tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post2889335276342472805..comments2023-11-02T08:09:02.234-04:00Comments on Her Bad Mother: Why Anyone Who Says We Live In A Post-Feminist World Should Be Cuffed In The HeadHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-22267610748982450532008-07-11T13:09:00.000-04:002008-07-11T13:09:00.000-04:00Wow, the shitstorm ensues.Wow, the shitstorm ensues.I'll never tellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16076691784073948166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-91596388047131681852008-07-11T12:26:00.000-04:002008-07-11T12:26:00.000-04:00You know what Carrie? Those Jezebel ladies are mu...You know what Carrie? Those Jezebel ladies are much too old to be even considering "their mother's" stance on things. Fact of the matter is that they have an audience of very young impressionable women. It is not a mistake that they are a constant voice of things degrading to women. THEY DEGRADE US WITH THEIR VIEWS! It is disgusting and there is no excuse. MISTAKE? HA! How about a dispicable excuse of feminist views? PUUHLEEEAAASE! What is it you are trying to say? Oh my word! I hope you would want YOUR daughters to follow them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-10165303732307861802008-07-11T10:56:00.000-04:002008-07-11T10:56:00.000-04:00I think this is really great that you and so many ...I think this is really great that you and so many of your readers are hoping to teach their daughters and sons to respect themselves and each other.<BR/><BR/>Am curious about the lack of questioning over the Jezebel ladies' parents..... It almost seems like a bit of judgement here in the comments section "I'm going to teach my girls to not be like THOSE girls." Maybe the moms of the Jezebel women tried to do that too. There just seems to be a little bit of self-righteousness here and there: "I'm going to be a good mom and give my daughter all these self-esteem tools." Unfortunately/fortunately, those little girls might grow up to be trash talkin' promiscuous ladies. Or it might be a just a phase. Or they might get drunk and go on a show and make fools out of themselves and regret it later. Everybody makes mistakes. Some are just really big mistakes.<BR/><BR/>So many possibilities....Carrie Schmidthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03528387710541632685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-77386439033732139742008-07-10T22:24:00.000-04:002008-07-10T22:24:00.000-04:00AMEN, sister friend. And just imagine, our mothers...AMEN, sister friend. And just imagine, our mothers probably wanted that for us too. And felt just as powerless as we to ensure this gift for us. Right now, as my little one is just 3, it seems I can spare her. But in ten years? And beyond? I really worry.Kazahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04953977625325499626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-13380790313174105592008-07-10T10:04:00.000-04:002008-07-10T10:04:00.000-04:00HBM, I think it is safe to say that Jim is probabl...HBM, I think it is safe to say that Jim is probably one of those man ho's that has had one or both of the jezebels. Wow, what an Idiot with a capital I. He is what I hope my daughter's never come home with.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1341112419042018672008-07-10T09:52:00.000-04:002008-07-10T09:52:00.000-04:00I hope my daughter loves rocks and streams. Women ...I hope my daughter loves rocks and streams. Women will flow from those.Jonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08466593271512886307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-63026402567688033112008-07-10T09:12:00.000-04:002008-07-10T09:12:00.000-04:00OK, last round:I SAID, v.v. your comments - 'Clear...OK, last round:<BR/><BR/>I SAID, v.v. your comments - 'Clearly, I am a hateful, despicable femi-nazi who will raise a zealous beast of a child because of all my angry hate. Because, yes, that's entirely what this post, and my wishes for my daughter, are rooted in.'<BR/><BR/>YOU SAID - 'Give my comment another read. I said nothing of the sort, you are attacking a straw man.' <BR/><BR/>Let me remind you that your original words were: "You are exactly the type of person that gives feminism a reputation for being overzealous, full of hate and intolerant of dissent. I just hope you don't teach your daughter to "fly" by stepping on other people to get up there."<BR/><BR/>My paraphrase is only a very slightly more hyperbolic variation on what you said (cf. 'hyperbole' v.v. title of post, by the way)<BR/><BR/>And re: double standards. Just a fact. As a white woman, for example, it would be problematic for me to discuss the black community in the same manner that a black comedian does. Double standard? Yep. Rooted in good reason? Double yep.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-45481162996409756692008-07-10T08:57:00.000-04:002008-07-10T08:57:00.000-04:00I have to say "amen" too - as a woman and as mothe...I have to say "amen" too - as a woman and as mother to a daughter. But also as a college professor who often sees young women who are unaware of their wings or who have folded their wings too tightly around themselves. I want my girl to be someone who not only strtches her wings, but helps others find the strength of their own.mekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17917552705258680396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-21338246388253249282008-07-10T02:48:00.000-04:002008-07-10T02:48:00.000-04:00I'm a solo parent raising a four-year-old daughter...I'm a solo parent raising a four-year-old daughter. I want her to know, through example, she CAN in fact, do anything. She can do it all. And above all to respect herself. Bratz and Jezebels be damned.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-45913411691866630212008-07-10T01:40:00.000-04:002008-07-10T01:40:00.000-04:00asshats aren't worth your time, C. i recently lea...asshats aren't worth your time, C. i recently learned that the hard way on my own blog when i spent way too much time fighting with one. you gotta accept that some people here (*cough* jim *cough*) are just not understanding what you're actually saying. whether he's just incapable of grasping your style of debate or he's purposely misunderstanding you to cause drama - it doesn't matter much. you gotta let that fish flounder on his own.<BR/><BR/>as to the whole debacle, i commented on the other post, but i'll say here too that all day yesterday (after reading/viewing all the hoopla) i was mildly ashamed to be a twentysomething female. but, as my awesome mom pointed out when i talked to her about it, they do not represent all of us, and i don't have to let them get me down. i gotta keep on keeping on, proving to those around me that one can be a fun, flirty twentysomething without being a moron.Larahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04389047861929002263noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-46565667392606127832008-07-10T01:07:00.000-04:002008-07-10T01:07:00.000-04:00I've been a HUGE fan of your blog...so much so tha...I've been a HUGE fan of your blog...so much so that I've gone back from day one and read all that I can from that time, but still get your updates and cannot stop myself from reading them, as well.<BR/><BR/>As a mommy of three (yes, three!) daughters, HBM-you are my hero! I loved you when you struggled with the swaddle (that EVIL swaddle!-I've been THERE, honey!) and I love you now. Thank you for your voice! You are, to me, every mom.Angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01829844139480255430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-26501215309221330512008-07-10T00:51:00.000-04:002008-07-10T00:51:00.000-04:00Although my seventeen year old daughter is a huge ...Although my seventeen year old daughter is a huge pain in my ass, she is also a fierce young woman who doesn't take shit. I've got to admire that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-72363692368538177052008-07-10T00:44:00.000-04:002008-07-10T00:44:00.000-04:00> Clearly, I am a hateful, despicable femi-nazi wh...> Clearly, I am a hateful, despicable femi-nazi who will raise a zealous beast of a child because of all my angry hate. Because, yes, that's entirely what this post, and my wishes for my daughter, are rooted in.<BR/><BR/>Give my comment another read. I said nothing of the sort, you are attacking a straw man. And I think people who use the word "femi-nazi" sound ridiculous, it's certainly nothing you'd catch me saying.<BR/><BR/>> (Also? The 'what if I-a-man said this' arguments? So not effective, because guess what? You are a man. So, apples-to-oranges: you can't make a straight comparison between the implications of what I might say and what you might say. Sorry.)<BR/><BR/>This is an epitome of double standards. Different rules for men and women? Sounds pretty sexist to me. If a man should be criticised for saying something like that, so should you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-49787369575039148122008-07-10T00:28:00.000-04:002008-07-10T00:28:00.000-04:00I agree wholeheartedly with this post.As the mothe...I agree wholeheartedly with this post.<BR/><BR/>As the mother of a son, I feel it will be harder to teach him to respect girls if more <I>adult women</I> don't learn to respect themselves.<BR/><BR/>And incidentally, I AM a third-wave feminist. I'm 27. My mother was a Women's Studies minor who didn't want me to shave my legs or wear skirts or have long hair. So I pushed back a little. Like a lot of us daughters of feminists did. I revel in some more traditional aspects of my femininity. I'm all right with chivalry sometimes. I like to wear lipstick push-up bras and lace and strappy heels. I chose to stay home with my kid despite people telling me I was betraying the movement. &c. <BR/><BR/>But I firmly believe that rape is never justified. That's not even a "just" a feminist belief. It's a humanist one. And for these women to go around implying it's not really a big deal . . . well . . . it's sickening. <BR/><BR/>We will never be equal until we consider ourselves worthy of equality.Jaelithehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12081888212421953409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-88669735279595860392008-07-10T00:22:00.000-04:002008-07-10T00:22:00.000-04:00I hope this for my sons too, Catherine. I also ho...I hope this for my sons too, Catherine. I also hope they treat women with the respect they deserve while keeping their own self-respect intact. (Do you know what I mean here? For example, it seems commercials really make men look like bumbling idiots who need to ask women to tell them what to think, do, and how to raise the kids, etc.) <BR/>I hope my kids grow up to be like their Dad - he works, cooks, cleans, cuddles and is still very much a teammate and respects me as I do him.<BR/>It seems like such a fine balance, to teach such things. I hope we do well with it and raise a better generation than our own.Karen Bodkinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02648840299789088421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-82644629834772783912008-07-10T00:13:00.000-04:002008-07-10T00:13:00.000-04:00Jim - Fine. If all you want to take away from this...Jim - Fine. If all you want to take away from this post is the gist of the title - which, again, FIGURATIVE, which doesn't mean either of 'means it literally' OR 'doesn't mean it at all' but 'expressing something by other means,' in this case, a strong feeling of frustration such that I might also say 'would like to give them a shake' - then whatever. Clearly, I am a hateful, despicable femi-nazi who will raise a zealous beast of a child because of all my angry hate. Because, yes, that's entirely what this post, and my wishes for my daughter, are rooted in.<BR/><BR/>(Also? The 'what if I-a-man said this' arguments? So not effective, because guess what? You are a man. So, apples-to-oranges: you can't make a straight comparison between the implications of what I might say and what you might say. Sorry.)Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-69941863979577073532008-07-09T23:57:00.000-04:002008-07-09T23:57:00.000-04:00I don't know if you've read this: http://bitchphd....I don't know if you've read this: http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/2008/07/on-being-role-model.html or not but I thought it was a pretty interesting take on the whole Jezebel affair. It's the only piece I've read about the whole thing that takes that side of the "argument".Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13170131429639166827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-19696629132349471352008-07-09T23:54:00.000-04:002008-07-09T23:54:00.000-04:00> You seriously think that I plan on going around ...> You seriously think that I plan on going around flicking people in the head with my finger<BR/><BR/>No, I think you are advocating it. There's a lot of people who are all talk when it comes to slapping people they don't like around. They tend to phrase things the way you chose to, the suggestion of violence without committing to it themselves.<BR/><BR/>Just because you don't have the guts to do it, it doesn't mean the sentiment is any more pleasant.<BR/><BR/>> note that I said cuff, which has the connotation of a non-violent 'wake-up' shove<BR/><BR/>Uh, no. It's a slap. It actually used to be stronger than that; it originally meant to thrash or fight. Example dictionary definition:<BR/><BR/>"To strike with or as if with the open hand; slap."<BR/><BR/>If I, as a man, suggested that feminists should be slapped for thinking that the feminist movements work is complete, what do you imagine the response would be? Do you think the word "sexist" would come up? "Violent"? "Misogynist"?<BR/><BR/>And yet you, as a women, suggest the same for people who imply that the feminist movement's work might be complete, and you shake it off as "I didn't mean it!"<BR/><BR/>Could I get away with that excuse? Would you read "Why feminists should be slapped" and think to yourself "Oh, it's okay, he's only speaking figuratively"?<BR/><BR/>> That you think that's hateful and overzealous is just, I don't know, kinda hateful and overzealous.<BR/><BR/>Disagreeing strongly with somebody advocating violence is not hateful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-60911027912145355072008-07-09T23:46:00.000-04:002008-07-09T23:46:00.000-04:00It's mind boggling that anyone could be asshattar...It's mind boggling that anyone could be asshattary regarding this post.<BR/><BR/>Asshats are icky.<BR/><BR/>Bleck.Loralee Choatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16055102094371755499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-16823605757015648372008-07-09T23:45:00.001-04:002008-07-09T23:45:00.001-04:00Saw the tweet about trolls... could it be that you...Saw the tweet about trolls... could it be that you've blogged about two high profile blog dramas recently? That seems to invite the crazy. I firmly believe that blog drama makes us all a little stupid.Karahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08051433364695879305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-44872747082035019512008-07-09T23:45:00.000-04:002008-07-09T23:45:00.000-04:00Have not watched the video. Will not watch the vi...Have not watched the video. Will not watch the video. But have read plenty about this. It seems the perfect example of why I don't *get* third-wave feminism and why I feel like an old-school contemporary of Betty Friedan. Even though I'm only in my 30's. (Okay LATE 30's. Almost 40, but STILL...)<BR/><BR/>Also, I think people (namely these two Jezebel writers) should realize that it's best to leave comedy to the experts. What a lost opportunity for them.<BR/><BR/>And exposure to Bratz dolls? Sooooo not a hangnail.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04068133445052565116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-91310322994396933982008-07-09T23:42:00.000-04:002008-07-09T23:42:00.000-04:00Wanted to add my Amen. Great post, sister. Don't l...Wanted to add my Amen. Great post, sister. Don't let anyone tell ya different.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16486438725653025356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-80957164434296411452008-07-09T23:31:00.000-04:002008-07-09T23:31:00.000-04:00Jim? DUDE. You seriously think that I plan on goin...Jim? DUDE. You seriously think that I plan on going around flicking people in the head with my finger (note that I said cuff, which has the connotation of a non-violent 'wake-up' shove - not punch or beat BUT WHY THE FUCK AM I EXPLAINING THIS) - I was speaking figuratively.<BR/><BR/>But yeah, basically, I think that anyone who claims that we're past feminism needs to give their head a big ol' shake, and that the Jezebel spectacle proves it.<BR/><BR/>That you think that's hateful and overzealous is just, I don't know, kinda hateful and overzealous.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-76098347957586399942008-07-09T23:18:00.000-04:002008-07-09T23:18:00.000-04:00That's a pretty despicable attitude. You want to ...That's a pretty despicable attitude. You want to respond to verbal disagreement - wait, not even verbal disagreement, just the <I>implication</I> of something that doesn't line up with what you believe - you think that should be responded to with <I>violence</I>?<BR/><BR/>You are exactly the type of person that gives feminism a reputation for being overzealous, full of hate and intolerant of dissent. I just hope you don't teach your daughter to "fly" by stepping on other people to get up there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-81304528637374722742008-07-09T23:01:00.000-04:002008-07-09T23:01:00.000-04:00She will, no doubt.She will, no doubt.Run ANChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06088821030860597465noreply@blogger.com