tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post7064138682578838655..comments2023-11-02T08:09:02.234-04:00Comments on Her Bad Mother: Songs of Innocence and ExperienceHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-63046511424304356742008-04-22T23:07:00.000-04:002008-04-22T23:07:00.000-04:00Catching up after just finding this blog today. I...Catching up after just finding this blog today. I tried to articulate these very thoughts a few months ago but was nowhere near eloquent. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your beautiful ability to write. With each of my twin boys' new achievements I find joy, but I also feel them pulling away and know that this is one of the pains of motherhood. Thank you again for creating the imagery of how it feels.Dawn Johnson Warrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17384705577929824190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-21809479912514439852007-08-12T12:55:00.000-04:002007-08-12T12:55:00.000-04:00HBM....How dare you...My daughter just turned 3 ye...HBM....<BR/><BR/>How dare you...<BR/><BR/>My daughter just turned 3 yesterday and boy did you just make me cry.<BR/><BR/>In a good way though. Your writing never ceases to amaze me.Jeniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01307079683484637744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-12911531536279223512007-08-11T02:22:00.000-04:002007-08-11T02:22:00.000-04:00When I began.. I was too lucky to have 3 or 4 good...When I began.. I was too lucky to have 3 or 4 good souls told me that it was in me in more ways than one.<BR/><BR/>But not one told me I could be replaced by what came after. I feel you capture the ethereal moroseness of it all. For me, I'll say. The very notion that I am completed as a being that their existence and persistence more than fills the hole I have dug out for myself. The nothing of my being remains necessary but where it might grow them a bit more -- like it did at womb-stage.<BR/><BR/>Gawd that makes my everything else completely superfluous? Superficial? <BR/><BR/>I need a drink.mo-wohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10934156423936866994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-2701287785261995752007-08-11T01:33:00.000-04:002007-08-11T01:33:00.000-04:00Lovely.Lovely.Norahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16507644743409364179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-55728903579208531342007-08-10T12:11:00.000-04:002007-08-10T12:11:00.000-04:00Ozma - that's it exactly. They almost never encour...Ozma - that's it exactly. They almost never encourage you to give yourself over to the biological inevitabilities of the whole process. They perpetuate the idea that we *can* think our ways through this. Which we can't. We just can't.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-71043471323501249302007-08-10T01:24:00.000-04:002007-08-10T01:24:00.000-04:00That hurts to read. Thanks for giving words to a ...That hurts to read. Thanks for giving words to a complex truth.Indigo Childrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14308293750564309399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-42327940823251861592007-08-09T20:10:00.000-04:002007-08-09T20:10:00.000-04:00A masterpiece, Catherine. Once again, you've spoke...A masterpiece, Catherine. Once again, you've spoken the truth with piercing eloquence.Ruth Dynamitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06161626814106717754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-36430202283357139582007-08-09T11:17:00.000-04:002007-08-09T11:17:00.000-04:00oh catherine this is what we must do ...it is the ...oh catherine this is what we must do ...it is the most heartwrenching and yet gives us pride as mothers in a job well done when we let go...LAVENDULAAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-90519941720002179082007-08-09T00:08:00.000-04:002007-08-09T00:08:00.000-04:00You just gave me goosebumps.Beautiful post.You just gave me goosebumps.<BR/><BR/>Beautiful post.Cathy, Amy and Kristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01472486650115997239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-42141242580029350112007-08-09T00:02:00.000-04:002007-08-09T00:02:00.000-04:00One thing I found amusing about the pregnancy proc...One thing I found amusing about the pregnancy process was that I refused to think of myself as a biological creature. And pregnancy books encourage that--they give you this illusion of control. It was only later when I saw the absurdity of that. <BR/><BR/>Getting older has biologized me more...I think when I was younger I could be more in denial about the plain facts.<BR/><BR/>Oh, the weaning. This will ever be bittersweet.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-54533235692301978372007-08-08T22:11:00.000-04:002007-08-08T22:11:00.000-04:00Wonderful post. Motherhood is a great experience. ...Wonderful post. Motherhood is a great experience. It has always been a big challenge, but it's also my source of strength during the dark times.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-55262716260791291912007-08-08T21:42:00.000-04:002007-08-08T21:42:00.000-04:00I felt the same way about the biology foisted upon...I felt the same way about the biology foisted upon me dragging me out of my head and I am a biology teacher. It was all too gross for me. I took PLANT, not animal, bio for a reason. <BR/>I am trying not to be so sad that this one won't nurse as the demands of being the sole food source for the first one almost drove me insane.<BR/>This is beautifully written as always Catherine. It captures so well the conflicting feelings and demands. <BR/>But damn that motherbumper is always crying these days heh?moplanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16998309937928231527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-9299471018357472352007-08-08T21:29:00.000-04:002007-08-08T21:29:00.000-04:00"So it is that we mothers are ever walking out of ..."So it is that we mothers are ever walking out of the Garden, cursing and praising the heavens, grasping at roses, pricking our heels on thorns."<BR/><BR/>THIS is an immotal quote. I read the whole post all the while pulling away from it and telling myself that it's not like that fot me. That I'm proud to see her stand on her own legs and that it only makes me feel more confident that I'm giving her the skills she needs to show the rest of the world how amazing she is. But that line forced me to really savour the message and I realize that she hasn't really started to leave yet. That that is somewhere in a foggy future and like the death of my mother that will one day come, I refuse to allow myself the pain of contemplating the inevitability of it all. I can no more do it than hold my hand over an open flame.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-17102580431876913672007-08-08T19:15:00.000-04:002007-08-08T19:15:00.000-04:00Oh my HOLY, that was beautiful. Makes me want to ...Oh my HOLY, that was beautiful. Makes me want to pack up my blog and slip away into the night because I can't compare even slightly to one paragraph of it. I am bookmarking this for every step further my boyo takes from me, so I can feel like I've got someone commiserating with me as I cry over it. Thanks for this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-42054647627261157412007-08-08T16:52:00.000-04:002007-08-08T16:52:00.000-04:00Mean Mommy - you're welcome to it. And thanks.Mean Mommy - you're welcome to it. And thanks.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-80071800437850892032007-08-08T16:48:00.000-04:002007-08-08T16:48:00.000-04:00A-men say I. Good one.A-men say I. Good one.Homesteadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05143767926640210073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-88397656897959763552007-08-08T16:45:00.000-04:002007-08-08T16:45:00.000-04:00Beautiful post. I know just what you're feeling. I...Beautiful post. I know just what you're feeling. I shared this at Mommy Blog Roundup http://mommyblogroundup.blogspot.com/<BR/><BR/>Hope you don't mind.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-20751962685129832972007-08-08T16:41:00.000-04:002007-08-08T16:41:00.000-04:00i never read those books. how can they tell me to ...i never read those books. how can they tell me to mother? i admit i'm the worst but at times, i'm pretty darn good.<BR/><BR/>'intuition' is all i can say.<BR/><BR/>i'm having a very hard time watching my 4 year old grow up and demand to be alone. everyday, i realize, soon, she'll be leaving me and it's such a hard concept to handle. then again, i don't want to be my mother, who totally held on too tight.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03042060446755347826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-47234661109096063672007-08-08T15:33:00.000-04:002007-08-08T15:33:00.000-04:00ah, this was lovely.i too lived in my head for so ...ah, this was lovely.<BR/><BR/>i too lived in my head for so long before pregnancy - and then had both body and mind subjected to the brutality of grief before i ever got much more than a taste of that being more than one, that joining with another - but now, just now, as O learns language and "no", i am finding this falling in love and letting go an incredible art.<BR/><BR/>you have a way of looking at parenting that always makes me gasp, HBM. beautiful post.Bonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14403701620708365171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-80039292882631002772007-08-08T15:23:00.000-04:002007-08-08T15:23:00.000-04:00So, so beautiful. As always. Wonderful.So, so beautiful. As always. Wonderful.Terehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15850314798468099658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-40866214167137877452007-08-08T12:15:00.000-04:002007-08-08T12:15:00.000-04:00I just shared this post with every mommy friend I ...I just shared this post with every mommy friend I have. THIS explains (in the most beautifully raw and gutwrenching way possible) the feelings I've been having that I have failed miserably at trying to explain. Thank You.<BR/>PascaleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-76496129847526477552007-08-08T11:53:00.000-04:002007-08-08T11:53:00.000-04:00Chillingly beautiful-- you've put into words every...Chillingly beautiful-- you've put into words everything I feel and everything I fear that I won't be able to do.Lisa Dunickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08530026652363687161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-91502734658082141382007-08-08T10:19:00.000-04:002007-08-08T10:19:00.000-04:00I have always found it the cruellest part of mothe...I have always found it the cruellest part of motherhood, this intensity of early infancy and toddlerhood that binds you closer to your child than you have ever been to anyone else. You have to. You want to. Even while you know (especially the overthinkers among us) you KNOW that all you are doing is setting yourself up for the heartbreak--the necessary, the healthy, the appropriate hearthbreak--of the slow climb of identity, independence, growing up.<BR/><BR/>Ack.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10812707312289852258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-83368447238745110662007-08-08T09:30:00.000-04:002007-08-08T09:30:00.000-04:00jchevais - I won't be nearly so coy if I find myse...jchevais - I won't be nearly so coy if I find myself pregnant. Expect to just see a picture of a pee-drenched EPT stick.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-23804406807543455422007-08-08T08:00:00.000-04:002007-08-08T08:00:00.000-04:00WowWowGreghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09734917253563842003noreply@blogger.com