tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post5345990814702841428..comments2023-11-02T08:09:02.234-04:00Comments on Her Bad Mother: Mommy DearestHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger93125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-56694934885591401752008-05-06T18:49:00.000-04:002008-05-06T18:49:00.000-04:00I just went through the same exact thing with my 3...I just went through the same exact thing with my 3 y/o daughter. I had my baby son last Friday. For the last couple of weeks and even to this very minute, my daughter is "daddy's girl". She left me in tears at the hospital when she was leaving I said "I miss you", and there was silence. "I said "do you miss Mommy?", she said "no". And the entire time she wouldn't even come near me, let alone look at me. She's made me cry more times in the last month than I've cried in 5 years. <BR/>You are doing nothing wrong. This is the way it is for now. For now. Then one day she's going to relate more to you and copy everything YOU do. <BR/>xoxo Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-15539686539664145892008-05-03T14:16:00.000-04:002008-05-03T14:16:00.000-04:00This is nature. This is the continuum concept.Thi...This is nature. This is the continuum concept.<BR/>This has happened with my daughter each time I have given birth to her baby brothers.<BR/>IT broke my heart. But when the baby was born, I saw the necessity of it and the magic in the ability of a toddler to self-protect.<BR/>If she breaks away from you through her autonomous instincts, then it won't be all about YOU pushing her away when OMFG she has to share you.<BR/><BR/>imho.gwendomamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08439664476465264089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-85055206924456932972008-05-02T13:14:00.000-04:002008-05-02T13:14:00.000-04:00So, two things to think about...as soon as you hav...So, two things to think about...<BR/>as soon as you have your new little one- she will want your attention back.... it's temporary and inconvenient.<BR/>Maybe more useful, little ones her age want to feel like they have some control, even about when they get attention/affection, so try giving her space (even though it's hard knowing baby is around the corner) but she may just want to hug you and kiss you when she feels like it not when you do. <BR/>My little one (3) will not tolerate being hugged and kissed unless it's his idea, being all grown up and not babyish anymore, but still wants to snuggle between star wars battles and important construction work.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-78805639896323345652008-05-02T08:52:00.000-04:002008-05-02T08:52:00.000-04:00There is a reason that my Trooper was referred to ...There is a reason that my Trooper was referred to as "Darth Toddler" for about two years of his life! It is discouraging when they go through the "I only love Daddy because he doesn't tell me 'no' nearly as often as Mommy" stage but they do grow out of it. I promise.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-6455145438168495322008-05-01T22:13:00.000-04:002008-05-01T22:13:00.000-04:00My sister stayed home with her kids and they all p...My sister stayed home with her kids and they all preferred her husband. He was the hero, she was the bi-otch. It just goes that way sometimes. Just keep offering the love, she'll take it when she needs it. I think it's just important that she knows it's there. That it's unconditional. She wouldn't treat you that way if she didn't know.<BR/>It will get worse before it gets better. She'll be pissed when you bring baby boy home. My girl was almost three when we brought home her brother. Now he's two and they're happy and we're a family. It all works out.<BR/><BR/>But when I brought him home and she punished me, I cried. I told my Hubs that we had ruined it. That she didn't love me any more. But she did. <BR/><BR/>This too shall pass.Melanie D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01542313652003967176noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-76653506472730272612008-05-01T18:51:00.000-04:002008-05-01T18:51:00.000-04:00Mo-Wo - watching Supernanny terrorizes me. Yes, in...Mo-Wo - watching Supernanny terrorizes me. Yes, in theory, it should make me feel better, but really, it only makes me feel better in the same way that Texas Chainsaw Massacre makes me feel better that I don't live in Texas with a chainsaw-wielding neighbor.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-16238174302572181512008-05-01T08:06:00.000-04:002008-05-01T08:06:00.000-04:00I call it the chopped liver stage and for us it la...I call it the chopped liver stage and for us it last, oh, about 18 months. From 18 months to 3 years old. Now it is tapering off and I get more snuggles and I love yous than Go Aways.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06655779061173009120noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-54623040748213671552008-05-01T03:34:00.000-04:002008-05-01T03:34:00.000-04:00I was a total daddy's girl and I can't remember ha...I was a total daddy's girl and I can't remember having any real connection with my mother until I was a teenager. This may not be much of a comfort (don't panic and think that she'll continue this way until puberty!) but I thought it was important to say what I'm sure everyone else is saying. It's totally normal. Heartbreaking, but normal.<BR/><BR/>((Hugs))Brihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12900311164856661917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-48401845121764820272008-05-01T02:19:00.000-04:002008-05-01T02:19:00.000-04:00God this post made me cry. Mine bit me, hard, whe...God this post made me cry. Mine bit me, hard, when I was carrying him and he wanted his daddy instead. Hang in there.OvaGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12150362175853549015noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-73165160395094040192008-05-01T00:37:00.000-04:002008-05-01T00:37:00.000-04:00Hey I just had an idea. You should start watching...Hey I just had an idea. You should start watching the SuperNanny show 3x a day. That will give anyone a new lease on not sucking, any day.mo-wohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10934156423936866994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-84495718575145839662008-05-01T00:33:00.000-04:002008-05-01T00:33:00.000-04:00It's a spring thing. They are all psychopaths for ...It's a spring thing. They are all psychopaths for a bit it seems.<BR/><BR/>Christ you have a lot of flagellation going on. I wish it was other sweetheart.<BR/><BR/>Especially Tanner. Oh dear ones. What kind of reality can be had around that.mo-wohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10934156423936866994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-62141500140407340662008-04-30T23:49:00.000-04:002008-04-30T23:49:00.000-04:00I blogged about this last week or so. Wait until s...I blogged about this last week or so. Wait until she comandeers the loyalty of bubs away from you too, once he's old enough. Both of mine now stand against me sometimes, clutching hands and acting strong in sibling defiance.<BR/><BR/>'Tis quite draining. :(Miscellaneous-Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02553107673036472909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-72692558039590306432008-04-30T21:30:00.000-04:002008-04-30T21:30:00.000-04:00Hi. A delurker speaking up. Mine went through this...Hi. A delurker speaking up. Mine went through this, too, and I was beside myself. Honestly, though, she's still a Daddy's girl. It's tough to be seen as the "fun one" when you're running the business part of raising your children--mostly due to exhaustion!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-32353075368855655102008-04-30T19:01:00.000-04:002008-04-30T19:01:00.000-04:00I hate to be the only one to say this, but it sort...I hate to be the only one to say this, but it sorta is your fault. What were thinking would happen when all you do is encourage WB to be a strong, independent, creative thinker / person? Sorry was that too tongue in cheek? I agree with the other comments, its only because she is secure with you that she doesn't cling to you. She knows you love her, therefore she can be that way. Have you tried giving in to her? leave the room, don't give her a kiss or a hug? I know it sounds horrible to pull away, but it may enable her learn that words can be hurtful - she's a pretty preceptive girl especially for her age, so it just might be a good lesson. If it makes you feel better, the monkey is only 16 months, but he is already refusing to give me kisses, happily says buh bye when I drop him off at daycare and now does NOT come running when I pick him up. He only wants me when he is sick or hurts himself or at 2:30 in the morning.ScientistMotherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02540317551396323613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-7788441091818779402008-04-30T17:43:00.000-04:002008-04-30T17:43:00.000-04:00Okay, maybe it's because I too am in the late stag...Okay, maybe it's because I too am in the late stages of my pregnancy and a bit emotional these days but your post has brought a tear to my eye. My daughter has given me the occasional "cold shoulder" (usually when I've been gone a few days on business) which is devastating even for a short period of time so I really feel for you. I hope it's just a phase that she'll grow out of soon - and one not to be revisited until the teen years!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-64333240578931878052008-04-30T17:33:00.000-04:002008-04-30T17:33:00.000-04:00Even KayTar does it sometimes. Totally normal, Cat...Even KayTar does it sometimes. Totally normal, Cath. Totally.Kylahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03311014761113076785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-36118108951776239902008-04-30T17:10:00.000-04:002008-04-30T17:10:00.000-04:00My 18mo is still in the clinging "mommy do it!" ph...My 18mo is still in the clinging "mommy do it!" phase, but I have six neices and they ALL did this. I'm also pretty sure I hated my mother in varying degrees till my late 20's. Now at 37 she is truly my best friend. Hopefully you won't have to wait that long!<BR/><BR/>I'll send you a mental hug when my little diva is telling her dad "no - mommy bath" "mommy juice" "mommy diaper" "mommmy - mommy - mommy!" Oh, I sorta long for the day when I get to sit on the couch watching TV while he runs around all night looking after her...but... maybe not...DivaDunnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12029993864553652753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-58010141551392908742008-04-30T16:52:00.000-04:002008-04-30T16:52:00.000-04:00I never, ever comment here, but I have to tell you...I never, ever comment here, but I have to tell you that my son is doing the exact same thing. He is almost two and a half, so he is close to WB's age. It is only really bad when Daddy is home for me to be compared to. I am not pregnant, so it's not just the pregnant thing, and it's probably not you. My son's thing is to tell me to go into whatever room he is leaving. "Mommy go in kitchen, I go in living room." "Now I go in kitchen, Mommy go in living room." If I try to follow him, he will push me back into the appropriate room (or try to), or stomp his feet and cry. Everyone I have talked to says it is normal, but it's hard when they tell you how much they love the other parent. I don't know how much your husband is home, but I think my son gets bored with me because I am around all day, while Daddy is gone at work, so Daddy is just more exciting than boring old Mommy.Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00350471725949159838noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-30336763642960842192008-04-30T16:42:00.000-04:002008-04-30T16:42:00.000-04:00Oh fuck it! No one likes me at my house because s...Oh fuck it! No one likes me at my house because someone has to enforce the rules and it sure as hell won't be Fun Daddy..<BR/><BR/>I am swell when I give gifts or hold their hair out of the toilet while they vomit... the rest of the time I am despised. And I think that is normal. For toddlers and teensMamanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09424255301775934985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-74151056403615660032008-04-30T16:01:00.001-04:002008-04-30T16:01:00.001-04:00Nic - don't think that I haven't thought about tha...Nic - don't think that I haven't thought about that.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-59538909844958635412008-04-30T16:01:00.000-04:002008-04-30T16:01:00.000-04:00Karen, your strategery suggestion is actually real...Karen, your strategery suggestion is actually really, really helpful - I have been acting a bit like a needy girlfriend, which probably just stokes the fires of whatever little pot of bizzatchness she's brewing.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-3860315701036665682008-04-30T15:44:00.000-04:002008-04-30T15:44:00.000-04:00Well, I'm not a mother and I'm too lazy to read th...Well, I'm not a mother and I'm too lazy to read through all of the other comments, but it sounds to me like she is just pressing her boundaries. The only reason she's able to do it is because she actually feels secure and loved.<BR/><BR/>But if she keeps it up, you can always put her on ebay.Nic (NotPerfect)https://www.blogger.com/profile/04926113758994944081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-37343101740200887162008-04-30T15:23:00.000-04:002008-04-30T15:23:00.000-04:00It's not you at all. You're doing nothing wrong, I...It's not you at all. You're doing nothing wrong, I promise. <BR/><BR/>She's at that stage where she wants to push boundaries, try out some independence, and see if she can throw her weight around and make things happen. <BR/><BR/>You are the one she is closest with. You are the one she's bonded with the most, and as a result, you're the first one she wants to try pushing back against, because she knows she still has your love if she wants it. <BR/><BR/>It doesn't make a lot of sense, but telling you to go away is telling you that she trusts you the most with her emotions. Toddlers love trying out their voice (and it sounds like she's going to be a woman with a strong voice!), and they're going to try it out in a "safe place" before trying it out with someone who might not react as well. <BR/><BR/>It hurts, and it sucks. But try to look past the hurt and take it as a compliment. She trusts you, she loves you, and she feels safe with you. (And I promise they grow out of it - Cordy went through that phase, too.)Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07345875955750219033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-10820854758641249282008-04-30T15:11:00.000-04:002008-04-30T15:11:00.000-04:00Oh those bugger toddlers! Totally have been there....Oh those bugger toddlers! Totally have been there. It's not you. It's HER. HER. HER. And she will come around. I'm sorry she's bumming you out. I always take it so personally too.the mama bird diarieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04248352454666306821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-54296573019527527882008-04-30T14:47:00.000-04:002008-04-30T14:47:00.000-04:00I recall my Mother telling stories about how I did...I recall my Mother telling stories about how I did the same types of things when my brother's arrival was imminent. I think it's perfectly normal. The Dads get off scott free, because hey they aren't pregnant, it must be Mom's fault this interloper is arriving. She'll get over it eventually.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com