tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post1342582382262727540..comments2023-11-02T08:09:02.234-04:00Comments on Her Bad Mother: Endymion's SleepHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-45444489714337065822008-10-03T19:56:00.000-04:002008-10-03T19:56:00.000-04:00What you said is so much what I am going through t...What you said is so much what I am going through that I cried for you and me. Good luck... I hope the Ativan helps. (I'm pretty sure it will and probably should get some for myself.) They should hand out a years worth of free Ativan samples to Moms leaving the hospital with newborns. Sorry this doesn't make sense... too tired.McCrazyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16181987623838404116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-80178326803080002052008-10-02T09:36:00.000-04:002008-10-02T09:36:00.000-04:00Isn't is shocking what us mums go through and isn'...Isn't is shocking what us mums go through and isn't it fantastic that people have blogs to discover that they are so not alone and most definitely not a bad mother.<BR/><BR/>Just know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. <BR/>It may take a while to get there, but get there you will.<BR/><BR/>And, make up the rice already!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01124513427678555863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-22747245690487817082008-10-01T02:08:00.000-04:002008-10-01T02:08:00.000-04:00When my son was that age he couldn't be layed down...When my son was that age he couldn't be layed down for more than 15 minutes before he would wake up. Unless he was attached to my breast.<BR/><BR/>It turned out he had acid reflux. Sucking on the breast milk helped to keep the acid down. Once we got him on some kind of magical dropper medicine he slept. <BR/><BR/>I was weeping on phone with my Dr. thanking her for helping me to sleep again. <BR/><BR/>Maybe see if your son's having some kind of medical reaction that's keeping him up?Mom O Matichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00663817788501199975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-64792489305464937942008-09-30T17:07:00.000-04:002008-09-30T17:07:00.000-04:00My son's 5 weeks old and I get flack for letting h...My son's 5 weeks old and I get flack for letting him sleep on my chest but when he startles himself awake every time I put him in a bassinet and has a meltdown, I have to do it if there's any chance of sleep. Last night out of desperation after I fed him we put him in his swing and he slept for nearly 3 hours, unheard of in this house. We aren't making a habit of it, but if I've learned anything in the last 5 weeks, it's that parenting is a bag of tricks, you've gotta do what works. <BR/><BR/>Try just one earplug in while you're sleeping - I've found it makes things way easier. The best sleep, though is when you can send them with someone and it's their job to occupy them (ie go for a walk) so that you get some rest.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-81292578470201429732008-09-28T14:36:00.000-04:002008-09-28T14:36:00.000-04:00Sometimes I forget what a brilliant writer you are...Sometimes I forget what a brilliant writer you are. I know that doesn't help you with your sleep deprivation, but maybe while you're lying awake you can think of how much I, and so many readers, love you--and you'll smile.Gray Matter Mattershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04229890109467300091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-77875280157262077382008-09-26T16:56:00.000-04:002008-09-26T16:56:00.000-04:00Ok, sweetie. According to my baby books, just the ...Ok, sweetie. According to my baby books, just the ones that worked for me...once your child reaches 11 lbs. they are big enough to sleep 8 hour stretches with no loss of weight or terrible consequences. Second, at 4 months you can start using the cereal. I actually had to use it with my twins way earlier in their bottles (1 medicine cup full to 8 oz of bottle, use Y or cross-cut bottle nipple) because of their severe reflux. I had to feed both my boys with a mop bucket around to catch the puke. Couldn't go anywhere without it for months. Try the cereal because I promise it will help. Email me if you have any questions Catherine. I'm here and I'm ready to offer my help if its needed. fetchthis@hotmail.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-36516235056561971202008-09-25T14:50:00.000-04:002008-09-25T14:50:00.000-04:00I couldn't believe it when I read this post, you d...I couldn't believe it when I read this post, you described exactly how I feel, I had no idea that other mothers had this same thing happen to them. I remember the first time I woke up to find my newborn daughter in bed with me sleeping peacefully with NO recollection whatsoever of getting up and putting her there, I was so upset and scared of what could have happened. She is now 7 months old and it still happens, she has even fallen out of bed (luckily it was a short fall onto a carpet) Sleep deprivation is a powerful thing, and apparently the instinct to mother is even more powerful! Hopefully you get some sleep soon good luck!Just Call Me Sleep Deprivedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16540792596085928845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-17581854489653258892008-09-25T14:01:00.000-04:002008-09-25T14:01:00.000-04:00But it seems to last forever, doesn't it? I remem...But it seems to last forever, doesn't it? I remember calling the early days "The Dark Days" for that very reason. Everything else would just be so much more manageable if I just got some sleep. <BR/><BR/>I know. I hear you. Hang in there.<BR/><BR/>P.S. It sucks. Bigtime.Run ANChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06088821030860597465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-78175630920728297792008-09-25T13:53:00.000-04:002008-09-25T13:53:00.000-04:00HBM,I am so sorry you are in this place. I have b...HBM,<BR/>I am so sorry you are in this place. <BR/>I have been reading your blog for 2 years, have never commented, but today I must.<BR/>Please let me be your cheerleader! YOU CAN DO IT! and JASPER CAN DO IT!<BR/>I was in the exact same situation with my now 10 month old. We are CELEBRATING 1 month of boy in crib - tomorrow!<BR/>In retrospect, I wish I had had the energy to do something about the situation sooner. But sleep depriviation makes it hard to change the status quo, even when you know things are broken.<BR/>I think to some extent we were disturbing each other and the nursing became a reflex to soothe us both to sleep. I hope you will be pleasantly surprised by the transition to crib and nursery.<BR/>If you would like more details on how we handled the transition I'd be happy to share. You can email me srossiter at ctcweb dot net.<BR/>Good luck.<BR/>I'm rooting for you.<BR/><BR/>P.S. Here's one way I look at it: Could YOU sleep with a plate of brownies on the pillow next to your head?!?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-18186441649474076462008-09-25T01:12:00.000-04:002008-09-25T01:12:00.000-04:00oh, you phrase it so well. I remember those days w...oh, you phrase it so well. I remember those days with a combination of horror and nostalgia. <BR/><BR/>my trick: I got in cahoots w/ hubby. I forced myself to go to bed at 8:00 while hubby stayed up w/ or w/out baby 'til midnight. If there was a feeding during that time, baby got a bottle. Then the midnight to 6 am shift was mine and my boobs'. 6-7, it was daddy-time again, since he'd have to be waking up for work anyway. At least I'd know I was getting a good 4 hour chunk of sleep as I rounded the corner into the long, dark night. Hang in, bad(good)mother.!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-69646559957166110452008-09-25T00:01:00.000-04:002008-09-25T00:01:00.000-04:00Catherine,I didn't read all the posts, so sorry if...Catherine,<BR/>I didn't read all the posts, so sorry if this is a repeat. My son (age 1) is still a terrible sleeper, but one thing that helped me at least relax and sleep deeply in between the never-ending nursing was to put a queen-sized mattress on the floor in the bedroom beside our room. I start off sleeping in my bed, when he wakes up, I go nurse him and sleep with him for the night. The beauty of the mattress on the floor was that I stopped worrying that he would somehow roll off of my bed - that anxiety was keeping me from sleeping deeply between feeds. Also, by starting off in my room, I get a bit of sleep that is not interrupted by his little grunts. He actually has to cry (just a wee tiny bit!) to wake me up from next door, and then I pad in and feed him. It's still not perfect, but it's better than co-sleeping with him in my bedroom. Sleep Jasper!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-81480779133094887102008-09-24T23:10:00.000-04:002008-09-24T23:10:00.000-04:00been there. done that. still doing it to some exte...been there. done that. still doing it to some extent. at 5-mo old my daughter took three 30-minute naps a day. that was when i realized that if she nursed as she slept on my lap or in bed, she would sleep almost as long as she was supposed to. i have rocked her for hours upon hours. i have woken 7, 10 times a night.<BR/><BR/>she's now going to be 3 next month. she still sleeps with us, she still nurses at night (though not during the day, but she needs it to stay asleep past 3am), and i am still tired. tired. tired. i feel like crap most of the time. i think she's slept past 7:30am twice in her life (and that includes the times she's been sick). she has given up her one nap and she's not even 3. she has boundless energy. she wakes up happy, refreshed. but she's better than she was. a lot better. now she might wake up once before 3am. she occasionally gets up at 5am, but usually it's more like 7. i get a little more sleep than i used to. that's all i can say.<BR/><BR/>one day you will get more sleep (and it's hard to see it from here, i know. oh how i know). and one day my daughter will be a teenager and i will drag her ass out of bed early in the mornings, just for fun.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-34273456701693038922008-09-24T21:58:00.000-04:002008-09-24T21:58:00.000-04:00Oh my. I have been right in that exact place, in y...Oh my. I have been right in that exact place, in your exact thoughts and feelings. <BR/>I think that is both a miracle that we are able to mother in our sleep, and a terrible thing that we sleep while mothering. But the former we do because we are made to do so- made to be unconditionally mothers- whether asleep or awake or somewhere between. The latter we do out of neccessity. We have to take what we can for ourselves, even if it seems like the tiniest crumb, it somehow sustains us until this too shall pass.Michelle Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09355860795537414954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-23516924468864425292008-09-24T21:46:00.000-04:002008-09-24T21:46:00.000-04:00Delurking to join the flash-back crew. Dear lord ...Delurking to join the flash-back crew. Dear lord I had forgotten how awful this was. I mean I made all the right noises, but I never let myself truly remember. This took me right back to 4 and 2 years ago respectively. Please do whatever you can to get some rest - pump, formula, rice cereal - heck, even if the crib isn't set up, borrow a pack n play. As long as he's safe, he'll sleep. And I echo whoever said a white noise machine. For the baby, but ESPECIALLY for you. I couldn't sleep through jack, even on the monitor until my husband brought one home, plugged it in, and voila. I slept. I still heard my girls when they needed me, but otherwise, I slept. Take care.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-38089418056903941942008-09-24T20:46:00.000-04:002008-09-24T20:46:00.000-04:00hi, I've never commented but love your writing. t...hi, I've never commented but love your writing. this post so resonated with me - the exhaustion is a killer. especially when you have another child. my second baby was 9 1/2 pounds at birth and also nursed all the time. at 4 months, on ped's recommendation, I gave her rice cereal twice a day and it helped a lot. that, a formula supplement bottle at night and the white noise machine really seemed to work. Good luck!!!<BR/>joannaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-13316533945986760732008-09-24T17:05:00.000-04:002008-09-24T17:05:00.000-04:00I agree with the person who suggested formula befo...I agree with the person who suggested formula before bed. For me, even though I didn't necessarily have to get up to nurse (if husband got up and gave bottle), I still woke up because the boobs were explosive torpedoes and I would be SOAKED. If I were you, I'd:<BR/><BR/>1. Switch to formula for nighttime feedings and make husband do some. Baby will survive and will be just fine with a bottle or two a day. Or you could pump and use that. But try to dry up at night if engorgement is a problem for you.<BR/><BR/>2. Tell husband to leave you sleep for many, many hours this weekend. Like all day on Saturday and all day on Sunday. <BR/><BR/>3. Put baby in crib. If he seems restless, put him in his carseat in his crib. Helps baby feel encased but it's not your arms encasing him. Win win. I did it for my boys till they were about 8 months old. <BR/><BR/>4. Fans are good. I can't sleep without one now. <BR/><BR/>Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-12747637574193096692008-09-24T16:48:00.000-04:002008-09-24T16:48:00.000-04:00carrie, anon - gonna do the rice tonight. fingers ...carrie, anon - gonna do the rice tonight. fingers crossed!Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-64622781423557041332008-09-24T16:47:00.000-04:002008-09-24T16:47:00.000-04:00I did the rice cereal at 4 mos to all 3 sons becau...I did the rice cereal at 4 mos to all 3 sons because they were huge too and were feeding every hour. I believe that big babies need more than the breast milk can provide at a certain weight. None of the kids had any problems. GO FOR IT! Oh, also, do the crib thing too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-46770502457223559472008-09-24T16:24:00.000-04:002008-09-24T16:24:00.000-04:00I just saw your comment about the rice cereal and ...I just saw your comment about the rice cereal and YES! Try it! <BR/><BR/>My middle one was a big baby (9.8) and he needed to fill up his tummy a lot. As for those who say it's bad to give cereal before 6 months, ALL of my kids had cereal at or before 4 months and none of them have allergies or other issues, that's 3 for 3 if you're counting!<BR/><BR/>Best of luck Catherine!carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04038972194323564240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-51139123631570557432008-09-24T15:59:00.000-04:002008-09-24T15:59:00.000-04:00I fell asleep countless times while nursing with m...I fell asleep countless times while nursing with my son lying on the nursing pillow on my lap while I sat in the glider. We spent hours like that because I could not stay awake anymore. A few times I woke up nursing in the chair having no recollection of getting out of bed and picking him up and sitting down. It was scary and yet, I never dropped him, he never seemed to have close to falling or having anything bad happen. And at least I got a bit of sleep...Larahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15430670344569781188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-65015121724381552382008-09-24T15:50:00.000-04:002008-09-24T15:50:00.000-04:00I remember, with utter horror and chills, the slee...I remember, with utter horror and chills, the sleeplessness. It's the evil thing that is infancy. I know you try everything and I know you have suggestions and I also know you know this doesn't last forever. I know you did it before and was brave enough to do it again.<BR/><BR/>But still. It's hard. That no sleep thing. So, utterly, hard.<BR/><BR/>XOMrs. Flingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05709633089269330834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-30466350914354509182008-09-24T15:38:00.000-04:002008-09-24T15:38:00.000-04:00Wow, I remember that exhaustion so well. I used t...Wow, I remember that exhaustion so well. I used to fall asleep nursing while sitting up - but I don't think it was *real* sleep, rather some weird mutation of sleep, mamasleep, tired, tired, mamasleep.<BR/><BR/>I would say bring him to your bed, if only so you can rest.<BR/><BR/>Or leave him for a few (possible 8?) hours with someone and take a good, long nap. You need it, and you deserve it. It's not a luxury at this point but a necessity.carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04038972194323564240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-56905030762103027952008-09-24T14:14:00.000-04:002008-09-24T14:14:00.000-04:00anon - he's four months. but he's MASSIVE.anon - he's four months. but he's MASSIVE.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-4556301255402816622008-09-24T14:07:00.000-04:002008-09-24T14:07:00.000-04:00I have lost track of how old Jasper is. If he is ...I have lost track of how old Jasper is. If he is at least 4 months (although some recommend 6 now, I'm not sure you can make it another 2 months) I say YES!!! Give him cereal. Or you are going to have to let him cry so that he learns he CAN go longer without nursing. It sucks, but it sounds like you really need it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-10638321033911203242008-09-24T13:54:00.000-04:002008-09-24T13:54:00.000-04:00At least you have already been there done that onc...At least you have already been there done that once, and know that there is another side.....and that every day you take another step to crossing over to it.......<BR/>:)Gidge Urizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14879734082487890329noreply@blogger.com