Her Bad Mother

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Taggy Taggerson and The Tagbots

Tagged, by Mrs. Chicky. Everyone else is doing it, right? (But if everyone else was jumping off of a bridge, sweetie...?) Must conform!

So. Six sorta weird, but completely random and mostly uninteresting things about me:

1) I was often told, when I was young, that I looked like Dana Plato. You know, that chick from Diff’rent Strokes who ended up a gun-toting drug addict? And died? That one. The resemblance stopped being interesting ‘round about the time she robbed the video store at gunpoint. But I hung onto those bangs for a long time.

2) I make up voices for my cats and have long, intense conversations with them about philosophy, rap music and reality TV shows, in which I use my own voice and then articulate their responses in the made-up voices. This has trailed off somewhat since the birth of WonderBaby, who is a more active conversational partner.

3) Oh, hey, funny story: I was once held against my will for two weeks on a Greek island by a weirdo who claimed to be in love with me. It ended when I was able to pick a lock to get into a room with a telephone and call my parents, who contacted the Greek authorities and Interpol. Then I escaped out a window, fled to safe-housing arranged by Interpol and was later smuggled onto a ferry in the middle of the night. I am not making this up.

4) I lived in Spain from the time I was 19 until I was 21, having bailed on University to become an autodidact and write the Great Canadian Novel (which, as it happened, I had no interest in writing in Canada.) I sat around parks and smoky bars in Barcelona writing angsty crap about how my Spanish boyfriend was a cheating liar, but gave that up after a while to become a triple-threat performer (Sing! Dance! Act!) in a touring bilingual musical theater troupe. I’m not making this up, either.

5) I have never actually broken up with a boyfriend. I ended relationships, but always did so passively-aggressively, by compelling them to break up with me (techniques ranged from the classic ‘distancing’ move – never returning phone calls – to arranging for them to be seduced while drunk by a slutty friend so that I could later have an outraged freak-out about their indiscretion and never see them again. Yes, I really did that.)

6) That cycle of evil ended - as did the more troubling cycle of evil that was my predilection for angsty writing – when I was barely into my twenties, around the time that I returned to Canada from Spain and met the future Bad Father. We met young and married young - does that count as weird? - and I am beyond grateful to God/the gods/Fortuna for having arranged that I grow up, into adulthood, with the most wonderful man in the world. Which reminds me…

The best, not-so-weird thing?

I have only been, and will only be, in love once. The day that I met the future Bad Father, I fell in love for the first and last time. And? Out of that love came WonderBaby. So…

7) I’m blessed.

(Or, to put it differently? Things turned out a hell of a lot better for me than they did for Dana Plato.)

So, I must now tag 6 unsuspecting bloggers.... hmm.... some of you have probably been tagged already, but what the hell...

1.) Jezer (Again! Because I know you love it! And we gotta keep the Jezer posts comin'!)
2.) Kristen
3.) Redneck Mommy
4.) chichimama
5.) kittenpie
6.) Sherry
7.) Urban Mommy (I know, your hands are full of newborn goodness, but ya gotta post something fun before you get down to sharing the grim details of the Mother of all Bad Weekends.)

If you're reading this, and I haven't tagged you, and you haven't been tagged yet by someone else, consider yourself tagged. But note well: if you choose to accept this mission, the RULES, below, apply to you.

So, yeah, rules. 'Cause you know that you're not really having fun until someone busts out some RULES:

1.) Tell us six weird things about yourself. (I broke this rule. Why? Because it's my blog and sometimes I like to go a little W.I.L.D. here.)
2.) Come back here and let me know when you've completed the tag so that I can come over and giggle/chortle/comment/etc.
3.) Tag 6 more bloggers. (OK, I broke this rule, too. I got carried away. It's tag, dudes!)
4.) Let those people know that you've tagged them.

I think that's it. I'm gonna go try to get drunk now. Wish me luck.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW. And I thought my "I found a 1200 word palindrome to get out of a Music Theory final in grad school" was good...

You're a hard act to follow on this one. :)

10:26 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Um, rewind here...held against your will for two weeks? That's not a paragraph in a meme, that's a novel. Hope to hear more about that one at a later date.

10:53 PM  
Blogger Redneck Mommy said...

You can't just drop #3 on us and then walk away. You are a blog tease! You must post more! How on earth can I remotely touch your tag? I live in the sticks, for crying out loud. I'm gonna have to get me some wine....helps to get my creative juices flowing.

11:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Why didn't you just write "Me" and that would have been your answer?

You are totally weird.

I'm loving you.

11:51 PM  
Blogger The City Gal said...

Unusual request:

WonderBaby is the cutest little girl I have ever seen, and based on what I hear, the smartest. would you please post more pictures of her? one or two more?

oh my! cutie! God Bless your family.

11:59 PM  
Blogger Kristi said...

OK, I think #3 deserves a tiny bit more information. Or even a whole book's worth?

12:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hehehe Love the bangs!

1:23 AM  
Blogger ms blue said...

Whatcha talkin' about? Those cats are damn witty.

I've burst out into a rousing chorus line of "Up, Up With People" and I don't know why.

Point 5 is chic lit in the making. But Oh. My. Point 3 I just keep reading over and over. So glad that you escaped. I will unquestionably get in line for this novel.

3:12 AM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Here I was, feeling all bad and stuff about tagging you with a Meme and you go and drop some of those beauts on us. How do you go from Dana Plato bangs to being held hostage in Greece? Did you still have the bangs at the time? I won't rest until I know.

7:43 AM  
Blogger Christina said...


My life is downright small-town sitting-on-the-porch watching-the-cars-drive-by boring compared to you!

I can totally see the conversation with the cats. They are Siamese, after all, and so they are intelligent creatures. You were just filling in what I'm sure they were thinking.

8:45 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

Okay, so I was expecting to read about double joints and weird food fettishes and you pull out wild stories about being held captive in GREECE?? Whoa. Fabulously interesting list.

10:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You look like Dana Plato AND you've been held captive in Greece? You make my wierdness look positively DULL!

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read your list with bated breath...what happenned to the guy?

11:27 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

I guess that I'll have to do a post about the Greece thing. It's really not all that interesting - I wasn't snatched off the street or anything, just the result of some bad decisions. I'd met Creepy Creepopolous in Amsterdam - wasn't obviously creepy and anyway, I thought he was *gay* - and kept in touch over the following year. When I ended up between paying gigs the next summer, he said that he could get me a job on Naxos (where his family lived and ran a number of businesses, incuding the island radio station). When I got there, there was no job, my passport got locked away in the same room as the telephone, and I acquired a thuggy Greek 'bodyguard' who got between me and any and all English-speaking persons. Creepy declared his love and spent days insisting that I would really be happy living on Naxos rather than in Barcelona and that I just needed to give it a chance and refused to let me a) contact anybody, and b) leave. The lock-picking, window-leaping escape I noted above; I'll save the descriptives for another day. Nothing happened to Creepy that I know of: the Greek authorities weren't interested in anything other than ensuring that a 'tourist' be able to get off the island; Interpol couldn't really do anything without the co-operation of the Greeks. I was told that it was almost certainly a sex-trade slavery thing, but I really think that Creepy was just that - creepy. And lonely.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Stacy said...

wow - sounds like your list could have been a lot longer. one day you'll have to post more about your time spent in Greece with Creepy Creepopolous!

2:14 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I don't think it's weird to have only been in love once! I think that's just how it is- you only fall in REAL love once. Oh, and I'm accepting the tagging, but I have to have some time to do it! It will be up tomorrow- I swear! LOL.

3:28 PM  
Blogger Bridgermama said...

My Meme seems so sad and boring now. How could I possible compete with the story about the Psycho Greek Freak?

8:21 PM  
Blogger SUEB0B said...

Yes, I feel the same as bridgermama...but I am so glad I found your blog through your comment on MY blog!


9:44 PM  
Blogger MrsFortune said...

Uh, yah, I'm with everyone else on #3, and it deserves much more than a comment!!! This is a fascinating meme.

10:29 PM  
Blogger Redneck Mommy said...

Mission accomplished. I would like to point out, however, my meme is no where as interesting as yours. You are a hard act to follow! Happy Easter.

12:17 PM  
Blogger Jezer said...

See? You have the talent AND the fodder for some great novels. I, too, am stunned by #3.

Oh, and I completed my six, but alas, compared to this, it's Snoozeville.

12:18 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I hope you were able to get drunk! I haven't been buzzin and happy in a while...you're making me yearn LOL. BTW, I posted my 6 things- I was tagged by a few people- just wanted to let you know I've joined the fun!

3:05 PM  

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