Her Bad Mother

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Gossip Girl And The Tummy Of Doom

I've said here before that I like me my celebrity gossip, TV talk and pop culture psychobabble. I like it so much that I write, now, for not one, but two pop-culture-for-parents websites. I like it, in large part, because I like poking fun at the whole cult-slash-culture of celebrity, but also because it involves pretty, glossy magazines, television and all variety of mindless entertainment in general. I wouldn't have survived ten-plus years pursuing multiple degrees in political philosophy if I hadn't spent some quality downtime with Us Magazine. Besides, Socrates loved his gossip. He'd have been all over Perez Hilton, for sure.

So I make no apologies. My worst day in the trenches of gossip is like getting an enema for my brain (and believe me, my brain needs regular enemas); my best day yields scads of opportunity for broader reflection about the culture and my place in it. There's no downside to gossip, just all kinds of bubbly up.

Or so I thought. The other day, I got a bit stung by pissy commentary in response to a post that I wrote over at Famecrawler. I don't usually get stung by comments - I've got a pretty tough hide after nearly two years of blogging, and in any case the loudest commenters on pop culture/gossip blogs tend to skew crazy, so they're easy to brush off - but in this case, it got kind of personal, and I didn't like it.

The post? A bit of a rant about supermodel-turned-supermom Eva Herzigova, who recently told the press that she did absolutely nothing to get her pre-baby body back to Victoria's Secret standards after only four months. That, and she stated that this was just the way "Nature" worked for women. "Nature has a way of taking care of things. If you have a certain figure you'll go back to it," she said, before going on to counsel mothers everywhere: "Don't worry about it."

That, I said, sounded like bullshit. The part about her doing nothing, for one. Sure, some lucky women drop the weight easily, but the tummy? The boobs? All the stretched-out bits? Those require work, especially if you're in your mid-thirties, as she is. I noted, in the post, that I had been a skinny-minny prior to pregnancy (at not quite 110 lbs, and nearly 5 foot 9, my proportions were not unlike hers - my doctor told me to gain 20 pounds before she'd start calculating 'pregnancy weight,' because I was 'too thin'), and that I always had been a skinny-minny, but that I wouldn't have been able to get my 'old' body back after pregnancy without a lot of work. I didn't do any work, and although I've lost a lot of weight, I'm nowhere near my former size. And it would take a team of personal trainers to get me back to my former shape (those boobs don't just spring back, you know.) I'm happy with my shape, but it would have messed my head up bad if I'd been convinced, before going through the transformation of pregnancy, that "Nature" would just give me my body back with no effort on my part.

So I called bullshit. I stand by that call of bullshit. Even if Eva Herzigova was telling the god's honest truth and her body did just magically snap back to supermodel proportions, I still stand by that call. Because I think that it sucks when women are told - explicitly or implicitly - that celebrities are super-special, super-gifted beings who just naturally look the way that they do, with no help from trainers or dieticians or private chefs or make-up artists or Photoshop artists or plastic surgeons or good lighting or whatever it is that money can buy and why doesn't everyone look that way, anyway? Doesn't everyone just get their flat tummy back after childbirth? Who me, do crunches? Never! Nature made me this way!

Anyway. I received, almost immediately, a pissy comment about how tiresome it is that people hate on skinny celebrities. Whatever; I see variations on the u hate celerities u suck comment all the time. But then came the comment about how *I* clearly overate during my pregnancy, which is how I got so fat and bitter and jealous of Eva. Then somebody disparaged my ass - which, they implied, was probably fat - and said something similar about how lots of women get their bodies back easily, and that it was just so sad that I was so jealous of Eva. Then another comment or two about my body issues, and my jealousy and my meanness and didn't it just say so much about how petty and fat I must be be to hate on Eva? Then another comment about how I shouldn't have gained so much weight in my pregnancy. Which is just a bit, you know, stinging, not to mention confusing.

I didn't say anything super harshly mean about Eva; I just speculated - emphatically, granted, in a manner not unlike that of Miracle Max's wife in 'The Princess Bride' (LIAR!), but the emphasis was meant to be funny - that she wasn't being honest. I imagined that she probably has personal trainers and private chefs and maybe a team of leprechauns on hand to rub down her super-special thighs with gold nuggets and to rinse her hair in rainbows. I don't think that's crazy talk (excepting, perhaps, the leprechauns, but I can't be sure). Even if she did piss the weight away without even blinking - and I get that that happens, sometimes - what happened to the muffin top? To the boobs? To the stretched-out bits? She's thirty-five years old, not twenty-five. (And if you tell me that some women just have magical elastic skin that they maintain into their thirties and which just springs back to tautness after pregnancy with no effort at all, well, then, I will just have to crawl into a corner a cry for days.) I just don't buy it, and I don't think that it's a helpful message to send to women (if you're special enough, Nature will let you have your body back. Not special? Oh well. You were probably fat to being with.)

So why did some women - they were all women - feel compelled to defend this message, and to assert that anyone - me - who would challenge Eva's claims must be a fat, sad, jealous woman who had probably overeaten during her own pregnancy and who couldn't get over the fact that she'd made herself fat, fatty fatterson?

Do I sound hurt? I am hurt. Not because there are a half-dozen or so women out there who think that I'm fat and troubled (I am troubled; I'm hormonal and barfy and that makes me cranky), but because it rattled my sense of my writerly self. My gossipy writerly self. Was I too snarky? Was I not snarky enough? Did my hormonal weirdness push its way through my words and smear itself across the screen without me even realizing it? Did I actually write a really bad, stupid gossip post? Had I been fat during my pregnancy? Am I going to get fat now? Am I facing a future of bad, cranky writing and fat miserableness?

I know: I'll be fine; this is nothing. But still. My skin is not so thick as I thought it was. That's discomfiting. It really is.


Blogger JChevais said...

I don't usually read celebrity snark, so have no comments to make regarding your writing thereof. It's not that I don't like celebrity snark, I just have a hard enough time keeping up with the perso blogs that are my faves and I have no idea who the celebrities even are anymore.

Dude, I totally would have called bullshit on Eva's claims too. If she also claims that she didn't have stretchmarks, I think I would have seen red. "Perfect" people make me seethe.

With my first baby, I gained a lot of weight too... but I was underweight for my body structure to start with. I gained 9 kilos in the first 3 months. Wow did my ob/gyn rip a strip off of me. I still remember that 9 years later. After two babies, I never got back down to my prepreg weight, but that's ok. I don't really need to. I just wish I could tone up. That doesn't make me a fat ass. Quite frankly, the "ladies" on the gossip blog were not very nice in their "differences of opinion".

Ahhh... the internet. Home of the faceless and righteous commenter...

I hope you feel better about the ordeal soon.

BTW: Did you get my email about no longer having the address of that person in Western Canada? I lost it and am ready to send out the package. Cheers.

9:20 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

Ok, so I've been lurking for ages (hi! loved the pictures of kermit and toadstool! and I still haven't actually sucked snot from my son's nose, but have definitely thought about it during the middle-of-the-night colds...) but the comments over at your other site REQUIRE response. I'm still working on the baby weight after seven months of breast feeding, and the self-righteous little lectures over there about pregnancy weight gain pissed. me. off.

I know how tempting it is to get self-righteous and smug about things that happen to go well for me with my kid, even when I have basically nothing to do with it (i.e., I got lucky, and my kid's a good sleeper) but I keep on getting hit over the head with the fact that it's mostly just luck. It's definitely been my number one lesson of parenting so far. I do my best with my little guy, and then all I can do is hope...and not rub my friend's face in the fact that my kid is sleeping and hers isn't.

I suspect the same thing is happening to these commenters...losing the weight is just something they happened to get lucky about. But what some of them seem to be missing is that THEY PROBABLY JUST GOT LUCKY. No smugness about breastfeeding and being conscientious about their eating during pregnancy is necessary...and it makes us not-so-lucky ones feel like crap.

9:26 AM  
Blogger JChevais said...

OKay. Kate's response is so much better than mine and I wish I had been able to phrase my comment better.

When I said that I was underweight, I wasn't THAT underweight btw. A couple of kilos at most. I still gained a lot but it was the baby that made me do it. My ob/gyn yelled at me because I didn't have better control over this body of mine that was under the thrall of a usurper. I was unlucky in that I would have blood sugar drop outs and if I didn't eat that very second, my head would start spinning and I would start to froth at the mouth. It could get ugly...

Also, breastfeeding didn't work for me. Unlucky in love again.

But there I go, talking about me again. All that to say, just, that you are not the only woman in the world that gained more weight than was strictly necessary during a pregnancy.

9:42 AM  
Blogger The Super Bongo said...

I think I found your blog through Out of the Coop: The Chick.

I love me some celeb-gossip - and no! your calling of the bullshit on this whole "nature gives us our perfect bodies" thing wasn't too mean or nasty. At least you call the bullshit - rather than spend your life verbally attacking those who would question the supremacy of ________________ celebutard someone has discarded their own life to defend.

And, I love your sense of humor, your writing, and your observations.

10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always find it amazing that women who have never had children, think they are f@#*ing experts on all things related to children and childbirth. I would be willing to bet none of those commenters have kids or have dealt with a pregnancy belly. I didn't give birth but my wife did and I would never assume that I know how she feels or what she should do to deal with the changes that pregnancy made to her body. Of course, since I was there for the pregnancy and the birth of my gorgeous son, I also know that those are battle scars and as you may have heard, chicks dig scars. ;-)
You aren't overly snarky and she probably is lying about just bouncing back (or is oblivious that not everyone has a personal trainer, chef and masseuse at their beck and call).

10:14 AM  
Blogger Laural Dawn said...

Here's the thing. Some women do snap back.
I was not one of those women.
I was, in fact, a woman who gained weight after I had my child (ppd related, I think, but whatever). I hated the message that some people looked better after.
Was your comment harsh? Maybe a tad. But, it was a comment on a gossip site. And, if that's harsh then clearly these women have never read Perez Hilton because HE is downright cruel.
For the record, I have a hard time believing her too.
I also think that other women - mothers specifically - are way way way too mean in comments sometimes.

10:25 AM  
Blogger ms blue said...

I can't wait to see if Jennifer Lopez springs back! You already know that I love your snark.

To Eva's fan club:
Don't bring me down,no no no no no no no no,
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor,
Don't bring me down.

You never know when I'm gonna break out into ELO.

10:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

catherine my friend i heart you.and i totally agree with you about eva.and for all those women who hurt your feelings shame on them.before i had my first child i was 100 lbs.and never had weight issues.now i am at least 40 lbs. overweight.so this is how my body wants to be?eva get stuffed.any how my friend don't be too hard on yourself.you are pregnant and hormonal right now.LAVANDULA

10:27 AM  
Blogger Motherhood Uncensored said...

On the one hand, it's their job to look fabulous. We common folk don't think about that when we see them, but they've got personal chefs cooking them 1700 calorie meals, personal trainers whipping their asses into shape, and a few people to watch their kids.

Oh and stupid cabbage soup diets like Jaime Pressley (obviously not breastfeeding).

All we see is the end result.

Sure, people bounce back, but even for the most part, there's going to be a stretch mark somewhere, a little flab here or there.

I was watching something yesterday about how we've become a society of perfection. Now with plastic surgery (which I totally understand why some people do it but others...), people who have flaws are seen as ugly and disfigured, when really, they're just normal people.

So much for finding the beauty in differences.

10:31 AM  
Blogger The Other Laura said...

I think your comments were spot on. Don't we have enough to deal with motherhood, parenting, working, partnering and to be told implicitly that there's just something wrong with us if weight doesn't drop off, or tummies don't snap back into shape is dishonest. In your 30's losing weight is hard work - fact.

Don't doubt your writerly instincts. They're good.

10:44 AM  
Blogger Kyla said...

No, dear, you WERE spot on. Your writerly self is just fine.

But let me tell you, I had my first at 19 and my second at 21 and there is NOTHING magically taut about twenty something skin either. LOL. ;)

11:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

***Warning: Off-topic Quesion***

HBM/TBM... when is baby #2 due? Did I miss the post when you announced your due date?? I'm a faithful & normally silent reader but I think I missed that tid-bit. I am also expecting and I need to know how closely our stars are aligned.

Now back to celebrity bashing, please....

11:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe this poor girl is so used to never eating, to spending hours working out, to visiting dieticians and trainers, that it is seems like doing nothing to get back into shape. Maybe in her warped celebrity mind doing everything that we consider getting back in shape is just her life.

Or maybe she really did do nothing.

I was a lucky one. I sailed through pregnancy #1 without a stretch mark. I came home from the hospital four pounds heavier than before I got pregnant. I was smug. Oh yes, I was. But, don't worry. Pregnancy #2 kicked my ass. And my boobs. And my girly parts. I came home thirty pounds heavier the second time. So, even the lucky ones have to deal with body issues eventually.

Anyway, it isn't an excuse for people to attack you for telling it how you see it. You have a right to tell the world that it doesn't always work that way, just like she has the right to tell the world that sometimes it does.

11:22 AM  
Blogger Run ANC said...

If it looks like BULLSHIT, smells like BULLSHIT, then it most like IS bullshit. Celebrity gossip is all about snarky. I expect it. I want it. Those chicks who attacked you probably have huge issues of their own.

I don't believe that anybody bounces back without at lease some work. No way.

12:06 PM  
Blogger Run ANC said...

By the way...I can't spell at all.

12:06 PM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

Well, I left most of my comment over there, having had to go over and read what all the fuss was about, but to paraphrase and talk to this post more...
- It may well be that that happened to her, but her genetics and/or metabolism already separate her from most average women, so it can hardly be seen as typical and I DO think she generalized in a way that does a disservice to those who aren't built that way. Had she said, "That's how it happened FOR ME," I think the discussion would be a different one.
-and I think those comments were nasty and unnecessary. Can't people figure out how to disagree without attacking? That just shows you someone with a chip on their shoulder and a small mind in their head. Ignore them. You're fine, and I'm not just saying that because I like you.

12:13 PM  
Blogger TSintheC said...

Obviously Eva is trolling your posts and felt the need to comment to you about her magical-ness.

Take it as a compliment ;-)

Seriously, though, mean people suck. But you don't. {{{hugs}}}

12:13 PM  
Blogger gingajoy said...

you know I loves the gossip too, but dude, you *can't* let dumbass comments like that get to you. completely and utterly laughable. you called bullshit because, HELLO, bullshit!

of course, I would say that, as I am desperately thin and toned and shit.

go eat a ding dong, my love.

12:27 PM  
Blogger Eryn said...

It's funny, I was recently told that I was fat because I didn't breastfeed my kids. It had nothing to do at all with the, you know, Toxemia?
People are assholes. Seriously.
And I liked your snarky post. I'm sure I would look a hell of a lot better if I had all that money too. Nature, my ass.

12:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You've gotten some really great comments on this post.

I'm not really into celebrity snark, but if I was, I can't imagine getting so upset about something someone wrote that I would personally attack them. That's just weird.

And I'm one of the people for whom breastfeeding really sped up metabolism, but that's just the luck of the draw. I got hit with PPD though, and l would hate to think of anyone casting aspersions on me because of it.

I hope you know you have no readon to feel shaken by this. Your writing, even your pop culture pieces are always well thought out and supported and if someone feels the need to harsh on you for being able to intelligently argue a valid point, then fuck 'em I say.

I hope your nausea is getting better. Have a great weekend.

12:46 PM  
Blogger Lotus (Sarcastic Mom) said...


It is SAD whenever women are exposed to crap that will later make them feel like failures just b/c their bodies are REALLY doing what happens naturally!

You were right - those women who commented are idiots. Ugh. I feel sad for them and their idioticness.

When I was pregnant with Braden, I posted pics of my tummy on my Myspace page and got tons of messages about how I needed to stop eating b/c I was so damn fat.

Granted, it's myspace, home of all morons. (including me)


Some people view pregnancy and a woman's body in all the wrong ways.

Is is really so bad to just want certain people to disappear? Heh.

12:48 PM  
Blogger moplans said...

were they mothers?
there is not one other person's story that I would ever discount since becoming a mother
I'm sorry they were jerks C.
you are right, you know you are right.

and now I will excuse myself as my child is shrieking downstairs.

12:57 PM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

I think it takes a special breed of crazy to leave snarky comments on gossip sites... oh wait, I leave snarky comments at gossip sites. OK - so based on my personal experience, it takes a special kind of bat shit crazy to make snarky comments at gossip sites about folks you don't actually know (be it writer, or gossip-subject). Those comments are worth their weight in snot. And Bumper thinks you are just perfectly pretty the way you are - inside and out (except for the stuff that comes out from inside... OK - I'll stop now).

1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm mostly a lurker 'round here and probably can't say better what others before me have said, but I wanted to chime in anyway.

I am not blessed with fast metabolism. I'm 7 months pregnant now with my 2nd, and pre-pregnancy, I had started a series on my blog about trying to lose about 80-90 pounds excess weight. I was down about 15 pounds (through mostly dietary changes) at the time the second pink line showed up and I had to put the diet on hold b/c I was going from meat-eater to vegan and wasn't confident enough in my knowledge of the new foods I was eating to make sure I was getting the proper amount of protein to be healthy for the baby, not to mention my own "morning" sickness chose to get nasty on me after eating salads instead of pizza. I fully intend to start back up again once this baby is born.

With my first pregnancy, even with poor metabolism, I gained only 19 pounds. This time around, so far, I've gained 9 pounds and have 10 weeks to go, so I'm on target for another 20ish pound pregnancy. I lost my preg weight right away the first time, but I was definitely not proportioned the same. My comfy jeans gave me terrible muffin top and it took a good long time before my body fit in my pre-preg clothes comfortably. So just because I lost it all right away DOESN'T mean I have good metabolism, and it DOESN'T mean that I got back the same figure, overweight or not. It just happened. I don't have good metabolism, and yet both pregnancies I haven't gained as much as some other women. But hey, I was overweight to begin with and I'll take whatever I get, and I don't use that as a basis to judge those other women on how they eat, their own insecurities, or anything else to do with their weight. It is how it happens for them.

I think you were funny, that your writer voice is still coming from where you thought it was, and those people tearing into you haven't been on the sucky end of the stick with regard to pregnancy affected bodies so they think it's okay to attack you for saying to Eva that just because she didn't get the sucky end of the pregnancy stick either doesn't mean it applies to ALL women that nature will hand them back their runway bodies. It's irresponsible for a person in the public eye to say such general statements as if it's fact. It isn't. And you just pointed that out. No harm in that.

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since I read FameCrawler every day,
I read your post and the comments. Your post was spot on and I found the comments offensive. Its not you. They were the snarky, mean ones. Really, how can any intelligent person believe that celebrities look fantasic naturally? Don't they ever look at those pictures showing celebs caught unstyled and unmade up? And why do people feel they have to defend celebrities - people they don't know and will never meet?

Their assumption, based on the your pregnancy weight gain, that you became fat when pregnant and have stayed that way is their own false logic. I gained 35 lbs with my son, all stomach and boobs (yeah boobs), but still skinny arms and legs. The day after he was born (yes I weighed myself), I'd lost 25 of those lbs. The son weighed over 9 lbs. In spite of 2 tots, breastfeeding and a non-sedentary life style (no car), did I ever lose those extra pounds? Nope. Did I need to, since I weighed around 125 lbs for 5'6" Nope. Did I have a flat stomach? Nope. Nice stretch marks though.

As other commentators have said, stars have to look good and they pay people to make them look good. Too assume otherwise is naive or stupid.


1:26 PM  
Blogger mama-lama-ding-dong said...

So your skin may not be as thick as it once was, but your snark is still intact! It was a very funny post, and a necessary one! Pregnant women everywhere need that balance!

Plus, you responded to stupid, hateful comments with an astounding level of tact... something a majority of us couldn't do when we were pregnant (or hell, even now!)

Hang in there, HBM. You are just as delightfully snarky as ever...

1:35 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

My own feeling is that, when speaking of any aspect of celebrity-dom, your skin must be ultra-thick. Look at any number of the comments Perez Hilton gets on the daily basis.

For instance, this comment from a recent post showing Perez's pic: "jesus christ perez, your chin if fucking huge. you should wear a burka and hide that thing. or hey–go stand next to rumer and leno so we can have a contest please."

Vitriol seems to go hand in hand with our fascination with celebrities. I didn't think your post was offensive, but it's perfect proof of why I could never stomach such a job: the fall-out is awful!

1:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Total BS! Nature makes us have mommy bodies, not supermodel ones! And if "nature took care of it" for her, then nature and I need to have a long freaking talk!! Your snark is dead on and your writerly self is just fine. Hang tough, friend! And if nature fights with you this time around, I got yer back. :-)

2:06 PM  
Blogger heels said...

All I know is that, no matter how hard I work, my body will NEVER be the same, not even if I got to be thinner than I was before pregnancy. It has nothing to do with fat.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Jenifer said...

Good grief have they not read celebrity gossip before? You were bang on as usual. I LOST weight for most of my pregnancy and gained very little at the end and let me tell you nothing is in the same place!

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I posted on the other site, but I had to chime in here. Anyone who feels the need to so vehemently defend celebrities needs to get a life. They also need to get there heads out of their asses...HELLO PEOPLE, celebrities have tons of money and plenty of people helping them to lose the weight.

I breastfed for my first and all I got out of it were smaller, saggier, and distinctively uneven boobs when I was done. Then I had my second, and fortunately, while they didn't get bigger or perkier, they did at least even out in size.

I bet Eva's tits are hanging down to her belly button and she's got masking tape under them to give them a boost.

3:57 PM  
Blogger MamaMichelsBabies said...

Usually a silent lurker, but felt the need to pop out.

Dude.. it IS bullshit. And I can say that, I've squatted out 5 kids, and at 5'10" and prepregnant weigh all of 125 or so, yeah bullshit. Each and every one of my kids changed my body permanently in a different way. With one it was hips, with another it was stretchmarks, so on and so forth.

There is NO going back to your previous body. Period. It may be just as nice, and in my case, it gave me curves, so it was better, but it's never the same and to imply that "nature takes care of it" in a blanket manner sets a dangerous tone.

But then really, I would hope to God most women would read that, laugh and remember she's hired for her looks, not her brains, and go from there (and no not callin models stupid, there are a few out there that have brain cells going on)

And it was indeed a funny snarky. Don't let em make you feel bad, I like your kinda snarky, so do quite a few folks, don't let a select few mess with your head.

I'll stop ranting and go back into lurkdom.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Badness Jones said...

You didn't deserve all that crap - even if someone DOES eat too much while pregnant, they still don't deserve that crap. I only gained about 10lbs with each of my babies, but only because I puked so much. I ate, and ate, and ate. Only by having something in my mouth could I rid myself of the metallic taste of keys. And, while my stomach may look flat-ish, because that's my natural shape (I own up to a fat ass) that's only with my jeans on. Ain't nothing going to make my skin the way it once was. Life is a trade-off, and my kids are SO worth a body that's not quite as hot.

4:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're totally right, HBM.

I was also "underweight" during all of my pregnancies. And underweight within a few months afterwards. (I use that term lightly, because if my body is this way on it's own, I can't see it as unhealthy or unnatural.) But when people say, "wow you can't even tell that you have kids!" I just chuckle. I'm thinking, "Uh, I'm wearing a push-up bra and you can't see my stretch-mark covered stomach (and thighs and butt) under all this wool." I've seen women with really nice bodies after kids. But they are rare, and I wouldn't say that nature intends that for most of us.

You were right to call out her implication, that if you aren't skinny afterwards without work, you are fat/lazy. Whatever!

4:51 PM  
Blogger Someone Being Me said...

First of all, Perez Hilton is half the reason I get out of bed in the morning. Secondly, NO ONE just goes back to exactly their pre-pregnancy body in 4 months without some medical intervention or a damn good personal trainer. Especially their Victoria Secret model body. I was 26 when I had my son and I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight but the tummy and hips are not the same. Not even close, not even with aerobics classes. People are just snarky under the cover of internet anonymity. And you didn't lose your thick skin. You got pregnant and it got stretched thin with hormones. Give it a year and it will be back.

5:43 PM  
Blogger Karen MEG said...

Anyone who's had their boobs stretched and then tugged at by voracious babies, and their belly popped out to kingdom come, cannot expect it to all fit right back exactly as it started.
I'm actually back to lower than pre-pregnancy weight, but things are NOT where they used to be, and I got back in shape by going to the gym 2 -3 times a week.
Women can get be so horribly cruel in online commentary, it boggles the mind. You certainly didn't deserve those terribly personal attacks; and besides, you were right!
I do remember a while back when Sarah Jessica Parker, was interviewed and the interviewer marvelled at how she got slim again so quickly post-baby. She was very clear that she was lucky, and that most people don't have a personal trainer and yoga instructor to come to her house, and someone to watch the baby, to give her the time and the energy to get that body back. That to me, is a responsible celebrity.

5:53 PM  
Blogger Veronica Foale said...

A week after I had Amy you couldn't tell I had had a baby. At least not when I had clothes on. My tummy bounced back okay, but the boobs? No hope left for them. Thankgod for awesome nursing bras.

But I have to mention that I was 17 when she was born, not in my mid 30's.

I totally would have called bullshit on her and I think the comments were unfair. Makes me wonder why they felt so compelled to defend Eva and run you down.

5:59 PM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

Honestly? Celebs DO bounce back. Very quickly. In fact, most people in Hollywood do, famous or not. They're mainly vegans, eat only raw foods and work out twice a day so, yeah, it is natural for them. But not natural for the normal breathing human being. (And not for me) I struggled HARDCORE to lose my 50 lbs. I hiked backwards up hills LITERALLY next to Jessica Alba, Kate Bosworth and Orlando Bloom. I wanted to kill myself. But that's me. I don't have a daily personal trainer and food that arrives at my doorstep for every meal. Celebrities do. So what is natural for them IS natural for them. But not for us. Not for MOST of us.

And p.s. celebrity gossip is SUPPOSED to be snarky. You did fine, HBM. I did some celeb gossip writing for a bit. People get PISSSY. It's really weird... My advice? Don't read the comments. Not worth the funk. You're beautiful and fabulous and awesomely grand.

6:10 PM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Full disclosure: I walked out of the hospital the same weight I was before I got pregnant. However, my body WAS NOT the same. Things had moved and shifted. But if I had a personal trainer who came to my house every day I'm sure I could have gone back to my normal size NO PROBLEM. And I wouldn't have had to stress myself over it.

And please don't give up the snark. What's the point in gossip without it?

6:26 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

and don't forget the most important unspoken message of all: fat=bad
it's simply the assumption that if you HBM are fat, you must be sad and miserable about this and must be regretting your whole life on account of this one VERY BAD THING.

Truthfully, I am not sure if you were too snarky or not snarky enough, but I do know that I mystified completely by anyone making or defending the claim that their body came back as if by magic. Whatever "nothing" is to her, it is not nothing to the rest of us...if you have a gym in your house and use it, it may be "nothing special" to you, and you may feel like it's "nothing" but to anyone without that resource, with no place to take a baby while they exercise, while...it ain't "nothing. "

7:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You were both right to call bullshit on what she said, because if she said that nature would take care of it, she's an idiot, but you were probably wrong to call her a liar.
Some women do just snap back, even at 35, and it's like they were never pregnant. My very dear friend did that (at 35!), and if I wasn't such a horrible bitch to be mad and hurt because I miscarried and she didn't, I might be upset over that instead.
But to say that 'nature will take care of it' is a terribly ignorant thing to say. Some women change their activity habits when they're pregnant (I got told to stop walking a mile to work at only 10 weeks, which I consider patently ridiculous), some are sleep zombies postpartum and don't pick up to their old activity levels, some get put on bedrest, and lack of activity will slow one's metabolism. All sorts of things can happen during pregnancy that change one's basal body metabolism and that will affect how weight is lost.

Hell, I gained 15 pounds after I miscarried because I had to spend 10 days over Christmas miserable in the Rio Grande valley at my mother-in-law's who did nothing but bake me cookies the entire time to try and make me feel better. Cookies with lard. (The woman is a mobile heart attack, and you will die happy, or failing that, satiated.)

7:56 PM  
Blogger Ruth Dynamite said...

See, the thing is, the people who "search" for celebrity gossip tend to buy into all the crap. And I would venture to step out on a limb and conjecture that, uh, in general these folks are young and naive and, oh, not the brightest bulbs in the bunch.

That kind of commenting reveals an utter lack of (a)understanding and (b) ability to empathize. It's the negative mental refrain of a very insecure kind of person.

Flush it. There - it's gone. You nailed the issue: Eva Whatsergova is full of it. Her "normal" consists of cigarettes from dawn to dusk and starvation. Yes, Eva. Nature finds a way!

8:22 PM  
Blogger Beck said...

I always, always thought - prior to having kids - that people got fat because they were lazy, bad people. And then I gained 72 pounds while pregnant with The Girl. I lost most but certainly not all of it and it was hard, hard work. So hearing someone say something like that makes my eyebrow do that ironic "Oh YEAH?" thing.

8:45 PM  
Blogger Janet said...

Jeez, it's a celebrity gossip site, isn't what you write supposed to be a little snarky?

9:04 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

You all have made me feel better and at total liberty to go have a candy bar.

Anonymous who asked about my due date - late May!

10:21 AM  
Blogger Daisy said...

She did a lot of women a disservice by implying that nature simply takes care of things. I'm sure her "nature" includes regular workouts and a special diet. How rude of people to presume that you must be jealous to call her on that statement!

11:37 AM  
Blogger Stacy said...

I second what Karen says...why does fat = bad? Being fat doesn't make you miserable, unhappy, etc.

2:00 PM  
Blogger Ann D said...

I think it's important to combat misinformation about what's normal and what's not when it comes to bouncing back after pregnancy. So you were doing women who struggle with body image after baby a real favor by trying to set the record straight.

Melbourne University Gender Studies professor Meredith Nash is doing some really fascinating work in this area (The Baby Bump project).

3:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What GGC said. Not only is it a celebrity's JOB to keep themselves in great shape, the culture is such that fitness and beauty are a way of life. It's quite different from the way most people live.

I've been accused of having thin skin when I didn't agree with dissenters. Thoughtless commenters are full of non sequiturs.

3:47 PM  
Blogger Karen Bodkin said...

I realize I'm late to the party but I gotta say, my homegirl, my co-worker, that you need not even read the comments over there. I've had some really harsh ones in the short time I've been there, both toward me and toward whoever I'm writing about: the Miley Cyrus post was full of vile comments. You have to just let those comments go.
Now on with your snark-i-licious self. :)

5:08 PM  
Blogger BOSSY said...

Sorry you were pained dear one, but be happy. Thick skin is scaley.

Hey - Bossy just found out she is a finalist for the Weblog Awards for funniest blog ha ha - come on over and cough up a vote. Or come on over and make fun of her thin skin.

6:29 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I completely agree with you I think she is full of shit. I let nature take its course and my but is as big as the broad side of a barn. I am sure sooner or later a trainer is going to come out of the woodwork with a tell all " How I helped Eva loose the babyfat".

8:58 PM  
Blogger painted maypole said...

i read (saw?) an interview with sarah jessica parker once where she spoke about how it wasn't fair for other mothers to compare themselves to her, because keeping her figure up was part of her JOB and she could afford to pay a trainer to come to her house while she paid someone else to look after her son so she could stay in shape, and that it just wasn't reasonable for most people to do that, or even want to!

9:40 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Here's a compliment disguised as tough love (Or something like that):

You are an A-list writer reaching the lowest common denominator when you write for gossip sites. It may be fun and silly and even lucrative, but never forget that you are 100 times smarter than your average reader on a good day. These are the people with so little going on in their lives that they rise to the defense of People on The Teevee who they somehow think they know. And they are so invested in that fantasy relationship, that they will hurt someone else - someone probably a lot more like them than Eva Whatever will ever be - in the process.

Remember, if you're pinching your skin and hoping it might grow a few layers, that these commenters know you as well as they know her. Which is, to say, not at all.

12:03 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Well Liz's comment above is far more eloquent than what I was supposed to say.

Anyway, you're brilliant and I wish that my degree in Political Science made me half as smart as you are. You wrote something snarky and it's THEIR fault for not understanding that. Some people are just unable to see something for face value and then move on which is rather sad and pathetic. I just received my first hate comment last week (shocking, I know) and despite my smarts and tough skin I got annoyed and then realized that I shouldn't be hurt and annoyed. The person who left the comment should feel like an idiot who needs to move the hell on.

My (really crappy) point is that you stated your opinion four people didn't like it because they have nothing better to do with their lives than give shit to people who write snark and so it's their problem not yours. The end.

2:13 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

A good friend of mine is married to a plastic surgeon who operates in Scottsdale, Arizona. He has LOTS of celeb clients, and a very popular procedure is the post-partum lipo and or/mini tuck. So you were right on, sister.

3:28 PM  
Blogger the mad momma said...

Its her job to look good as a celeb and she spends thousands of dollars on it. so if you call the dietitian planned menus, the trainers supervising the pregnancy and hundred other things that go into it naturally, well its natural then. some of them schedule tummy tucks along with the cesarean.

its your job as a columnist to write snarky copy. and you do a great job.

its a commenter's job to disagree respectfully if they must.

its rather obvious who failed.

keep it up HBM. and chin up. i hate it when ppl are mean to pregnant women. its a hard enough time...

8:04 AM  
Blogger the mad momma said...

Its her job to look good as a celeb and she spends thousands of dollars on it. so if you call the dietitian planned menus, the trainers supervising the pregnancy and hundred other things that go into it naturally, well its natural then. some of them schedule tummy tucks along with the cesarean.

its your job as a columnist to write snarky copy. and you do a great job.

its a commenter's job to disagree respectfully if they must.

its rather obvious who failed.

keep it up HBM. and chin up. i hate it when ppl are mean to pregnant women. its a hard enough time...

8:04 AM  
Blogger the mad momma said...

err... obviously i cant spell either.

8:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, mom101 nailed it. Everyone has, but that one especially. I can't say it any better than that. So I'll say ditto, and that you're right on, literally and figuratively.

6:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that people got way too up in arms about your post, but I am here to say that sometimes the baby weight does sort of just magically disappear. I am 28 and my first baby is 3 months old and I have not a stretch mark, extra pound or bit of flabby skin to show for it. And I have done NOTHING(no diet or exercise). I know I am lucky and that things will most likely be different next time around, but this celebrity magic can happen, even to real mothers.

2:03 PM  

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