Her Bad Mother

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

It's Time to Play the Music

Everyone's home, everyone has posted. We're all laughed out (sort of), and cried out (mostly), and anyone who wasn't there is probably well and truly sick of hearing about it.

So I won't say anything more about it. I reflected on my feelings about leaving it behind, and that's enough. Others have done amazing, link-rich recaps, and I couldn't possibly add anything to the reminiscence other than to say: you were all wonderful, and amazing, and there's now a little empty space in my heart that can only be filled with daily infusions of your words.

You were, you are, all rock star bloggers, rock star women, rock star people, my friends. All of you.

What hasn't been said enough - that that 'all of you' includes the many, many women and men who were not there. That you were none of you forgotten this past weekend. That your names and your words floated through conversations like so many bright and buoyant balloons (none of which bore corporate logos, by the way. Just wanted to use this picture). And that it was a sweet sweet pleasure to come home and sit in the quiet of my home while WonderBaby napped and open my laptop and find you all there, continuing to weave your, our, tapestry of words. Continuing to write this vast, communal book.

Such a comfort.

I had meant to do a big linky-love post covering all of the Great Mupproustian Interviews while I was at BlogHer, so that you all would be linked up during all of the frenzied BlogHer surfing, but I was distracted. Really distracted. And, at times, a little bit drunk. For this negligence I am sorry.

So, in a lame attempt to make it up, I am sending out the linky-love now. A day (or four) late, and a dollar short, but with love. Go, read these interviews, and acquaint yourselves with these wonderful writers...

In the very small corner of the world that is Toronto, we had a round-robin interview par-tayJana (SomethingBlue) did MamaTulip; MamaTulip did Kittenpie; Kittenpie did Sunshine Scribe; Sunshine Scribe did MetroMama; MetroMama did BubandPie; BubandPie did MotherBumper; MotherBumper did Scarbiedoll; Scarbie did PenelopeandBumblebee; Penelope did Jana. Aaaand... in addition to all that circle action, UrbanMommy did herself, as did Krista and AC and Christy. You can read a summary of their interviews, with links and pictures, in the not-so-secret Toronto mama blogger clubhouse.

Marla (with special appearance by Boo), Brenda and Andrea of Beanie Baby did their interviews after the Toronto round-up had been posted, but they are no less special for this. (They will, actually, be extra special, because I will profile them at the clubhouse. Soon.)

Individually, all of these women are lovely people and wonderful writers. Together, they're kinda like the Electric Blogger Mayhem of Canada. (And no, I'm not sayin' who's Animal...)

But wait! There's more! The Great Mupproustian Interview Experiment could not be contained by free-trade agreements and long border-crossing line-ups...

Amy of Binkytown overcame a big fat I'm-not-going-to-BlogHer sulk to do her interview and made me only slightly nervous with her statement that she wished Carmela Soprano had a blog (just for the smack talk and the recipes, Amy? Or for taking out hits on BlogHer blatherers? Hm?) So, for being funny, and for scaring me a little, Amy, I think, is a little bit Phyllis Diller circa 1976...

Amy tagged Lynsalyns of the delectable Chicken-and-Cheese, who expressed the wish that Scarlett O' Hara and Martin Scorcese had blogs. Which, yes, would be interesting - especially if they ended up doing a BlogMe tag and interviewed each other...

Scarlett: Whatevah shall ah do? Whereevah shall ah go?

Scorsese: What the fuck does that question mean? Where the fuck's my Oscar?

... or not. Anyway.

Lynsalyns, you're Gonzo. Because it's so easy.

Amy also tagged Mommycakes, who is kick-ass funny and who proved it by insisting that it would be fascinating if Santa had a blog, if only so that we could know whether we are on his list and find out what Mrs. Santa gets up to while he's delivering presents. 'Cause, duh - if Santa had a blog he would not post his list. Which means that he also wouldn't have a blogroll and that he immediately become less interesting. Although I imagine that the comments would be interesting (Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is that fucking Oscar, Yours, Marty S.) And, hello? You want to find out what's on Mrs. Santa's mind? Read the Basement. She's posted there. Special prize if you can guess which one.

Mommycakes, you're Fozzie-Gone-Grinch. I mean that in the best possible way.

Lynsalyns tagged Sandy of SuperMommy, and I'm so glad that she did, because she is way funny and gave one of my favorite answers to the question, what real or historical figure (var. fictional character) do you most wish had a blog? Her answer: George W. Bush.

Tracy at Maternally Challenged (who I just met through Devra, and who is really, really funny. After you read her interview, you must read the post entitled Lardbutts. That's an order) gave the same answer. And it's really such a good answer - don't we all wish that we knew what was going on in that head? Problem is, there's a very good possibility that there is absolutely nothing at all going on in that head and so a Dubya blog might very well turn out to be one long rumination on Cheetos. And, I have my doubts that he could manage the spelling.

Sandy and Tracy, you can fight over which of you is Statler and which is Waldorf. I'm not callin' it...

(Okay, so, I would totally give a prize to anyone who could compose a post in the style of Dubya. Hell, I’d give a prize to anyone who did a post in the style of any character of fiction or real or historical figure. The prize would probably be along the lines of WonderBaby choreographs a dance performance with her troupe, in your honour, but still. It’d be cool. Think about it.)

Mayberry, who did go to BlogHer and graced us all with her loveliness, said that she’d like to see an Jane Austen character with a blog. Me too. I’d like to see Lizzie blog about mommying the Darcy family. I’m willing to bet that Mr. was a bit of a slouch on the diapers, and that he insisted upon CIO, and that this maybe caused a bit of tension in the Darcy hizzouse. Which, come to think of it, might also have been a series of Basement posts...

(Ms. Mayberry, my friend, you're totally Very Special Guest Star Julie Andrews, making all the monsters go gushie and soft.)

Heather of Cool Zebras (cool name) is calling for Mama Berenstain or Caillou's mom to start a blog. Which raises the question: when cartoon characters blog, do they blog in animation? And, more importantly, would they feel set apart from human mommybloggers? Would they resent the term 'mommyblogger' as being both disrespectful of their writing and unnecessarily anthropocentric?

For raising such important questions, Heather, you get to masquerade as the woman who brought motherhood to cartoonish heights and who would have been, in her day, the ultimate mommyblogger (if there had been computers waaaay back then, in da olden days, that is.)

I haven't spent nearly enough time at Under The Ponderosas, but that's gonna change. She lives in a small town near the mountains in Oregon and you can practically smell that sweet, woody mountain air in her prose. She calls for an Ursula LeGuin blog, which, yes, would be cool, but given the recent forest fire troubles in her area, I'd be calling for Smoky the Bear to start an Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires blog.

So, um, yeah, this is predictable, but you gotta be the Bear.

WAYA stands for Who Asked You Anyway?, which may very well be the most appropriate title for a blog, evah. And, as it happens, I asked her (via a tag-prompt from Heather at Cool Zebras), and she said this: Tom Cruise. To which I can only say this: if Tom Cruise had a blog, I would totally become a blogtard and snark him daily. But he wouldn't have a blog, because blogging almost certainly causes one to become overrun by Thetans.

And speaking of not-so-heterosexual alien space-freaks, WAYA, maybe you'd like to play dress-up as Elton John? If only for the shoes and killer shades?

(Ba dum DUM!)

Thanks for playing, all. 'Twas fun, and if I'd had a drink in each hand and pasties on my boobs I might almost have imagined that I was reliving BlogHer while writing this post.

Anyone out there who still wants to play, you can find the questions at the end of this post.

(Long sharp toot on kazoo.)

Now, excuse me while I go wilt.


Happy Birthday, Mo!!! XOXOXO

(K, you'll get yours. Be patient. I need poetic inspiration to do it up right...)

Wigs are inspiring.

(Yes, it's a recycled photo. Told you: wilting in heat and lacking inspiration and today's diaper editorial just didn't cut it. Deal.)


Blogger Mayberry said...

The hiiiillls are aaaaaalive...

4:46 PM  
Blogger Sharon L. Holland said...

I have not done the interview, though I'm thinking on it. But I fear in this hip and fashionable crowd, I would inevitably be Sam the Eagle.

4:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WonderBaby napped?

Mayberry, I'm thinking more along the lines of "A spoonful of sugaaaaaar helps the medicine go doooooowwwwwn!"

HBM, I love you. I think that's going to be my standard comment on all of your future posts. Just...I love you.

4:50 PM  
Blogger j.sterling said...

the wig is FABULOUS! INSPIRING! even if i've seen it before- i forgive you because you have fabulous boobs! yeah, you heard me!

5:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the love of God woman. Can you have any more linky love included in one post? (Okay, I won't ask again).

How great for folks to do this... I'm going to take all evening and then some to read.

5:48 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I am looking forward to finding out who I am. Thankfully, my verbosity will probably cross Shields and Yarnell off the shortlist.

6:06 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

OMG, I am laughing so hard. Scarlett and Marty, kindred souls, no?

Where's my fucking Oscar? AHH HAAH HAAH HHAA.

You kill me. I love you, really, I love you.

But dude, the chicken? C'mon. :)

Who gets to be Miss Piggy?

6:12 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

I'm so glad you got to use the balloon ie latex metaphor for my saggy postpartum boobs photo.

You're too kind to do this - I still haven't caught up with reading and now here! A million more reads! If they're hbm sanctioned, I know they'll be good.

6:37 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

I often feel like the guy with the flying fish. That explode.

What is his name?

6:52 PM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

Hey, do we Toronto people get muppetized too?

Gah. More reading is not what I need, but I guess I'll be off to do some now...

7:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a photo well worthy of recycling- it's hilarious.

9:05 PM  
Blogger Devra said...

We'll have to drag Tracy to Chicago now that more people are getting to know her. Look for her blog tour which will be coming up soon to support her latest book. "The Ghost in the House" which has been released this week!

9:50 PM  
Blogger Sandy said...

That was awesome!!!
I call Waldorf, I call Waldorf!

10:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am adoring, ADORING, this post with the pictures. Oh so funny. I love the muppeting.

11:01 PM  
Blogger karengreeners said...

oh god - am i gonzo?

11:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I couldn't resist!

It's Wednesday evening (actually 12:30 am) and Lynda Hirshman is on Colbert Report!

I hope you are not missing this! She will be destroyed tonight!

12:42 AM  
Blogger Jezer said...

Hee--with all these links, I have even more reason to hole up in the air conditioning and read!

And there are NEVER enough photos out there of babies in wigs. That one is definitely worth repeating.

7:29 AM  
Blogger Miguelita said...

"kick-ass funny" - Moi? I am swooning, and it's not from the heat.

9:01 AM  
Blogger Lena said...

I don't know what made me laugh louder: your Dubya cheetos comment or wonderbaby in her chill 'fro.

2:06 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Even tho I've seen that pic before, it's still cuter than hell to me. :)
And I thought about doing that self-interview, but I got performance anxiety, much like I do when trying to pee in a public restroom, and froze up and couldn't. Sorry.
But I will totally have a blast reading through these other, able-to-pee-in-public-restrooms, bloggers' interviews!

2:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."
-Phyllis Diller
THANK YOU HBM! You rock!

2:49 PM  
Blogger Mary Tsao said...

Thanks for all of the Toronto links. I need to check out these bad ass Toronto moms.

Hey, I read on some other blog that Toronto is having a big "colorful" party this week (that's all I remember.) Have fun!

11:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


(of wonderbaby.)

5:58 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

KittenPIe - yeah, y'all'll get Muppeted. Gimme time.

Dawn, Dawnie, Dawnikins - you are SOOO Flying Fish Guy - LEW ZEALAND!

12:03 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

So much linky love. So little time. I have a week's worth of catching up to do and now .... well I am just plain overwhelmed :)

7:42 AM  

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