Her Bad Mother

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Story's The Thing

Here's the thing about maintaining a personal blog: one sometimes forgets that one is not simply maintaining a diary - albeit a carefully thought-out diary, one that is edited for style and for grammar - but publishing, virtually, a sort of memoir or collection of essays or some combination of these. One forgets, sometimes, that one has made, is making, one's story public.

I forget this all the time.

The primary danger, here, is not that one might unintentionally reveal something that one might later regret. We most of us hesitate with our cursors hovering over the Publish Post button every time that we write, mentally reviewing what we've said and how we've said it and worrying over how it might be received. The Publish Post button reminds us, in the crucial moment, that we are in fact publishing, making public, our stories, our rants, our confessions. What the Publish Post button does not remind us, however, is that with every post that we publish we are constructing and furthering a narrative that is followed by tens or dozens of readers, tens or dozens of readers who might well want to know what became of that problem, was that issue resolved, what happens next? They follow a narrative, and our blogging platforms don't provide tools for reminding us that we're weaving such narratives as we write. And because we are not reminded, we - I - sometimes forget.

I was reminded - uncomfortably - of this the other day when I wrote a confused, rambling post that was a variation on another post that I'd written a few months ago. I knew that I had already written on the topic - whether or not I wanted to keep open the possibility of having a third child - and was just trying to sort my feelings out further. It was a post that I wrote for myself, not one that was intended to advance my story, such as that story is. And that pissed at least one reader off, a little: she protested that I was just retreading old ground and that it was frustrating and why didn't I make more of an effort to let readers know what I was doing to prevent what seemed to be my inevitable slide into whiny insanity - for example, what had I done about the sleep issues? Had I taken any readerly advice? - because, seriously, if I kept this up - and certainly if I made the terrible mistake of committing mental suicide by further childbearing - she, for one, was not going to be able to read me anymore. (She later apologized for articulating herself so harshly, and made clear that she was just frustrated because she is a fan of the blog, and I'm totally comfortable with that, so please don't smack her in comments.) Which: OUCH.

The comment struck a nerve, because a) I'm sensitive about the possibility that this blog can be, you know, angst-ridden at times, and believe me, my angst bores even me, and b) oh, gawd, I like totally can't maintain the thread on my own stories, can I? But there're reasons why I don't always (read: almost never) maintain a narrative thread: because sometimes doing a follow-up on how nothing has changed and how I'm still angsting out over the same old miscellaneous bullshit seems, I don't know, tiresome, and because - more often than not - I forget. Some other issue comes up - the girl pours canola oil on the living room sofa, or I become obsessed yet again with the finality of vasectomies - and whatever thread I had begun to weave about sleeplessness or feeding baby or finding long lost siblings gets lost.

Which is fine, in a way: this is my story, and if it's disjointed, so what? But still: I like a coherent narrative thread, and so far as coherence is possible in personal narratives, why not pursue it? I can't promise that I'll follow up on every little issue, but I can promise to make an effort to not just abandon cliffhangers (I laugh even as I write this. Who among you was waiting with bated breath to see if Her Bad Mother would ever sleep again, dun dun dun DUN?!?!?) So, to that end: the first of a series of semi-occasional, whenever-the-hell-I-feel-like-it, will-probably-forget-to-do-this-ever-again updates on stories that you probably don't care about but this blog is a narrative, dammit, and so the story must go on:

1) Did Her Bad Mother ever sleep again? No, she did not, and probably will not again, ever. She has tried most of the suggestions offered and none, so far have worked. She would just give up and look into becoming a vampire, were it not for the fact that she doesn't want to eat her baby (I don't care what Stephenie Meyer implied in Breaking Dawn about mother-love overcoming the temptation to sink one's teeth into buttery baby butt cheeks; if I were a vampire I would totally eat my baby because, my god, the deliciousness), so she'll just persist in this lovely and only slightly inconvenient sleep-deprived fugue state.

2) Did Her Bad Baby ever take to solid foods? Yes! He did! He does! But only if they're, you know, solid. As in, able to withstand the clutch of a chunky little fist. Which is to say, hunks of bread or cereal biscuits or meatballs or whole baby carrots or, for some reason, pickles. Anything mushy, anything on a spoon, anything in a bottle (sigh) is rejected with a swat of a chubby hand.

3) Did Her Bad Mother ever find her long lost brother? Has she made any progress? Not so much. Believe me, you'll hear about it when - WHEN - anything happens.

4) Whatever happened to the Phallic Lovey? He (Christian name: Toadstool) was tossed aside by the girl - who declared herself to be 'too big for Toady now' - a few weeks ago. It was like a sad Toy Story 2 sub-plot, really, and Her Bad Mother got a little weepy. Her Bad Husband, however, rejoiced. And then this happened:

And so it goes.

Any other questions on narrative threads that I may have dropped, recently or, like, eons ago? Fire away in the comments, and I'll follow up them, someday. And tell me, what are the narrative threads that you've dropped? I'm not the only one out here who can't tell a story, am I?

Also, oh, hai: yesterday was Delurking Day, and I missed it. Feel free to make up for that today.

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Blogger Amy said...

Okay, I am officially "de-lurking" to say that I so agree on being a vampire and not being able to resist feasting on those beautiful baby cheeks! Man, is he adorable!

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not a frequent commenter so I'm delurking to say how much I appreciate the stories you share. I really look forward to hearing about your journey.

12:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm with Amy too - I could never understnad how she didn't eat that child if she was so damn cute!

12:21 PM  
Blogger Ashley said...

I have a non-sleeping baby girl just his age. Maybe they could hook up and entertain each other while we sleep or drink or whatever.

12:23 PM  
Blogger April said...

loving the updates :-)

btw, your daughters hat in the chainsaw videos is awesome.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Steph(anie) said...

That pic is darling. And hilarious.

12:29 PM  
Blogger SciFi Dad said...

I refer to this as "closing the loop". Actually, it's something I haven't done in a while, so I may borrow the concept over at my place, if there's anything worth updating... now off to my archives.

Also? I guess you haven't posted recent photos of Jasper, because I didn't realize just how much he looks like Emilia (sp?)

12:31 PM  
Blogger Amy Jo said...

Such is life, eh? I sometimes forget to tell the end of a story when I'm having a live, in person conversation. Having two little ones makes for some interesting, if not always coherent, stories.

We'll always be here, so don't worry about us!

12:35 PM  
Blogger Lee Laughlin said...

This isn't so much a dropped thread as a question. In your post about going to Disney, you mentioned you didn't drive. I didn't get my license until I was 28 due to visual issues and I was just curious why you don't drive. Perhaps a post for hte future, another thread to drop eh?

12:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lurk. I kinda, sorta like lurking. :) A lot easier than actually making the time to make a coherent and relevant comment.

12:54 PM  
Blogger Mr Lady said...

I have never once posted a follow up to any of my stories and I doubt I ever will. When they go to college, we can just all assume the 5 of us survived intact.

12:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not really lurking but I will give you some comment love anyway.

I don't know that I've written enough to have any threads dropped yet myself. But I'm sure I will. I'm lucky if I can remember to get dressed these days.

12:55 PM  
Blogger Just Vegas said...

Here's my delurk...I, uh, like your blog.

1:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Delurking for you. I like your angst. At the very least, it's excellent birth control for us in these tough economic times.

Hope you have a fabulous day!

1:13 PM  
Blogger Kyla said...

Well, KayTar is the story and her life is kind of writing itself one day at a time, though I do digress here and there...like when I get stalked at a grocery store or whatever. ;)

1:26 PM  
Blogger The Panic Room said...

I keep hearing about people freaking in the comments section or getting bent out of shape about a post... I have been lucky so far. I just told myself that I was going to do this for fun and as soon as it isn't a source of relaxation and good vibes or a healthy release I will shut it down. All of it. The entire internet. I can do that.

anyway I am a new reader here. I like what I am reading.

1:33 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Just sending you a wave!

Write what you want hon, I am pretty sure I will mostly always listen.

1:36 PM  
Blogger Major Bedhead said...

I was just remembering that The Bug didn't sleep thru the night until she was about 20 months old. I lived on coffee and snatched cat naps until then, having tried just about anything and everything. There will most likely be a light at the end of the tunnel, but man, the tunnel is a long one.

And of course, now that The Bug is sleeping thru the night, I'm not. Fun times.

1:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those cheeks are meant to be nibbled. As for narrative coherence, I have trouble just writing initial posts let alone follow ups. Write whatever pleases you.

1:49 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I'm delurking. And I would also most definitely eat my children, though not so much because they are cute (they are!) but because my god, the WHINING.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Jen @ Rolling Through Looneyville said...

delurking, kind of. (ive commented before once or twice). I love your posts. maybe that's in good part because you're living my life, especially with the little one. mine is two weeks or so older, gave me shredded nipples, hasn't slept EVER, and is so darn cute I can't stand it. my oldest is a bit younger than your E. and I'm so freakin' tired, sleeping in the car in sub zero temps actually sounds appealing.

oh. and I'm pregnant.

anyway, I say you should write what you want. there are plenty of people who are going to read, regardless. it's YOUR blog.

1:52 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I'll delurk today since the internet was down here for most of yesterday.

Back to lurking.

2:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

My blog is based on my random, scattered thoughts. Yikes! I didn't know I needed a consistent narrative.

2:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahahahaha!!! I wasn't reading back when your daughter was a baby but I have to say that the phallic lovey is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Pure awesome.

As for the continuity of your stories - I'm sure we'll all figure it out if you include links to past posts every time you update something that was dropped awhile ago. Just my $0.02

2:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good God Jasper's cute. Oy.

I'm delurking - commenting is usually a luxury for me, what with insanity to the 4th power going on in this house. I always, always read, though, not always the day a post goes up, but not too late thereafter.

2:17 PM  
Blogger Corina - Down to Earth Mama said...

I don't have so many blog narratives, but slight tid-bits. I like your narratives and hope that I can find such a voice soon.

2:18 PM  
Blogger QuJaBaKa said...

Delurking to say thanks for the last part of the continued story, I have not laughed so hard as I did when I saw the photo of your little man and the toady!!
Ah the twenty first birthday stories you will be able to tell about that one!!
I love that you are here and there, and that you repeat things, because this is about real life, and although as bloggers we do edit, we also still have to live our lives and if things repeat then they do so for a reason.
Keep up the great blog, I'll be reading and won't complain about repeats (partly because my sleep deprived brain can't remember if I have read it before!) because everytime something repeats its getting closer to closure.

2:19 PM  
Blogger G Love said...

I will de-lurk, then, to say this. And I promise it isn't a neener neener neener. My 8 month old son slept from 8pm to 5:45 am last night.

First. Time. Ever.

I do not expect this to continue indefinitely, but at least I now know it's possible. Tonight we'll be back on the 10pm, 3am wakeups, I'm sure. but - the light. the end of the tunnel. i see them. I hope you reach the end of your sleepless tunnel soon, too!



2:20 PM  
Blogger AnnetteK said...

I have virtually no continuity from post to post, and it doesn't bother me a bit. It's kind of like how I am in real life anyway!

Btw, I didn't think your last post was a repeat of the other. It's pretty clear you're still working this out. You write what's on your mind, and obviously whether or not to have another child is what's on it. So be it.

Personally I find your writing so compelling that I always read no matter what the topic.

2:21 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

SciFi Dad - 'closing the loop' is a good phrase.

And, yeah, he does look like Emilia in that picture. In other pictures, not so much, but with the lovey? Yeah.

2:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think about this all the time, and was trying to fashion a kind of similar post in my head.

I do this all the time, and it annoys me as coherent, meaningful narrative articulation is very very important to me (for reasons other than blogging), and yet its something I never feel I achieve on my blog - mostly through lack of time I get to devote to it anymore.

Most posts I 'phone in' now. Not all, I stress. But it happens.

2:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think I'm *totally* delurking because I think I've commented here before, but I have to admit that I read (here and on Twitter) WAY more than I comment.

I enjoy your writing (even when you repeat yourself) and it is very comforting to know someone else out there shares the same baby trials that I do. You know, misery loves company and all.

2:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't help that I'm the kind of person who needs to know. Even if no one else cares if you get any sleep, you know that I do. I patiently await either the post or the tweet that says, "I slept!" and I will rejoice.

In any case, I'm still here reading, and I am very touched that you wrote this post and gave follow-up. I'm serious.

Thanks again HBM, and that baby is really, really, unbelievably cute.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Marit said...

Delurking to say I love your blog!

3:22 PM  
Blogger SP said...

Happy Day After Delurking Day!

3:31 PM  
Blogger Hammy said...

And I think it's vaguely hilarious that someone should give you grief for not documenting your life in an orderly fashion.

Like it's just a work of fiction and you're holding out on her, due to your busy movie career...or somethin'.

3:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blogger hates me so this will be anonymous. Delurking! Hurray for updates!
I read all of your posts and I didn't have any issues with your narrative, vis the last post. It's your space, you don't owe me a narrative. That said, I heart updates, so that's good. I don't think you're very angsty either.
Good God, this is a big opinion comment. (Thanks for writing)

3:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I check in with your blog and a couple of others because it is nice to know that I am not the only one. Not the only one with a baby that won't sleep. Not the only one with a child that can double as a tyrant. Not the only one who has looked for a sibling. It is nice to know that I am not as lonely as I sometimes feel. Keep doing what you're doing...I enjoy reading about it.

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"It was a post that I wrote for myself, not one that was intended to advance my story, such as that story is. And that pissed at least one reader off, a little: she protested that I was just retreading old ground and that it was frustrating and why didn't I make more of an effort to let readers know what I was doing to prevent what seemed to be my inevitable slide into whiny insanity - for example, what had I done about the sleep issues? Had I taken any readerly advice? - because, seriously, if I kept this up - and certainly if I made the terrible mistake of committing mental suicide by further childbearing - she, for one, was not going to be able to read me anymore."

I often go back over and over and over the same old issues because they're my issues that I'm trying to work out. That's why I blog, to help me get things outside of my head, to try and make sense of them and you are under no obligation to take anyone's advice, even if you ask for it.

So take care.

3:52 PM  
Blogger clueless but hopeful mama said...

How sad, I'm not even sure if I lurk. I read and I react and I feel and I think and.... I'm not sure if I comment! I blame the pregnancy AND the toddler who WON'T STOP TALKING.

Love the follow ups and your thoughts on the "online journal" aspects of a blog. I took my journal online in blog form and am slowly realizing that I must censor and review and rethink rather than just expel all my thoughts and feelings without thinking through the ramifications for the friends, family and strangers that read me.

3:57 PM  
Blogger Leanne said...

Emilia's chainsaw videos are amazing.

4:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Toadstool freaks me out.

4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Delurking to say holy CRAP cute kids! As for the sleep issues, I totally know the feeling of "Go to SLEEP or I might do something drastic, but since it can't be violent I may just kiss you into oblivion" Talk about mixed messages, right?

4:13 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Sarah - Toadstool freaks everyone out.

4:16 PM  
Blogger Goldfish said...

I kind of like the unresolved-issue bit. Perhaps because I recognize it so well?

4:21 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I never even thought about this issue... hmm... I wonder if I have left readers hanging about anything?

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Generally if I want *guaranteed* continuity in my reading, I pick up a novel. Or a memoir. Or something that is otherwise COMPLETE. How can you assess the continuity of the work in progress that is someone's life? I don't get it.

But then, I still think of the Internet as a playground, not as Thanksgiving dinner with my extended family (ie: we go down the slide, we do not harp on each others' decisions [or lack thereof]) And I am also living the same sleep-deprived, toddler madness that you are so maybe that's why I would never in a million think to wonder what happened to that story you told 2 weeks ago. I don't remember 2 weeks ago. I don't even remember starting this comment.

Love the blog; keep on keeping on; cute babies; hoorah!

4:43 PM  
Blogger Momily said...

ok, this just shocks me that someone would complain about what you choose to write/share about your life. it seems so simple to me - your blog, your life, your agenda, your prerogative (cue Bobby Brown!). I know i don't fully appreciate the politics, the public vs. private, the complexities of narrative in a hypertext world and all the other reasons i did not pursue a master's in english lit, but come on, this person has no right to bitch you out?! this person has a right to stop reading your blog and that's about it. For example, i hope you find your brother and hope you choose to share that here when it happens, but it is your business and if you never want to talk about any of that again so be it.

Also, your blog is so great because it captures this point in time in motherhood so well, so properly and so authentically . . . it's not a novel with plot devices and convenient characters!

4:50 PM  
Blogger Antrop√≥loga said...

Oh I drop stuff all the time, I am sure. Maybe I'll go back and look.

But I did a follow-up post today and, just like you said, it's basically boring. Some new info but how much do you really need to post about being sore from horseback riding?

4:54 PM  
Blogger Emily Barker said...

I can't remember how many threads I've dropped. I also forget to label my posts. Some are and some aren't and there's no rhyme or reason to any of it.

5:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want me a phallic toadstool.

Don't ask why. You don't want to know.

5:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Delurking - Love your blog!

5:57 PM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

I'm shaking my head over the inheritance of toadstool. I figured it would have disintegrated by now and returned to be one with the Earth or sex shop or where ever it came from.

6:12 PM  
Blogger Kady said...

I delurk cuz you's funny.

6:17 PM  
Blogger carrie said...

Well, thank god that toadstool is gone!


6:23 PM  
Blogger All Things BD said...

Delurking, I think, because as someone else said, I read you everyday, but can't remember if I comment. Too much brain power required.

I love the fact that you addressed anonymous' comment. It takes guts to examine criticism, even if you adamantly disagree with them. You handled it with grace and aplomb. Kudos.

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for this. I just started a blog...I mean just started on Jan. 1. Very scary thing for me. Good to know to refer back to things if they are unresolved. So all those one people who have read it won't be left in a sleepless lurch over my never ending driveway and its story. Again Thank you, and Oh Hai, delurked!

7:06 PM  
Blogger J from Ireland said...

Hi, you could write your shopping list and I would still enjoy reading. Best wishes.

7:07 PM  
Blogger Blog said...

Hmm. I'm sure there are a bunch of "cliffhangers" in my blog. I know there are, and sometimes I just choose to let them go because it's just too much (MORE) work to think about the blog as a narrative. I'm very happy with it being a series of fragments. :) And, I trust my readers are, too.

7:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh and Toady, he is um...well endowed?

7:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

De-lurking to say that I love your narrative and the very organic way in which it evolves. Keep doing what you are doing and thank you for sharing with us what you do! I don't often comment 'out loud' as it were, but I often laugh/cry right along with you, shake my head in recognition, or shout out a resounding 'you go girl!'

And I secretly (now openly) covet the Sock Monkey hat...think they make those in 'big girl' sizes? I. SO. WANT!

7:33 PM  
Blogger Mommer said...

Delurking, sort of, since I do occasionally comment and I wish I did more. So, um, I guess I will. There we go!

I remember realizing when my son was an infant that between pregnancy waking, new baby waking, and my daughter's thrice-nightly nightmares for months on end, I had slept through the night less than ten times in 3.5 years. It does get better. I promise. Having only two kids makes it get better sooner.

I dropped a pretty big narrative thread on my blog, which was the potty-training of my son. He was five when it occurred (he's mildly autistic) and it was a HUGE event, and somehow I got busy and I forgot to upload the picture of the celebratory train trip and months went by, and well, you know. So I guess I should write that essay retroactively.

7:34 PM  
Blogger VDog said...

Also delurking late... cuz that's how I roll.

oh mah gaw! is that boy cute. and I know cute boys. fer realz.

sorry about all the sucky, narrative, schmarrative, and at BlissDom I hope to say more than just the 'hi' I made in the Macy's handbag department in passing, lol.

be well, and sleep, please sleep. you know, if that were possible.

7:48 PM  
Blogger Karen MEG said...

I leave so many things unsaid, unfinished, unpublished, on my blog, because I can't find the time nor energy nor inspiration to finish it up. And I even wonder whether people who read or just stop in for a quick visit at my space, are truly that interested (as your readership are, I guess, in many cases so personally vested in your stories - it's a testament to your writing skills!).

I also thought you were so gracious in handling the critical comments from Anonymous ... the topic that you wrote about (and then wrote about again) is not an easy one to resolve, and I think anyone who's been here before or any new readers, would appreciate it. My personal opinion is that you have no obligation to anyone but yourself as to the content that people find here. But if you find that the criticism might make your writing sharper (which I don't really feel it needs, BTW), well, more power to you.

And thanks for updating us ... not that's it's really any of our business, anyway :).

And boy oh boy, is the J-boy ever growing fast!!!

7:52 PM  
Blogger Kaitlyn said...

I have the next part of a series I promised my few readers sitting in draft form and have for a long while. I wonder if they're upset? You're doing well with this blog, do not worry! :)

8:06 PM  
Blogger Chrissy said...

Delurking. I enjoy your blog. Especially interested in the story of locating your long lost brother. I have a "found" not really so lost, just unkown for 16 years, little sister and also a son I gave up 22 years ago. Don't give up!

8:40 PM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

HBF is right about that pic - it's a very unfortunate placement of the lovey, if nothing else. And I can't believe that a) she gave it up! (Pumpkinpie still has her loveys firmly in her grip) and b) you didn't throw it out immediately adn prevent such a thing! Hahaha! You are totally going to have to deal with another few years of it, arent' you? And now it's even floppier through being loved... Oh, you poor thing. think of the comedic potential, at least, of a boy loving his penis.

9:30 PM  
Blogger moplans said...

omg he's so cute.

10:01 PM  
Blogger Bea said...

Did you make that collage just for this post?

I've had "stop if me if I've told you this one before"-itis with my blog for at least a year now. The worst is when I put up a post fleshing out some brilliant idea and then realize I said exactly the same thing six months ago.

11:02 PM  
Blogger Tania said...

Toadstool has seen better days. Jasper, on the other hand, looks as delicious as you described.

Thanks for the updates. I was willing to patiently wait for more, but this is good too.

11:05 PM  
Blogger Lady M said...

Your writing is amazing, and even when - or perhaps especially when - your topics are difficult, I feel part of this great community of writers and mothers.

Sorry to HBF or I suppose it's Their Bad Father, for the Toadstool relocation!

11:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's your story honey, tell it the way you want it. Your only obligation is to you...

to thine own self be true.

12:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love you love you love you! I read all the time but don't always get time to comment.

My sleep solution? When I work nights, the little bugger (now 2 YEARS old) goes to daycare during the day and I sleep. I'm on a rotating schedule, so every two weeks I get to sleep. Actually, I can hear him now, and it is stinkin 1:41 in the morning. I don't mind now, I have to stay up to be able to work from 7pm to 7am.


1:42 AM  
Blogger Theresa said...

About the sleep issue, you might want to read Tears and Tantrums by Aletha Solter. My baby slept 8 hours straight after the first night of following her advice. I'm giving away a free copy on my blog if you're interested.

8:20 AM  
Blogger Mimi said...

OMG. When did Jasper get so big? Wasn't he just a wee tiny thing just yesterday and I toted him around Macy's like a warm bundle of grumpy and drooly? I don't remember authorizing this growth. Does that mean time has been passing?

Oh crap.

10:05 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Bea - I made it over New Year's. A vision board collage. One of the cornier things that I've done since the teen years (I made collages all the time as a teen) but really enjoyed doing it.

Keep meaning to write about it but always chicken out.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Della said...

Did I mention that your wonderbaby may or may not be cuter than my own beloved monkey-face? And that is saying something.

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

catherine i love how you write about your experiences...so write what you feel and don't worry.jasper is so adorable! ewww how did you clean the canola oil off of sofa?my 16 year old when 3 painted the walls and carpet and sofa with ketchup.she was so proud of her pictures she made for me. how could i get mad?

11:41 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Mimi - when did he get so big? Who the eff knows. He was big to start with and just kept growing. I guess that's what he's doing all those hours that he's NOT SLEEPING.

11:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The nephew. The teen aged boy who was hospitalized recently. I was surprised at how concerned I felt for a complete stranger. I know he survived and was released from hospital and you need to protect his privacy, I know, but I still can't help but ask, how is he doing? Is he okay?

11:52 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

missj - Zachary - my nephew - that's a tough one to write about. He's improved and has responded to therapy, etc, but there are still complications and things are difficult at home. I think often about how to tell more of his story without crossing boundaries that I don't want to cross. I do hope to write of him again.

Bottom line - he's on the road to recovery, maybe not a completely full recovery, but a pretty good one. We're grateful.

11:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

De-lurking--oh hai to you too! Found your blog through Amalah or Redneckmommy or some other blog and now I'm an addict. Keep up the narrative threads with no ending, love it.

12:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hopefully I can help take the stress off ya and give you some sleeping hours! Heh :)

I often repeat myself too but meh its a blog, who cares right?

2:58 PM  
Blogger Issa said...

Dam you're brave Catherine. I'd never ask that question. My signature line is: I'll tell you that story another day. Unfortunately, that other day, sadly never comes.

I think Jasper is adorable with the toadstool thingy.

3:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and I mean by that that it's your blog, and therefore you can repeat things if you want :) I look at my blog as a way of keeping me sane, and if that means I ramble on and on about the same things...then I'll do that. :D

Sorry I got distracted LOL

3:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't say much - but I'm here pretty much daily. Gotta keep my fellow Canucks up and running by dint of my support.

(Yes, I believe I alone sustain the blogs I read simply by visiting them. Is that narcissistic or simply naive? You decide.)


4:35 PM  
Blogger Stimey said...

I question the schizophrenic nature of my narrative sometimes. I spend a lot of time telling funny little stories about my kids or my ant farm or whatever, and then the other half of my posts are about the triumphs and struggles of raising an autistic kid. Sometimes I'm afraid I give my readers whiplash.

6:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've kept half-an-eye out for it so my apologies if you've already closed the loop on this one, but if not... what happened with West Jet? Did they ever respond to your complaint?

9:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Delurking, but I also would like to know if you followed up on any of the advice given to you re discipline and how it turned out. I'm facing similar issues with my 3 year old and I took out all the books recommended from the other readers. So far I read 4 of them, but last night I broke down and cried while saying "no matter how many books I read, nothing works" after trying to put him to bed from 6 PM until 9 PM. Eh.
Also, I live in Toronto, I'm not a blogger, just a reader of blogs, and I've commented before on how brilliant you are in your writing.

11:42 AM  
Blogger Ann said...

I just gotta say, that babe of yours is a CUTIE!!! :) My daughter (6 months old) LOVES to stare at him... :)

6:13 PM  
Blogger Mammatalk said...

I look at blogs as windows into another world. You catch glimpses. If you want a complete storyline, catch a movie. Am I wrong?

5:55 PM  

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