tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post114903573015598404..comments2023-11-02T08:09:02.234-04:00Comments on Her Bad Mother: Because it's all about me. And her. But mostly me.Her Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1153486092424744202006-07-21T08:48:00.000-04:002006-07-21T08:48:00.000-04:00Really amazing! Useful information. All the best.&...Really amazing! Useful information. All the best.<BR/><A HREF="http://slots.mucho2.be/more_pci_slots.html" REL="nofollow">»</A>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149313293891891942006-06-03T01:41:00.000-04:002006-06-03T01:41:00.000-04:00whoops sorry about the typos. i must get more slee...whoops sorry about the typos. i must get more sleep.ms bluehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06997925420763913039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149313215347622402006-06-03T01:40:00.000-04:002006-06-03T01:40:00.000-04:00We put our parents up on a pedastal and when a new...We put our parents up on a pedastal and when a new light is shined upon them, it can cause all kinds of emotions. It's is your natural daughter duty to worry about the people that you love. Remember that your parents have made it this far and just having your love makes the world of difference. <BR/><BR/>I spent the Friday afternoon in Terminal 1 having a photo session of my daughters with their Grandma. She flew back home today. I wish I would have run into you!ms bluehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06997925420763913039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149289814241149522006-06-02T19:10:00.000-04:002006-06-02T19:10:00.000-04:00Certainly I will sound like a paranoid schizophren...Certainly I will sound like a paranoid schizophrenic in saying that you've stolen my thoughts and my soul. These are issues I grapple with to an almost obsessive degree (perhaps not in my blog, as I am new to blogging, but in my thoughts). <BR/>Another issue I grapple with is the idea of the parent/child relationship as being inherently inequal, and therefore exploitative. The idea that substantial and permanent injury (to greater or lesser degree, of course) is simply a *part* of childhood. Yikes!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149273805238329992006-06-02T14:43:00.000-04:002006-06-02T14:43:00.000-04:00Yeah, for me the worry started earlier, at 18, whe...Yeah, for me the worry started earlier, at 18, when things began to go wierd in our family. But even for my husband, whose family are the Cleavers, he has started to see his parents as old people and worry about them, too. <BR/><BR/>It's inevitable that as we get older and frailer and more vulnerable, our children will see it, if we've done our jobs right, and care and worry about us. It's tough, because we are so wrapped up in so many things already, to add another worry, and it's hard to think that they won't be there for us one day. We want them to just be okay. But they are people, and the fact that we worry is a good thing, really. It shows that they made you a caring, loving, compassionate woman. I bet you want WonderBaby to be the same. <BR/><BR/>Take care and talk/write it out all you need. We get it, we really do, and it helps to get it out, I think.kittenpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05215443551546036909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149220238336424892006-06-01T23:50:00.000-04:002006-06-01T23:50:00.000-04:00We have been really light on posts lately since p-...We have been really light on posts lately since p-man and I can't agree about suitability of the posts. Have I mentioned, tag teams suck? I had to languish a draft I was pretty happy with because it was too self-conscious and 'ungrateful' ... it was about the grandpeople and somewhat related to the old childhood you coin here.<BR/><BR/>So very very well said. Safe home.mo-wohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10934156423936866994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149216340453909522006-06-01T22:45:00.000-04:002006-06-01T22:45:00.000-04:00I've only recently started to realize the mortalit...I've only recently started to realize the mortality of my mother. She's always been so strong and independent, and now I see minor health problems creeping in and it scares the hell out of me. <BR/><BR/>And it is weird to be stuck in this middle place, a parent with her own child to care for, and yet still a child to another person, and that person is the one who shaped your entire definition of parent.Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07345875955750219033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149214467220337792006-06-01T22:14:00.000-04:002006-06-01T22:14:00.000-04:00I agree with Paula."You know,for some-one who feel...I agree with Paula.<BR/><BR/>"You know,for some-one who feels blog-challenged, this is some particularly insightful and powerful writing."<BR/><BR/>You write from the heart dealing with topics that poets stumble over.<BR/><BR/>Thank you, always, for sharing your journey with us.josetteplank.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16790825543155685363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149211158665740752006-06-01T21:19:00.000-04:002006-06-01T21:19:00.000-04:00You know,for some-one who feels blog-challenged, t...You know,for some-one who feels blog-challenged, this is some particularly insightful and powerful writing. <BR/><BR/>"Am I to my parents what my daughter is to me? How do I see my parents? Love my parents? Will my daughter see me and love me the same way?"<BR/><BR/>This to me is a "wow. If I hadn't had a baby I would never have understood this part of my parents" moment. When I bacame a mother, my point of view suddenly took a 360, and I look back on my life and imagine how I would feel if my Impling made some of the choices I made along the way. Then I try not to panic. I hope, (and I believe) that my girl's love for me will be very different that what I feel for my mother. And I want her to feel, every day, how much I love her.<BR/><BR/>It's very gutsy writing, Bad One. Sometimes the best work isn't the stuff that falls trippingly off the tongue. <BR/><BR/>That being said, I'm very interested in reading about penises. And dolphins. Dude.Namitohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06476552972162497517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149195344147826592006-06-01T16:55:00.000-04:002006-06-01T16:55:00.000-04:00Just think of this all as pruning back the deadwoo...Just think of this all as pruning back the deadwood, so the new stuff can growDawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12920042208198309201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149183142771847632006-06-01T13:32:00.000-04:002006-06-01T13:32:00.000-04:00You are a nicer person than I am. I love my paren...You are a nicer person than I am. I love my parents, but I do not worry about them. I came to grips with their faults and frailties long before I had children. I want them to be happy and healthy, but I cannot change them or influence their actions.<BR/><BR/>That said, I hope you and yours are well. Peace out, dude.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149179511241775102006-06-01T12:31:00.000-04:002006-06-01T12:31:00.000-04:00I have struggled with the same exact thing recentl...I have struggled with the same exact thing recently. I took down a post about a friend who had suffered a tragedy and my feelings toward my friend. I took it down because even though the media printed her story in all its gory detail, I didn't want to add to her pain. It wasn't my story to tell. I have often thought of revamping that post so that it reveals only my feelings towards her and not what befell her and her family. It's something I struggle with.<BR/><BR/>It's so weird, but Binky over at <A HREF="http://8hours.blogspot.com/2006/05/wednesday-morning.html" REL="nofollow">8 Hours</A> posted yesterday about something that reminded me of my friend's tragedy as well, and now you, the very next person on my blogroll, remind me of the same friend, with a different facet of thought. It's amazing to me just how NOT ALONE I am in my thoughts.Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10612468442701491963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149164660569781462006-06-01T08:24:00.000-04:002006-06-01T08:24:00.000-04:00I think it natural to fuss about WonderBaby's worr...I think it natural to fuss about WonderBaby's worry for you in later years. We have found ourselves in a new position--sandwiched between our parents and our children. We're brand new at being moms, and old hats at being children, yet we find that our new mother roles have drastically changed our roles as daughters. It's sometimes frightening to realize that our parents have felt for us what we feel for our children (hello, Guilt City!), and that our children will feel for us what we feel /felt for our parents. <BR/><BR/>And I can't wait for the rest...Duuuuuuude!Jezerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07342441899854569351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149155646270233752006-06-01T05:54:00.000-04:002006-06-01T05:54:00.000-04:00Writing through the storm is a good thing.I often ...Writing through the storm is a good thing.<BR/><BR/>I often struggle with this same question. "Love you Forever" has the power to make me cry, mess with my head, and I'll admit, mildly creep me out all at the same time. Being a parent and a daughter is overwhelming some days.<BR/><BR/>We learn from our parents. From both the good and the not so good. And then we take what is uniquely our own perspective and love our kids with all we've got. That is exactly what you are doing. With grace, humour, insight and love.<BR/><BR/>Now I am eagerly awaiting the definition of the word "dude" and more on penisis and dolphins. Sounds a bit scandalous...Sandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17049745050947936354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149141481829390382006-06-01T01:58:00.000-04:002006-06-01T01:58:00.000-04:00I know what you mean. It's very difficult to writ...I know what you mean. It's very difficult to write about my experience as a mother without also writing about my experience of having been mothered.<BR/><BR/>And in my case, a lot of it wasn't so great, but improved vastly as time went on and I have a GREAT mother now, so how much do I make her feel beaten up over what she failed to do when I was a child?<BR/><BR/>Very difficult thing to balance.the mystichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11536278508991059301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149127454367830062006-05-31T22:04:00.000-04:002006-05-31T22:04:00.000-04:00The shifting of identities as one becomes not only...The shifting of identities as one becomes not only a child but also a parent makes fertile ground for a variety of struggles, both internal and external. <BR/><BR/>If my parents were still alive, I suspect I might be grappling with things similar to yours.<BR/><BR/>Looking forward to the "dude" post. Is IS my favorite word, you know :)<BR/><BR/>Welcome back!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149126233775577142006-05-31T21:43:00.000-04:002006-05-31T21:43:00.000-04:00Yeah, there are so many dilemmas here, that is tru...Yeah, there are so many dilemmas here, that is true. You captured them all really well. Good luck working through it. I think we all need it, huh? :-)Kristenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02667140531327670081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149124928401284202006-05-31T21:22:00.000-04:002006-05-31T21:22:00.000-04:00This work is important and difficult. Good for yo...This work is important and difficult. Good for you for pushing through it this way.nonlineargirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05414675024101618604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149123693687401152006-05-31T21:01:00.000-04:002006-05-31T21:01:00.000-04:00Glad you're back!Glad you're back!metro mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00461160881873679783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149119066747459042006-05-31T19:44:00.000-04:002006-05-31T19:44:00.000-04:00Somehow messed up there - I didn't want to delete ...Somehow messed up there - I didn't want to delete my comment - just make a correction... sigh... I'll learn how this works eventually...<BR/><BR/>Original comment:<BR/>Once again an excellent post and thank you for sharing. I will respect the moratorium and I look forward to the dude, penis and dolphin stories.motherbumperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16053978199395919666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149118904449974322006-05-31T19:41:00.000-04:002006-05-31T19:41:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.motherbumperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16053978199395919666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149115465563657862006-05-31T18:44:00.000-04:002006-05-31T18:44:00.000-04:00Thanks for putting all this down.It will help thos...Thanks for putting all this down.<BR/><BR/>It will help those who read it and I hope it helped you.<BR/><BR/>AnnGrannyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17283823157675990935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149114190739909122006-05-31T18:23:00.000-04:002006-05-31T18:23:00.000-04:00did you guys go to the aquarium with out me and th...did you guys go to the aquarium with out me and the Girl Friday??? <BR/><BR/>Just remember if you are in the environs of Granville and Broadway any workday time this week, you got my email.mo-wohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10934156423936866994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149111268998638312006-05-31T17:34:00.000-04:002006-05-31T17:34:00.000-04:00"Right now I am caught up in all of the emotion of..."Right now I am caught up in all of the emotion of new parenthood and old childhood and the clash of these storms creates a beautiful but startling lightning." That's so well said. I think what you are feeling is a normal evolution in parenting, it just may be harder for some who feel conflicted about the realizations they face. It's good that you are processing these things. Keep writing, even if you choose to just save it. You will work it out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21558474.post-1149109856558295362006-05-31T17:10:00.000-04:002006-05-31T17:10:00.000-04:00It is absolutely true that things totally change o...It is absolutely true that things totally change once we become parents ourselves. How we view our parents and the world around us changes.<BR/><BR/>I hope you can find a resolution for you worries.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com