tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post116845978160038896..comments2023-11-02T08:09:02.234-04:00Comments on Her Bad Mother: A Pox On MeHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger66125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1169049607766485242007-01-17T11:00:00.000-05:002007-01-17T11:00:00.000-05:00focus on the glow is a wonderful sentiment, but ha...focus on the glow is a wonderful sentiment, but hard to remember sometimes. i have gotten caught up in people's visible reactions to my daughter. it's all "hi, how you doing?" until she takes off her hat. HELLO! whatever made her lose her hair (chemo) is not contagious! get a grip. fortunately, it doesn't bother her one bit. unless someone thinks she's a boy, then look out.megachickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07803819761757537823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168901014386858442007-01-15T17:43:00.000-05:002007-01-15T17:43:00.000-05:00late on my commenting. Hi, anyway!late on my commenting. Hi, anyway!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168881777359267462007-01-15T12:22:00.000-05:002007-01-15T12:22:00.000-05:00I just wandered over here.. this was an amazing po...I just wandered over here.. this was an amazing post. I really enjoyed it.<BR/><BR/>I actually had a crazy woman who doesn't like me send me a text message that said "a pox on your house." So people apparently use the terms in today's day and age. At least if you're me!<BR/><BR/>Wonderbaby is precious. People turn away from hacking children too. At least people with kids. Part of protecting your child from getting even more germs. That's just a habit for me.<BR/><BR/>But I love the conclusion that you came to about it being dangerous to take pride in the appearance of your child, to the point it becomes part of your own identity.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168780831175989482007-01-14T08:20:00.000-05:002007-01-14T08:20:00.000-05:00Hi! From Stacy in Tampa.Hi! From Stacy in Tampa.Stacyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01292347765475637473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168669840786243902007-01-13T01:30:00.000-05:002007-01-13T01:30:00.000-05:00Delurking here. Glad WonderBaby is feeling better...Delurking here. Glad WonderBaby is feeling better, though that vacation was probably less than restful.<BR/> I understand why people are fearful of pox; varicella is an airborne disease, and toddlers aren't good at covering their mouths or washing their hands. Of course, some adults aren't either. Still sucks for WonderBaby.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168657032038810532007-01-12T21:57:00.000-05:002007-01-12T21:57:00.000-05:00I'm glad your girl is feeling better. She must hav...I'm glad your girl is feeling better. She must have been miserably unhappy with the itchiness.<BR/><BR/>Hello, I'm (the now de-lurked) Canucked-up mama. I love reading your blog - always interesting, insightful and well written. <BR/><BR/>Great post. The world would be a much better place if more people focused on the glow.Canuckedup mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18307468740398987635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168649193349530402007-01-12T19:46:00.000-05:002007-01-12T19:46:00.000-05:00I'm so glad she's feeling better.Hello! I'm Nicol...I'm so glad she's feeling better.<BR/><BR/>Hello! I'm Nicole and I'm much more than a mom. But aren't we all?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168648203670796402007-01-12T19:30:00.000-05:002007-01-12T19:30:00.000-05:00Been reading for a while, but don't know if I've c...Been reading for a while, but don't know if I've commented before, so Happy De-Lurking Week to you!<BR/><BR/>And my Pumpkin's a friendly girl, too, as well as a cutie. Her favorite thing to do lately is to ask anybody who stops to chat with us, "What's your name?"Ms. Huis Herselfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10965333243525156916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168646701289990722007-01-12T19:05:00.000-05:002007-01-12T19:05:00.000-05:00"Hurrah for me and fuck you"Bwahahahaha!!!! That..."Hurrah for me and fuck you"<BR/><BR/>Bwahahahaha!!!! <BR/><BR/>That's funny, and I'm glad I didn't address the pox before I read this post, speaking as a mother who had to break down and give the vaccine so her kid could get into kindergarten (I was so hoping he'd just "catch it" sometime!).<BR/><BR/>But glad WB is feeling better and I thought she was just delightful to look at with or without pox.the mystichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11536278508991059301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168632555212375832007-01-12T15:09:00.000-05:002007-01-12T15:09:00.000-05:00Delurking from Delaware!Hello and love the blog.Delurking from Delaware!<BR/><BR/>Hello and love the blog.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168629189927935182007-01-12T14:13:00.000-05:002007-01-12T14:13:00.000-05:00Hi,De-lurking here. I've been reading you for awhi...Hi,<BR/><BR/>De-lurking here. I've been reading you for awhile and have a few things to say:<BR/><BR/>1) Wonderbaby is beautiful even with the pox. Even more so because her perfect little imperfect face tugs at your heartstrings.<BR/><BR/>2) I have two boys, 10 and 7. They are very different in looks and personality, but both just as beautiful. Still, they drive me nuts sometimes and in my worst moments, I think, "I don't know how anybody can think that having a baby is the greatest thing in the world. What was I thinking???" But then I remember the incredible love affair you have with your child the minute they're born. It's unlike any love you've ever experienced before, and you feel blessed to have it. I know that is how you feel and why you need to blog about it. Even after 10 sometimes frustrating years, I still feel it too. I digress. Back to their looks. They were cute babies and are adorable tweeners, but I worry about those awkward teen years. Having had acne growing up, I'm already scoping out dermatologists... Heck, a little vanity is a good thing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168627696780819842007-01-12T13:48:00.000-05:002007-01-12T13:48:00.000-05:00Hi HBM, no lurking here! It's me -- PunditMom! ;...Hi HBM, no lurking here! It's me -- PunditMom! ;)<BR/><BR/>Thank you for this lovely post. We are such a beauty driven society. <BR/><BR/>I usually feel free to agree with people when they tell me that R. is a beuatiful girl -- since she's adopted, she doesn't have any of my genes, so there's no subtle, self-congratulations on my part! What bothers me is those seem to be the only comments we get or, that I've noticed, adults give about children. R. (and all children) are so many other things. <BR/><BR/>I don't want R. to think she is "just" pretty, so sometimes if "we" get a compliment, I'll say something like, "Thank you, and she's a smart one (or good artist, etc.), too!" While R. beams, the speaker usually gives me a "What kind of weirdo are you" look. But I figure, what the hell -- I've just made R.'s day!PunditMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12919969826505761593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168624888025277272007-01-12T13:01:00.000-05:002007-01-12T13:01:00.000-05:00Hey! Hopped over from Life in the 'shwa.Great post...Hey! Hopped over from <A HREF="http://www.lifeintheshwa.blogspot.com/" REL="nofollow">Life in the 'shwa</A>.<BR/><BR/>Great post, and happy de-lurking week!velocibadgergirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11284169501055131574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168620204755501462007-01-12T11:43:00.000-05:002007-01-12T11:43:00.000-05:00... I'm Denzylle in London, UK. Hi there.... I'm Denzylle in London, UK. Hi there.Lanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15960275406192246127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168615213877285372007-01-12T10:20:00.000-05:002007-01-12T10:20:00.000-05:00This is a particularly close subject to my heart a...This is a particularly close subject to my heart as I was raised with a sister who has a neurological disorder that manifests itself with both invisible symptoms in the form of cognitive delays and visible in the form of tumors on her skin. <BR/>I have always been acutely aware of how people react to outward appearances of children due to this and I know you tend toward being your own worst critic, but I don't necessarily think it's vanity. Couldn't it also be you reacting with sensitivity to those who would recoil or look away, knowing that YOUR child has a fleeting condition, while so many others have issues that they must live with every day for life? It pains me almost to a physical degree to see anyone look away from a child who has a disfigurement, however mild and I am sure it does you as well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168613933182429082007-01-12T09:58:00.000-05:002007-01-12T09:58:00.000-05:00I have twin boys who dont look at all alike. One ...I have twin boys who dont look at all alike. One twin has chubby cheeks, a dimple and HUGE light blue eyes - a regular Gerber baby. The other is skinny and wirey with a more angular face, and darker blue eyes - gorgeous, but not the textbook Gerber baby that his brother is. Strangers always gravitate toward Gerber-Baby and say how gorgeous he is and "Oh those eyes, that dimple. He's a charmer!" and then look at other boy and say "Oh, he's cute too, but THIS one." (gesturing back toward Gerber) <BR/>I really have to restrain myself from throttling them and holding them down to describe in great detail how thinner twin is equally gorgeous, with his twinkling dark blue eyes and mischeivious grin, the way his blonde hair curls just so and his lips are so deliciously pink and perfectly formed.<BR/>They are STRANGERS, their opinions dont matter. But oh, they do.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168611039205608902007-01-12T09:10:00.000-05:002007-01-12T09:10:00.000-05:00Hello! I am the person who will always think of yo...Hello! I am the person who will always think of you as "Her Bad Nipples." We'll always have San Jose (and the pasties), baybee.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168610497029373292007-01-12T09:01:00.000-05:002007-01-12T09:01:00.000-05:00I love it- I too have the kind of children that ar...I love it- I too have the kind of children that are the say hi to stangers until they take notice and I have had my share of times when I get pissy to the fact that an adult can just ignore the sweet smile of a child-whats up with that?!- and I have had more experiences where, on an outing- strangers stopping to talk to and adore my kids is commonplace- it warms your heart- but in a situation where adults treat a child whether with "the pox" or any other thing that may or may not be NORMAL in thier eyes- with distain just serves to enrage me- there are people and children with permanent disabilities- and to stare or scowl ( especially as an adult) makes you wonder what the hell people are thinking- (sigh) Trying to teach my 6 yr old that there are people with differences and that they are not really any different than he is- so to comment or to stare is wrong- treat them and EVERYONE you meet as you would want to be treated- how after all these years did the golden rule become archaic? If its done in innocence it's one thing but an adult should know better- and if they don't - I don't want my kids to aknowledge them either- when they are ignored- I usually look at the person (with a sweet smile) and say to my child ( fondly, with a caress of their cheek) "oh sweetie, that's not your fault that not everyone wants to smile or say hi to you, some people just don't like kids-or they are just plain rude" then I kiss my kid on the cheek and we walk on- (evil grin in place) I know its stooping to a shitty level but it makes ME feel better! P.S.I finally added you to my blogroll(yay!)AngelHawkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09985049709938574837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168607729974324802007-01-12T08:15:00.000-05:002007-01-12T08:15:00.000-05:00De-lurking to say hi. I have been stopping by nea...De-lurking to say hi. I have been stopping by nearly every day, but rarely comment. Hi. <BR/><BR/>Very glad to hear that WonderBaby is feeling better.A. Nonny Mousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09509054535644094092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168599388527631452007-01-12T05:56:00.000-05:002007-01-12T05:56:00.000-05:00What a great way to put it. We should see only th...What a great way to put it. We should see only the glow. I needed to hear that today.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for a beautiful post, as always.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168597544851370332007-01-12T05:25:00.000-05:002007-01-12T05:25:00.000-05:00Hi!De-lurking here, been reading your blog for the...Hi!<BR/>De-lurking here, been reading your blog for the best part of a year now. I'm glad the Wonderbaby is mending.Hannah1981https://www.blogger.com/profile/10146572357895173102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168583434727502822007-01-12T01:30:00.000-05:002007-01-12T01:30:00.000-05:00I'm still cracking up at the "Hi! Cat!"I've never ...I'm still cracking up at the "Hi! Cat!"<BR/><BR/>I've never had chicken pox so it scares me. But it doesn't mean that I run at the first site of it. I bought an invis-shield device off the internet that emits a high-pitch radio frequency to prevent anything (Its powewred by crystals and beer nuts)Creative-Type Dadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13594687030412942701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168582204363737452007-01-12T01:10:00.000-05:002007-01-12T01:10:00.000-05:00Hi! Wonder Baby is a cutie even with her pox. Some...Hi! Wonder Baby is a cutie even with her pox. Some people are just nuts.Awesome Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03523320907836876707noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168579424274750112007-01-12T00:23:00.000-05:002007-01-12T00:23:00.000-05:00i've worked 8 years, writing poems and stories w/k...i've worked 8 years, writing poems and stories w/kids with end phase cancer, twice a week. i've wanted to punch people for their reaction to my kids when we go out on a field trip. people refuse to look at them, or stare at them. especially the kids who are somehow disfigured, with a face tumor or a missing limb. <BR/><BR/>i think a lot of that reaction is fear, of course, people unable to imagine their own loved ones in the same position, who find it so painful to see a suffering child that they ignore them. but it still enfuriates me, because my kids are old enough to notice being shunned. which isn't to say i don't have to try to look at a child sometimes, a child with a tumor the size of a baseball on her forhead. i think of the child progressing through life, of all the people he or she will encounter, of all the pain looking so different is going to engender. of dating. all those imaginings make me want to turn away.<BR/><BR/>i think what you say about vanity is profound. but i also think that your experience with "abnormality" and your discofort with your own and other peoples' reactions to it, hits on feelings that are not simply vanity either.<BR/><BR/>what a way to delurk, right?<BR/><BR/>thanks for the honesty in this post.MaGreenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01503005055991683542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1168578353891168852007-01-12T00:05:00.000-05:002007-01-12T00:05:00.000-05:00In the spirit of delurking :)I've never commented ...In the spirit of delurking :)<BR/><BR/>I've never commented here before, but have been lurking a long time. Am a new T.O. mommy in the west end.<BR/><BR/>The issue of mommy vanity is an interesting one. I often find I tend to go in the other direction, even though I am aware that she is quite cute (in my opinion!). For some reason I find myself annoyed by the attention that my baby receives in public (she was a preemie, and is still tiny for her age). People often comment on how tiny she is and how adorable that is. I find myself thinking would you find her as cute if she wasn't so tiny? But then again perhaps it is just oversensitivity to her being born premature, and my own feelings of guilt related to her early arrival... but that is an entirely other topic.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for your always insightful posts!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com