tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post7067100657481423469..comments2023-11-02T08:09:02.234-04:00Comments on Her Bad Mother: Her Bad Birthday: A Love SongHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-45992865860839114352007-11-28T05:54:00.000-05:002007-11-28T05:54:00.000-05:00I feel the same about writting letters on the blog...I feel the same about writting letters on the blog, Happy Birthday to your babyLaura McIntyrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11808784566238960772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-67594229958363520652007-11-22T15:58:00.000-05:002007-11-22T15:58:00.000-05:00I know how you feel, as I felt that exact same way...I know how you feel, as I felt that exact same way. I came across this poem and it brought me such comfort and joy. I hope you enjoy it<BR/><BR/>Loving Two<BR/><BR/>I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you? <BR/><BR/>Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. <BR/><BR/>I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I can't, knowing, in fact, that I never can again. <BR/><BR/>You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again. <BR/><BR/>But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him as though I am betraying you. <BR/><BR/>But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. <BR/><BR/>More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. <BR/><BR/>But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. <BR/><BR/>I watch how he adores you as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you only differently. <BR/><BR/>And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. Theres enough of that for both of you, you each have your own supply. <BR/><BR/>I love you both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.”Author UnknownAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1791028821812795372007-11-22T12:58:00.000-05:002007-11-22T12:58:00.000-05:00Oh, I can't believe I missed this wonderful post! ...Oh, I can't believe I missed this wonderful post! Can you tell I just started working from home and am terribly disorganized, and missing a lot of my favourite blogs? <BR/>Happy belated birthday to Wonderbaby, and happy celebration to you HBM. You are so right, there is nothing quite as special as your first baby. She will know that; she won't forget that. <BR/>My girlie is demanding for sure, and it makes me feel all sorts of guilty when it seems that her wishes take precedent over her big brother's. But he returns every smile, hug and kiss with such fervor that I know he is very aware that there's a special place in my heart for him. Just as there's a special place in his heart for his little sister.Karen MEGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10834425321020756655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-80484938882383085662007-11-18T00:05:00.000-05:002007-11-18T00:05:00.000-05:00Before I had my second child, I grieved for the re...Before I had my second child, I grieved for the relationship with my first that would never be the same once the baby was born. I feared that I would be so involved with my daughter that my son would get pushed to the side. Not exactly ignored, but how would I be able to give my undivided attention to my first born when a needy baby came into the household?<BR/><BR/>As it turned out, I was worried about the wrong things. The baby slept plenty and I had more than enough time with my son. *He* was the needy one, so much that some days I felt like if I didn't have to feed my daughter, she wouldn't have been held that day. She spent much more time strapped into a swing or a bouncy seat than her brother ever did, and I will always wonder what it would have been like to have endless hours to just hold my daughter and stroke her hair and talk to her. Hours that I didn't have because she was my second baby and life was so much more chaotic.<BR/><BR/>She will be one on Thanksgiving Day, and the past year has been filled with more joy and more self doubt than I could ever have predicted. We're a family with two children now and while it's different than being a family with one child, it's been worth every single moment. Watching my older child be a big brother is AMAZING and seeing my baby respond to her brother makes my heart sing.<BR/><BR/>You'll see. There will always be things you will wonder about, things you wish could have been different. Just enjoy the last days you have as a parent of one and get ready for a wild, fantastic ride.Kayrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15397302130308197831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-14155139060911714922007-11-17T22:24:00.000-05:002007-11-17T22:24:00.000-05:00Not disjointed - lovely.Not disjointed - lovely.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-42120182315933311622007-11-17T22:10:00.000-05:002007-11-17T22:10:00.000-05:00I am sorry how disjointed that all sounded, I have...I am sorry how disjointed that all sounded, I have had some wine. :)iheartchocolatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06506809401305000430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-78327324386846797262007-11-17T22:09:00.000-05:002007-11-17T22:09:00.000-05:00I want to share with you a few things. This is be...I want to share with you a few things. <BR/><BR/>This is beautifully written. <BR/><BR/>This feeling, this guilt or being there, but not really present right now, will most definately pass. You probably won't even remember it.<BR/><BR/>When your second arrives, there will be a period of confusion in the house as the order returns and conforms to another human you also adore, now there.<BR/>Once this period has passed, you will barely remember it. <BR/><BR/>My daughter was 14 months when Drew was born in March. I was so desperately ill with pregnancy, I literally missed probably 6 months of intimate involvement with her play. I was barely there for the bare necessities. The time wore on and eventually faded from my memory. It was VERY difficult though, I did feel insanely guilty. Once Drew was born, she had nothing to do with me for 2 weeks. I eventually was able to take care of both with ease. Now, she is nearly 2 and he is 9 months, it couldn't be better. They love each other and I love being their mother.iheartchocolatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06506809401305000430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-11055803239253706462007-11-17T21:35:00.000-05:002007-11-17T21:35:00.000-05:00Oh this is so lovely. And I feel this bittersweet ...Oh this is so lovely. And I feel this bittersweet pang in reading words that I might have written (less eloquently) only 6 months ago. <BR/><BR/>Sometimes one of two is greater than one of one. <BR/><BR/>You'll see.Mom101https://www.blogger.com/profile/15468524489744839899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-11684187591290600582007-11-17T14:10:00.000-05:002007-11-17T14:10:00.000-05:00I absolutely agree about letters to our children. ...I absolutely agree about letters to our children. They are always so sappy and apologetic, as though we wish we could be better mothers.<BR/>Well, damnit, we are the best mothers for our own children, and I think what you posted here, along with those awesomely cute photos, say it best.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-25543485069730205362007-11-16T20:33:00.000-05:002007-11-16T20:33:00.000-05:00I feel the same way about the letters.Great, great...I feel the same way about the letters.<BR/><BR/>Great, great pics HBM.the new girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02947910641549198688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-70687434877347105582007-11-16T19:56:00.000-05:002007-11-16T19:56:00.000-05:00That was beautiful....Happy Birthday to your swee...That was beautiful....Happy Birthday to your sweet sweet girl.Mommato2https://www.blogger.com/profile/13475207169746158064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-2642449292780923912007-11-16T02:38:00.000-05:002007-11-16T02:38:00.000-05:00Dude.. Way to turn the faucet on for me today.Hope...Dude.. Way to turn the faucet on for me today.<BR/><BR/>Hope she had a good one :)Gryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18297192389242888437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-44897905816154932252007-11-15T22:49:00.000-05:002007-11-15T22:49:00.000-05:00What a beautiful post. Happy birthday to your beau...What a beautiful post. Happy birthday to your beautiful girl.Don Mills Divahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03733674458423525738noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-64525874258131579462007-11-15T15:12:00.000-05:002007-11-15T15:12:00.000-05:00i just wanted to thank you for putting into words ...i just wanted to thank you for putting into words what i have been feeling and panicking about so much since finding out that we too are expecting #2... <BR/><BR/>i'm crying b/c all of it is true, and as much as i expect the love to multiply, i still can't help freaking out over knowing that she'll only be an only for a little while longer. and of course as much as we want her to have a sibling (or two), there really is something about us as a twosome right now that i know will never be replicated with the next one, and just how very different it will all be come summertime, how much i'll miss it being "just us"- how it will effect her, how i always want to shield her from hurting. <BR/><BR/>then i spend time beating myself up over what all that negative energy could imply for the future of this new baby, how awful i'd feel if something were to happen, how we really know she'll love having a sibling through the years- ugh, sometimes these hormones are just too much already. <BR/><BR/>thanks for this beautiful beautiful post, and for giving me a really good cry when i needed it. happiest birthday to you both. thank you.pnutsmamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01051488790948822324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-69007397868960430222007-11-15T14:35:00.000-05:002007-11-15T14:35:00.000-05:00What a beautiful tribute to your special relations...What a beautiful tribute to your special relationship with WB. I hope the day was wonderful.Niksmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14715465327343655483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-76167403228653344012007-11-15T11:42:00.000-05:002007-11-15T11:42:00.000-05:00God - now that I've said that - it doesn't change ...God - now that I've said that - it doesn't change anything of course. There were moments of feeling less loved - how many times did I scream 'you love her more!', in anger? Too many - but I still wouldn't change anything. Having a sister was a great gift.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-3440983536067897982007-11-15T11:40:00.000-05:002007-11-15T11:40:00.000-05:00Oh, Christina - such an interesting question. Beca...Oh, Christina - such an interesting question. Because no, I never felt truly less loved, but I did - at times - feel compromised in that love. I would never have wished to be an only child, but there were times that my mother's concern for my sister came at the expense of concern for me, and I felt it keenly.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-45091382893348862822007-11-15T07:19:00.000-05:002007-11-15T07:19:00.000-05:00Happy birthday, WB!I had so many of those same fea...Happy birthday, WB!<BR/><BR/>I had so many of those same fears when pregnant with Mira. I'm only 6 months in now, but I can tell you that yes, your heart does grow in all directions.<BR/><BR/>I was an only child, so I don't have any reference to say what it's like to have a sibling. You have a sister though, right? Did you ever feel less loved by your parents because you weren't the only one? I doubt it, and I know the same will hold true for WB.Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07345875955750219033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-85732850553315070052007-11-15T02:25:00.000-05:002007-11-15T02:25:00.000-05:00First, I want to greet the birthday girl... Happy ...First, I want to greet the birthday girl... Happy Birthday & God Bless...<BR/><BR/>I don't know yet the feeling of having a second baby. But what I do know is it will be a different story to tell.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-65399515800467264982007-11-15T01:00:00.000-05:002007-11-15T01:00:00.000-05:00Very nice...Happy birthday little oneVery nice...<BR/><BR/>Happy birthday little oneCreative-Type Dadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13594687030412942701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-6373703633360799222007-11-15T00:03:00.000-05:002007-11-15T00:03:00.000-05:00One of the biggest reasons I'm so wary about getti...One of the biggest reasons I'm so wary about getting pregnant again, not only will I be worthless to society, I will be worthless to my first born during our last few months as "us".<BR/>Glad I'm not alone.moosh in indy.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12536663032282865725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-3512313176421161512007-11-14T23:13:00.000-05:002007-11-14T23:13:00.000-05:00That was lovely. I wrote to my youngest (who is n...That was lovely. I wrote to my youngest (who is now 15) in a journal -- mostly about what he was learning to do, what his interests were, and how he was changing. I wrote for eight years, and he knows I have the book, but I haven't given it to him to read yet. I think moms like you who have places like this to put down your thoughts and love are very fortunate, and that your children will appreciate what you've saved for them. They grow up so very, very fast. Happy Birthday to your little one.kellypeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13266678780105919817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-56852304646553426992007-11-14T22:57:00.000-05:002007-11-14T22:57:00.000-05:00This is so beautiful, and may just possibly be the...This is so beautiful, and may just possibly be the first time I've read a post concerning the addition of a second child without feeling that gnawing self-pity that I can't have one. Thank you.ninjapoodleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10322256509244988323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-9302232234545761252007-11-14T21:16:00.000-05:002007-11-14T21:16:00.000-05:00What a heartbreakingly beautiful post. You put so ...What a heartbreakingly beautiful post. You put so many of my own fears about having another child into better words than I could ever find.Lisa Dunickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08530026652363687161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-91782862995352366432007-11-14T20:56:00.000-05:002007-11-14T20:56:00.000-05:00Happy birthday, Wonderbaby! Next year, you will be...Happy birthday, Wonderbaby! Next year, you will be Wonder Big Sis.<BR/><BR/>Congrats, HBM. This is a gorgeous post. And I know exactly how you feel, having been in my second tri-mester with Bun when Monkey turned two.<BR/><BR/>And although I am a big fat lurker on your site, I tagged you for a meme. I know that things are a little rough in your world, so I understand if it's not right at the top of your to-do list!<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://albamaria30.wordpress.com/2007/11/13/crazy-eights/" REL="nofollow">Here</A>, just in case you have the energy.<BR/><BR/>ciao,<BR/>rpmAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com