I treasure. He was around 2 and decided to give his dolly some "drinks". My four year old and 2 year old, both boys, ask me if I want some of their "drinks" and I think it's beautiful that they want to share that with me. And yes, I have explained to them that they will not likely grow up to nurse their own children (though it is possible but that's another story!)

10:56 AM  
Anonymous pkzcass said...

Went to the links and saw the little girl in the original photo that sparked such a storm. Your little one is much cuter and should have been the model. : )

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Jody said...


12:15 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Good for you.

It is distressing that the haters had to try and take such a beautiful picture of your daughter and make it ugly. I said TRY, they didn't, they can't no matter how hard they push their narrow views on the world.

They will never win, because there are strong, loving, open minded people like yourself and most of your readers. We can keep them in check by refusing to bend to their hate and teach our children acceptance and understanding.

Thank you for your beauty.

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Chaos Control said...

Standing O.
Standing O!!!

3:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"So I am choosing, now, to refuse the ugliness. I am not going to argue or rant or defend. Beauty needs no defense. It just is."

Spoken with the soul of a perfect tyrant, or maybe just the soul of a perfect philistine. Look, I'm all for leaving some things be. Sometimes it may be be the best option. However, only someone monumentally selfish or bottomlessly shallow could look at the various manifestations, assertions, expressions and intimations of beauty in their life, in the world, in literature, in history, etc, and think that none of their particular understanding of it requires no further consideration. Great minds don't think alike, and great souls even less. Still less would one have reason to believe that beauty can be packaged and mass-distributed in some simple or single social construct. Look, if you're happy with yourself, fine, but then keep to yourself if you're not willing or able to subject your own sensibility to any scrutiny. Beauty is found in many forms, not always perfectly compatible. Love of humanity which fails to take that into account will only ever amount to love of self: tyrant or philistine.

3:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On a simpler note: people who say anything along the lines of "I don't understand how love can't be celebrated", "why would you want to stop love", "what's wrong with love", etc. - you're all idiots. You can't think of any form of love, any at all, that isn't perfectly alright? Seriously? You're incapable of making distinctions of any kind at all when it comes to love? Really? This is a question apart from marriage, homosexuality, or anything else. Just anyone who suggests that they cannot distinguish between kinds, degrees, qualities, etc., of love, isn't just a moron, but probably lying, or at least incapable of any degree of thought: any and every person who says something like that has, does and will object to some forms of "love", for any number of reasons.

4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this picture! I have a similar one framed in our house of our daughter nursing her baby.

4:46 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Anonymous: really? All that from "beauty needs no defense"? Methinks you have some issues.

First of all: claiming something along the lines of "beauty is truth; truth, beauty" is neither tyrannical nor philistine. I did not say that beauty warrants no examination or interrogation; I said that it requires no defense. Which, you know, is a suggestion that you can find in the works of any number of philosophers, ancient and modern, not least Socrates, Aristotle, Kant and Hegel. Sure, I was suggesting that certain things have a claim to the title of beauty, but that's a different argument to address (whether the things I cite are in fact beautiful, as opposed to whether there is such a thing as 'Beauty' qua an ideal).

And note that I did NOT state that any and all forms of love are de facto beautiful - I distinguished 'good love, strong love, love that does not cause pain' - which excludes a whole lot of instances of "love" that one might reasonably argue are *not* beautiful. But that doesn't mean that it is unreasonable or ignorant to state as a fundamental that LOVE as an ideal is an absolute good. Plato's Symposium is a good reference here. So is Aristotle's Nichomachean Ethics. And yes, I'm being braggartly here - I've spent going on two decades as a student of philosophy, and love and virtue are my area of specialization, so I know whereof I speak.

This post is rhetoric; it borders, at points, on hyperbole. It's NOT a treatise on beauty.

I welcome criticism, but a little thoughtfulness - and a more careful reading of what's being criticized - is encouraged.

5:43 PM  
Blogger Redneck Mommy said...

Well here I was going to argue Anonymous's comment only to discover Cat herself did a much better job than I ever could.

Better to school them than to swat them I suppose.

Just not as much fun.

5:55 PM  
Blogger Avasmommy said...

It's too bad anonymous didn't actually READ the post. If she/he had, I don't think you'd be having this argument, Catherine.

Or maybe you would. Some people just like to toss rocks in the puddle just to watch the ripple effect.

5:55 PM  
Anonymous Tatiana @ averygoodyear said...

Nursing my daughter has been such a beautiful experience, and I would be honoured if, someday, she wanted to try and replicate that bond with her dolly. I'm getting all teary-eyed thinking about sitting on the couch feeding her little sibling while she pretend nurses a doll beside us. It would be amazing.

Insofar as Prop 8 -- I'm so disgusted that it's even an issue. Why is it okay for this prejudice to be written into law? You cannot discriminate against someone for the colour of their skin, but you can discriminate against them because of who they love? How does that remotely make sense, especially in a country that tries to present itself as a world leader?

This was a really lovely, insightful, and passionate post. Well done.

5:55 PM  
Anonymous nic @mybottlesup said...



5:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I disagree with Redneck Mommy. Lemme swat 'em! But first I need to re-read this beautiful post again and again.

6:04 PM  
Blogger Overflowing Brain said...


I could swear that there was an old court decision one time that said that separate was inherently unequal. But clearly, that doesn't apply to love and it doesn't apply to people who are not hereosexual.

We'd be nothing without our differences. Why the hell can't we just celebrate them?

I'm moving back to California next week and you bet your ass I'll be screaming from the top of my lungs for some real change. It's time. We've waited too long.

6:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I did not say that beauty warrants no examination or interrogation; I said that it requires no defense"

You prefaced it with the statement: "I am not going to argue or rant or defend" - argue is the key term there.

"I did NOT state that any and all forms of love are de facto beautiful"

Ah, but I did not state that you did. I put in a separate post, in response to various posters above who made statements along those lines. Although you did write: "Tell them that love - good love, strong love, love that doesn't hurt - is never ugly". Now, you could say that "good love", "love that doesn't hurt" are qualifiers here. Fine. But then it has to be argued why this form of love is good and doesn't hurt versus that one, etc. Its not simply self-evident.

6:20 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Anon - I said that I wasn't interested in ranting/defending/arguing the points against those who were claiming the things cited were ugly. Which is an entirely reasonable position to take. Some arguments are futile. Some arguments go nowhere. Some arguments just degrade both sides.

This is a blog, not a lecture hall. Just because I say that I'm not willing to argue a certain point, doesn't mean that I'm opposed to *argument*. It means that within the context of a post, I'm not going there.

Although for the record, I'm not a relativist, and have little patience for relativism in most cases. So I'm quite willing to go to the mat to defend certain things as 'right' or 'better' and I agree that claiming why any form of love requires further discussion, but again: BLOG. I reserve the right to limit the scope of my arguments. And would prefer to not be called a tyrant or philistine for doing so.

6:55 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Nic - that was the best all-caps comment I've ever received, I think ;)

9:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do any of you actually have real jobs? Or do you just sit around all day and breastfeed? Just curious. You're special and cool, it must be really great to "be" you. Get a life already.

9:13 AM  
Blogger Lez said...

Thank you Catherine! Just thank you. You have said it all! Yes, the picture of your daughter is beautiful, and yes, we should all be able to love who we love.

Don't let that pissant anonymous poster tick you off. I had a similar debate with someone when we were passing same-sex marriage in my state (Vermont). While I used my real name, he was a coward, who hid behind being anonymous! If you feel so strongly and think you're so right, use your real name! Stand up out and proud!

Catherine, you're the best!

10:30 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Anon 9:13, no we pretty much just sit around and breastfeed all day. I tried to order a life over the internet once, but the postage was too expensive and since I don't have a job (since I just sit around and breastfeed all day) I had to cancel the order.

Oh well. Maybe next year.

5:27 PM  
Blogger Issa said...

LOL at Mom101. Great answer.

Real job Anon? What is that again. Oh wait, raising our children isn't, is it? Since we don't get paid for it, it's not real? Get a life.

You can't win with these people. You put a kid in daycare and you are guaranteeing them to a life of depravity and drug use. Stay home with them and you are an idiot, incapable of getting or keeping a job. Some days, I wish they'd all get together and make up their dang mind.

Catherine, I adore that picture. Beautiful little baby girl. Don't let the trolls get you down C. Hell, one told me to kill myself yesterday. Serious. Am imagining how horrible their lives must be, to spew such hateful things all of the time. Hugs to you.

5:34 PM  
Blogger Issa said...

Oh and because I got caught up in the nonsense and forgot what I intended to say: Thank you, thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my cracked heart, for your last paragraph. My family was hoping that the state of California would pull it's head out of it's ass the other day, because my SIL has planned her wedding already. They will still get married, but sadly it won't be recognized. Yet. One day, hopefully sooner than later it will be.

5:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And guess what, some of us DO have "Real Jobs" AND "sit around" and breastfeed (though if you have any clue about breastfeeding, you'd know its not just about sitting around). Oh yes, and have lives as well.

Ugh, what's the point.

To the OP - great post & awesome photo. Both my kids nurse their dolls too. Boy & girl.

5:42 PM  
Blogger Jen at Semantically driven said...

Here's a story about a little girl at kindergarten not being allowed to breastfeed her doll there http://me3boo.blogspot.com/2009/04/breastfeeding-is-socially-unacceptable.html.

9:15 PM  
Blogger alejna said...

A beautiful photo and a beautiful post.

I'd write more, but it might keep me from sitting around and breastfeeding all day.

10:26 PM  
Blogger Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I never knew breastfeeding could be seen as anything other than what it is: feeding your child...

My daughter used to nurse her dolls all the time. It's all she knew. And my husband and I thought it was endearing and wonderful.

Great post.

9:06 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I am going to have my youngest daughter read this post tomorrow. I hope that she, like me, has a tiny bit of faith restored in humanity. The words you wrote touched my heart and made me cheer! That is a beautiful photo. I wish I had been able to breastfeed all my children but it wasn't meant to be. I am proud my first of four got some of the privilege.

Showing my daughter her mother isn't the only one who is ticked off about shooting down same sex marriage will do her good. She is 15 years old. We both pray when "the day" comes for her, the day when she finds "the one" and wants to marry, she will be able to do so. My gorgeous girl is gay and wants to have the right to marry the woman of her dreams and to have that union recognized.

Thank you for the post, and for reminding me there still are many good people in the world.

12:34 AM  
Blogger caramama said...

Since you posted that pic of your daughter nursing a doll in that previous post, I have occasionally thought about it. I just think it's wonderful to see a child pretending to feed a baby by nursing instead of bottle-feeding, mainly because it is so rare. I simply do not understand how people can take exception to it or freak out about having their kids see a woman breastfeed. Thank you for posting the picture again!

But don't even get me started on the state of CA and this latest ruling!!!

3:35 PM  
Blogger Tina Post said...

Okay, I'm incredibly late getting to this post. Because, well, life. But to add one more small voice to the chorus: very simply, thank you.

6:25 PM  

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