tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post5836479246164364788..comments2023-11-02T08:09:02.234-04:00Comments on Her Bad Mother: Hearts and DarknessHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-56335053733641210322007-05-09T07:58:00.000-04:002007-05-09T07:58:00.000-04:00I was actually 'glad' to see this post when it app...I was actually 'glad' to see this post when it appeared (although I had my hands full of baby and couldn't comment at the time). Why? Because I knew with absolute certainty that the fact that she was asking for help was a huge postive step in her life (and having this posted was a cry for help, and the fact that your many many kindhearted caring readers would respond to her cry for help. And encourage her to get more. And let her know she's not alone out there, that others have been through similar times.<BR/><BR/>It's why I like the basement. It offers help and emotional support to those who may just need just a kind word or two, or some understanding, and those who may need a more serious kick in the backside to take charge of their lives and get some help, or those who really really need to find someone to help them in real life. Like this reader. I hope she found it.ewe are herehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13339650361453626546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-91072537440877973662007-05-07T14:45:00.000-04:002007-05-07T14:45:00.000-04:00I think the "Basement" project/blog is an awesome ...I think the "Basement" project/blog is an awesome idea. It reminds me a little of PostSecret. There are so many lonely, angry, and hurting people. I've been there. Haven't we all?Tinkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16188363142469404823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-27510331201690120492007-05-02T16:19:00.000-04:002007-05-02T16:19:00.000-04:00Hey, somehow the Basement escaped me. Going now......Hey, somehow the Basement escaped me. Going now....Damselflyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00139191935886860839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-16933194097368929682007-05-02T14:48:00.000-04:002007-05-02T14:48:00.000-04:00I've always loved the idea of the basement and won...I've always loved the idea of the basement and wondered how you came up with it. I've even thought of using it myself here and there. <BR/><BR/>It does pose a catch 22, though, b/c the blogosphere can never offer enough solace or the right kind of help when life breaks in two. Your words of advice at the end of this particular basement post were wise and necessary. I do hope this woman can find the support network she needs to get her through. In the meantime, I will return to offer whatever words of support I can.Madhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13416585771017767796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-66669766784670745282007-05-02T02:20:00.000-04:002007-05-02T02:20:00.000-04:00Terribly, I've heard her story before - the abuse,...Terribly, I've heard her story before - the abuse, the lies, the lashing out, all parties turning to make the victim the "fault". I am no longer overwhelmed. I am just tired, bone tired, and my heart aches - for her and for you. My words for her are obvious, inadequate. Anger would be useful, I think, but it doesn't transfer. I have met people in real life who have been hurt this way and what do you do? besides be there and treat them as "normal" (because they have never been treated as anything but vilified or whispered about their whole life). <BR/><BR/>But worse... I have read too much in my life, and this abuse, this disregard for another human's wellbeing, the treatment of a person as an object, used to be so much more commonplace in the world. Commonplace and widespread. It HAS gotten better. And every time abuse like this is brought to light, every time someone is made aware of what CAN happen (and there are still those who are not aware), it puts the seeds in place for future prevention. <BR/><BR/>The Basement is not an insufficient place.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-11875225289776531852007-05-02T00:47:00.000-04:002007-05-02T00:47:00.000-04:00You are doing a good thing, Catherine. Not only is...You are doing a good thing, Catherine. Not only is the Basement a place to be open and anonymous, it allows reciprocation in the form of comfort and caring. There are many confessional places on the web, but no others answer back with agreat big beating heart of compassion like the Basement. It is something when people have nothing. Something can be enough to get you through at times. I hope this is a first step for her and that she finds a way to make it through.Kylahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03311014761113076785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-91249868981699425182007-05-01T23:15:00.000-04:002007-05-01T23:15:00.000-04:00I admire that you've created the basement. You're ...I admire that you've created the basement. You're making a difference in this world. Kudos!Haute Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14352803055907107943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-3620660737841828852007-05-01T23:05:00.000-04:002007-05-01T23:05:00.000-04:00That was so hard to read. I cannot imagine what it...That was so hard to read. I cannot imagine what it is like to live it. I hope and pray she finds the help she needs. <BR/><BR/>Those fuckers who pray on little children...sorry....but may they roast in eternal hellfires.crazymummahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04663148723513574331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-46269716192410323122007-05-01T22:30:00.000-04:002007-05-01T22:30:00.000-04:00hi HBM i will head over to the basement immediatel...hi HBM i will head over to the basement immediately.you are offering up a wonderful opportunity by having the basement.i have even thought about asking you to post something.your heart is kind and generous empathetic and true.i'm headed to the basement now LAVENDULAAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-29840797026596297702007-05-01T16:54:00.000-04:002007-05-01T16:54:00.000-04:00FOM - usually they do, either by e-mailing me and/...FOM - usually they do, either by e-mailing me and/or leaving a follow-up note at the post. Fingers crossed that this poster stays in touch (I've sent her a few e-mails).Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-35019874424847241702007-05-01T16:49:00.000-04:002007-05-01T16:49:00.000-04:00I can't even find the words.But thank you for the ...I can't even find the words.<BR/><BR/>But thank you for the Basement, Catherine.lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14198758216524925474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-6803240086235996302007-05-01T16:44:00.000-04:002007-05-01T16:44:00.000-04:00HBM, do the people who write to the basement ever ...HBM, do the people who write to the basement ever let you know how they are doing afterward? I worry about this mom because she is in such a dark place. What a nightmare she is living.Fairly Odd Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11974404093257620566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-22484666939219179512007-05-01T15:58:00.000-04:002007-05-01T15:58:00.000-04:00the basement has been wonderful for me twice alrea...the basement has been wonderful for me twice already, and i can honestly say that i'm so grateful you provide that space for any and all of us in the blogosphere. you are a great woman, and all the women (and men?) who have written in the basement are wonderful too. thanks, HBM.Larahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04389047861929002263noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-37736188943878404102007-05-01T15:06:00.000-04:002007-05-01T15:06:00.000-04:00Confessionals like the basement may save many peop...Confessionals like the basement may save many people. Many mothers.Tuesday Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01816799873933925204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-81247626614464109042007-05-01T13:16:00.000-04:002007-05-01T13:16:00.000-04:00Thank the heavens for the Basement.Thank the heavens for the Basement.motherbumperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16053978199395919666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-88015343147057218352007-05-01T11:49:00.000-04:002007-05-01T11:49:00.000-04:00Dana, so far as I know, no-one who has written in ...Dana, so far as I know, no-one who has written in the Basement has been outed or discovered. Often, I don't even know who it is that is writing. And when I do know - not even my husband, not even my *cats* (and certainly not WB, cuz she's got a mouth on her), hear a peep from me about who it might be. To the grave these secrets go.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-50130883618801913002007-05-01T11:28:00.000-04:002007-05-01T11:28:00.000-04:00I was wondering about the Basement recently. I ha...I was wondering about the Basement recently. I have thought many times of using it, but always changed my mind for fear of being outed or "found out". Nothing is terrible wrong, but sometimes an anonymous outlet appeals to me when I want to discuss something I normally won't talk about.<BR/><BR/>I'm heading that way right now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-60078096418784661622007-05-01T11:27:00.000-04:002007-05-01T11:27:00.000-04:00Thank you for letting us know that someone needed ...Thank you for letting us know that someone needed our support. Don't doubt that you have not done enough, you have provided this poor woman a place where she can reach out and ask for help. Let us hope that this is only the first step in her recovery.<BR/><BR/>Thank you so much.Karla Zamora, Digital Analysthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06505957478431304863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-47807168357615477922007-05-01T10:10:00.000-04:002007-05-01T10:10:00.000-04:00Professional help. Confessions are great - talking...Professional help. Confessions are great - talking it through - but she needs Actionable guidance.BOSSYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12137297805742498961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-54203425652351640632007-05-01T09:43:00.000-04:002007-05-01T09:43:00.000-04:00I'll go see what I can do. Sometimes, hopefully, t...I'll go see what I can do. Sometimes, hopefully, the space and the support will provide a bolster to the rest of what is needed...so you have *done.*Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-58915959063209248782007-05-01T09:34:00.000-04:002007-05-01T09:34:00.000-04:00Thanks for the reminder HBM, I just sent some well...Thanks for the reminder HBM, I just sent some well wishes too in the Basement.Jeniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13100043209000589029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-33801720680861964842007-05-01T09:32:00.000-04:002007-05-01T09:32:00.000-04:00Bad. of course. thank you for creating a space tha...Bad. of course. thank you for creating a space that allows for this level of sharing.Girlplustwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07056576921114387218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-62610280099528032202007-05-01T09:28:00.000-04:002007-05-01T09:28:00.000-04:00From personal and professional experience - merely...From personal and professional experience - merely providing a place to say it, out loud, and get positive support instead of shock or outrage or other destructive responses, is doing a lot. A lot more than a lot of people already have.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02778318185310548615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-24431630719833322002007-05-01T09:24:00.000-04:002007-05-01T09:24:00.000-04:00Anonymous #1 - I don't know who the writer is; I o...Anonymous #1 - I don't know who the writer is; I only have her e-mail address. <BR/><BR/>Anonymous #2 - Thank you so much, Ann. Your support helps already, I'm sure.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-87960692799930438662007-05-01T08:31:00.000-04:002007-05-01T08:31:00.000-04:00It is amazing, the amount of pain in the world but...It is amazing, the amount of pain in the world but just as amazing is the amount and the power of love and healing.<BR/><BR/>Chalk yourself up into the latter category and lets all hold space in our minds and hearts for the former...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com