Her Bad Mother

Sunday, August 27, 2006

What Did You Do With *Your* Old Pasties?

The It's Not Easy Being Green Dancers prepare for their upcoming command performance of Anne Geddes WTF: Geddes Gone Burlesque.

Performance is all about presence...


... and kick-ass costuming.

Dude. You gotta wear the pasties. I have a reputation to uphold.

You're takin' pasties for the team, Frog.

Gimmicky, yes, but it draws the crowds: PussyFrog Doll


I put pasties on my baby.*

I am a Bad Mother. I make no apologies.

(And, yes, I am an abuser of helpless toys. Kermit will doubtlessly require years of therapy to recover from the damage of being coerced into prancing about as a skank ho-phibian. Again, no apologies.)

And. Am hungover. Last night was TO mommyblogger debauchery, and all that buffing and vodka tonic slurping knocked me (already struggling with a cold) on my ass. It was all that I could do today to lift a hungover finger to upload exploitative pictures of my child and her amphibian dance companion.

Full report, with photos, tomorrow on MamaBlogsToronto.

In the meantime, seriously - what did you do (what would you do) with all those leftover pasties?

*You asked, Dawn. I delivered.


Blogger Mom101 said...

How is it possible that I can be laughing so hard at the hands of someone who's hungover?

(And pssst...I still saved a few pasties. For your trip to NY?)

10:22 PM  
Blogger metro mama said...

Can't wait for your recap!

I'm hungover too. I should turn the computer off and go to bed.

10:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ironically, I just found my leftovers as well... I was actually going to use them for real, but then I thought, I'll dress Q up and put them on her as she dances with kermit.

Damn you woman. You beat me to it.

11:54 PM  
Blogger SUEB0B said...

Thank you very effing much for making me pee my pants. Nice outfit on the girl.

12:06 AM  
Blogger Blog said...

Adorable WonderBaby!!!! Oy!
Can't wait to hear what I missed at the spatastic night out!

12:17 AM  
Blogger Lady M said...

I'm bummed I was on the wrong coast for the party! Good thing I didn't have any leftover pasties. It'd be hard to top the WTF burlesque!

12:24 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...



I'm so pissed.

1:02 AM  
Blogger Jen R. said...

OMG! I am so mad that I didn't get the pasties either...! Obviously, I am not running in the right Blogher circles.

But I have my own pasties that I bought at Macy's...have to have some every once in awhile.

1:32 AM  
Blogger ms blue said...

That costume is too much. Adorable explosion! I love it!

I think I've now had as many Advil as I had drinks last night.

1:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is kick-ass costuming at its finest (from one who knows about such things.)

Although what with the chicken costume and all, I would have expected Gonzo to make an appearance...

4:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Put that girl in theatre, she carries the costume with confidence.

6:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Now I guess I know what to do with mine.

8:30 AM  
Blogger OhTheJoys said...

THAT, is beautiful.

9:05 AM  
Blogger Mommygoth said...

I want to be you when i grow up. I'm going to go home and put pasties on my cat (I think my baby would just rip them off).

9:17 AM  
Blogger Karl said...

I'm so upset that I didn't get any pasties.

9:27 AM  
Blogger crazymumma said...

I think I needed those pasties to put over my eyes after the other night with all the ladies...a little tired and hung I would say...
Hope you feel better.

9:30 AM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

omigod - I'm crying from laughing so hard. That costume! AHHHHH!
I heart the PussyFrog Dolls

9:56 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

That costume is so cute! And oh the pasties! Dying laughing over here.

9:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm feeling compelled to actually PURCHASE some of those babies. We've got a Raggedy Ann costume around here that needs to be defiled.

10:02 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Mom-101 - You've just answered the question (pressing on my brain all week) of what one wears to meet Gloria Steinem.

Roo - I totally thought of you the whole time I was doing this (what would Roo think? Will Roo approve?) There was definitely Roo-spiration at play!

All - any of you get pasties on a cat or a man or some other unsuspecting or reluctant party and provide me with photographic evidence or Kegel-straining graphic description and you'll earn my undying respect and admiration and a customized command performance from the INEBG Dancers!

10:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used them as nipple shields when I was wearing a sheer backless dress a few weeks ago. I was hoping for some sort of wardrobe malfunction, but alas it never happened.

10:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If had actually GONE to BlogHer, I would use them as button covers on a jacket and wear them to our PTA's Open House tomorrow night.

10:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Note to self: Buy Kaitlyn a chicken costume for Halloween. Decorate with pasties. Tell neighbors she was playing with stickers. Buy a large Kermit, too.

I *heart* WonderBaby!

11:39 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

I got to see one of these classic pics on your camera on Saturday night but with the full effect reveal...now that is even MORE hilarious.

Smitten with Wonderbaby. Even in pasties. You crack me up.

12:12 PM  
Blogger Annie, The Evil Queen said...

These are hysterical. I love her costume. I think Kermit was probably cross dressing way before you got to him so don't worry about therapy. Wonderbaby wears them with such a look of confidence.

12:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, so WHERE did you get the costume????

12:42 PM  
Blogger Kel said...

OMG...I'm laughing so hard my co-workers think I'm nuts. (ah well they already know I'm nuts.)

I LOVE IT! The costume is sooooo cute.

1:14 PM  
Blogger nonlineargirl said...

That girl is ready for her world tour. I'm running out to buy my tickets now.

2:44 PM  
Blogger j.sterling said...

LMFAO! why the hell is she dressed in that!? LOL.. i love it... TOO MUCH!

5:19 PM  
Blogger urban-urchin said...

The costume is so freaking cute. I want one for my little man.

How cute is that baby?1

9:22 PM  
Blogger Gidge Uriza said...

I think that the muppets fully embrace loving everyone and none of them would have an issue with Kermie's cross dressing adventures.

Thanks for bringing this important issue into the light for us all to ponder......

okay kidding, that was a hoot.

9:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jim Henson is turning in his grave right now!

*spin spin, whirrr whirrr*

Can you hear it?

Thanks for the much-needed chuckle, you wacky beyotch! And be sure to thank WB for the cuteness :)

12:35 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

The chick outfit is from Children's Place. It is both horrifying and adorable and I couldn't resist the temptation to mess with it some way.

Which is to say, I derive pleasure from dressing up my child in funny outfits and taking pictures and cannot resist an opportunity to do so. Is that wrong?

10:12 AM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Do you think you could get a group therapy discount for the frog and Wonderbaby?

WB - "Yes, doctor, when I was just a wee babe my mother dressed me up like a chicken (duck?) and forced me to wear pasties. The frog had to wear them too. Now I have a deep love for poultry and burlesque. Ooh, and frog's legs. They taste like poultry."
Frog - "Hey! So that was you nibbling on my ankles when I was sleeping. You said it was the cat."

You are nuts. I love ya!

10:25 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Well, now that we're trying for baby #2, those pasties have gone into my arsenal for nights when I need a little something extra to get the huz into the mood. Or to make him laugh.

1:37 PM  
Blogger Tracey said...

you rule.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Mary Tsao said...

She's too sexy for her pasties, you bad mother, you.

5:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's wonderful!

Of course, years of therapy for Kermit, but still very, very funny :^)

5:40 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

So cute. I adore her costume. You are so mean to Kermie. Do they have frog therapy?

7:08 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Crap. Sorry, I ahdn't read any of the others. I didn't copy Ann, I promise. :)

7:09 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

absolutely love the outfit - and the original touches.

7:17 PM  
Blogger Stacy said...

Sometimes hungover posts are the most entertaining! I enjoyed your pasties.

7:37 PM  
Blogger Sharpie said...

TOO Funny!! I mean, pasties are fun - none-the-less, no??

8:17 PM  
Blogger Gina said...

First of all, that is ONE cute chick!!! That costume kills me! Absolutly stinkin' hilariously cute!

And second, I love your "no apologies" way of reporting. You are awesome!

1:13 AM  
Blogger ewe are here said...

This is hysterically cute. Wonderbaby is absolutely adorable in her duckie with pasties outfit.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who dresses their little one up once in a while. ;-)

4:10 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Oooh, WonderBaby hits ThisNext! She's honored, truly. Taking a little bow as we speak.

(Kermie, on the other had, is mortified. Mortified.)

(And yes, frogs have nipples. Duh. Little froggy nipples. For the tadpoles. No?)

11:34 PM  
Blogger Creative-Type Dad said...

Too funny!!

LOVE those pictures!!

1:48 AM  
Blogger cara said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you. My everyday thoughts exactly. Sometimes I feel like wearing a placard around my head saying "This woman can't keep up."

6:41 PM  

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