tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post8130347508235262639..comments2023-11-02T08:09:02.234-04:00Comments on Her Bad Mother: Hold The MustardHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger154125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-66220048670850330102009-01-06T09:26:00.000-05:002009-01-06T09:26:00.000-05:00Here's mine:http://badmummynocookie.blogspot.com/2...Here's mine:<BR/><BR/>http://badmummynocookie.blogspot.com/2007/09/some-days-are-just-shitty.htmlRebshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14109683740173611940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-45061006334526598232008-11-10T15:57:00.000-05:002008-11-10T15:57:00.000-05:00Sorry I'm late to the Poop Story Party.I was low (...Sorry I'm late to the Poop Story Party.<BR/><BR/>I was low (read "had NOTHING") on diapering supplies on an airplane from Houston, Texas to Columbus, Ohio. My child emptied herself and I managed somehow to clean that up and used the last 2 wipes and the last diaper I had. Well, apparently, she wasn't finished, because about an hour later, she got busy and whipped out a large mustardy bomb which went through the final diaper and all over her clothes. I now had no wipes, no spare clothes for her and no diapers. I managed to find a burp cloth that was covered in cracker crumbs and some duct tape (I'm not sure why THAT was in the diaper bag with me) at the bottom of the diaper bag. I was wearing a denim shirt over my tshirt (it was winter), so I put my denim shirt on her with her MacGyver-like diaper and prayed that she was done with her jobs. Thankfully, she was. Until we got to Columbus. But by then, I had my luggage and the wealth of diapers at my disposal. :)<BR/><BR/>I love your story. Especially the proper use of all the verb tenses of "shit".ADishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11470187846599011776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-85469350259459569082008-11-08T02:01:00.000-05:002008-11-08T02:01:00.000-05:00I just changed a mustard poop and am traumatized. ...I just changed a mustard poop and am traumatized. Assaulted by smell and even worse, the mess caked in the spindles of the crib, which is why I am perusing blogs at 2am. I think I will indulge in some wine since I have been scrubbing for at least 30 minutes and actually wiped a butt with several Chlorox Clean Ups (ps..They don't contain bleach..But even if they did..I would STILL be tempted)..It was THAT bad. All I have to say is POOP on EYELASHES. I am suspecting pink eye in a couple of days. I am sure a blast with a one year old who is a complete drama queen.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-24276740821580449812008-11-07T12:24:00.000-05:002008-11-07T12:24:00.000-05:00No, you win the baby poop award. Absolutely.No, you win the baby poop award. Absolutely.Magpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08239311951910405878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-32814489917663739862008-11-07T10:11:00.000-05:002008-11-07T10:11:00.000-05:00Some things you just never forget--when my daughte...Some things you just never forget--when my daughter, who is now 34 years old, was a baby, my mother and I took her and my son to lunch at McDonalds. Becca was sitting in a high chair, when Mt. Vesuvious erupted. The lava flow of liquid baby poo pour out of her diaper, down the legs of the high chair, and onto the floor. My mother gagged. I wanted to fall through a hole in the floor. Mother took my son to the car, while I tried to clean up the mess. It was so horrible that even now, 34 years later, I can not go into a McDonald's, the memory is that embarassing.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11731276173410889180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-27197566914467063982008-11-02T03:10:00.000-05:002008-11-02T03:10:00.000-05:00been there, done that. we used to call it the poop...been there, done that. we used to call it the poop du jour.Judihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04578733001416545959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-68620084355969065422008-10-31T00:14:00.000-04:002008-10-31T00:14:00.000-04:00I've run out of diapers, too. Or found out too lat...I've run out of diapers, too. Or found out too late that MM had just that minute grown out of them.Liz Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09469435277058701080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-56651406875510281382008-10-30T08:51:00.000-04:002008-10-30T08:51:00.000-04:00There's a book in this collection of stories, I ca...There's a book in this collection of stories, I can feel it :).<BR/><BR/>That was a fantastic poop story! You handled it so well - I'm just imagining that poor woman's face ... I was laughing with you, not at you, really! I think you did just great ... and your hubby hero with the glass of wine... good call.<BR/><BR/>I have my share of them, poop stories I mean, but I think I've blocked most of them from my mind now that we've been diaper/ pull up free for a year. I still carry an extra set of clothes and a pack of wipes with us everywhere ...old habits die hard.Karen MEGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10834425321020756655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-13541265639498537822008-10-26T19:32:00.000-04:002008-10-26T19:32:00.000-04:00people who dont have kids always have all sorts of...people who dont have kids always have all sorts of grand ideas of how they will be when they are parents. Ha. Its harder than it looks, people! <BR/>As for the poop story - when my boys were 2 & 3, the 3 year old was newly potty trained. I went up to get my 2 year old from his crib and found that he had pooped, taken off his clothes and his diaper, and thrown the poop all around the room. there were pieces in his crib, on the floor - pretty much everywhere. it took me a long time to clean the whole thing up but when we finally came downstairs, clean, poop thrown out, sheets changed, etc... my 3 year old was standing in the hallway, in a puddle of pee, with....yep, you guessed it. poopy underwear!!!Shoshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13085648573425127432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-79278378900134628812008-10-25T20:27:00.000-04:002008-10-25T20:27:00.000-04:00Someone drove their car through the front doors of...Someone drove their car through the front doors of our local Kelsey's a few weeks ago. That really has nothing to do with your story, but I think I'd rather be covered in poo than glass and drywall and insurance nightmares. Maybe Kelsey's is just bad luck??Sherendipityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15741942385232109853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-36199067385128892882008-10-24T02:47:00.001-04:002008-10-24T02:47:00.001-04:00Nothing quite so bad here, but I can tell you the ...Nothing quite so bad here, but I can tell you the story of the day I switched to reusable cloth wipes - Inigo did a poo that went from his ankles to his shoulder blades (under the clothes), and I used almost a packet of wipes cleaning both of us, the change table, and the floor of my very neat friends house! <BR/><BR/>And years ago, back when I was never going to have children, a friends baby exploded all over a picnic rug. She went to grab something to clean it all up with, and while she was gone one of her dogs came and "took care of" most of the mess.<BR/><BR/>It seriously damaged my psyche.Larahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02360034185798990926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-82937488114904519952008-10-24T02:47:00.000-04:002008-10-24T02:47:00.000-04:00Nothing quite so bad here, but I can tell you the ...Nothing quite so bad here, but I can tell you the story of the day I switched to reusable cloth wipes - Inigo did a poo that went from his ankles to his shoulder blades (under the clothes), and I used almost a packet of wipes cleaning both of us, the change table, and the floor of my very neat friends house! <BR/><BR/>And years ago, back when I was never going to have children, a friends baby exploded all over a picnic rug. She went to grab something to clean it all up with, and while she was gone one of her dogs came and "took care of" most of the mess.<BR/><BR/>It seriously damaged my psyche.Larahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02360034185798990926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-84538559138836804992008-10-24T02:09:00.000-04:002008-10-24T02:09:00.000-04:00Good Lord ... with posts like this, who needs anti...Good Lord ... with posts like this, who needs antidepressants?! I got laughing so hard at the post and the comments I ran out of time to go pick up my new scrip from the drugstore before it closed, and I've laughed more in the last hour than I have in WEEKS.<BR/><BR/>So now, if all these lovely ladies would just be so kind as to post hysterically funny stories every day for, oh, the next six months or so ... ;)Mommerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16826556429464133164noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-79695965494512130682008-10-24T02:04:00.000-04:002008-10-24T02:04:00.000-04:00We call them poo-splosions, and lucky us my 6 mont...We call them poo-splosions, and lucky us my 6 month old daughter is prone to them. <BR/><BR/>At 3 mos old she went overnight from pooping 4-5x/day to not a drip for 11 days. Ped finally okays 1/2 infant enema, which should work in no more than an hour, it takes 8 hours. One good almost explosion. Then nothing for another full 8 days. Then we are out and about on a casual Saturday and I have fully converted to cloth diapers and CLOTH WIPES and I'm low on wipes, clean or dirty in the car when she explodes all over herself and the carseat. Car reeks, but we assume it's our 5 year old farting. Hubby doesn't know, so he picks her up and gets it all over himself too. (That smell, that mustard slick...you described them perfectly. I kept calling it peanut butter because it was all I could come up with, but really mustard is much better.) Anywho, I couldn't stop laughing (and taking pictures) because, you know, I wasn't alone, and I wasn't wearing it. After that I was afraid that my husband would no longer be on board with the cloth diapers, but as he said, nothing would have held it, and he sure did respect it for trying.<BR/><BR/>So my poo story is not in the same league as yours, but I could totally imagine myself there. I never ever go without a full package of disposable wipes now. Some things just aren't meant to be tossed.Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07867700088921824944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-66493794895825304652008-10-23T09:27:00.000-04:002008-10-23T09:27:00.000-04:00I was stuck with a baby in a poo-smeared outfit an...I was stuck with a baby in a poo-smeared outfit and no replacement in the middle of winter once. Now that we have two and it's hard to jam all the contingency supplies into one diaper bag I keep a small storage cube (probably about 1.5 cubic feet) in my trunk with wipes, lots of diapers for both kids, an extra outfit for each, and an extra shirt for me (I get spit-up on a LOT). If I'm out and my diaper bag runs out I can replenish from the car.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-61590379198353895052008-10-23T01:44:00.000-04:002008-10-23T01:44:00.000-04:00Oh god, I'm taking my two month old on her first f...Oh god, I'm taking my two month old on her first flight next month and all these airplane poop stories have me terrified!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-22414008548038421492008-10-22T21:54:00.000-04:002008-10-22T21:54:00.000-04:00Sounds like you handled it admirably.Sounds like you handled it admirably.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-14713287770978641992008-10-22T15:08:00.000-04:002008-10-22T15:08:00.000-04:00OK... think picking up your newly adopted (constip...OK... think picking up your newly adopted (constipated for four days) baby in Guatemala... you are walking through the airport and feel the wetness spreading up said baby's back (no more constipation)... realize you just checked all your luggage and had already put on the cherished "coming home" outfit and forgot to pull out a spare. <BR/><BR/>Went into the TINY Guatemala public restroom where there is NO changing table so use the top of the garbage can instead... have ten Guatemalan women come in to watch you strip the baby naked and have no spare outfit to put on... shove outfit under the faucet to try and clean as best you can while throwing out the onesie... baby still screaming and try to dry the clothes under the hand dryer since you still have five hours of flight time ahead of you... <BR/><BR/>Pale pasty American woman with beautiful screaming Guatemalan baby being stripped naked and obviously not being comforted by her new mommy... stares from all the women wondering what on earth this poor baby was doing with her... realize poop was all over the new mommy as well... no stress at all! <BR/><BR/>Loads of memories of that coming home trip!!<BR/><BR/>LOVE all these stories!Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05748280883860444530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-35989274746527589052008-10-22T13:18:00.000-04:002008-10-22T13:18:00.000-04:00Bunny had a blowout in a local restaraunt that see...Bunny had a blowout in a local restaraunt that seeped out of her diaper, down her pants and onto the floor in the dining area before it was noticed. <BR/><BR/>It was not pretty. There is nothing worse than saying, "Can you clean under our table. My daughter pooped on the floor." Needless to say we did not go back there.Reneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09248657031971456469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-56649420742826649722008-10-22T12:08:00.000-04:002008-10-22T12:08:00.000-04:00Our worst, we were driving home, about 15-20 minut...Our worst, we were driving home, about 15-20 minutes from our house when a foul smell began to emanate from the back seat. I turned and he had shot poo out his diaper, out the leg of his pants and all over the car seat. By the time I was able to scream (and oh god, I did) he picked some up in his hand, tasted it. AUGHHHH! and then flung it across the van where it slid down the window. At this point I became psycho, screaming not to eat it and wondering where on earth to touch anything. We made an unplanned stop at some (very forgiving) friends who thankfully threw our son into a bathtub and helped me rip apart the car seat and scrub the van. All I can say, is Please God, never again. I have a weak stomach and I can't take it. <BR/>The worst part was showing up at someone house, in that state and asking for help. I feal your pain.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-86294755991309420442008-10-22T11:49:00.000-04:002008-10-22T11:49:00.000-04:00Okay, someone reminded me of the shooting poo thin...Okay, someone reminded me of the shooting poo thing... <BR/><BR/>There was that day that I was quite late to work due to having to change clothes twice before I left. <BR/><BR/>Went to change the diaper, got peed on. It was the only time he ever peed outside his diaper, and of course, I got a lot of splatter. <BR/><BR/>Finished the change, then changed me, then smelled poo...<BR/><BR/>great. BUT, hey, he probably doesn't have a full bladder! <BR/><BR/>Opened his diaper, bent past the end of the changing table to grab a clean one, and got splattered with projectile poo. <BR/><BR/>I think I laughed. It was either that or cry. <BR/><BR/>But at least it wasn't in public.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-49760701820829469882008-10-22T11:34:00.000-04:002008-10-22T11:34:00.000-04:00We have many 'pooh baby' stories. 1) Running out t...We have many 'pooh baby' stories. 1) Running out to the hardware store, just a quick errand so no diaper bag, only to find the kid sitting in the cart in a pool of liquid pooh. My husband ended up diapering her in paper towel and a wet but clean wrap, and we finished the errand. 2) Early morning plane to Florida. The kid is leaking, and there is no changing table in the bathroom. My husband is in the aisle, with the baby on the floor of the bathroom, and I'm cleaning up after him. We call that the 'explode-a-baby' episode. 3)My first experience with leaking - a friend and her baby, a nice resturant, and looking over and seeing pooh dripping down the highchair. We wrapped the kid up in a big blanket and got the food to go. 4) The episode that defines 'poohing up his back.' Do you really want details? <BR/><BR/>Shit happens. Over and over and over.<BR/><BR/>Lizabethl_collerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04311117418987576746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-74557582071274380012008-10-22T10:17:00.000-04:002008-10-22T10:17:00.000-04:00two poo stories in one! http://litanyofbrittainy.b...two poo stories in one! <BR/>http://litanyofbrittainy.blogspot.com/2008/07/scoop-on-poop.htmllitanyofbritthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15680156235556309762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-38014453600594986932008-10-22T08:16:00.000-04:002008-10-22T08:16:00.000-04:00I kept a whole bunch of diapers in my car and forg...I kept a whole bunch of diapers in my car and forgot that...um...babies grow. By the time I needed one my daughter was too big for it. I was headed into the pediatrician for a check up. It dawned on me that they would have me take off her diaper for the exam. To have a new, clean one would be ideal. I honestly figured a pediatrician would have a few diapers, but nope. They looked at me like I was the first person to ever need one! I just put the wet diaper back on again. Luckily we were going right home so it wasn't a big deal. I totally feel for you. I have never had a poo blowout like that. Knock on wood!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-61850785380765807292008-10-22T00:48:00.000-04:002008-10-22T00:48:00.000-04:00I'm still reading, but E GADS, HBM, you deserv...I'm still reading, but E GADS, HBM, you deserve a new sweater, I think. <BR/><BR/>Lemme just say that I had a laminated (yes, I found it needed to be laminated) post it that I got made fun of for. I DO have a degree in planning; I can't help it. The post it got handed to the Huz before we left the house for him to check. I got to the point that I would refuse to leave the house unless he made sure we had everything on the list. I had too many situations like yours, although not as bad. <BR/><BR/>& wine? How 'bout some whiskey, for crying out loud?hoppytoddlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01908238288294828258noreply@blogger.com