tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post5173071062815958949..comments2023-11-02T08:09:02.234-04:00Comments on Her Bad Mother: Lost BoyHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger291125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-12742687117881731732009-05-06T10:32:00.000-04:002009-05-06T10:32:00.000-04:00I cannot emphasize enough that you should fill out...I cannot emphasize enough that you should fill out search forms with the BC Department of Women & Children's Services--give them all the information you have--they will search. It might take time, it took 6 years to fine my bio-fam...and I am so glad I did, my birth mom had wanted to search but was afraid to...DO IT!!!OneHotMamanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-70308328375294270482009-05-06T00:54:00.000-04:002009-05-06T00:54:00.000-04:00I just found your blog through amalah, and wanted ...I just found your blog through amalah, and wanted to add a quick comment ... <br /><br />Sometimes it all works out perfect.<br /><br />I was adopted at 3 months ... my adoptive parents are the most wonderful, nurturing people, and almost 10 years ago (age 23) I had the fantastic good fortune of reuniting with my birthmother and her family.<br /><br />I can never thank her enough for her sacrifice ... I realize that of all the choices to be make, she made the hardest.<br /><br />She is a wonderful person, with a wonderful family -- who have all been incredibly accepting of both me and my whole family.<br /><br />This has truely been a story of everything working out perfectly!! And although she'll never be 'Mom' -- she is "Grandma" to my Daughter and Son -- and more special to me than I can express.<br /><br />I don't mean to sound either simplistic or sappy about it, but just wanted you to know that sometimes it all really does work out!!<br /><br />Good luck in your search! I hope you find everything you're looking for!Cin_Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10300262982567609924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-66642859277663146322009-04-21T01:22:00.000-04:002009-04-21T01:22:00.000-04:00Best of luck in your search.
I was adopted at bir...Best of luck in your search.<br /><br />I was adopted at birth. I am now re-connected with my birthmom. In fact, we just went to a yoga class together this evening. She's not my best friend, but we get along just fine.<br /><br />I also met my birthdad in person once, and conversed with him lots over the internet before he passed away.<br /><br />And I have just recently began building a relationship with my bio-half-brother.<br /><br />The main thing I want to say is: growing up, even though I didn't know much about my birthmom and didn't have any desire to find her, I never had ill feelings towards her. I never had hate or rage. <br /><br />May your mom have hope in her heart. And may you find that sweet baby wrapped in the blanket, all grown up and ready for a mature re-connection.Goodson Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02475997501510455528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-32913502222072019712009-04-13T17:05:00.000-04:002009-04-13T17:05:00.000-04:00Thanks for sharing your story here C, it's VER...Thanks for sharing your story here C, it's VERY nice to read an adoption story from a siblings point of view ... I got to read your mom's story too, which was equally beautiful.<BR/><BR/>I was relinquished in 1967, the fourth & last child of my birthmother, the third that she'd given away for adoption. I've found her, my two relinquished brothers, and the sister that she kept. I ALWAYS wanted to know where I came from, who I looked like, what my medical history was(is). For me, search was a necessity. It isn't for all adoptees.<BR/><BR/>I'm lucky to have a good relationship w/ my siblings. I think it was easier for us b/c A) we instantly LIKED each other and B) there wasn't any mother-child weirdness. My birthmother is complicated, but I do love her and I'm grateful to her every day for bringing into this world so I could be w/ my adoptive mom.<BR/><BR/>I wish you all the best in finding your brother, and whatever the final outcome is when you do, just know that there WILL be peace in it.<BR/><BR/>HUGSCheryl R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06725016421225923344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-44075697257343845812009-04-08T13:49:00.000-04:002009-04-08T13:49:00.000-04:00Oh Catherine... this is such a touching story. I w...Oh Catherine... this is such a touching story. I will send tons of good thoughts out that you find your long lost brother. Please keep us posted so that we can share in the good news!chermonbliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16026733619821776673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-58470339260343800042009-03-27T14:36:00.000-04:002009-03-27T14:36:00.000-04:00I found this post through a link at Bitch PhD toda...I found this post through a link at Bitch PhD today. Just wanted to let you know that my mother, too, relinquished a child for adoption. A girl, in 1961.<BR/><BR/>I always wanted to look for her, but my mom said it might kill her to meet her and find that she hated her for giving her up. It was pain enough to lose her.<BR/><BR/>Thankfully, joyfully, she found us. She had hired a detective who got access to records he had no legal right to have, and I'm so grateful he did. She brought great joy to my mother and we have a good, though tentative relationship. <BR/><BR/>I wish you luck in your search.Picky Eaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15074959479463214146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-72956137548614017672009-03-26T08:58:00.000-04:002009-03-26T08:58:00.000-04:00Wow... this story is so touching, so powerful... W...Wow... this story is so touching, so powerful... Whatever happened? Did you find him yet?<BR/><BR/>I hope so. I pray for your mother to know, from his mouth, that she made the right choice... And that he understands.Jaden Paigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05711181837109867842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-76665595227414821102009-03-25T21:35:00.000-04:002009-03-25T21:35:00.000-04:00My mom wants me to find her son. We talked about ...My mom wants me to find her son. We talked about it once some eight years ago. I have NO IDEA how to find him. I'm going to read all these comments in hopes someone has left you some hints...Just Vegashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09851077598314983920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-76118142955009961152009-03-23T02:41:00.000-04:002009-03-23T02:41:00.000-04:00Oh, goodness! A friend of mine gave up her first ...Oh, goodness! A friend of mine gave up her first child when we were teenagers. She wasn't with the father anymore and found a nice couple to adopt the child. We've mentioned the birth date to one another occasionally, but I think she is mostly focused on her husband and family. It was an open adoption but the adopting couple really wanted to feel the child was just theirs.<BR/><BR/>Good luck in your search!Al_Palhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10260615221471924302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-9951464652381400332009-01-14T20:17:00.000-05:002009-01-14T20:17:00.000-05:00Have you tried making a facebook group?I've seen s...Have you tried making a facebook group?<BR/>I've seen similar things out there -- that's how my mom found her husband's son.<BR/><BR/>Good luck with everything :)<BR/><BR/>I know it's a long shot but my Aunt worked at a hospital in Vancouver around that time and I'm going to ask her if it could have possibly been that one.. maybe she would have some ideas for you.<BR/><BR/>All the best :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-28729599302525158562008-09-21T07:03:00.000-04:002008-09-21T07:03:00.000-04:00I was adopted at birth and when I was in my 30s, I...I was adopted at birth and when I was in my 30s, I decided to search for my birth family. I looked on the aol adoption search boards & miraculously found a sister who had also been given up... we weren't certain at first & temporarily lost contact... I later found out that my birthname was the same as hers & contacted her again. From there, we got to know each other & contacted our birth mother & found out that we have 2 other sisters & a brother. We stay in touch on a semi-regular basis, thanks to email! :)<BR/><BR/>I hope you can find your brother & it works out well!Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06419074676583465296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-78407897440771030312008-09-18T17:26:00.000-04:002008-09-18T17:26:00.000-04:00I began a search for my birth-family in 2001--it s...I began a search for my birth-family in 2001--it seemed to take forever! Here is a site that might help <BR/><BR/>http://www.canadianadopteesregistry.org/try_11.html <BR/><BR/>Also: file with the department of women and children's services in BC...they will help--tremendously!<BR/><BR/>Here is a site for this: http://www.mcf.gov.bc.ca/adoption/reunion/index.htm<BR/><BR/>Here is another one: http://adoptionrecords.org/add.php3<BR/><BR/>It might seem like searching for a needle in a needle stack, but patience and persistence might just be what it takes to get your brother to turn up some day!!!<BR/><BR/>I wish you the very best of luck...and you will have it as love is on your side...:-)Adoptee24https://www.blogger.com/profile/04099640523818229924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-56474109396134136122008-09-04T11:25:00.000-04:002008-09-04T11:25:00.000-04:00My husband has the name of my biological father on...My husband has the name of my biological father on a scrap of paper somewhere. <BR/> He told me he would look for him. That was over 7 years ago. Sometimes I wonder. mostly, I forget. The man that raised me until he died when I was 13 was a bad man. In many ways. <BR/> So I feel I never had a father. <BR/> I cried when I read this, maybe your brother is waiting and hoping that someone will find him someday? Please at least give it a try. At least you'll know.Reinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01811492651043639987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-4351345363691289882008-08-31T11:35:00.000-04:002008-08-31T11:35:00.000-04:00Wow! I just wrote a post about not wanting to find...Wow! I just wrote a post about not wanting to find my birth mother. I appreciate your mother's story though. I can't even imagine how hard it was to give up a child, and I'm not sure that I'd be able to do it if I had to. <BR/><BR/>Like your commenter Natalie, I appreciate everything that my birth mother has done, but I'm just not ready for a relationship. I'm not sure I ever would be. I don't know if it's because my parents have been wonderful, selfless, loving people or if there's something else.<BR/><BR/>But I truly do hope it works out for your mother.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-30295585892960682952008-08-29T01:45:00.000-04:002008-08-29T01:45:00.000-04:00I've scoured the comments and can't find the one I...I've scoured the comments and can't find the one I left the other day. Weird. I've been thinking a lot about this and just came back to read everything here again. I love all the comments. Its helpful to hear all the different experiences people have had with this. <BR/><BR/>I have a brother. My mom is finally willing to find him. She will hardly talk about it, so it hasn't been possible to find him myself. This has inspired me to get her to tell me all the detail she has and get us signed up wherever we need to sign up to start the process. <BR/><BR/>I've missed him my whole life. For my mom, its the most painful thing she's ever been through. I'm amazed that she feels ready for that. She was afraid to know before. I want to know - even if it doesn't go well, I want to know him. I want to see what he looks like. I want to tell him he has a sister, and that if he ever wants me, I'm here.KJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-77643728722420315052008-08-27T13:12:00.001-04:002008-08-27T13:12:00.001-04:00As an adoptee, I read your article with great empa...As an adoptee, I read your article with great empathy and a twinge of sadness. I am glad you could share this story, I am sorry your mom went through it. Finding your brother, if he wants to be found will be glorious for all. I wish you all god speed. Thanks for pouring your heart and soul out!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-83442477203552407682008-08-27T13:12:00.000-04:002008-08-27T13:12:00.000-04:00As an adoptee, I read your article with great empa...As an adoptee, I read your article with great empathy and a twinge of sadness. I am glad you could share this story, I am sorry your mom went through it. Finding your brother, if he wants to be found will be glorious for all. I wish you all god speed. Thanks for pouring your heart and soul out!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-11960678559134071532008-08-26T22:16:00.000-04:002008-08-26T22:16:00.000-04:00I too am weeping. It strikes a very hard chord wit...I too am weeping. It strikes a very hard chord with me. I am the Adoptee. I too have a sister. But one that is older than me. 2.5 years older. I was a 60's baby, given up, the result too of an affair. But not the affair itself that was my sister, But the after shock of the devastation as he left my mother and she turned to another, and another.<BR/>I did find my Mother and Sister, it took time..patience and heartache..<BR/>We are not in reunion currently, I hope one day we will be..I am a reminder of that pain..For both of them..<BR/>Tread carefully and slowly, take your time..There are some fantastic people in adoption BLOGS VILLE That will be able to help you in your search..If you contact me (I have a email on my blog - the mail box)I will point you in the right direction to reach out to those people who may be able to set you on the right path..<BR/>Im so sorry *cry* that you were forced to give your baby away...Im so sorry that it hurt you so much. Im so sorry that you still hurt so much..Its so wrong to take a child from their mother.*cry*<BR/><BR/>((((((hugs to both of you)))))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-18821650946842460192008-08-26T18:49:00.000-04:002008-08-26T18:49:00.000-04:00dude! why was I thinking this was washington!! grr...dude! why was I thinking this was washington!! grrr, sometimes I'm such a space!!<BR/><BR/>Here are BC's laws... <BR/><BR/>http://www.vs.gov.bc.ca/adoption/releas_adopt.html<BR/><BR/>(smacking my head against the wall)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-36452249702781083372008-08-26T18:44:00.000-04:002008-08-26T18:44:00.000-04:00Wow, what a place to start. First of all, here is ...Wow, what a place to start. First of all, here is a link for you...<BR/><BR/>The first step I would do for your family is get the non identifying information available to you through the state of washington. <BR/><BR/>Your mother will have to sign for it though, its only available to surrendering parents, adoptees and adoptive parents. Not siblings. You COULD get the paperwork though, and have her sign it, and mail it in for her. <BR/><BR/>Have your mother also put a waiver to release yours and her identifying information should he come looking. This would go into his adoption file through the state. <BR/><BR/>There is also the option of a confidential intermediary, i don't agree with these, i feel that tehese are a violation of our rights. We dont need the state to go in between us to mediate relationships which they often screw up, but if you believe in them, the option is availalbe to you guys. Read about it here:<BR/><BR/>http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?page_id=195<BR/><BR/>Not sure if that link is going to come up or not, bloggers kinda fishy like that. If it doesn't come to my blog through the link and contact me there, I will help you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-45603025378562781132008-08-26T15:55:00.000-04:002008-08-26T15:55:00.000-04:00You have no idea how bad I want to hug your mom ri...You have no idea how bad I want to hug your mom right now.Tootsie Farklepantshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18336671002327112885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-3985030164334849392008-08-26T13:04:00.000-04:002008-08-26T13:04:00.000-04:00So beautifully written. I have more to say, but i...So beautifully written. I have more to say, but it would be about me, not this incredible story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-72808405836896320512008-08-26T08:15:00.000-04:002008-08-26T08:15:00.000-04:00This was a beautiful, heartbreaking post. I so ho...This was a beautiful, heartbreaking post. I so hope you find him Catherine. And I hope that when you do, your mother will never have to cry again for her lost baby.<BR/><BR/>Good luck to you on this journey.Karen MEGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10834425321020756655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-39615159460755139482008-08-26T01:21:00.000-04:002008-08-26T01:21:00.000-04:00Wow. I wish I knew how to begin helping you find y...Wow. I wish I knew how to begin helping you find your brother. What a beautiful, yet tear filled (for me) story. I wish you all the best.Meghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07596650736290691630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-47451563956546523432008-08-25T23:25:00.000-04:002008-08-25T23:25:00.000-04:00I searched and I found but, unfortunately, after s...I searched and I found but, unfortunately, after six years, my four half siblings still don't know that I exist. Someday they will. Best of luck and if you ever need any help or advice, feel free to ask. I learned a lot during my year-long search.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com