tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post115350480915260470..comments2023-11-02T08:09:02.234-04:00Comments on Her Bad Mother: In The Forest (Post Script) and other random crapHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153804072075077262006-07-25T01:07:00.000-04:002006-07-25T01:07:00.000-04:00You know that I am a brand new reader of your blog...You know that I am a brand new reader of your blog, right? So it's not like I read your archives and chose to read you based on your feelings about religion. And yet, once again, I find myself drawn to a blogger who, like me, is facing the dilemna of how to introduce religion to her children without prejudicing their beliefs with their own personal opinion.<BR/><BR/>Maybe it's the lack of daily mentions of Jesus or God that attracts me unconsciously. All I know is, I could have written this post, and several others recently written by my closest blog friends.<BR/><BR/>In a nutshell, I have recently had a complete change of opinion about not only organized religion, but about the Bible and God and faith in general. Yet my youngest son thinks Sunday School sounds "fun", and would really like to go. I can't just drop him off like it's daycare, but I can't deprive him of the opportunity to learn for himself. One of these days I'll get my own post up about this subject. In the meantime, thanks for posting yours.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153785879339936392006-07-24T20:04:00.000-04:002006-07-24T20:04:00.000-04:00Very interesting-My wife and I have had many discu...Very interesting-<BR/>My wife and I have had many discussions about this. We both come from some type of Christian background (my parents were on the crazy-wacky side, and her parents were on the lighter side). In the end we decided to find a church (not a crazy one) and raise her with some type of religion instead of nothing.Creative-Type Dadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13594687030412942701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153768712570242162006-07-24T15:18:00.000-04:002006-07-24T15:18:00.000-04:00I think you can learn about faith through faith in...I think you can learn about faith through faith in things besides "Faith" in god or miracles or whatever. Plenty of people (myself included) attend church regularly and believe in stuff without thinking about it too deeply. I guess in those days when I went to church I had faith in all the stuff I was supposed to, but mostly I just went through the motions. I guess your kid will probably be reflexive and thoughtful about things, because you'll train her in those traditions. But I don't think that simply attending church or being a member of one necessarily gives you faith in it. Reading the bible regularly will give one a background in the bible as basis for judeo-christian stuff, but not necessarily a tendency towards 'Faith.' Anyways, can't people be critical towards religions without being from one? Wouldn't those people be able to be critical in different ways than someone 'from the inside'?<BR/><BR/>Most likely my son will not be seeing the inside of a church ever as his father is an evangelical atheist. I like the catholic rituals as a meditation aid, but that's it. I guess he'll read the bible with me so he's familiar with it for movies & cartoons references, and with his father for talking-points to use in arguments with believers (if he takes after his father).<BR/><BR/>PS - The baby + Kermie pictures are classic!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153715254031439432006-07-24T00:27:00.000-04:002006-07-24T00:27:00.000-04:00your thoughts on religion totally are in line with...your thoughts on religion totally are in line with mine....except you can write it way better, I may just have to send Becca to this post in 15 years .... hehe.<BR/><BR/>Crazy about you and Brit being on the same wave length...sadly her wave is much shorter!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153659461693127992006-07-23T08:57:00.000-04:002006-07-23T08:57:00.000-04:00I think we're both on the same page about religion...I think we're both on the same page about religion and teaching faith/spirituality to our children. I want Cordy to look at it with a critical eye, but to believe if she wants, and to not be forced into one set of beliefs, but pick and choose to find her own faith.<BR/><BR/>I swear I'm not some (Tom Cruise) crazy person trying to convert you (since I don't even belong to a church, for one), but check out <A HREF="http://www.uua.org/aboutuu/uufaq.html" REL="nofollow">this link.</A> I also want Cordy to have religious education, and I want it to be something like this, that doesn't limit her to choosing only one set of beliefs. <BR/><BR/>I still remember my father telling me, "You were baptized Catholic, so you are Catholic, no matter what you think. You have no choice." Ha.Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07345875955750219033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153635297184054262006-07-23T02:14:00.000-04:002006-07-23T02:14:00.000-04:00Apologies in advance for what will likely turn out...Apologies in advance for what will likely turn out to be a deadly-long comment...<BR/>First off, Izzy - "And the last time I checked, tigers didn't hunger for danger OR adventure. They hungered for a zebra or a gazelle." - you made me CHOKE on my iced tea. Thankyouverymuch. But in a <I>good</I> way, of course. Heh.<BR/>Next off, HBM, do you read BitchPhD? Because this whole Blake thing would totally fit in with <A HREF="http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/2006/07/poetry-friday.html" REL="nofollow">this post</A>: <BR/>Then from the gloom came Britney Spears<BR/>And broke the poets down to tears<BR/>Did He smile His work to see?<BR/>Did He who made Will Blake make thee?<BR/>Fuck you, clown. <BR/>(That will not make any sense unless you read that link, trust me!)<BR/>Annnnd... it's interesting that you're pondering these (religion) issues just at this time, because I had a long convo with the 12-year-old last night about this, and how she wasn't locked into Christianity (She actually triggered the conversation by saying, "Too bad I'm just stuck with being a Christian, because that's what Grandma is.")... I told her she should not look at it that way at all, and that she should explore all the religions she could before deciding what made the most sense to her, what resonated with her, what explained the Universe in the way that jibed best with her personal outlook on the world. My thing is, you can't be too honest with your child about religion. There is no such thing as too much transparency with religion; if perhaps my parents had been a little more honest about their theology and the doubts they felt, maybe I wouldn't now be such a crazed Agnostic.<BR/>Buddhism is looking good, though...Melhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07332126804455557046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153632664310063482006-07-23T01:31:00.000-04:002006-07-23T01:31:00.000-04:00I think you've got a wonderful outlook on the reli...I think you've got a wonderful outlook on the religious aspects, what it can do for a person and in what ways you plan to introduce it. I found myself nodding in agreement ALOT in this post.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08527762200993175239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153621333727161362006-07-22T22:22:00.000-04:002006-07-22T22:22:00.000-04:00I, too, have thought about religion and how it rel...I, too, have thought about religion and how it relates to my son. I grew up in a very religious Baptist Family (2 uncles are ministers) and it was just the way life was for me.<BR/>Stuff happened - not fun.<BR/>But, what took me 10 years (and an amazing psychology professor) to learn was that I had to seperate the notion of God and Faith from the people who claim to represent God and Faith. I guess you could call that organized religion - I don't know.<BR/>I struggle with teaching Matt my beliefs without subjecting him to some of the stuff I had to deal with. I don't quite know how.Laural Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08459584652802529868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153606643992217052006-07-22T18:17:00.000-04:002006-07-22T18:17:00.000-04:00While I'd prefer (obviously) that my children foll...While I'd prefer (obviously) that my children follow my own brilliant path, if they choose a different path that will be fine with me. What matters to me is that they be given the opportunity to choose.<BR/><BR/>Now, obviously, when I say that I'd prefer they follow me in becoming, eventually, critical, I have to admit that that is a strong preference - as is my preference that they love books and good music and art etc. etc. And there's the dilemma. I want them to make their own choices, but I also want to nudge them - gently, gently - toward the choices that *I* think are best. And there may be a fundamental contradiction between those objectives.Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153602494760323142006-07-22T17:08:00.000-04:002006-07-22T17:08:00.000-04:00Melissa beat me to it. What if, in spite of every...Melissa beat me to it. What if, in spite of everything, my child grew up believing the opposite of what I believe?Grannyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17283823157675990935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153597057715003942006-07-22T15:37:00.000-04:002006-07-22T15:37:00.000-04:00Hmmmm, well I thought you made your point the firs...Hmmmm, well I thought you made your point the first time and even more now. Here's my question for you.Are you against taking her to church (Or whatever) in the first few years of her life and letting her then decided if she wants to continue? Would you be willing to physically take her? Or do you want to teach her about the religion you grew up wiht yourself? If you decided not to take her to church, she will never get the same version of religion that you got. If you do take her, then will you despise being there? She will eventually pick up on that. See, there are so many questions. And there are no easy answers. Also, what would you do if she decided that she completly believed in it all and you still don't? I think it is great that you are discussing this. It is an important topic.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13300779669186694151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153582269499924492006-07-22T11:31:00.000-04:002006-07-22T11:31:00.000-04:00NLG - how did you know?!?My own struggle is how to...NLG - how did you know?!?<BR/><BR/>My own struggle is how to be my daughter's guide without entirely colouring my tour with my own issues. As I said in the last post, my beliefs are quiet and idiosyncratic and critical - I believe in God but am critical of organized religion and read the Bible now as literature. How do introduce her to church and prayer and story without, however quietly, adding my tour-guide commentary? ("The stories in the Bible are nice, sweetie, and important but they're just stories. Moses didn't *really* part a sea. Seas can't be parted. It was rumor, and a political ploy to mobilize a people." Ruins the magic.) I'd like to give her the chance to see things through her own eyes.<BR/><BR/>The story thing isn't so difficult - I overstated my case. But when she asks me whether *I* believe the stories, etc...? Sigh.<BR/><BR/>KP - I do think - know - that people can understand the force of religion with experiencing it firsthand. But put such experience alongside the other things that I mention and I think that you have a forceful package. That said - and as I said in the post - I don't think religion is the ONLY path to the ends that I'm seeking for E. But it's a pretty direct one (if bumpy, and potentially dark in places).And, again, again -I don't want to reject it on her behalf.<BR/><BR/>Yes, I'm a hand-wringer.<BR/><BR/>And yes, I did cheat off Britney. Her work is just so good, you know? The bouncers are letting her into heaven fer shur!Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153580488883653742006-07-22T11:01:00.000-04:002006-07-22T11:01:00.000-04:00I have this feeling that you sat through (or presi...I have this feeling that you sat through (or presided over) one too many classes in which someone said "Well, I haven't read the book, but I think Spinoza was saying..." I can definitely get behind the desire to know something before you choose. I'm not sure I can do that if it means being my daughter's guide through something I do not believe. (Pauses to consider whether to compare myself to Virgil or Beatrice. Better go with Virgil, as a perfect woman I am not.)nonlineargirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05414675024101618604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153578091021931032006-07-22T10:21:00.000-04:002006-07-22T10:21:00.000-04:00Does that bit about compassion for other people's ...Does that bit about compassion for other people's situations mean democrats are actually religious too? I thought the right wing had laid claim to that... heh. I have to say I'm not sure one has to have experienced religion to understand why other people would turn to it - I do see that without scorn, despite having been brought up without it myself. <BR/><BR/>But! There certainly were several times during my liberal arts undergrad that I thought it would have been useful to have some knowledge of the bible outside of what seeps in through osmosis while immersed in western culture. You are on point there, I quite agree. <BR/><BR/>I also quite see what you mean about exposure to something before deciding about it. Aren't we always telling our kids, "You have to try one bite before you can tell me you don't like it!"<BR/><BR/>And are you copying from Britney now? She should totally have curled her arm around and bent her head over that paper she was writing. Cheater, you. (but I love the rewrite - that's good stuff.)kittenpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05215443551546036909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153568173413789502006-07-22T07:36:00.000-04:002006-07-22T07:36:00.000-04:00Catherine--again, you've given me a lot to think a...Catherine--again, you've given me a lot to think about.<BR/><BR/>Now I'm off to do my interview questions.metro mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00461160881873679783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153548575985585182006-07-22T02:09:00.000-04:002006-07-22T02:09:00.000-04:00You laid out quite an eloquent and thought-provoki...You laid out quite an eloquent and thought-provoking argument for introducing religion into your children's lives. I loved your post and your reasons for wanting to expose them to religion. <BR/><BR/>I feel that religion is a tool to assist one with his or her spirituality. However, I don't believe that it is necessary to have religion to be spiritual. Therefore, while I also want to expose my children to religion, I will honestly not be upset if they ultimately choose a religion other than the one they are raised in or if they choose not to participate in a structured religion at all, as long as they are emotionally and spiritually healthy.Cristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07245436504933052526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153545047102581152006-07-22T01:10:00.000-04:002006-07-22T01:10:00.000-04:00Bouncers in heaven....lolololol. I never thought o...Bouncers in heaven....lolololol. I never thought of it like that. But now I see it...St. Peter in a tight man-titty shirt with too much gel in his hair, turning away all the bad girls with an air of finely honed aloofness.<BR/><BR/>And that Britney thing...<BR/><BR/>My six year old could have written something with more substance. And the last time I checked, tigers didn't hunger for danger OR adventure. They hungered for a zebra or a gazelle. They're primary objective is to eat and survive, you dunce.<BR/><BR/>Doesn't she have an editor or someone to make sure she doesn't sound stupid..er?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153535121589650422006-07-21T22:25:00.000-04:002006-07-21T22:25:00.000-04:00Well it's almost eery (is that spelled correctly?)...Well it's almost eery (is that spelled correctly?) how your thought process on this is similar to mine. Wow.<BR/><BR/>And about the why it's raining/David Hasselhoff line... oh my God that's so bad, and let's just say beer doesn't taste nearly as good coming out of my nose as it did going in my mouth.the mystichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11536278508991059301noreply@blogger.com