Her Bad Mother

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker

Still Life with Developmental Toys

10 things I learned this weekend:

1) Martini shakers, when filled with ice, vodka and a whisper of dry Vermouth, make awesome rattles. Cocktail hour can be fun for all ages!

2) One very, very dry vodka martini (shaken, with an olive) is the precise amount of alcohol required for getting me drunk after my 14-month pregnancy/breastfeeding paranoia hiatus from drinking (10 month hiatus, if you count virtuous nips at breastmilk-boosters like Guinness as 'drinking.' I don't.)

3) It is also the precise amount of alcohol required for a post-hiatus hangover.

4) Hangovers SUCK.

5) Hangovers suck worse when you have to wake in the middle of the night to attend to an unruly infant who was, presumably, overstimulated by all the martini shaker/rattle action earlier in the evening...

6) ...and when you have to wake again shortly before dawn...

7) ...and shortly after dawn.

8) The suckiness that is the hangover is further worsened by the presence of another adult who is not hungover and who remains oblivious to the war cries of the above-mentioned infant.

9) The suckiness that is the hangover is lessened when that other adult SUCKS IT UP and takes over care of the infant so that hungover mother can crawl back under the covers for another hour or two of blissful, blissful sleep.

10) Sleep helps the hangover. So do soft peanut butter cookies and chocolate milk. So does this:

Oh, sweetie, Mommy's a little bleary, but she sure does love you...

Now give back that martini shaker.


Blogger Jezer said...

Mmmmmm, chocolate milk!

I thought I had a hangover this morning, but alas, it was only the feverish aches that accompanied my first (and hopefully last) bout of mastitis. The upshot? I had the perfect excuse to pile up in bed with the boy and watch TLC all afternoon.

I hope your hangover is gone and tonight's sleep is long and restful!

9:59 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

If the other adult is oblivious to the war cries of the infant, I bet he wouldn't be oblivious to a hard shove and the words, "Your turn." Always works for me!

8:48 AM  
Blogger icancarryallthebagsandthebabiestoo said...

She's sooooo sweet. I remember how easy it is to fall off the edge of the olive on your martini glass after pregnancy! Your college tolerance is gone for good, my friend! Look in your rear view mirror and wave one last good-bye to it! Ha! I'm really enjoying your blog. It's really fun!

3:00 PM  
Blogger ninepounddictator said...

Isn't it funny what we give our kids to play with? here, a cap from my water bottle! Have fun!!

Ok, you sound like you had a good time...I'm actually envious that you have a hangover....sad, but true...

It's just that waking up with a hangover these days - and facing raising a baby - is just too much...

Still, I wanna be you right now!

10:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You had vodka martinis? And didn't share?


11:57 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Thanks all for the recovery wishes; I did, indeed, recover, but only after a lot of chocolate milk and Tylenol and an afternoon spent on the sofa watching the first season of Lost on DVD while Husband tended to Baby.

The biggest lesson here? I need to do some serious drinking training to get back uo to fighting form.

12:01 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

yuck- hangovers. I've only had one like twice- I think I must be an alki! LOL. But I too noticed that I became a one drink drunk after pregnancy. The few times I decided it was time to D-R-I-N-K, I had the Boyfriend take over the baby care for me. LOL.

1:23 PM  
Blogger tracey clark said...

well, at least it was a martini hang-over and not one from a Bud Lite at Chuck E. Cheese. NOt that i would ever know what that's like.
you've got some sophistication lady and i like that in a mom.

3:56 PM  
Blogger scarbie doll said...

Oooh, I'd hate when I'd have to tend to him slightly inebriated. I'd always have that debate like, "Am I too hammered to stick a boob in his mouth? Will the alcohol in the breastmilk put him right back to sleep or will it make him a dummy?"

Cute pic!

4:52 PM  
Blogger Cindy said...

I know this is a little old by now but for a hangover the best cure is McDonalds. I know I know sounds gross but a cheeseburger always does the trick. Just a little something I learned in high school.

2:53 AM  

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