Her Bad Mother

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


From my sister, Tanner's mom, after seeing the auction site:


I am blown away… it brings me to my knees in gratitude that this kind of kindness exists - for Tanner's sake. He is one hell of a little kid.

He’s a strong-willed little kid, full of spunk and piss and vinegar. I admire him more than anyone in the world and he has only just turned 7. He sees life through eyes filled with wonder and joy. He is still mostly oblivious to what others see or think of him and I strive each day to teach him and show him how important it is to love ourselves. God made us who we are and He does have reasons - even though we may not see them now... I know that Tanner will be stronger than me, and I know that he has something to teach this world - something about love and kindness and strength and faith. I am learning every day.

I cherish this little boy and every moment he is on this earth and I know you do too. Try not to be sad, but to watch him in wonder and learn from him too. We take a lot of things for granted in this day and age; to see and feel what Tanner and other children or people like him have to face is quite humbling, but that is good, the world needs it.

WE can forget how to love and cherish. All you have to do is look at Tanner or other children who are sick and open your heart, and not forget.

I would love for you to send a big heartfelt THANK YOU to your blogging buddies.



Consider it done, little sister. Consider it done.

On behalf of this amazing little boy, and his family - MY family - I thank you. From the very bottom of my bursting heart.


Her Bad Auction

Please, go, visit, shop, write letters, spread the love.

(And, any of you who have posted the button or written posts about the auction, please leave me a note in the comments. I'd like to thank you all properly, by visiting and by linking you up in a thank-you post this weekend. Those of you amazing, amazing people who donated items, you're on my list already!)


*Katannuta (Mangala Sutta Vanana #25): To be grateful is most blissful.


Blogger Radioactive Tori said...

I love this idea. I haven't posted a link yet because I am a horrible slacker, but I have told a bunch of real life friends about it. I just love the whole idea of it all.

3:31 PM  
Blogger sillychick said...

I couldn't figure out how to do the button, but I've got a blog up for my 2 readers to see!

Blow kisses to Tanner for us Buckeyes!

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've got a post up today. I will do whatever I can to continue to help. Tanner sounds like an amazing kid.

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stop. making. me. cry.

Please send hugs back to your sister. I have great admiration for her strength.

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was doing fine - and then I got to the photo. He's so beautiful it hurts to look at him.

I've got a post up, though it's a bit self-obsessed and not properly charity-oriented.

4:02 PM  
Blogger Sandra said...

Post is up although buttonless and linkless. I feel like I am posting with a stick and scratching in the dust! Soon I will have all the tricks.

4:08 PM  
Blogger Sandra said...

Sitting here. At work. All dressed up for a big important meeting. Just applied make up. And I am bawling. Tears everywhere. And I can't stop.

Big hugs and love to you, your sister and Tanner.

He has already taught us so much. And so have you. Just look at allllllll the people rallying behind this. Sending their love and their support. Because of you. Because of him.

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


to you.

to your sister.

to Tanner.


4:17 PM  
Blogger Lara said...

you already know i posted about this. i find myself still wishing i could do more. i love your sister's letter. i think she has the focus exactly right - on tanner, on what he has to teach us all, and only secondarily on the pain. i imagine it's a hard perspective to keep at times, but i think she's a very special lady for it. i firmly believe wonderful things are in store for you all. much love. :)

4:31 PM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

I hate to cry.

Dammit. Too late.

That was a wonderful letter from your sister. Much love and hugs to her and Tanner and the rest of your family.

I also have a mention of it up on my site. I only wish I could have done more. Oh, wait! I can go bid on stuff!

4:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your sister's words are so very moving. What a strong, insightful, faithful, lovely soul she has and has passed along. Big tears here. Really, truly grateful that if this brings feelings of comfort or happiness than I am honored to be able to participate.

5:20 PM  
Blogger ewe are here said...

Great picture!

And I have visited the site; it's wonderful!

I will try to put a button up in support (Being in the UK is thwarting the us$ paypal account requirement to participate in actual bidding. Sigh).

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mommybloggers wrote it up and wants to spread the word any way we can. I also wrote it up on BlogHer.

Your sister's words really got me. I feel honored to be able to spread the word and help Tanner and his family.

5:49 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

I am actually posting about it as we speak, ok type, but seriously your sister is so right. ANd her son is adorable and I hope he lives a long life. But mostly I hope he lives as long as he wants too and that his life is not full of sadness and pain, but full of love and light.

5:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HUGS! Glad the message is getting around the blogosphere!

6:34 PM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

I'm like B&P, I was doing okay until I got to the photo.

Gonna post and shout it out as soon as I can.

7:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ah. the tears.
i love this post.

(and i think you already know i've been pimping this auction on both sites...)

7:49 PM  
Blogger liz said...

What a beautiful picture... and the letter...
...Crying in my wine, thanks.
Post going up tonight, requested a button as well.
It's just so wonderful to have that kind of love surrounding you...sending you all some from Brooklyn.

8:03 PM  
Blogger MrsFortune said...

I e-mailed the link and his story to all the moms I know and I know they will tell two friends and they'll tell two friends, etc. This is the worthiest cause I've seen in a while. And doesn't the kindness just choke you all up inside?

8:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What an awesome letter. And an awesome picture of Tanner. I posted about it earlier today.

Christmas-y hugs from the Much More Than a Mom family to yours!

8:44 PM  
Blogger j.sterling said...


tonight my blog talk radio show is with ashley drane. she's an actress who is also married to david eckstein (baseball player).. we're going to talk about being a role model. i thought it might be something you'd be interested inhearing, or calling in for! :)
8pm PST

9:42 PM  
Blogger Andi said...

One of the things that I love about the blogverse is that the words of strangers touch my heart and enrich my life. I am grateful for the opportunity to return that gift in whatever small way I'm able. Share with your sister and nephew the love of a stranger who would rather invest her energies in the lives of individuals (where they might do some small good) than in the tragedies of nations. (where they seem so very futile)

10:18 PM  
Blogger moplans said...

My girl just had the best time crafting her letter to Tanner. ( I translated the crayon scribbles for him). This auction is amazing. The talent and the heart of everyone involved makes me feel lucky to be part of this community.
Thanks for inspiring the action.

10:19 PM  
Blogger liz said...

I've sent in a notice about the auction to Babes in Blogland, as well.

10:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a beautiful letter from your sister--she is so strong!

I posted the button a few days ago, and a reminder today.

10:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

buttons, posts....but only because you asked for it...the giving is the love, bad...the giving is the love enough.

11:32 PM  
Blogger Lady M said...

Your sister wrote such a touching letter. You are an amazing family!

I wrote a post, but it wasn't very inspiring compared to what everyone else has written. Off to the auction!

1:20 AM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

Your sister is so right on. What a woman. What a mother. I'm in love with your entire family. Great people. Tanner is an inspiration. (I wrote a post, too. Hope it helped!)

2:08 AM  
Blogger metro mama said...

What an amazing, strong woman. Runs in the family I guess. I'm very proud to participate in the auction.

9:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your sister is so right...we must cherish the time we have with our loved ones.

I have told my friends about the aution and have posted a link on my little blog.

I am off to do some bidding.

9:48 AM  
Blogger Redneck Mommy said...

Posted about this yesterday. Spent some of the hubs hard earned dollars and sat the kiddies down with the crayons.

It's the least we can do for the support you've shown our family. : )

Your sister sounds amazing, but then, I guess it runs in your family?!

9:54 AM  
Blogger PunditMom said...

My pleasure to post and to donate good to the cause, HBM.

Even with all the other craziness in life, I try to stop and treasure all the little things R. does and says, even when it's about something as bizarre as wondering if Santa's reindeer poop on our roof!

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm linked and I plan to go drop some cash on the awesome items up for bid. This whole endeavor has been truly amazing.

Your sister sounds like a really special person as well.

10:46 AM  
Blogger NotSoSage said...

Well, I can't say that my blog is busy enough that it's likely to send very many people your way, but I have posted and I will be telling my non-blogosphere buddies about it, too.

Here's the link:


Your sister is in such an amazing place about it...I have a brother with what could be a terminal illness and it's taken me a very long time to come even close to the place she's in...and I think being a sister is *very* different from being a mother.

Off to buy raffle tickets!

10:52 AM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

You know, I know people say you just live with what you're dealt and figure out how to make the best, but I am so amazed at parents like your sister who can face something as hard as knowing your own much-beloved child will die one day before your very eyes and do so with courage and seeming equanimity. Give her a huge hug for me when you see her, will you please? And that photo is fantastic. It just defines fall fun for kids.

I held my post until today so the auction would be on already when it went up. I love how many people are spreading the word. This is such a neat thing.

1:00 PM  
Blogger Gabriella said...

this blogging world amazes me, from all parts of the world, coming together for one very good cause. It is truly wonderful. Hopefully anyone visiting my site will click on the button I posted!

1:04 PM  
Blogger Victoria said...

Just wanted to let you know I posted about Tanner today and put the button up. It's such a good thing you are doing.

2:55 PM  
Blogger ewe are here said...

And my site now has a button (which means I'm not completely computer incompetent)!! Woo-hoo!

3:27 PM  
Blogger karengreeners said...

not crying at work - bawling. your sister's words are touching.

i'm so pleased to be participating.

3:37 PM  
Blogger Kyla said...

BubTar will be sending Tanner a letter soon, and as soon as my husband helps me with Paypal; Auction here I come! :)

Your sister is amazing. I've had to look at things like what she is going through as possibilities and it is the most frightening thing I've ever had to face. To accept it as THE reality...wow. She is amazing. Tanner is blessed to have her, and she is blessed to have Tanner.

8:11 PM  
Blogger Kyla said...

BubTar will be sending Tanner a letter soon, and as soon as my husband helps me with Paypal; Auction here I come! :)

Your sister is amazing. I've had to look at things like what she is going through as possibilities and it is the most frightening thing I've ever had to face. To accept it as THE reality...wow. She is amazing. Tanner is blessed to have her, and she is blessed to have Tanner.

8:16 PM  
Blogger Laural Dawn said...

I spent the day feeling sorry for myself. And then I read this and realized I have so much to be grateful for. So Much.
Thank you.

8:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, HBM. I posted a post (http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com/2006/12/14/her-bad-auction/) and the button, and the auction looks FABULOUS! I'll be back to bid tomorrow!

Hugs and best wishes to little Tanner and his family. We're all rooting for him!!!

10:20 PM  
Blogger m said...

Your sister's letter slayed me. I'm sending as many good vibes possible your, hers and his way.

I've posted a link and a button. My blog doesn't get much traffic, but hopefully a few will come your way.

10:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What an awesome thing they have put together. I wish I knew about this in time to donate something. Bet your ass I'll be picking up some tickets though. I linked to it, hopefully it'll get a few more people over there.

Your sister...amazing. What an inspirational family.


11:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was lagging too this last week ...I dont think I was in time to donate an item for the auction :(
I'll be sharing Tanners story with my kids and I know they will be happy to write letters to such a fantastic little boy.
I hope your family has a very very Merry Christmas and pass our hugs on to Tanner!

12:19 AM  
Blogger Paige said...

He seems like a great kid. I was glad to help in whatever little way I could. I posted an item about him, asking people to visit the auction and write letters.

8:29 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Thanks, all. xoxo

11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sweetie,

I've posted an entry with a link to your event. Great idea! Also, thank you for looking in on "Mamacita."


11:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just bought my tickets and posted about the auction. What a fantastic thing these people have put together for Tanner and MD Canada. Isn't the blogosphere amazing?

...I'm gonna go fight with the HTML for the button now. I CAN post the button. I CAN do it. I CAN. I CAN. I CAN.

4:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bid, I posted, I linked, but I am a technological idiot, and so remain buttonless. Kidlets will be doing letters and pictures this weekend. We hope they offer some joy to Tanner, just like they bring joy to us when we do them.

6:30 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

This is wonderful, I'm so glad you shared it. Ok, off to bid...

8:16 PM  
Blogger Mocha said...

Making my way over to bid. Wonder if I can outbid mom101. You think she's loaded?

The problem is that I don't want or need baby stuff and probaly wouldn't want to bid against her. Unless it was a cute handbag.

9:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I donated. I put up the button. I will purchase. And if I can, I'll get The Happy Boy to do some drawing for Tanner.

Be Well.

10:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm honored to be a part of this. Tanner is a special child. He is loved.

11:07 PM  
Blogger the mystic said...

I'm a little late, as always, but honored to help in my very small way.

5:04 PM  
Blogger Ruth Dynamite said...

This is a beautiful note from your sister - and the kind of reminder we all could use. I will try to do my part!

2:05 PM  

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