tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post1712222454419156805..comments2023-11-02T08:09:02.234-04:00Comments on Her Bad Mother: ScreamHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger85125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-7998651206316540772008-10-19T21:20:00.000-04:002008-10-19T21:20:00.000-04:00All I can say is I totally understand, because the...All I can say is I totally understand, because there are times when The Bun is screaming that I scream along for a second before I break into tears. Hugs, lady, and know that it might not be right away, but it will get better and <I>you will get through this part!</I>kittenpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05215443551546036909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-25067665981065733342008-10-15T09:09:00.000-04:002008-10-15T09:09:00.000-04:00As someone who has never had (and doesn't want) ch...As someone who has never had (and doesn't want) children, I can't empathize very well with your blog, but it's fascinating and educational reading. It gives me insight into what my parallel existence might be like.Kristenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09239497370370468057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-6963143632556964052008-10-12T11:24:00.000-04:002008-10-12T11:24:00.000-04:00I found your blog through Maggie at "Okay Fine, Da...I found your blog through Maggie at "Okay Fine, Dammit" and I felt compelled to leave you a comment because I've been right where you are while my ex-husband was in Iraq for a year. It sucks. If you have someone local to help you, ask them to take the kids for a couple of hours so you can get some rest. All three of you will be better for it!Candancehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08159026806364774217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-71677358577711588552008-10-11T19:28:00.000-04:002008-10-11T19:28:00.000-04:00Oh, honey. :( I saw your newer post so I know that...Oh, honey. :( <BR/><BR/>I saw your newer post so I know that you're feeling better, but all the same, get someone to watch them for a day for you. Take a break! You need it and you deserve it and the kids will be fine without you. You need it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-18590052578018488572008-10-10T17:04:00.000-04:002008-10-10T17:04:00.000-04:00My heart aches for you. I don't have children (ye...My heart aches for you. I don't have children (yet) but I remember staying with my niece at a year-old while her parents were out-of-town over night. She was sick and only slept every 30 minutes the entire night. I seem to remember crying with her at some point. I don't know how you do it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-88566269848758462502008-10-10T11:12:00.000-04:002008-10-10T11:12:00.000-04:00You are being featured on Five Star Friday:http://...You are being featured on Five Star Friday:<BR/>http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2008/10/five-star-friday-edition-27.htmlElan Morganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03023867307505601913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-51593398175935138392008-10-10T10:40:00.000-04:002008-10-10T10:40:00.000-04:00I don't usually post here but I'm an avid reader o...I don't usually post here but I'm an avid reader of your blog. I want you to set up a date with a baby sitter. Leave your kiddos with someone you trust for a day and possibly a night. Go get a hotel room and sleep. ALL DAY. Just go rest, you will feel so much better. <BR/><BR/>You're munchkins will survive a day without you. You seem to be falling apart and I hurt for you. You are over whelmed and while I think you should look at getting your hormones tested and possibly put on a mild anti-depressant, I think you need sleep more than anything else. <BR/><BR/>I've been reading your blog for months now and I don't want to seem harsh but it seems you are coming a big unhinged from stress and big red flags that are saying you might have PPD. I know you'd never hurt your children but frankly I'm worried that you will hurt yourself. Please don't be ashamed to ask for help, it's the best thing I ever did.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-7544721350490490362008-10-10T02:01:00.000-04:002008-10-10T02:01:00.000-04:00Another vote for potential reflux. I thought I was...Another vote for potential reflux. I thought I was losing my mind with my baby's constant crying. While reflux isn't the first thing a mother wants to hear when baby is screaming, it is comforting to know baby will feel better and there will be "normal" moments again in your home. <BR/><BR/>My reflux-ridden baby does not like the car seat, so don't be surprised if he doesn't feel soothed by long car rides. The car seat test works for some but not others. In fact, she screamed (or nursed) 99% of the day for months until we discovered reflux.<BR/><BR/>Ask your doctor, if she/he says colic, go to another who is willing to entertain the thought of reflux if baby's symptoms reflect those of reflux. Remember, there is silent reflux which is quite different from reflux you commonly hear about. It seems to take longer in diagnosing. Try again and again until you figure it out with the right pediatrician. There are zillions of reflux boards offering support of tired and emotionally exhausted mothers to each other. Find some, go there, read, and don't feel alone. Whether or not your baby has reflux, posters on reflux boards feel the way you do. You are not alone.<BR/><BR/>Hang in there. It gets better. You are a wonderful mother. My toddler was weaned from reflux meds at 12 months, and she is reflux-free these days. <BR/><BR/>At one point I forgot how it felt to smile. You will smile again.heather hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15069995361906746771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-51990959896254810112008-10-09T20:11:00.000-04:002008-10-09T20:11:00.000-04:00when i read stuff like this, i'm so glad that the ...when i read stuff like this, i'm so glad that the internet exists. i mean, we can't take away your terrible moment...and i'm pretty sure 99% of us live too far away to rush over and give you some help...but, you know what? someday there's going to be a new mom who reads this, and feels better. i know this won't help you feel better in this terrible moment, but it's still terribly important.<BR/><BR/>i hope you can feel the whole internet hugging you, and i hope it helps at least a little.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-66618493950089869742008-10-09T19:16:00.000-04:002008-10-09T19:16:00.000-04:00Oh C, I know just how you feel. Screaming into th...Oh C, I know just how you feel. Screaming into the pillow? Done that, really, I have. Then my throat hurts ...<BR/><BR/>I wish I was close enough to drive over to give you a break. I do.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10812707312289852258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-17946257825709480852008-10-09T16:36:00.000-04:002008-10-09T16:36:00.000-04:00You need another adult in the house when your husb...You need another adult in the house when your husband is away. No question. Just do it.<BR/> <BR/>My heart goes out to you.merinzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01950053039147788819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-53543265749781874822008-10-09T16:18:00.000-04:002008-10-09T16:18:00.000-04:00Yes, HBM, scream into a pillow, punch that pillow,...Yes, HBM, scream into a pillow, punch that pillow, turn on some loud music and scream and yell and dance all the anger and frustration out. You're not the only one.... This is not abnormal. It's fucking hard.<BR/><BR/>Things are better for me now that Rascal is 1 and Monkey is 3. Both are more manageable. So, it does get much better. It really does.Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07516203764767040649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-22947959422080366182008-10-09T14:16:00.000-04:002008-10-09T14:16:00.000-04:00PS - The reasoning behind the car seat is that the...PS - The reasoning behind the car seat is that the acid can't rise back up the pipes as easily if he's upright.<BR/><BR/>Also if he wants to endlessly sip on your boobs. Even when he's well fed. The milk can soothe the burn of the reflux.Mom O Matichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00663817788501199975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-20498049115797378602008-10-09T14:15:00.000-04:002008-10-09T14:15:00.000-04:00Did you ask your pediatrician about the acid reflu...Did you ask your pediatrician about the acid reflux? A good home test is to see if he sleeps better in his car seat. Carry him in and see if he can finish out his nap/bedtime better if you leave him in the carseat.<BR/><BR/>(And screw you people who think this is cruel. They were more smushed up in your belly.)<BR/><BR/>If that seems to help you really should see if you can some of that magic medicine in a little dropper from your pediatrican.<BR/><BR/>It's so damn easy to blame ourselves when maybe it's just a physical issue he's having?Mom O Matichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00663817788501199975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-8515312805021418092008-10-09T13:57:00.000-04:002008-10-09T13:57:00.000-04:00seems like whenever the sht hits the fan around he...seems like whenever the sht hits the fan around here, it's everything that could go wrong has. everybody's sht is flying, including mine. whoever ever coined the 'terrible two's' did us a huge disservice because the 3's are so much worse than 2's. i hear you and hope you're better and thank you for being so honest about how hard it is and how shtty kids can be.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-3328209473233811732008-10-09T13:35:00.000-04:002008-10-09T13:35:00.000-04:00I haven't been reading terribly long, so I might h...I haven't been reading terribly long, so I might have some details wrong; forgive me if I do. <BR/><BR/>I don't want to say you shouldn't call someone if you feel you are breaking, and I don't want to malign the medical solution, because I know that's valid and often necessary. And I know that when you're against the wall exercises in reframing your reality aren't usually welcome or easy to see, so if you hate it you hate it.<BR/><BR/>But. I'm at the two-month point with breastfeeding my daughter (after failing utterly with my son) and the best breastfeeding advice I've read (thank you, kellymom.com) has helped not just with breastfeeding but with parenting a teeny tiny one in general: change your expectations. <BR/><BR/>I know that sounds like it's minimizing what you're going through, but if you really really think about it and believe it and do it, it changes everything. <BR/><BR/>Expect to have your littlest one on your breast for the vast majority of your day, and all of a sudden the times you are untethered really mean something and stand out. <BR/><BR/>Expect that he will cry when he's not eating or sleeping, and the happy smiling at you times will do the same. All of a sudden you'll be thinking of him as an easy, "good" baby. Still a baby, but manageable and sweet.<BR/><BR/>Expect that any activity is going to take three times longer than it should, and that planning to do more than one thing for the day might just be more than everyone in the house can handle.<BR/><BR/>When you're at a low point, it can seem as though they're doing all this to spite you :) but try reframing it like this (this was my husband's suggestion and has pulled me out of a manufactured baby crisis more than once): he's crying because he loves you and is lost without you. Sounds like you already breastfeed on demand and baby-wear, but sometimes those asses (every family has a few) who are always quick to point out ways you can micro-manage your baby--you know the ones who always say the baby is using you for a pacifier, and maybe you can give the baby a little formula, and why are you carrying the baby around all the time, are you sure you should be eating onions, and oh you're going to spoil the baby--can rub off on you in subtle ways and make you think the baby is somehow manipulating you or pulling you into something you didn't sign up for. And it's so untrue, and not only makes you think you're doing something wrong, but that your baby is, too. <BR/><BR/>All anybody signed up for here was nestling up and loving each other, and everything else can just go. Away. <BR/><BR/>Let your baby have your time and, most importantly, your boobs :) without thinking of it as martyring yourself--just settle down into your lizard brain, let yourself be a mammal, and be proud you're giving him what he needs with no strings attached. Everyone else in the house will sense that peace and settle down, too. <BR/><BR/>Even if you're as high-strung as I am. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-87625217887041978082008-10-09T13:23:00.000-04:002008-10-09T13:23:00.000-04:00Mama V - he makes tv commercials, and they've been...Mama V - he makes tv commercials, and they've been shooting at night. No way around it. He's home tonight though, and that will be a vast improvement. xoHer Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-13152303123839015412008-10-09T12:51:00.000-04:002008-10-09T12:51:00.000-04:00Oh sweetie, I so wish I lived down the street so I...Oh sweetie, I so wish I lived down the street so I could come help. Being a Mommy is so exhausting sometimes. <BR/><BR/>If there is nobody close by that you can call, please please look into hiring a babysitter to come in so you can just you know sleep and breathe.<BR/><BR/>Hang in there...xoxoxoMommato2https://www.blogger.com/profile/13475207169746158064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1377748716678390292008-10-09T12:43:00.000-04:002008-10-09T12:43:00.000-04:00This made me so sad for you.I'm going through a ro...This made me so sad for you.<BR/>I'm going through a rough time with my baby and 4 year old, but my husband is at home at night.<BR/>I take Ativan too, sometimes, for anxiety. I take 2 tablets and know I'll sleep. But, if I take just one it helps, but I can stay awake and still function, and it helps the anxiety. Could you maybe take a smaller dose if you need to stay awake?<BR/>I'm not trying to be preachy because I KNOW this sucks, but sometimes I find when I'm anxious and trying to get the baby to sleep I get tense and she senses it. It helps me to close my eyes and try to relax and that sometimes helps her relax.<BR/>I've also totally succumbed to putting her in bed with me to make it through the night.<BR/>Hang in there.LDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14132834699208306395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-92219663553655666352008-10-09T12:28:00.000-04:002008-10-09T12:28:00.000-04:00I remember the feeling you are describing so well....I remember the feeling you are describing so well. And I felt so alone, and felt like there was no one I could call. I know now that there were so many people I could have called. I wish I lived closer to you. I would come if you needed me. I hope you have a better night.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-23824045277689126932008-10-09T12:04:00.000-04:002008-10-09T12:04:00.000-04:00Hugs to you Catherine. It's all I can say, and I k...Hugs to you Catherine. It's all I can say, and I know it's no help. I hope your husband is coming home tonight.Issahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11309906249557761472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1095571773927343862008-10-09T11:39:00.000-04:002008-10-09T11:39:00.000-04:00I know those feelings so well. Talk to someone, an...I know those feelings so well. Talk to someone, anyone and let someone tend to the baby and get some sleep. Sleep does help, but not right away. Hugs to you.justmylifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11374379802087502624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-11501311402521677852008-10-09T11:31:00.000-04:002008-10-09T11:31:00.000-04:00I feel so bad for you. Please please find someone ...I feel so bad for you. Please please find someone to help you through this time. Don't be afraid to impose on people. PLEASE, IMPOSE. Find someone to come over and spot you regularly. You need HELP, and people WILL help you. You will get through this. You will. Hugs to you.Sheryl (papernapkin)https://www.blogger.com/profile/06946482332898204238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-65383842695368093462008-10-09T11:27:00.000-04:002008-10-09T11:27:00.000-04:00I swear, Catherine, I would drive from Ottawa to c...I swear, Catherine, I would drive from Ottawa to come and help if you needed me. We've never met - but i know what you're going through. I know getting help at night is harder than help during the day. What about getting out for a few hours of peace and quiet during the day if you can, too? Even just to go out by yourself, and spend some time reading in the sun at the park - going for a massage, to get your hair done... hang out at the library... just a little sanity for yourself! As for the nights... does HBF know how bad it is? I know that's a terrible question to ask, but sometimes they just don't get it, even thought they think they do. They want to "fix it" but they can't. Is there any way he can alter his work scheudle until you get through the worst of this?<BR/>Sending peaceful, positive thoughts your way...Mama Vhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11579550933939010495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-75549659759181198402008-10-09T11:22:00.000-04:002008-10-09T11:22:00.000-04:00catherine its so overwhelming sometimes isn't it?....catherine its so overwhelming sometimes isn't it?...maybe you can have someone stay over on nights when your beloved is away working?just to help with whatever you need.glad the children finally settled down for you.no onw will think anything bad about you if you call them for help next time this happens hugs to youAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com